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Dear Diary,
I’ve honestly never done something like this before so I hope that I’m doing it right.
Fuyumi cried when I arrived for dinner tonight.
Granted that’s not exactly a new occurrence but this time it was definitely my fault, even if she is insisting that it’s happy tears, whatever that means.
Can people cry when they're happy?
I suppose I should consult the expert tomorrow (his name is Midoriya. I’m not sure yet if we are friends but maybe I’ll ask him about that tomorrow as well.) I definitely wouldn’t know.
Getting back to Fuyumi though, she was apparently so happy I’d reached out (hence the tears she claims) that she even had a gift prepared for me.
It was a blue notebook with the words ‘Ice to Meet You’ on it (which I honestly thought was funny) and a matching pen for writing with. (that’s you). (well I mean you’re the notebook. I’m holding the pen.)
It’s because I told her that I still had a lot of resentments and confusion in me but that I wanted to give a relationship with her and Natsuo and Mom a try, I think. She says Diaries are where people can write their innermost thoughts and sometimes it helps give them perspective on things.
I hope so anyway. She’s smart and a teacher so she probably knows what she’s talking about.
Anyway a lot has happened since the school year started so I’m not really sure where to start when it comes to ‘sharing my innermost thoughts to gain perspective’.
While I can feel myself changing sometimes, it’s scary and I’m unsure if it’s the right decisions being made.
It all started when Midoriya kicked my ass at the sports festival.
That’s the way I see it anyway. The judges ruled in my favor so I was the one that advanced to the next round but I know deep down that he’s the one that really won.
Or well, considering everything, maybe we both did?
I dunno.
I tried apologizing to him about it but he waved me off (with his non dominant hand because he’d utterly destroyed the other one fighting me which was so insane holy shit!!!) and told me there was no way Recovery Girl would have cleared him to fight the next round anyway. Apparently he even had surgery!
I tried apologizing again when I heard that but he insisted it was his own fault and that he has no regrets. (that part made me feel funny inside like i lost control of my fire for a second cause I got all hot and flushed)
Since then I’ve decided to try and take his advice. Endeavor has had a hold on me for too long, I can finally see that now. I hadn’t even realized how many decisions I myself had been making based solely on how he would react to them. I mean, look at my hero costume! I can’t believe I let my hatred of him get so far that I would design something so hideous just to make sure that all the bits of me that remind me of him were obscured from view!
It sounds so silly now.
Especially seeing it all written out like this.
…maybe that’s what Fuyumi meant about diaries and perspectives.
Yeah… I think it is helpful writing these things out and reading them over after.
I kind of like it.
That’s all for today though. I’m still a very busy hero student and I’ve got training and homework to deal with. If I write too much now my wrist might start hurting before I can finish my essay.
Not to mention Natsuo made a siblings group chat that I need to backread after this and I think I got added to a class chat at some point too?
I should go check that.
Later though. For now I need to prioritize designing a new hero costume and submitting it as soon as possible so it will hopefully be ready in time for internships. I’m not sure yet who I’ll go with but whoever it is, I know I’m definitely not going out looking like that.
Sincerely,
Todoroki Shouto.
PS Natsuo just texted me that Diaries are apparently for girls. I don’t really understand why it matters but I would hate to offend you by using the wrong name for you so starting tomorrow I’ll refer to you by your proper title of Journal.
Please forgive me for my ignorance.
Later,
Shouto