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When Mr Aizawa mentions a special training camp for the hero course, Kaminari is worried.
not partially because of the risk of the League of Villains finding them, he knows he's safe from that.
He's worried because he knows that what inevitably comes will be because of him.
He knows it's his fault even when he calls to set up a meeting with All for One.
He knows it's his fault when it all ends, and he has to swallow away the feeling of sickness crawling up into his mouth.
That doesn't stop Denki Kaminari from betraying the ones he's closest to, though.
____________
"A training camp not long after our first attack, huh? They really must be wanting to get attacked again, how foolish." Tomura breaks the silence
"That just makes it even easier for you guys." Denki remarks.
"It very much does," All for One says. "Denki, I want you to gather as much information about it as possible."
Denki freezes. At that moment, he remembers his words,
"Refuse cooperation, and you know what will happen. I suggest you think wisely."
"Of course, Sir," Denki replies.
This isn't right on so many levels. He knows that. It makes it so much more disgusting. He's horrible, filthy, a traitor.
"Now, surely you have somewhere to be." code for get the hell out of here, we are done for now.
He does just that.
It will be all his fault.
a traitor.
he feels sick.
____________
Denki recalls a moment in his childhood, the day he found him.
His quirk had just manifested,
his parents did not survive.
Such a terrible ending for his family, it was.
Sometimes, it comes to him in a dream. a recurring reminder that his quirk is dangerous, he is dangerous.
He remembers All for one holding out his hand the night it happened, Denki was looking for a hero to help him. Instead, he sealed his fate right then and there. right when he decided to take that hand.
the fate of a horrible, disgusting traitor.
"Hero's are not people you can trust." he told him the night he was helped. he should've run that night. far. so very far away that no source of life can find him. before it was made official. before he was adopted, before his record was wiped clean. Before his parents names were left out. before those words became his only truth.
Hero's are not people you can trust.
Those words were his only truth when he was all alone. The only thing he and Tomura agreed on.
____________
"I want that Bakugou kid." was the first thing Tomura said when he saw him
I doubt that will work in your favor, dude." Denki snorted out.
"Are you questioning my power?!"
"Not at all. I want him gone as much as the next guy. But like... he's got a pretty fiery personality, huge All Might fan-boy, even if he doesn't show it in front of others. He'll probably blow every member of the league's head off the second anyone opens their mouths."
"How about you shut your mouth. I'll capture that kid, and then he will learn hero society is all lies."
"Yeah, sure bro, good luck with that. good luck getting out with your head intact."
"I'm done with your stupid blabbering about some no-good wannabe hero. I'm leaving, bye."
"Try not to kill some random villain in the halls out there." Denki doesn't look to see if Tomura gave him a death glare after he said that. he really doesn't care.
And now, he's stuck in uncomfortable silence with All For One.
"Don't you think this whole thing is kinda a bad idea?" Denki asks
"Whatever do you mean, Denki?" He asks
He tries to control the flinch that comes to him with how he says his name. Gosh, he will never get used to the way All for One says it. like looking down onto a child with pity because he truly, wholeheartedly believes it's foolish for having the audacity to question the morals of him.
"Uhm... I dunno..." he grabs a hold of his hair and starts twirling it around his fingers. "I just kinda have a...bad feeling about this whole thing..." he kicks his foot back and forth on the ground. just spit it out, Kaminari. "I...I'm not trying to question how you do things, but... don't you think UA will find out there is a traitor in their midst if stuff like this keeps happening?"
"Hm. Of course, I have never denied that possibility. But I do trust you. I am certain you know what you should do should that situation come up." he brings his hand up to Denki's shoulder and rests it there. he wonders if it's supposed to be reassuring because Denki instead feels like his prey. he cannot see All For One's face, but he feels like he's being looked down on. He feels as if he moves an inch, he will no longer be of this world. long gone and nowhere to be found.
"Now, how about you go check on your brother and make sure he has not done anything reckless?"
"Yes... of course, sir" he tries not to get out of there too fast, not too trip over his own feet, and not too throw the door open too fast.
He does not check up on Tomura. Denki Kaminari has no family, they all died in the tragic incident that was his quirk manifesting.
____________
Denki recalls the night he was taken in. the night all the endless papers were officially signed and the day his identity was changed.
"Tomura, this is Denki. As of today, he is your brother. He might be younger than you, but I do hope he can teach you some things."
"I don't like him." the older one responded harshly.
____________
He and Tomura never got along.
After he was brought home and situated in a shared room with him, Tomura started a fistfight with him.
And that night, Denki cried so loud and so hard until he could not cry anymore.
All Tomura had to say to him was that nothing would be the same again, that he should get used to it.
That's when Denki realized they would never get along.
____________
Denki learned early that Tomura's tantrums would be a problem. If he didn't get his way, he would start destroying everything in sight. He then learned that as long as he let Tomura get whatever he wanted, the tantrums would end early.
So he played by Tomura's rules.
even when Denki was four and started a new school, and Tomura was angry at Denki for having a 'normal life.'
Even when Denki turned ten and All for One announced that Denki would be getting special combat training with a very well-known villain, and Tomura threw a glass vase at Denkis head because he was being 'favored' by All for One.
Even when Denki was fourteen and All for One told him he would infiltrate UA to aid him in defeating All-Might, and Tomura believed it was unfair that Denki had such an important role in aiding with the number one's downfall, so he threw Denki to the ground and started choking him.
'Just get used to it'
he wishes he turned away from All for One that day.
____________
If Denki was being so very honest, he has never believed both sides.
Heroes are inherently selfish. They save others for their own gain, and completely ignore people that they deem too 'evil' to be saved, all to feel better about themselves. They will ignore others who have quirks that they believe make them different, whilst praising the ones that have good enough quirks to get them far in life. They throw fellow heroes under the rug and shove the flashiest heroes into the spotlight to deliberately gain popularity. They will punish others they see as 'vigilantes' to be the ones in control of crime.
And worst of all, they silence anyone who dares speak against their flawed system or crack under pressure.
Villains are no better. They kill anyone who does not agree with their side, whilst boasting that Hero Society is what led them down the path they are on now. Villains hurt others for their own gain, with no remorse.
Denki is not particularly new to the world of orphanages for children to be taught to be the greatest soldiers. Nor is he particularly new to the stories of the HPSC taking in children to make the 'perfect' hero.
If you ever questioned them, both sides would try to argue that they are right, that they have a reason to do what they do, and that some sacrifices must be made for the perfect society.
But here is the thing: society will never be truly perfect when you put others in certain boxes.
But even so, Denki wonders what box he fits into.
____________
It's another late night, and he's playing some card game with Kirishima. (he won't admit that he made Kirishima play a game with him instead of studying for the next exam to get them into the camp, he wants to think of anything but that cursed camp) , and he can't help but wonder,
Who is Denki Kaminari?
"Hey Kiri, what do you think a hero really is?" dammit, Kaminari. Now he must think you're the weirdest person to ever enroll in the hero course. Who goes into a hero course not knowing what a hero is? "Wait, no. Not like that! I mean... what do you think makes someone a hero?
Kirishima shoots him a confused look behind his cards before eventually speaking, "Bro, is this your way of trying to distract me from winning?" and then he gives him a long, dramatic sigh, maybe he was a theater kid in his past life "well if that's a for real question, saving someone would definitely make you a hero!" he quickly flashes his biggest smile and manages to flex without trying to flex, "think of it man, saving someone is like... the manliest thing you can do!"
And as always, Kirishima's proud smile is as infectious as ever, and Denki can't help the wide grin he gives him in return, "Totally man, I totally get you!"
So then, what does that make me?
____________
Denki has always believed that heroes are inherently selfish, that they do it for themselves,
But they still save others, don't they?
Denki has saved others. Even if it was his friends at the USJ, because apparently, those villains didn't get the memo to separate Denki from the others and hide away until the whole thing was over. But you only saved them for yourself, didn't you?
And that's as true as true can get. He didn't want to get caught his first week at UA, so he was forced to help them, because what kid with an electricity quirk doesn't have the need to show off?
But villains hurt others for their own gain. And Denki has been doing just that. he continuously gives The League information because he's not ready to die just yet.
So that must mean he's a villain, right?
He works side by side with The League as their messenger boy in exchange for his life.
And anyway, he still hates heroes, he's only here to get All-Might killed,
...But he hates no one at UA.
When he started, he was ready to pretend to be friendly with a school full of people who are as selfish as it gets, but they aren't. And he hates that. They are caring, they help each other with anything that they can, they run errands when someone is too busy to be the one to run them, and they have established movie, game, and study nights at each other's houses. And when Denki had to explain that they cannot go to his house because he has no house his parents are too strict about late nights, they were understanding.
What makes someone a villain?
Denki has believed that killing someone would make you a villain, but Denki has never killed anyone.
right?
Would enrolling in the school of the number one hero in Japan to plan his downfall count as killing? What if it was never specified that All Might would die? Would it still be the same? Would studying his classmates and their abilities to give to All for One count as killing?
would him living with Tomura Shigaraki and the symbol of fear automatically make him a villain?
Denki knows what is right and what is wrong. He knows training your whole life to be the perfect fighter is wrong. he knows that taking the hand of the worst villain in history and trusting him is wrong. he knows killing his parents is wrong. he knows infiltrating UA and sneaking around to get classified documents is wrong. And he knows hurting his friends, when all they have ever been to him is trusting, is wrong.
But the voice in the back of his head just wants to scream
'What else am I supposed to do?! If I never went with the plans, I would die!'
Denki Kaminari has saved people, but he has also hurt people
What does that make him?
____________
Denki has never agreed with villains, but the hero killers' take on society is honestly something he doesn't really have a problem with.
He doesn't agree with the killings he's done, of course. He could never dismiss the killings of anyone, but he and Denki's view on hero society is one and the same.
And like anyone his age, he believes All Might is worthy of the title of hero.
Like any kid his age, he may have a few cards hidden away in his school bag to look back on.
And like any kid his age, he wouldn't mind being called a hero.
It disgusts him because he's not a normal teenage boy, but he still wonders what his life would be like if he had a normal life with thoughts of being a hero.
Sometimes he would be reading one of the many documents on All Might, and he would wonder, what if that was me?
What if he had millions of documents made of his achievements and of his life leading up to becoming a pro hero? What if he has saved so many people that he would be recognized left and right wherever he goes?
What if the people loved Chargebolt?
What if millions of people had cards of Chargebolt to show off to their friends, just as Denki has cards of All-Might buried in the deepest parts of his bag, away from Shigaraki and All for One and The League of Villains because he's sure he would be punished for admiring the number one, as any sane person his age.
Sometimes, more times than he would like to admit, he has fantasized about helping children when their quirk has manifested, and it has hurt others, and saving them from what he has become.
He has thought of fighting off the bad guys that have taken advantage of a young, gullible child, and telling them everything is going to be okay, that it wasn't their fault, and that it is okay to cry.
(Four-year-old Denki needed that, but no one was there to help Denki except himself)
He has fantasized about saving a child who has just started middle school from becoming the perfect idea of a fighter, and telling them that what happened to them was not okay in the slightest, and that it's okay to say no, that they have a choice, and it is okay to show emotion, because they are as human as everyone else.
(Ten-year-old Denki needed those words, but wherever he looked, there only was an ex-hero or Tomura Shigaraki telling him he should be happy he is even alive now)
He has fantasized about saving someone just going into high school for the worst villain in history, to kill the best hero in history, and having that someone be comfortable enough to confess to him their wrongdoings with no need to worry what would happen in their future, because Chargebolt is here!
(Denki has fantasized, too, about confessing to Mr Aizawa about what he has done up until now, how the USJ and the camp and his eye injury was all his fault and that the worst, most terrifying villain in history is raising someone full of so much hatred that he needs to be stopped immediately or else the world is doomed, and not worrying about what All for One or The league will do to him because the pro hero's will understand, and they will save the world, just like they always have)
But reality is harsh, and Denki Kaminari was not saved when he was four, or ten, or fourteen, nor has he confessed all his wrongdoings. And All for One is still out there, and The League is growing more and more by the day, and every weekend he meets up with All for One to give as much information just to go to a dingy, run-down apartment he bought when he was fourteen because Tomura was pissing him off, and he was done with it.
Reality is harsh, and All Might is going to die because of him, and Bakugou Katsuki will probably be killed for defying Shigaraki because Denki didn't confess all his wrongdoings at all, and the world will eventually end because All for One has been planning on it (probably ever since he was in the womb)
Chargebolt will never save anybody because Chargebolt is not real, and it's just a made-up version in Denki's mind to pretend he's a good person.
But Denki Kaminari is real,
And Denki Kaminari will be thrown into the deepest pits of jail for hurting his classmates while he called them his friends, and when Denki Kaminari dies, All for One will drag him into the deepest pits of hell because how dare he hide All Might cards in the deepest parts of his bag when he should've only wanted him dead.
Denki Kaminari was born with no memory of his mom and dad, but he's sure they were nice and maybe if he tried, he could feel hands picking him up when he had first learned how to walk and planting a kiss on his forehead, and he can maybe hear a unfamiliar voice singing lullabys to him while he drifts to sleep. and maybe he can hear shocked breaths when his quirk just came in and he could make a little ball of electricity.
But Denki Kaminari killed his mom and dad. Denki Kaminari put his hand in All for One's hand and followed him and believed him when he told him the truth about heroes, and he has no record of his family because All for One is his father, and Tomura Shigaraki is his older brother.
Denki Kaminari will die a killer, a traitor, and a liar.
____________
Denki did not like the new League of Villains members.
In preparation for the training camp raid that The League is planning, they recruited new villains. And in order for Denki to not get caught up in the mayhem they will cause, Denki was forced to meet them.
First of all, Dabi was a giant asshole. He acted like he owned the place, and he would complain about how The League shouldn't be trusting a fifteen-year-old UA student with both their identities, their plans, and their hideout locations.
Of course, Shigaraki defended him. As much as they hate each other, they need Denki for their plans.
Toga was just plain crazy. When she introduced herself, she kept asking if she could 'borrow' some of his blood, and she tried to stab him way too many times, and when she got caught with a knife far too close to his back, she just hid it away and gave him a smile way too wide and way too creepy for someone who definitely was around his age.
Spinner is... okay. He seemed like the only semi-sane person there (besides the fact that he was basically a Stain cosplayer)
Twice is annoying, he talks too much, and he questions too much, and he always contradicts himself, and he gets way too touchy with everyone around.
Muscular would not shut up about how he wants to make everyone at the camp suffer, and he kept bragging about how many he's killed and how much damage he knows he will cause. He has way too much confidence, and Denki hates it.
Moonfish is disgusting. He just would not quit spouting nonsense about flesh and stuff like that, and whatever Shigaraki said about their plans, he would repeat them like some crazy freaking echo.
Mustard was almost as annoying as Twice, maybe if Twice were an overconfident teenager who absolutely hated anyone in UA. When Denki was introduced as a UA student, Mustard scoffed and mumbled something about how he already has it easy enough in life, so why join the villains (why, indeed? Denki wonders that all the time), and when Shigaraki mentioned the plans about the camp, he was happy to 'put UA students in their place'
Mr Compress was somewhat, in a way, as reasonable as a villain could get. (he wasn't much different from Dabi with his worries about letting a UA student work with The League, but he accepted it at some point) He jokes a lot. Denki has never rolled his eyes as much as he had when he made a side comment whenever Shigaraki said something (and that was saying a lot, considering he's both in UA and has to talk with Twice multiple times). Despite all that, he was surprisingly caring about the younger members and how they probably should not get them involved.
Unfortunately, Shigaraki convinced him not to worry.
Magne was as basic as any other villain; there wasn't much special about her, but she was smart, and made up most plans with Shigaraki (he surprisingly agreed, because Tomura really hates working with others)
Denki hates the Nomu more than all of the members combined. They are creepy as hell and have way too many quirks, and all they think of is killing and obeying, and he loaths it.
He hates that something can have so many quirks and that they were personally made for situations like this, and because they are All for One's personal creations.
____________
They have finally come up with a solid plan when it was way too late into the night, and this could've just been a 5 am email, but villains are not very reasonable to Denki's schedule of sleep.
Denki's orders are just basically "lay low until we're done and Bakugou is captured"
Which Denki isn't as useful as they could've made a traitor that will be in the same place as them, but it's whatever.
Apparently, they do not have enough faith in him anyway, so if he, for some reason, does come across anybody, he either will need to fight them, or give them as much information as he can. (Save for Moonfish, run away from Moonfish. Moonfish is not very happy about that.)
So yeah, Denki is quite pissed off when their meeting is over, and it's 4:53 in the morning, because this really could've been an email.
And it's raining. Just great.
____________
The camp is a total disaster, and it only just started.
It all started when Mr Aizawa announced that whoever would fail the final exam would not be able to go to the camp, so that gave Denki some hope. He just needed to purposely fail, and he's out of the plan, and that means at least some parts of it won't be his fault entirely!
even if he was the one who gave the location anyway
He did kind of feel bad when he was teamed up with Mina, because he needs to fail both of them, and Mina is the kindest, most considerate person he's ever met.
'Sorry Mina, but I'm too focused on myself to care about some final exam.'
But, of course, any hope that Denki gains comes crashing down eventually.
Denki does not know why he keeps falling for Mr Aizawa's tricks, because when he announces to the class the next day that everyone will be going to the camp, whether they failed the exams or not, Denki genuinely blanks out for the rest of the day.
He hopes that maybe, at least the universe will give him a break. He'll just go to the camp and avoid everyone like the plague, and it'll all be over.
Denki should just stop hoping for things altogether.
Why the hell does Denki have to hike and fight some weird mud monsters instead of enjoying a normal summer camp on his first day?
Trick question, UA is not normal, and every UA teacher seems pretty locked onto torturing their students for fun.
So instead of enjoying the normal teenage experience of having fun at a normal summer camp, Denki has to battle the side effects of quirk overuse, exhaustion, crippling guilt, and this horrible feeling in his gut because he does not know when The League will strike.
at least he can enjoy the normal experience of a test of courage!
Except suddenly him failing the final exams is actually important now, so instead of walking around the forest with someone and screaming their heads off all night, he's stuck in a building with the rest of the 1-A students who failed and the most annoying 1-B student.
He should've just given himself a cold or something.
____________
When Denki witnesses the forest start burning in blue flames, he suddenly has the urge to find the nearest trash can and release whatever he's eaten since he arrived here into it.
Suddenly, he doesn't feel so bad about missing out on the test of courage, because he would need to fight head-to-head with the very people that he works for.
Maybe he's too weak, but he cannot see himself winning a fight with Moonfish, or Dabi, or Toga, or Muscular, or even Mustard.
Curse Denki for thinking this could be an enjoyable summer camp ever since he arrived because he somehow enjoyed some parts of it, and he completely forgot about The League and their whole plan, and... Bakugous in trouble.
Bakugou is their priority, and they will stop at nothing to get him.
Denki is starting to realize how dangerous this actually is.
Ever since the start, ever since he told All for One what UA is planning for the students, he's always felt so disconnected when thinking about stuff like this, until it actually happens. This is the same feeling I had at the USJ
The same feeling he had when he witnessed Shigaraki and his group of villains, the same feeling he had when he witnessed Mr Aizawa, All Might, and the others get attacked by that Nomu, the same feeling he had when he realized All Might was getting weak, and it was all his fault.
And it's all his fault once again. His friends are in that forest that the others are in, no doubt already needing to fight unexpected villains. And he is sitting in a building safe from it all. As usual, Denki will avoid the consequences of his actions.
His thoughts are cut short when the building erupts in blue flames, and all he can think is,
'damn, I'm dead. should've never trusted those guys.'
____________
Denki awakes in a hospital, and his head is pounding. And Katsuki Bakugou has been captured by the League of Villains.
He wishes he could say that he had nothing to do with any of this, so, so bad. But Denki is a traitor, and he is the reason Bakugou will die.
He wishes he could say he spent his day in bed thinking of ways to save Bakugou or planning on telling the teachers he's a traitor, and the reason Bakugou has been kidnapped. Instead, he lies in bed and wallows in his own misery. He blames himself over and over and accepts that Bakugou will not survive this.
Eventually, he leaves his room and checks up on Midoriya because he heard he has the worst injuries in Class A.
What surprises him is his classmates gathered around,
What doesn't surprise him is Kirishima already planning on saving Bakugou,
What surprises everyone is Denki agreeing to save Bakugou.
Denki would like to blame his time at UA for his reckless behavior. Denki has always thought about what to say and what to do. Denki can control his emotions and to not let anything personal leak through his facade made for the public.
But it's all on Denki. He's the reason Bakugou has been captured, and he wants to do something good for once so goddamn bad.
Screw All for One. Screw Tomura and the league, because Denki will become his own person, Screw it all if he goes 'mysteriously' missing and he's never found again.
Because these are his friends, even if Bakugou is a complete asshole to everyone and he has a giant ego, he is Denki's friend.
(and when he looks Shigaraki in the eyes and grabs his friend's hands and runs, he feels free.
when he runs faster than he has ever run, he feels as if he left that traumatized four-year-old and that newly trained ten-year-old, and that cowardly fourteen and fifteen-year-old in that battlefield,
when he locks his eyes on that screen in the city and sees All for One, and he doesn't feel scared, but angry at him for using a gullible four-year-old that has just lost his mom and dad for his horrible plans,
And when All Might wins against the symbol of fear, Denki feels hope
and when All Might points to the world and says, "Now, it's your turn"
Denki Kaminari feels a little stronger,
and Chargebolt becomes more than a small feeling of what if in Denki's mind.)