Work Text:
Sometimes, people describe love like something that was inevitable. Like it was planned out beforehand.
Other times people talk about it like it’s something that you choose for yourself. Something too personal to be explained by fate.
Well whether it was divine intervention or a natural thing he chose for himself, Semi knew the moment that the first year setter with terrible bangs and attitude walked through those gym doors, he was absolutely, undoubtedly, fucked.
Mostly because he had been in the middle of declaring “I WILL NOT BE LOSING MY STARTING SPOT AS SETTER ON THIS TEAM TO SOME FUCKING FETUS WHO WALKS THOUGH THESE DOORS.”
In his defense, he had worked hard for his spot. He went through an entire year fighting for a chance to start as setter and their dear coach came in and said to Semi “by the way there’s a new first year who’s also a setter so you have to fight him for your position too!” Of course he was going to be thrown off!
A first year student stood at the entrance of the gym, took one good look at Semi and walked the other way.
“I think that was the ‘fetus’ you were talking about Semi-Semi”
“Clearly.”
—
The terrible beginning led to even worse suffering between the two of them with most conversations sounding like the most forced and unwilling conversation the world has witnessed (“um. Nice.” “okay”) or just a screaming match. He just couldn’t find a way to start a proper and civil conversation without sounding weird.
What he did find out was that his name was Shirabu Kenjiro, a first year setter who had gotten in without a sports scholarship and that also, was an extremely petty, passive-aggressive asshole who held grudges very, very strongly.
He’d tried approaching him, annoying him and talking to him, for what?
Maybe he wanted an excuse to talk to the guy! Semi did apologise but it was met with an “ok.” that had an amount of malice that should be physically impossible. It didn’t particularly sit with him well the thought of fucking up a possible bond because of his temper.
Maybe it was more than that. What he said wasn’t false, just not the entire truth. Maybe fixating on how to not be hated by the guy made him lose his mind for him or something but if that was the case then Semi realised he didn’t particularly mind. But once Semi saw the way Shirabu looked at the unyielding, powerful force that was Ushijima Wakatoshi, he knew he lost the war that never started.
So yes, in more ways than one, Semi Eita was absolutely, undoubtedly, fucked from the very start and with no other option than to accept defeat, he prompted to just stay out of reach. Always around, hovering yet never close enough. He convinced himself he could live with this, accept just being on the sidelines as he watched Shirabu watch someone else. Instead choosing to show care in the most insufferable way possible. Shirabu was smart. He’d figure it out even if he didn’t want it, right? How stupid could he be?
—
Where was he?
Shirabu wasn’t at dinner. There was something obviously wrong. Semi couldn’t stop his leg from bouncing the more he thought about it and the more he tried to convince himself that it wasn't his problem.
“Semi-semi, you know I can basically feel your gay concern from here. If you’re that worried about dear old Shirabu then go and check on him.”
Semi turned to face Tendou with his redstone block coloured hair and wondered why he ever became his best friend.
“First of all, I don’t want to hear that from the same guy who talked to me only about Ushijima Wakatoshi for a week before getting your shit together. Second of all, fuck you I was literally about to.” He said now standing up, already making his way through the dining hall.
“No you weren’t!” Tendou called from the table.
Semi flipped him off and ran to the gym.
—
He slid the doors open to reveal the second year alone, practicing sets like his life depended on it. A swift flick of the wrists before quickly looking back to judge if the set was satisfactory then repeating.
More times than not, Shirabu would look back and scowl even further, sometimes even groaning in frustration occasionally, yet never stopping. He kept going set after set, only to be met with even more annoyance.
At this rate he’s going to self-destruct before interhigh even starts-
“You know, your frustration won’t help you improve. Take a break.”
His voice rang out before he could think. The silhouette stilled mid-toss before speaking.
“What do you care? Shouldn’t you be hoping for me to self-destruct, Semi-san?”
No. I wouldn’t. Is that the kind of image I give? He thought to himself.
“Even if we’re competing for the same spot, we’re still on the same team. I don’t want you dragging down the performance-”
Shirabu finally turned with a glare.
“-but I’m also your senior. I don’t want my kouhai overworking themselves.”
He walked closer so he wouldn’t have to yell across the gym. Shirabu’s eye twitched in annoyance.
Wow, okay what the fuck did I do though?
“Well thanks for your concern but I’m not a child. I can look after myself.”
Shirabu moved closer as if to punctuate his argument.
For a gym this big, this was far too close. Too close for the distance that Semi had purposely put between them, closer than he could get before. Closer than watching from a bench, that was for sure. The selfish part of his brain wanted them to stay like this forever. Close. Closer than they should be. The rational part of his brain wished it were under different circumstances. Wished it wasn’t because the boy in front of him was petty as fuck.
Semi subconsciously grabbed his shoulders and shook him, trying to get Shirabu to see his point.
“Why can’t you just take the fucking help given to you?”
Shirabu’s anger rose visibly.
“Because I don’t need it, Semi-san. I know my limits painfully well, better than you surely, so you can leave me the fuck alone!”
Ouch.
He let go slowly and let his arms drop back to his sides.
Why, on god’s green earth, did he decide that interfering was a good idea? Why did he think grabbing him was a good idea? Why was that his first response? Well, fuck if he knows!
Both stood there, still unable to move away from the moment until the gym door rattled again, startling both setters.
“Uh, you know that practice ended like, an hour ago, right?”
Taichi called from outside, Shirabu only stared at him coldly.
“Right…”
He pushed away and left immediately, leaving Semi alone in the gym, with his thoughts and the court to pack away.
—
from semi 5:29 pm
is he ok
did i fuck up
taichi
DID I PUSH TOO HRD
HARD
TAICHI
OH MY GOD DOES HE HATE ME
or at least more than he does now
@taichi
@taichi
ANSRE
ok above all is he alright
pls i need to know i wasnt that much of an asshole
taichi 5:35 pm
hes ok semi san
read 5:36 pm
—
“I can’t believe you actually got me to check on him, this is your fault Tendou.”
Tendou looked up from the week's issue of Shonen Jump and stared at him.
“You said you were just about to when you left.”
“But you said that I wasn’t going to?”
“Oh please Semi-semi, I don’t know you as well as you do!”
Fucking Tendou Satori and his stupid fucking logic that always made sense in his favor.
Semi’s groan was muffled in his pillow.
“Really, I fucked up for sure.”
“Hemi-demi-semi, you called him a, and I quote, a ‘fucking fetus’, when you first met him, I don’t think it could get worse than that.”
Semi cringes at the memory.
But it could, he thinks even though it really couldn’t have been that bad, right?
Surely not. Obviously.
Tendou was a… weird guy but he meant well. A trustworthy person. For now, he’d trust in Tendou that he didn’t ultimately ruin his love life permanently and instead focus on not failing history.
—
Practice came around and Semi had already decided that he would apologise to Shirabu if he did make him uncomfortable the other day. Taichi did say that he was fine and that Semi didn’t need to worry but he was still very much worried.
They started stretching and warm up but Shirabu looked… off?
Like he was there in the room, physically, but mentally he was off elsewhere.
The practice started off with free serving and Semi’s theory was only proved correct when a serve was coming his way. He instinctively yelled “HEADS, HEADS-” but to no avail. It didn't reach him in time before-
Shirabu was (not very gracefully) hit in the head with a serve. The worst part was he didn’t even look to glare at whoever served that ball, he just stood there, looking at the air in front of him. That was concerning. Very concerning
Semi took a step first but for some reason Tendou was already there? Semi couldn’t hear the conversation but Tendou looked so fucking jubious and smug at the same time it was disconcerting. After Shirabu said something else that he couldn’t hear, Tendou replied and kicked him out of the gym.
What.
—
“Satori what the fuck was that.”
The asphalt crunched beneath their feet on the way back to the Shiratorizawa dorms.
“What was what, Eita-kun?”
“Y’know! The thing?”
He makes some sort of obnoxious gesture trying to convey through hand signs with absolutely nothing to do with what he meant. It didn’t really matter, Tendou was a guesswork god.
“Ohhhh Shirabu? He’s sick.”
“Since when?!”
“Since today!”
Tendou skipped way too joyously for a person who told their best friend that their crush was sick and festering.
“How the fuck though-”
“It’ll allllll make sense later, Eita-kun. Just have some patience will you?
—
Stuck in a dorm with absolutely nothing to do is quite the experience.
Semi could do his math homework that had been sitting perfectly untouched on his desk but absolutely fucking not.
So here he was. Staring at the white ceiling like an absolute loser
I wonder how Shirabu’s holding up against his sickness…
The thought crossed his mind unannounced and completely uncalled for. He didn’t even have anything to do with the second year to begin with! And as much as he’d like to, he wouldn’t stand a chance.
Shirabu was already pining for someone, despite the someone already having an interest in someone else (how Tendou and Ushijima ended up working, was somehow not as surprising as people expected) but when has that ever been enough to stop feelings? (Semi knew a lot on that)
Halfway through his pity party, his phone buzzed next to his head.
—
taichi 6:44 pm
hey
the little shit is sick
can you watch the thing
read 6:44pm
–
What.
–
From semi 6:46 pm
arent you his roommate tho….??
taichi 6:47 pm
um
actually i have to attend my lobsters funeral
been with me all my life
basically raised me
From semi 6:47 pm
????
lobster??????
taichi 6:48 pm
yes
very sad i know
so its your time to shine senpai
i leave the ruler bangs in your care
byebye
From semi 6:48 pm
I DIDNT AGREE TO THIS??????
taichi 6:48 pm
but you would right
From semi 6:48 pm
…
taichi 6:49 pm
exactly
pick up some cough medicine too btw we out of it
From semi 6:49 pm
i hate you
taichi 6:49 pm
youre welcome semi san
read 6:49pm
—
“Tendou, I'm going out.”
“Oh? For what?”
“Medicine apparently”
Tendou grins
“Have fun with your love life”
“Fuck off”
—
After running (yes, actually sprinting) to the pharmacy and the convenience store for quick food, he arrived in front of the door number that Taichi had texted him a few minutes after he left.
He slammed the (unlocked. Unlocked?! That’s a fucking hazard what the fuck Taichi) door open.
“Shirabu-”
The said person was currently face down on the floor.
“-oh shit, are you good?”
There’s a sound that sounds half like a groan and a whole lot like a cry for fucking help. He pulled himself back onto his bed before replying.
“No, I still feel like shit, thanks for asking.”
So apparently the sickness didn’t take away his attitude huh?
“Took you long enough, asshole”
“I didn’t even take that long?! What could you have possibly done in the 10 minutes it took for me to get here?”
“I could’ve died.”
“Died??”
“Absolutely”
The door clicked shut softly.
“Well, I got medicine and- wait have you eaten anything? Because I have food for that just in case.”
Shirabu looked terribly surprised. Shit, that was kinda cute.
“I am starved and in desperate need of consumption.”
“Right, right.”
He handed over the store bought soup he grabbed.
“Thanks…”
“All good.”
Several minutes passed in comfortable silence. It was nice like this, Semi thought. When they don’t have to scream and yell at each other. He looked over at Shirabu and wished this peace could last forever.
“Why are you so nice now?”
“What-?”
Was he seriously mean enough for Shirabu to believe he was a bad guy?!
“I dunno… you’d usually have poked at my terrible state at least 3 times by now.”
Well… Semi 2 years ago definitely would have but now? Okay, maybe he would, but this instant? He wouldn’t. He was too busy trying not to think about the fact he was with Shirabu alone and oh god he was thinking about it now-
“Uh… sympathy…?”
THEY WERE ALONE. TOGETHER- NO SEMI. YOU HAVE A JOB.
(I know what you’re all thinking. No he does not mean that. You dirty minded freaks (me too))
Semi coughed awkwardly.
“How did you get sick anyways? You didn’t do anything right?”
“Well I didn’t. Except the all-nighter. Might’ve been that-”
Or the fact you were practicing your ass off in WINTER. With the door WIDE OPEN.
“-Oh, but Tendou-san said something like ‘oh you realised you were gay as fuck for your senior huh.”
…
WHAT.
“WHAT THE FUCK?! He said that?”
“Not in that exact wording obviously. Just shoving in my face again that ‘You like Semi-san and you are literally the last person to find out.’ ”
Semi half considered waving a huge sign saying “I AM HERE. I RECIPROCATE.”
He would laugh at Shirabu’s terrible Tendou impression but he was too busy with the new piece of information that he could not think of anything but “you like Semi-san”.
That did not sound like Ushijima.
Definitely not.
Was this a roundabout way of soft launching a confession?!
“Dude, you good?”
Shirabu looked at him worriedly, like he was the sick one.
“Yep… just… keep going.”
Little did Shirabu know, Semi was 3 seconds away from a heart attack.
“I dunno how I didn’t even realise bro like. The face card he holds is actually lethal-”
No fucking way.
“-Genuinely could be sent to federal prison for that. But he’s actually nice too?? What kind of insane combo is that-??”
NO FUCKING WAY…
“-Genuinely, how many people got nerfed for the sake of someone like him to exist. I feel like an idiot.”
This is it. This is how Semi Eita dies. To the words of Shirabu Kenjiro that make him feel like the most special person on this fucking planet.
But he needed to be NONCHALANT. He had to be freaking… I dunno, cool about it? But in a good way???
“Wow… down bad.”
He prays Shirabu does not notice how his voice almost cracks at the end for he is far worse than him.
“I knowwwww stop reminding me. But am I wrong? Like, this guy is actually so insanely maxxed out in almost every field it’s unreal. How does one manage to pull someone like that?! I don’t think it’s possible. I dunno, I like him a lot, so I don’t wanna fuck things up. But how do I do that?”
BE YOURSELF. I LOVE YOU ALREADY.
“Maybe have more faith in yourself…?”
Shirabu scoffed.
“Be real. The only thing I have going for me are my grades and you don’t seduce anyone by reciting the quadratic formula.”
Semi actually laughed. Genuinely cackled. It rang through the silence making him feel a bit too big for the room.
Shirabu stared.
It was almost unnerving how undivided his attention was but Semi knew, even if he was capable of looking away from those eyes there was no one who could physically make him.
“You wanna know more about my fatass crush on this asshole?”
Fuck. Yes.
“Sure.”
“Okay, so also get this…”
The night went on, one that Semi hoped would never end. He found out that
1) Shirabu absolutely loathed this one person in his class who would not shut up-
2) Shirabu came to Shiratorizawa to play with Ushijima (but to be honest who wouldn’t want to play with him on their team) and realised that he was gay because of it but most importantly,
3) He was pretty sure Shirabu did in fact like Semi Eita
God he was so fucked.
—
A few days passed and Shirabu was fine again.
He decided to check again anyway because what hurt does that do?
“Hey, Shirabu!”
He halted to a stop in front of him to watch the younger setter turn with his usual calculated look.
“Do you need something, Semi-san?”
“I was just wondering if you’d fully recovered from being sick.”
“I’m fine, thanks though. Taichi put up with my sickness for once so that was nice.”
Wait… what?
“Taichi took care of you…?”
“Yes? Is that a surprise?”
Hold on a fucking second.
“Um…! No! That’s- That’s fine! That’s cool! Yeah… cool…”
“Ok…?”
And so Semi walks away with several new pieces of information.
4) Shirabu was sick to the point where he couldn’t tell him and Taichi fucking Kawanishi apart (no hate to Taichi)
5) It might’ve been a lie. He might not have meant it at all and Semi was an idiot.
—
The entire practice was the most painful and mentally tolling since he was now deadset on avoiding Shirabu. Obviously the guy noticed something was up and tried to approach him.
“Hey, Semi-san-”
The world fucking slowed. He looked to the gods, any higher being out there, Tendou-
They made eye contact.
What’s up, Semi-semi?
Save. Me
Why? I thought you liked Shira-shira.
JUST PLEASE.
You owe me
FINE, WHATEVER, JUST HELP
“Semi-semi~! Can you come over here for a second?”
Thank Tendou Satori.
Without a second thought he sprinted across the entire fucking hall to avoid the second year.
Semi did feel bad leaving Shirabu on heard but he was NOT going to talk to him. He was NOT.
“So, Eita-kun, what happened now?”
“Found out that he didn’t even know it was me who was there and to mistake me for Taichi is another level of delirious so he possibly? Probably? Didn’t even mean what he said?? And on top of that who basically confesses and doesn’t even remember that they did? Maybe I’m pissed over nothing but I’m still kinda annoyed about it.”
Tendou had a hand over his mouth as if he was watching a soap opera and a huge plot twist just took place.
“Damn. That’s rough buddy.”
Nevermind, never thank Tendou Satori.
—
After free serving, Shirabu went up to Semi again.
“Semi-san, can I ask--”
Tendou was talking to Ushijima (fucking gay) so he was left with no other option.
Talk to him like a normal person? The rational side of his brain asked.
No. Look ahead and ignore like an asshole.
Semi resolutely did NOT look at Shirabu ONCE while walking past.
This is a terrible plan. He reminded himself.
He ignored his reminder.
—
“I just don’t know what I did!”
“Maybe you didn’t do anything and he just needs to sort himself out first before he talks to you.”
Ushijima speaks up next to Tendou,
“I don’t believe I’m informed on the situation.”
The ground beneath them crunched satisfyingly as they trudged back to the dorms
“I’m trying to get Eita-kun to see that his thing with Shirabu is actually not unrequited and that he has a shot.”
“Ah, I see. Best wishes to you, Eita”
“Thank you, Wakatoshi but like-”
His phone buzzed and Semi almost gave himself whiplash trying to see who it was. He could faintly hear Tendou saying “damn dude. You don’t even reply to me that fast”.
–
taichi 5:38 pm
have mercy on the idiot
but mostly for my sake because i dont want him to explode our room
goodluck
read 5:38 pm
From semi 5:38 pm
????
explain????
read 5:38 pm
–
“What.”
“‘What’ what Eita, talk to me dude.”
He flips his phone to show Tendou and Ushijima.
“What does this mean Satori.”
The fucker grins
“You’re gonna have a great fucking night Eita-kun”
From a distance he hears someone yell
“SEMI-SAN.”
The voice is definitely and unmistakably Shirabu.
So this is what Taichi fucking meant.
“That’s our cue Wakatoshi-kun. We’ll leave you alone Eita, have fun!”
The second year stops in front of him and gets straight (ha) to business.
“When I was sick, that was you taking care of me, right?”
Shit.
This is the time where Shirabu says that he didn’t really mean what he said because come on, I was sick, did you really think that?
Semi is not a masochist. He doesn’t want to sit through that, doesn’t want to laugh and say of course I didn’t, I assumed that from the beginning.
Because he really didn’t. He really believed what Shirabu said that night, or wanted to anyway. What was wrong with wanting a fantasy?
He needed to get out of this situation, as quickly as possible, preferably yet when he looked for one, contact drew his attention back to the person in front of him.
Shirabu had grabbed his hand, keeping him there. Whether he planned to paralyze him with the shock or pull him back if he tried to run, it was definitely working.
Semi knew he couldn’t escape this. He was trapped.
Time to face this shit head on.
“So what if it was me…?”
A beat
“Then…”
Shirabu moved closer, encasing Semi’s hand with both of his.
“...Can I mean what I said when I was sick and delirious?”
The words immediately made him look at Shirabu and Shirabu looked back.
Once again, Semi was absolutely drowning in those brown eyes, not caring if he couldn’t come up for oxygen (he doesn’t think he would).
Instead, he takes a step closer and drops his head on Shirabu’s.
“Even when you said ‘The face card he holds is actually lethal. Genuinely could be sent to federal prison for that’?” He asks
Shirabu nods.
“Everything I said.”
Semi lets out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding and does the first thing that he thinks he should. Give Shirabu a proper hug.
“I’ve been waiting for you to mean those words for way too long now. Even just for you to think of them,"
“Yeah… I think I have too. I can’t change how long it took, but I’m here now if you’ll have me…?”
His reply was immediate.
“You’re insane if you think I won’t.”