Chapter Text
Jason can't breathe.
His lungs reject the air around him as he even thinks about moving from his position on his apartment floor. He doesn't even remember how he got here from the base Bruce had altered his brain in.
The memories only come back in flashes of pure terror.
'It's for your own good Jason-'
He grabs for his phone from pocket but his hands are trembling with fear just from the thought of calling anyone to help him.
'You can start over-'
Jason taps on the screen until he sees an old contact. There isn't a full name because he wasn't stupid enough to not know Bruce would go through his contacts if he got access to his phone.
Maybe he did when Jason passed out.
'I have a house in Metropolis set up for you-'
The phone rings.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
When the line clicks a cold female voice enters the room where only Jason's hurried breathing had been.
"I thought you were done with the League Jason." Talia Al Ghul says from the other end of the line.
'I love you but you are a murderer Jason-"
"Talia-" Jason says with a choked off sob. "He did something to me- I can't- help-“
"Who? Where are you Jason?" There is something close to panic in Talia's tone.
"Bruce-" Jason gasps out with a strangled shout as his adrenaline spikes again which sends a new wave of pure terror through him. "-'m in Gotham."
"I have operatives in the area, they will be there in five minutes. Do you want-" She pauses then seems to rethink the end of her sentence before continuing, "What can I do to help you?"
"Ducra- she hopefully can fix me." Jason tells her and hopes to god that it's true because he can feel his heart begin to hurt with the amount of stress on it.
"They are three minutes out, hold on Ibni." Talia murmurs on the other end of the line.
Jason somehow manages to huff out a laugh, "You haven't called me that in a while T."
"You haven't called in a while." She states and Jason winces.
It's been at least a year or two since he cut ties with the league to begin to make up with the bats. He had told Talia over the phone how Bruce wanted him to better and Jason was willing to try for their relationship.
Look where that has gotten him.
"Sorry-" Another spike of adrenaline from the anger hits him like a truck.
His heart flutters in his chest and Jason can feel the edges of his vision blurring. Talia is yelling on the other end of the phone- he can't hear what it is, just frustrated and scared arabic.
"'M so sorry T- I fucked it all up again-" Jason is rambling now, hoping that he will return like he did the last couple times he has died. "I just wanted Bruce to-"
To what?
To love him?
To look at him like he used to and not like a criminal?
To be his dad again?
Batman would never be the father to a murderer, Jason should have learned that lesson by now.
Catherine always told him that his heart was too big for his body. He would feed the stray cats and the birds when the money wasn't tight. He would hold his mother when she broke down about an unpaid bill.
He misses her a lot when he is close to death.
Someone crashes through his window as his eyes shut slowly. People are yelling at each other above him and it brings back memories of a childhood long lost.
'This is me saving you from yourself-'
Jason feels his heart stop and lets his mind drift away.
.𖥔 ݁ ˖
He wakes up again on the plane.
Multiple times.
Every time he flat lines again.
It scares the league members when he gets back up after being dead for a minute or two. He thinks it's reasonable since they are more used to dead bodies then live ones.
Talia joins them at some point when he gasps awake for what feels like the hundredth time and she is holding his wrist, searching for his fluctuating pulse.
She hugs him- the first human contact he has had in weeks and it makes him flat line again because apparently any emotion makes adrenaline even when you are happy too.
After that she just holds him through the many times he dies and comes back. Sometimes she is yelling over the phone in English and others in Arabic.
It's nice that she cares about him. He tells her that and he sees something in Talia break. Tears, something he has never seen from her before, stream down her face.
"Oh the things he has done to you, Jason." She says through tears. "He knows not what he has lost today."
He dies again.
And again.
And again.
Andagainandagainandagain
Can it be over?
Jason's tired.
He wants it to be over now.
He gets it Bruce.
Jason understands the lesson now.
Please dear god make it stop.
"Please- I am tired- I can't-" Jason is begging either god or Bruce and it doesn't matter at his point who.
"Breathe Jason!" Talia snaps at him. "If you keep working yourself up you will die again!"
Jason breathes.
He runs through the breathing techniques Talia taught to him when he was just beginning his training at the league. Back when he was young and angry and not as broken as he is now.
He is hauled up to his feet and dragged out of the plane. Jason stumbles along beside them but he can't see their faces which spikes his fear and he is back where he started.
"Almost there Jason, Ducra can help you." Talia promises him with certainty in her tone.
Jason, the heir to the All Caste and wielder of the All Blades, is dragged broken and dying into the acres of All.
Ducra walks out in a fury, her robes dragging on the stone walkway up to the main chamber. She is stone faced as she looks down at them.
"What is the meaning of this Al Ghul? Why is my heir whimpering like a child?" She snaps at Talia.
"Batman did something to him, changed his body's reaction to adrenaline so he feels fear. He has been having heart attacks every two minutes." Talia growls in a voice he has never heard before from her.
"'M sorry- I can't stop it-" Jason slips out of the hold of the league members and kneels at her feet.
"Stop crying child. I will help you." Ducra actually sounds kind which means he must really be in bad shape if she is being nice to him.
She bangs her staff on the ground, "Take him to the main chamber, I will be there to cleanse him in a moment."
Two All-Caste members appear and help him up. He wants to hear what Talia is talking to Ducra about but he is too out of it right now.
When he is in the chamber they help him to his knees.
The cool stone is grounding as he tries to meditate. He removes his body armor and shirt to expose the blood red tattoos the run along his arms and torso. Jason feels safer here. The air is cleaner here then in Gotham.
God, what happened to Gotham?
Did they talk sense into Bruce?
Did they start looking for him?
Ducra enters, all controlled fury, and stands in front of him.
"Let's begin to cleanse you of this curse."
.𖥔 ݁ ˖
Talia paces outside the main chamber of the all-caste. She is furious- at Bruce and at herself for not keeping a closer eye on Jason.
Out of both of the boys she has claimed as her own Jason was more of a bleeding heart.
Damian was kind in ways Talia never could be. She is still amazed at how Ra's was not able to stomp out all the care he had for all creatures. He had told her about his want to be a doctor instead of a vigilante. She sees him being able to break the cycle she couldn’t.
But Jason gave and gave until there was nothing left of himself. He would sacrifice himself over and over again for people who didn't care without any complaints. She should have stopped him from going back to them.
Now is not the time for regrets though.
For now she is controlling the anger as she waits for Ducra to tell her what they need to do for Jason. Talia will keep her eldest safe and try to make contact with her youngest to check on him as well.
Everything else can wait.