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Ponyboy slumped further into the couch, eyes glued to the floor, head spinning.
God, it was wrong. It was all wrong. He shouldn’t be thinking this way, not about his best friend. Not about Johnny.
But he couldn’t stop them. His brain wouldn’t shut up, wouldn’t stop thinking about how soft Johnny’s hair was when it wasn’t greased, how perfect the slope of his nose was, how perfect the bow of his lip was…
Jesus Christ, I’m a-
“Pony?” Soda’s soft voice cut into his thoughts. “You good?”
“Uh…yeah. Just thinkin’”
Soda grinned, flopping down next to him, knocking Pony’s head twice. “Well, that’s never a good thing when it comes to that brain of yours.”
Pony rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t stop the small grin that came to his face. Soda continued. “But really, what’s up? Whatcha thinkin’ about?”
“Well…there’s just this…this thing I have goin’ on, somethin’ I haven’t really told anyone about.”
The hint of worry left Soda’s face, replaced with a lit-up expression. “Perfect! Tell me all about it.”
“No, Soda, you don’t-” Ponyboy paused. “It’s not just a thing I can talk about.”
Soda raised an eyebrow in the specifically annoying way Two-Bit taught him. “Something you don’t even wanna talk about with me? C’monnn, it can’t be that bad. Just tell me.”
Pony looked away from Soda, heat creeping up his neck. “Well, it is. If I tell you, or- or anyone, they’ll probably hate me. Seriously, Soda, it’s… it’s bad.” Tears welled in his eyes, and he tilted his head back in an attempt to stop them.
Soda leaned back against the couch, thinking for a minute. Then he spoke up, slowly. “Well, hon, you know I ain’t gonna hate you. I never could.”
Pony looked back at Soda, sniffling. “You sure?”
Soda smiled a little softer, holding out his pinky. “Honest.”
Pony took his pinky with his own, softly shaking them. He took a deep breath, held it for 1…2…3…
“I’m gay.”
There was a long pause from Soda.
“...you’re what?”
“I’m gay.” Pony’s voice was small and shaky. “I like boys- and, well, girls too, but…”
Soda stared at Pony for five seconds before pulling him into a gentle hug. “Oh, honey…”
Pony buried his face in Soda’s shoulder and sobbed. His tears soaked into Soda’s shirt, shoulders shaking. He was so scared, he didn’t even want to look at Soda’s face.
Eventually, though, Soda slowly pulled Pony up so he was sitting, hands still rested on Pony’s shoulders. Pony’s eyes were bloodshot, snot and tears running down his face. The spot on Soda’s shoulder was dark and wet with tears, along with Pony’s shirt collar
“Thank you for telling me. 'M sorry it seemed like I would’ve hated you for that.”
“You don’t?” Pony wiped his nose and his sleeve, then sniffled.
Soda laughed gently, hands falling to his sides. “You really think I would hate you for liking a guy?” When he was met with silence, he laughed again, signature grin back on his face. “Of course I wouldn’t!”
Pony smiled a little, too, tension in his shoulders dropping. “Thanks.”
Soda rolled his eyes fondly. “No need to thank me.” He leaned back against the back of the couch. “But how’d you find out, anyways?”
Pony’s face flushed. “Uh…well…”
Soda's grin turned into a smirk. “Is it a crush?” he teased.
“Shut up-”
“It so is!” Soda laughed, head tilting back before looking at him again. “Whose the lucky guy?”
Pony shook his head, propping his elbows up on his knees and burying his face in his hands. “It’s embarrassing.”
Soda lightly punched in the shoulder. “Can’t be. C’mon, spit it out.”
There was about 10 seconds of silence before Pony finally mumbled. “...Johnny.”
Soda’s eyes widened, smirk turning back to a wide grin. “What?”
“It’s Johnny.” Pony spoke louder this time, lifting his head and finally looking at Soda.
Pony was pulled into a joyful, bone-crushing hug, then pulled back, meeting Soda’s cheery face. “Not embarrassing at all. Actually, it’s kinda perfect!”
“Shut up,”
“Never. This is too cute.”