Chapter Text
Kaoru paused, not sure how he wanted to answer.
Kaoru let out a long sigh and dropped his phone on the bed beside him. The still air in his room felt oppressive and unbearable. He got up to open the window, praying for any slight breeze. Instead, Kaoru faced a ghost as he dragged his window open. The window across from his—Kojiro's window—stayed permanently closed now that the bedroom was empty, and he was off in Italy. A lone cicada began shrieking in the tree between their houses, calling out for others in the otherwise silent summer night.
What a pathetic sound, Kaoru thought as he returned to his bed. Though I wouldn't mind screaming a bit if I could.
He checked the time as he sat back down on the edge of his bed.
1:43AM
He could text Kojiro again—he had two minutes left on his break—but Kaoru dropped his phone to his side instead. He just had to be patient. The smell of rain drifted in on the weak summer breeze, and for a moment Kaoru stared back towards his window, almost wishing that clumsy oaf would come in to his bedroom through the window like he used to. Kaoru flopped on his back and stared at his unmoving ceiling fan. How could Kojiro feel so close, yet so far away? His room was right there, but time and distance kept them apart more than anything that had come between them as teenagers.
"Just come into my bedroom," Kojiro's voice echoed in Kaoru's mind as the rain began tapping on the window. "You can use the window since our rooms are across from each other."
Lightning flashed through the window and Kaoru counted—one, two, three, four, five, six, seven—until he heard thunder. He sat up, eyes drawn again to the window, still half expecting Kojiro to come tumbling in with the thunder. Another silent flash of lightning gave Kaoru a very stupid idea.
Kaoru flung his window the rest of the way open and waited, counting backwards from seven this time, timing his leap from the window with the next crash of thunder. He hit the ground hard, but he'd taken worse falls while skating and knew what to do, rolling with the momentum and popping back up as fast as he could. Freezing rain plastered pink hair to his face as he hopped the fence and dashed under the tree at Kojiro's window. With the next crash of thunder he clambered up into the tree, the branches tapping at the window. He carfully moved along the branch closest to it as he waited for the next bolt of lightning to spilt the sky. Normally Kojiro would've been there to open the window for Kaoru, but this time he'd have to do it himself. He carfully reached out and tried to pry the window open, rain-soaked fingers slippping along the edges, struggling to find purchase. After several minutes Kaoru swore under his breath, realizing the window was likely locked and wouldn't open no mater how hard he tried.
With a defeated sigh Kaoru shimmied back down the branch and, after giving Kojiro's empty window one last glance over his shoulder, climbed back down from the tree. He slowly crossed the yard as the rain continued. The thunder came sooner after the lightning now, but Kaoru was barely paying attention as he hopped the fence back into his yard. He stood in the summer rain for a moment, soaking in the chill and remembering the dream he'd had that was keeping him awake in the first place.
He had been having dreams of seeing Kojiro back at the Okinowa drive-in during a summer storm not unlike this one, but every time Kaoru reached out for him he'd turn into mist. In his dreams he spent hours chasing the ghost of Kojiro around their old spots, but this rain was real, and would make him sick if he stayed out in it too long. Kaoru carefully climbed up the trellis his mother's morning glory vines grew along, back to his window. He waited for another crash of thunder, and tumbled inside. Kaoru closed the window, then shuddered, finally registering just how cold the rain had been, and made his way to his bathroom, snatching his phone from the bed where he'd abandoned it on his way past.
1:57AM
He'd have plenty of time to shower and warm back up while he waited, but that also meant plenty of time to wonder about Kojiro. What was skating like in Italy? Did he still skate at all, or was he feeling this same weird betrayal too? Kaoru tried to shake it off, but the feeling had already settled under his skin with the chill of the rain.
Kaoru peeled off his soaking wet shirt and squeezed the rainwater out in the sink as best as he could while he waited for the water for his shower to warm up. How many times had they been caught in the rain while skating together? How many times had Kojiro wrung out both of their shirts in this sink, claiming Kaoru could never get all the water out? Was he saving other people from the rain the same way over in Italy? Or was this bone chilling summer rain an Okinawa thing?
Thoughts swirled aroud Kaoru's mind as he stepped into the scalding shower without flinching. For a while he just stood under the water, staring blankly at the white floor. Eventually he let muscle memory take over, fingers scrubbing over his scalp and through long pink hair with shampoo first, then conditioner. As Kaoru reached for his body wash he paused, Kojiro usually did this next part for him. How many times had Kojiro helped him through showers like this? How many times had they casually stood there in the small shower together? Was he doing this with other people in a less casual way? Kaoru wiped water from his face, before trying to scrub the feeling of Kojiro's hands from his skin.
Once Kaoru felt he had successfully banished the cold of the rain, and the ghost of Kojiro's touch, he turned the shower off and reached for his towel. He quickly dried himself off, and slipped into the linen robe he kept hanging behind the door, before gently towel drying his hair. He would've preferred to use the blow dryer to dry it all the way, but his long shower at 2AM had been risky enough. Instead he carfully wrapped his hair up in a towel to at least keep it off the back of his neck like his mother taught him. Once Kaoru was back in his room and in dry clothes, he checked his phone, halfway hoping for a notification from Kojiro about when exactly he'd be off work.
2:55AM
No new notifications
Kaoru tossed his phone on on his bed with a frustrated sigh. He didn't want to wait another hour for Kojiro, but it seemed that was the unfortunate reality of the situation. Kaoru paced his room, counting his steps, and trying to ignore the tightness in his chest every time he passed his window. The rain battered mercilessly against the glass, drumming up another unwanted memory of Kojiro tapping on the window.
Lightning split the sky as Kaoru turned back to the window. Light and shadow briefly tricked him into believing Kojiro was there outside, tapping on the glass to be let in. He instinctively rushed to the window, fingers already undoing the latch when reality crashed over him with the thunder—Kojiro really was gone—he wasn't there.
Kaoru bit the inside of his cheek, trying to ignore the prickle of tears forming in his eyes. He carefully latched window for the second time, and fought back the urge to punch through the glass. He stalked back over to his bed, ripping the towel from his hair and tossing it to the floor near his laundry basket. He had enough of a headache already, and his hair was only slightly damp now.
"Can I braid your hair?" The echo of Kojiro's voice came back a little louder than last time, and Kaoru dropped to his knees beside his bed. This time he couldn't stop the tears from falling. He hated to admit it but he did miss that stupid green-haired idiot. He missed the feeling of Kojiro's steady fingers braiding his hair when he got frustrated with it. He missed the way the giant idiot would sprawl out on the bed and let him curl up under his arm, even on humid summer nights. For a moment, in the dark, with the lightning throwing odd shadows, Kaoru swore he could see Kojiro laying there. He reached out and, like in his nightmares, only found air.
Kaoru clenched his jaw, trying to bite back the sobs that threatened to take over. He hated that he was so easily affected, and how easy it seemed for Kojiro to just leave him behind. Part of him was angry—how dare Kojiro leave him here after all they'd been through together—but hidden behind that anger was a part of him that just desperately missed his friend.
Kaoru knelt there silently sobbing as the storm raged on outside. Thunder rattled the windows after another bolt of lightning split the sky, and Kaoru let out a small choked sob. He hated the ache in his chest that felt like something was missing. Thoughts flooded Kaoru's mind as he buried his head in his arms.
Am I going crazy? Why am I seeing him?
Why is time moving so slowly?
How long is this storm going to drag on?
How much longer until I can hear Kojiro's voice again?
I don't know what's real anymore Kojiro please—
Finally a clap of thunder so loud Kaoru felt it in his bones snaped him out of it. He wiped his face off and reached out for his phone. As he tapped the screen, his phone lit up the dark space, nearly blinding him as he checked the time once again.
3:01AM
1 new message
Kaoru clambered into his bed, quickly unlocking his phone and checking the notification.
Kaoru half-sobbed, half-laughed as his heart jumped back to life in his chest. Thunder rumbled further away as he tried to regulate his breathing. This whole night was driving him crazy and he hoped hearing Kojiro's voice would help settle down like it used to.