Adult Content Warning

This work could have adult content. If you continue, you have agreed that you are willing to see such content.

• Yes, Continue
• No, Go Back

If you accept cookies from our site and you choose "Yes, Continue", you will not be asked again during this session (that is, until you close your browser). If you log in you can store your preference and never be asked again.

1. “and you are not there at all” by blue_is_very_confused

   Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey  

   • Not Rated
   • Major Character Death
   • F/M, Gen
   • Complete Work

   13 Jun 2026

   Tags

   • Major Character Death
   • Dan Goodman/Diana Goodman
   • Natalie Goodman/Henry
   • Diana Goodman & Gabe Goodman
   • Dan Goodman & Gabe Goodman
   • Dan Goodman & Natalie Goodman
   • Diana Goodman & Natalie Goodman
   • Gabe Goodman & Natalie Goodman
   • Gabe Goodman
   • Natalie Goodman
   • Diana Goodman
   • Dan Goodman
   • Henry (Next to Normal)
   • Doctor Madden (Next to Normal)
   • the major character death is just Gabe btw
   • Ghost Gabe Goodman
   • Gabe Goodman haunts the narrative
   • Gabe Goodman Needs a Hug
   • Natalie Goodman Needs a Hug
   • Dan Goodman Needs a Hug
   • Everyone Needs a Hug
   • Good Older Sibling Gabe Goodman
   • well. sometimes
   • when he wants to be
   • Dan Goodman is Trying His Best
   • Suicide Attempt
   • Drug Use
   • Gabe Goodman-centric
   • because I love him
   • Author Is Sleep Deprived
   • Author is a Gabe Goodman apologist
   • Not Beta Read

   Summary

   He doesn’t know why he is the way he is. He understands that he shouldn’t be here. He understands why his sister hates him, why his father won’t look at him, why his mother tries to ignore him because that’s what she needs to do.

   But no amount of begging will change what he is. And nothing is able to hold down that little shard of him that always makes everything worse. Not even the part that, deep down, cares about his family.

   If he loves them, why is he hurting them?

   —

   or, a character study of diana’s son from the eyes of himself and those he encounters.

   Series

   • Part 8 of more than memory

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   13,746

   Chapters:

   9/9

   Comments:

   23

   Kudos:

   55

   Bookmarks:

   9

   Hits:

   426