Chapter Text
My brother was passionate about music.
He sang to me and played whenever I felt down. When things got too rough with our parents, he’d distract me from it all just by plucking a few chords.
I loved him dearly.
But eventually, his passion took the best of him, and he decided to leave to play for the world and spread his feelings.
…Leaving me alone with his guitar.
~𝅘𝅥𝅮~𝅘𝅥𝅮~𝅘𝅥𝅮~𝅘𝅥𝅮~𝅘𝅥𝅮~
The little boy sniffles, huddled close to items he cherished oh so dearly. His bottom lip warbles as he does his best to hold it in, chest in a thrumming ache.
He hiccups quietly in front of the doorway of his brother’s room, now empty.
“…why did you leave me, big brother?” He croaks.
Tiny, shaky fingers clutch the guitar tightly to the point they turn white.
“Mommy and Daddy say it’s my fault… is it? Did I do something wrong?”
Violent tremors wrack through his small body, unruly curls falling over teary eyes. They’re squinted, in hopes of keeping it all in.
“I miss you…”
A pause hangs over him as heavy guilt and blame consume the little boy.
“…M’sorry…”
His throat feels unbearably tight, but he needs to keep it in. Or else he’ll make it worse.
I can’t… how can I live without my big brother…?
He digs his teeth into his bottom lip harshly, which draws a bit of blood due to the countless times he has abused it.
Maybe… maybe if I play the guitar… he’ll come back…
The little boy nods to himself in determination that feels oh-so-bitter and suffocating.
Maybe I can fix everything like that. He continues to think.
His puffy eyes begin to ease the tears, frame relaxing. However, one could note that it was neither satisfaction nor relief. Instead, it was dullness that began to swarm in his eyes and squeeze his heart more ruthlessly.
Maybe I can get those emotions back…
~Some years later~
~Hikari’s room~
The faint sound of smooth chords being plucked wafts through the dark room. They bounce off the walls, echoing softly into the dull atmosphere. The only light is artificial and very dim, cast by a nearby lamp. The vibrations of the melody thrum against the guitar, seeping through to tickle the first layer of skin hidden beneath baggy clothing.
Gray eyes focus solely on the notes being played. They build a steady, desired rhythm that makes the teenager tap his socked foot against the hardwood floor. He imagines how the bass would sound in the background and plays it out with the beat against the floor while he strums the melody with his pick.
Eventually, he stops and hits a random key on his laptop to wake it from its screensaver. Eyes effortlessly drone over the notes he had written down, before they flicker to his guitar.
"Yeah.. sounds about right." He murmurs, voice a low muse.
Hikari is satisfied. As his head tilts, ebony brown hair follows, locks bouncing underneath his beanie. The red ends of hair are engulfed in what little light squeezes into the room.
Fingers adjust their hold on the pick as the office chair glides.
"I should try it again just in case." Hikari murmurs, the fingers of his other hand gliding to their positions.
Just as he is about to strum the first note, his phone blares and startles him.
Hikari fumbles with his guitar as it tries to slip from his grip. Hands catch it handily before they hit the ground. A puff of relief escapes him.
The boy sets the guitar onto his nearby bed. Then, hands drift, pick up the phone, and accept the call.
"Hello..?" He starts, quiet and awkward.
"Hika-kun! Why'd you take forever to pick up?!” An all too familiar voice cries from the other end.
He tilts his head away meekly as the abrupt cry makes his ears throb.
"Ah.. my bad, Setsuko.." he mumbles with a ducked head.
"Heeeh?! I didn't demand an apology! You just worried me for a sec!"
"...Right..."
A sigh crackles from the other end.
"Anyway, wanna meet up?"
Hikari blinks.
Checks the time.
"Now?"
"Duh. Why else would I ask?"
“..I don’t know…”
A tut rushes through his ear.
“Typical Hika-kun.. anyways, usual spot.”
“Ah.. okay… um.. see you?”
“See ya then!”
The line goes quiet as the call ends. He’s left to stare at his reflection in the laptop’s screensaver.
Guess that’s that.
Hikari stands and fixes up his clothes in the mirror. The teenager then strides for the guitar resting on his bed. Unsteady hands pick it up carefully and slide it into its case. He zips it up and slings the strap over a shoulder, while sliding his guitar pick into his pocket.
Hikari is careful when he heads downstairs. Socked feet avoid any of the areas on the steps that let out creaks as they tiptoe.
He peers slowly around the corner, ensuring his father is busy. Once his hooded eyes skim easily and reassure, he goes for the door. Footsteps are inaudible; breaths are forced into light intakes to make no sound.
Hikari carefully twists the knob and slips out. A gloved hand gently closes the door behind him. Its click is impossibly quiet.
The teen exhales shakily, shoulders sagging. His eyes shut for a moment, then reopened. Twisting on the balls of his heels, he continues his way to Shibuya Square.
The walk is long; the weather is simple. The feeling of the breeze combing through unruly hair soothes him as he strides along in muted footsteps. Despite his shoes being in poor condition, he can move without sound.
Hikari’s hooded eyes shift carefully as his surroundings grow busier, the sound of liveliness swirling into his ears. He adjusts his hold on the case strap and braces himself. He would be lying if he tried saying he was fond of bustling crowds.
With narrowed eyes, he sets foot in the rushing activity of Shibuya Square. Head lowered and shoulders hunched, he moves along with evident haste. Unfortunately for him, apologies had to be spurred due to constant, unintentional collisions.
It takes a while to catch a breather in the designated corner he found comfort in.
Hikari lets out a sharp breath as he sits on the curb and waits. Fingers nimbly pry out his wired headphones and hook them into his ears. He plugs it into his phone and opens the music app, playing a Hatsune Miku song he found a bit too addictive lately.
Hikari drifts into his own little world, knees brought to his chest as he watches interactions from afar. Loneliness wasn’t jarring to him at this point— in fact, he rather prefers it more than having to smile and talk awkwardly.
If it were up to him, he would stay this way forever.
Maybe in his own little world where he could sing his feelings and—
No. That would completely erase the point of embracing music.
But…
A tap on his shoulder jolts him out of his thoughts.
Gray eyes snap to whoever disrupted him tensely before he relaxes in recognition.
He pauses the music and pulls out an earphone.
“You should work on your facial expressions. When I approached you, you looked like you were taking a big, fat sh—”
Hikari sighs.
“Hello, Setsuko.”
She grins back with sparkling green eyes.
“Hika-kun! Did you miss me?” She returns in a small, melodic manner as she swings an arm over his shoulders with a crouch.
He blinks slowly.
“We saw each other yesterday…”
Setsuko pouts.
“Is that a no?”
“…”
She huffs and purses her lips into a scowl.
“How cruel of you, Hika-kun!”
“…sorry?”
She grumbles, strawberry blonde hair swaying as she pinches his cheek and stretches it painfully.
“Sorry won’t cut it, you jerk!”
“O-ow?!”
Setsuko has her share of torment before pulling away with a smug grin.
“You deserved it.”
“A-aren’t you supposed to say you miss someone after a long period of time, though?” Hikari asks, brows twitching in ridicule and confusion.
“…no?” Setsuko replies, a little dumbfounded yet expectant, “You really need to work on your social cues, Hika-kun…”
Hikari shrugs, not bothering to respond.
Setsuko pats his shoulder before standing with a stretch.
Her hands fall to her hips as she flashes a grin at him.
“C’mon! We’ve got business to take care of!”
“…right…”
Hikari rolls his headphones up with precision before shoving them into a pocket. He gets to his feet, adjusts the straps of his case, and follows.
~𝅘𝅥𝅮~𝅘𝅥𝅮~𝅘𝅥𝅮~𝅘𝅥𝅮~𝅘𝅥𝅮~
“Hah?! What do you mean by incompetent?!” Setsuko exclaims in a bristle.
The bandmate sighs.
“He froze up on stage. And all his notes were off. I’d let you into our band but not him.”
“Tch..!”
Setsuko glowers, face pinched in irritation. Her bangs shift slightly before she brushes them back and glances at Hikari. His face is slack, eyes blank.
She knows he’s a good musician in the making; he's just— different.
“Give him a chance, he just needs time and—”
The bandmate shakes his head.
“I told you, we’re in a tight spot and can’t waste time.”
Setsuko grimaces, brows furrowed deeply.
Hikari clutches his guitar, throat tight, heart heavy and eyes lowered.
“If you’re not going to let him join, then I won’t join!” She declares, making Hikari’s eyes shift guiltily.
Another bandmate scoffs.
“Whatever. Your loss. Don’t know why you’re wasting time with this talentless one.”
The first bandmate nudges him warningly.
“Watch your mouth..!”
Setsuko shakes her head, clearly agitated.
“No. Don’t bother! We’re leaving!”
She grabs her partner’s arm and drags him along, fuming as they leave the livehouse.
Hikari eventually turns and walks by himself, hunched in and wary.
Heavy silence stretches over the two. The sun sets above them, casting a warm hue onto their figures. One straightened and furious, the other slouched and more sullen than usual.
Setsuko finally lets out a heavy sigh, letting go of Hikari’s arm, a little defeated.
“This is the fifth one this week…” she murmurs between gritted teeth.
Hikari chews on his lip, sagging even further, hand on his other arm.
“Sorry. It’s my fault.” He mumbles.
She softens. Shakes her head.
“Oh.. oh no. It’s not you…” she begins.
Hikari glances at her warily.
“But I’m always the problem every time we try… at this rate..”
A defeated noise leaves him, brows dipped and eyes curved.
“Hika-kun…” Setsuko musters with a sorrowful expression.
Her eyes flicker thoughtfully before she settles on her idea with determination.
“Forget them! We’ll form our own band!” She declares, her emerald green eyes reflecting the dimming sunlight.
“Our… own?”
She nods.
Hikari recalls the constant criticism from every band they have tried, then hesitantly glances at his friend.
“Don’t look at me like that! You’re good, and you know it!”
He purses his lips.
“Am I really…?”
Setsuko nods insistently.
“And even though you don’t believe it, I’ll make you see it. Just you wait!”
His eyes soften ever so slightly.
“Setsuko..”
I really don’t deserve you… sacrificing your chances for my sake… He thinks, a ghost of a smile resting on his lips.
Setsuko lets out a ‘humph’ in satisfaction, her long strands of hair bouncing along with her triumph.
“Now c’mon, I’m hungry!”
“Ah.. okay.”
She links her arm with his, which he returns awkwardly as they start their way down the darkening streets.
In the midst of it all, he feels minor relief. Small, yet genuine emotion means so much to him. He falls behind Setsuko in step, lost in his cranking mind until—
A small tune wafts into his ears, making him pause.
One familiar and oh so nostalgic, yet he can’t quite place his finger on what it is. Brows furrowed, he feels his pockets for his phone, which vibrates as the faint music continues. Hikari pulls it out, puzzled by the name.
“…Untitled..?” He murmurs.
He doesn’t recall leaving his music app playing. He’s sure he paused it. So why…? And how?
Since when was there a song in his playlist called Untitled anyway?
“Hika-kun? You okay?” Setsuko inquires, snapping him from the mystery.
He blinks a handful of times before managing a nod.
“.. yeah..” He responds, thumb hastily pressing pause before he catches up.
Setsuko stares at him for a moment, head tilted, eyes carefully analyzing.
She then nods.
“Then c’mon, silly! The food ain’t waiting!”
They round the corner to Setsuko’s favorite little shop, owned by an old man. Hikari follows, yet his mind remains hung up on the song.
…I’m probably just overthinking it… he attempts to convince himself.
Despite that belief, it continues to nag him until he and Setsuko split for the night; her goodbye is cheery, and his is quiet.
Hikari follows the same procedure on his way home, silent and careful as he arrives, enters, slips off his shoes, and tiptoes up the stairs to his room. He’s quiet as he closes the door with a faint ‘click!’
Hikari exhales, shoulders sagging slightly. One of the straps on the guitar case slides down, allowing him to shrug it off and gently set it aside.
He then flops onto his bed with a minor bounce.
Eyes drift to stare at the ceiling momentarily, before he caves into his curiosity and pulls out his phone.
Swiping through, he finds the song labeled Untitled.
He really doesn’t know what he was expecting when he hit play. Strangely enough, no tune emits from the speakers.
So he was imagining things.
The moment the phone is set down on the mattress, it begins flashing, startling the teen.
“…what the…?”
The light blinds his sensitive eyes, forcing them shut as he shields himself with a slight grunt.
~???~
His body tingles, and when he blinks his eyes open once more, he’s someplace else.
Taken aback, he glances around.
A maze..? He wonders.
Hikari’s brows furrow.
I was in my room moments ago, though… Did I fall asleep or something?
Cautiously does he splay a hand over the nearby stony wall. It feels real, cold, and bumpy underneath his fingertips. Faint cracks seep through it, simple yet profound. The area is dimly lit by lanterns with warm, flickering hues. It’s almost ominous, yet it clashes with the feeling of being strangely comforting.
Hikari’s lips tug downwards slightly. Tracing the wall as he walks in hopes of finding something else, it remains the same. The maze of corridors seemed endless. Cold.
“Reminds me of a labyrinth..” he mumbles to himself as echoing footsteps come to a halt.
As dumb as the next idea is, he follows through with it.
“Hello?” He calls, wincing at the echo that dissipates slowly.
Hikari sighs.
“This is pointless.. I don’t even know how..”
His agitated mumbling is cut off with that nostalgic tune he had heard the first time. His eyes widen ever so slightly, brows raised.
It’s almost hypnotic; the way his feet begin to drag forward against the cold, uneven, cracked tiles, towards that melody.
It frustrates him that he cannot recall what it reminded him of. Despite it all, he continued to walk mindlessly yet hesitantly.
His chest aches with each note, throat tight until—
People…
Hikari pauses, glancing at his surroundings. It’s a part of the endless maze: a circular region filled with cracks and torches. A few objects and stone craftings scatter the place as well. Then his eyes take in the two people forming the melody.
One is a girl with puffy, teal ponytails and buns, strange linings tracing her skin in a way that imitates cracks. Her clothes are rather stylish, and her eyes are mismatched. She plays an electric keyboard quite elegantly. The other is a boy with blonde hair, a little dull, its ends tinted black. The same patterns litter his skin, eyes hooded, and his own clothes, an intriguing, eye-catching combination. His fingers are nimble as they play the guitar.
The music abruptly stops as Hikari analyzes the last of them. It is then he registers they are staring at him.
He cringes internally and waves awkwardly. Then, he mentally curses himself for doing what he did.
“Ah.. Hikari. We’ve been waiting.” Says the boy with an ominous tilt of his head. His voice is empty— robotic, even.
Wait… how does he know my name?! Wait— wait a damn minute…
“Kagamine.. Len?” He chokes out, baffled.
Though his face strains to show it properly, it is still quite intelligible.
Gray eyes flick to the girl.
“H-Hatsune Miku?”
Miku smiles.
“Hello.” She greets with a quick dip of her head.
He gawks, brows twitching.
“I.. I’m dreaming…” he musters shakily, forgetting what had drawn him here in the first place from shock.
“Not really.” Len supplies quite blankly.
Hikari tries to shake himself out of his disbelief. He grips his shirt, mouth opening and closing.
“Th-this…”
“It’s your SEKAI.” The male VOCALOID states bluntly, as if Hikari already knew what it was.
“H-”
“A place born from your feelings.”
Miku laughs a little awkwardly.
“Len.. give him a chance to process this…” she suggests.
“..but it’s straightforward, no?”
Miku sighs.
Hikari stares as if his eyes would pop out any moment. It takes him a while to finally come to terms with something quite impossible. He tilts his head, face pinched in slight disbelief and doubt.
“So… I came here by playing Untitled…?” He manages.
Miku nods. Len crosses his arms over his chest.
“You can return to your world by pausing it!” She chimes with the emphasis of her finger.
I still… I can't believe I’m talking to VOCALOID… this is definitely a dream… Hikari concludes warily.
“I don’t really get what this is for…” He admits shamefully.
“Then leave.” Len deadpans, making Miku shoot him a scolding look.
“Len! We went over this! Be nice!”
“I am…”
Miku purses her lips, then huffs.
“It’s.. It’s okay. Don’t worry so much, I… I don’t really mind.” Hikari cuts in meekly, raising a hand.
The VOCALOID frowns.
“But still…”
“Come back later.” Len interrupts, face blank.
Miku and Hikari look at him in unison with confused expressions.
“My only purpose is to help you find your true feelings. You clearly have lost sight of what you aim for.” He continues.
Hikari tenses.
“..what..?”
“Len…”
“No, Miku. It’s the truth.”
Len’s blank eyes meet Hikari’s complex ones.
“I can see right through you.”
That declaration splits the teen open, leaving him wide-eyed and shaky, all noise silent.
Suddenly, those eyes seem too intimidating, and Hikari feels himself spiral and spiral and—
White blinds him.
And he finds himself back in his room, breathless.
His blurred vision eases, and the teen musters a swallow.
He exhales weakly and buries his face in trembling hands.
“…just a dream…” he chokes out.
Hikari fists his hair and squeezes his eyes shut before reopening them.
“Just a dream,” Hikari repeats more firmly to convince himself.
Even as Hikari wakes his laptop and resumes his previous composing, he feels heavy.
Despite it being a dream, it bothers him and will continue to do so until it drives him mad.