more than memory
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i am the one who sees you by blue_is_very_confused
Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
05 Jul 2026
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Summary
When she said his name that night, it didn’t feel the same. It wasn’t right. Her mother went very, very still and her father’s jaw tightened and even her brother didn’t like hearing it. He took in the looks on their parents’ faces and shrunk down in his seat.
Finally, Dan nodded, closed his eyes, and said, “Yes, Natalie,” in a tone that sounded nothing like agreement.
Natalie looked back at her brother. He was gone.
—
Or, for the first few years of her life, Natalie Goodman grows up with Gabe by her side.
(Inspired by a post by @i-love-multiple-ppl on tumblr)
Series
- Part 1 of more than memory
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even when you’re not here, it becomes about you by blue_is_very_confused
Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
19 Sep 2026
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Summary
Natalie checks inside the drawer and sees it’s completely empty. A hole opens inside her at that, and with her heart pounding, she examines Mom more closely. Around her are a myriad of pill bottles, over half of them open and almost completely empty.
“Oh,” she says. She hears the way her own voice shakes.
—
or, natalie finds her mother right after she took half her medications all at once.
(day nineteen (alt prompt): overdose)
Series
- Part 11 of blue’s whumptober 2026
- Part 2 of more than memory
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now you’re taller than you’ve ever been by blue_is_very_confused
Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
05 Oct 2026
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Summary
She grips the sink even tighter, which she didn’t think possible. There’s someone else in this house with the same brown and white hairs that she’s seeing on herself. Two people, really, if she counts—
No. That doesn’t count. All she saw was a glimpse. She can’t be sure. And that glimpse can’t have been real.
What is real is the pair of kitchen shears downstairs. So Natalie focuses on that instead of what looms in the back of her mind.
—
or, natalie gives herself a haircut.
(day five: haircut)
Series
- Part 5 of blue’s whumptober 2026
- Part 3 of more than memory
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i need something bigger than the sky by blue_is_very_confused
Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
01 Oct 2026
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Summary
Hesitation rises in his chest to match his mother’s, but he shoves it down. It’s painful to ignore it, and one side of him screams. The side that wants to leave forever, to move on, to be released from this—that side curls around its stomach and bites its tongue hard enough to draw blood. The side that doesn’t care props its elbows on the kitchen counter, leans forward, and smiles reassuringly. He has her completely with that smile. And he knows it.
“Nothing,” he tells her. He says it conspiratorally. He fiddles with his hands. “If he doesn’t know.”
—
or, gabe’s thoughts after i miss the mountains.
(day one: selfish)
Series
- Part 1 of blue’s whumptober 2026
- Part 4 of more than memory
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it’s not the hunger revealing by blue_is_very_confused
Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
19 Sep 2026
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Summary
He tries to ignore it entirely. He can feel it, of course. He can feel hunger eating away at him, can feel his stomach folding in on itself. He’s tried to keep things down and make that hunger go away. Nothing can stay down. But it doesn’t matter if he’s hungry all the time. It doesn’t matter if he despises it, or what it means. None of it matters. That’s what he tells himself. What matters is staying close to Mom. Only that.
—
or, gabe can’t eat. despite how he’s always hungry.
(day twenty-two: hunger)
Series
- Part 12 of blue’s whumptober 2026
- Part 5 of more than memory
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i don’t wanna go, think i’ll make it worse by blue_is_very_confused
Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
02 Oct 2026
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Summary
He looked for the door after running into the wall the first time, and he never found it. He shouted enough that his voice grew hoarse. He screamed. He pressed himself as far up against the walls as he could, put his forehead to the glass, and pleaded for his mom to remember.
He was made for her to grieve him. (He thinks.)
He was made so she could reminisce. (And oh, she does so much reminiscing.)
He was made to force her to think of what could have been. (He does that more than he should, really. But he’s supposed to be there so she has something to let go of.)
How can she grieve his death if she can’t remember him?
—
or, gabe is trapped in a box after the ECT, and he wants more than anything to get out.
(day two: stranded; day eleven: blood-matted hair; and day thirteen: damaged vocal cords)
Series
- Part 2 of blue’s whumptober 2026
- Part 6 of more than memory
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so you rock that recital, and get into yale by blue_is_very_confused
Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
12 Oct 2026
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Summary
The thing about classical is that it leaves an extremely small margin for error. If the chord she plays includes a wrong note, so long as that note fits into another chord in the piece that happens immediately after, she can play it off as intentional. That’s the most she can stretch her luck.
But Natalie’s never been very lucky. The run she plays on her right hand doesn’t land on the correct note. At the same time, her left hand slips and crushes the chord. Natalie freezes.
—
or, natalie doesn’t rock her recital. she most definitely does not get into yale.
(day twelve: failure)
Series
- Part 8 of blue’s whumptober 2026
- Part 7 of more than memory
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,483
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 9
- Hits:
- 58
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“and you are not there at all” by blue_is_very_confused
Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
13 Jun 2026
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Summary
He doesn’t know why he is the way he is. He understands that he shouldn’t be here. He understands why his sister hates him, why his father won’t look at him, why his mother tries to ignore him because that’s what she needs to do.
But no amount of begging will change what he is. And nothing is able to hold down that little shard of him that always makes everything worse. Not even the part that, deep down, cares about his family.
If he loves them, why is he hurting them?
—
or, a character study of diana’s son from the eyes of himself and those he encounters.
Series
- Part 8 of more than memory
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too alike to love each other more by blue_is_very_confused
Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
30 Sep 2026
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Summary
“I know that you care about it,” Mom finally answers, slowly, looking a little unsure. “And you had that—that recital, right? Did that…?”
Natalie does her best to hide her full-body reaction to that. If Mom pays attention, she’ll see her stiffen up and straighten a little, but she doesn’t think Mom will do that. She’s never paid much attention before, after all. Not that Natalie’s aware. “That was a while ago, Mom,” she says.
There’s hurt in Mom’s eyes. And maybe she’s more observant than Natalie thought, because there’s sympathy there too. “...Oh,” she says softly, looking away. “Okay.”
—
or, natalie feels like her mom trying to connect with her after the treatments is too little and far too late.
(day twenty-nine: too little, too late)
Series
- Part 17 of blue’s whumptober 2026
- Part 9 of more than memory
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Tags
Summary
“I don’t need the car,” Mom finally answers. She turns back to the door. His shoulders drop, one hand flitting to his stomach, anger cracking and breaking as quickly as it came. He can never keep one trait for too long.
“What?” he asks, and this time his voice is small and scared, now that he’s realized he can’t convince her not to leave.
“I’m going to walk,” she announces matter-of-factly.
He doesn’t know what to say to that.
He decides that he won’t say anything.
—
or, diana visits gabe’s tombstone for the first time in seventeen years. gabe has no choice but to go with her.
(day eight (alt prompt): coffin)
Series
- Part 7 of blue’s whumptober 2026
- Part 10 of more than memory
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something is rotten inside of me by blue_is_very_confused
Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
19 Sep 2026
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Summary
He doesn’t notice how dependent he’s gotten on her until he tries living without her. It’s not that he thought it was just a one-way feeling, with Mom depending only on him, but he didn’t know that he was this accustomed to leaning on her when he needed it. He hadn’t had to think about the pain in his gut whenever he was without her, because he made sure he was never without her for too long. Maybe some of his need to be close to her came from the subconscious urge to get away from that pain, to minimize it as much as he could. He’d been in pain so much when he was alive, and his body didn’t want that ever again.
—
or, gabe struggles without diana after the events of the musical.
(day eighteen: isolation sickness)
Series
- Part 10 of blue’s whumptober 2026
- Part 11 of more than memory
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i’m not angry anymore (well, sometimes i am) by blue_is_very_confused
Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
19 Sep 2026
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Summary
“It’s just, that’s what I thought too, and now that I’ve tried it—”
“No, Dad.” Natalie leans on the counter to keep herself upright. “I’m fine. I don’t need someone—poking around and messing with my brain, okay? I’ll do that on my own.”
Dad stares at her, looking wounded.
—
or, natalie and dan try to carry a conversation after diana’s left.
(day twenty-one: voice breaking)
Series
- Part 11 of blue’s whumptober 2026
- Part 12 of more than memory
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,220
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 13
- Hits:
- 85
-
Tags
Summary
She’s been alone with her thoughts for exactly two hours, three minutes, and forty-five seconds. Not that she’s counting. Not that she’s worried about being alone with her thoughts.
But she’s not alone, is she?
Someone else is here, too. The silence tells her that.
Well, not just the silence. The thing sitting on the countertop, wearing Mom’s old hoodie, fidgeting with his hands. The thing Natalie has tried to ignore for every hour of every day that he’s appeared since Mom disappeared.
—
or, natalie starts seeing her dead brother, and she worries that she’s turning into her mom.
(day twenty-six: ghosts, mirror image)
Series
- Part 13 of blue’s whumptober 2026
- Part 13 of more than memory
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,175
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 23
- Hits:
- 119
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destruction, decay, and desire by blue_is_very_confused
Fandoms: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
19 Sep 2026
Tags
Summary
“You’re trying to stay away,” Natalie repeats. He jumps as he’s brought back to the right moment, then goes cold as he registers the emotion behind her voice. It’s scorn, venomous and biting. “Yeah. That’s going well.”
He senses her resentment. If he’d been around her for more than a week, he would feel the same. As it stands, their connection is still too fragile for that, and his own hurt eclipses all else. He leans away from her and clarifies, “From Mom,” hoping she’ll understand that and let him in.
And knowing as he says it that it’s more selfish than he’d like. That he wants her to let him in so she has someone to rely on, but first and foremost so he can keep existing. Keep taking advantage of every scrap he’s given.
—
or, gabe knows that natalie hates him, but he wants to be close to her anyway.
(day thirteen (again): grief; and day twenty-seven: poison)
Series
- Part 15 of blue’s whumptober 2026
- Part 14 of more than memory