Archive of Our Own

His back aches, badly. It's the fifty-minute mark of a terrible movie that they're watching and Harua, as always, was thrown away from the couch - sitting uncomfortably on the floor with only a pillow under his ass.

Their movie nights are a tradition - every week on Sundays at least a few of them from their friend group would show up at Harua's house to watch randomly drawn movies.

And this week, to Harua's displeasure, it was Taki's movie that won. After fifteen minutes of the terrible cinematography Harua already silently wished that he bailed with Nicholas.

This time it's only four of them - him, Jo, Taki and Yuma, it's been like that for a while now. Harua was actually supposed to not be here this Sunday though, he even asked his mom in advance to just let his friends in. But his primary plans didn't quite work out, so… there he is.

Yuma groans, "You know, we could always just switch to a random hunter hunter episode."

"Trust me, it'll get better!"

"I don't know Taki, you've been saying it for a while now." Jo frowns, unconvinced.

"It's barely been half of the movie! There's still a long way to go," he buries himself into the couch, "Besides, the part two is even better!"

"Taki we're not watching part two-"

Suddenly the door slams open.

Everyone turns.

It's Maki, carrying a big tool box in the grasp of his right hand, the left one still on the door handle.

"Maki, you're late!" Yuma raises his voice, his tone slightly annoyed, "The movie started ages ago, not like you missed anything though." he adds the last part quietly. Taki hits his arm playfully.

Maki widens his eyes at the group, "Wait, it's Sunday today?"

"What?" Taki furrows his eyebrows, "Yeah. Why else would you be here?"

"Oh. I just came here to help Rua's mom with the sink," his eyes turn to Harua, there's a flicker of surprise in his gaze, "I thought you wouldn't be here today."

Harua frowns, "Well, I am."

Maki makes a mocking smile, "What? Someone got stood up?"

Harua scoffs, "Did not," he looks away, back to the unfortunate look of the movie, "Riwoo just happened to have an appointment today."

"Uh-huh," Maki nods with fake acknowledgement , "Anyway. I'll get back to you guys in a minute so we can actually watch something."

"But we are watch-" Taki tries to reply, offended, "He left."

Harua keeps on looking towards where the kitchen is, where Maki just disappeared behind a wall, he frowns.

When they were younger Maki used to be his only friend, and with Harua not really being blessed with the manliest genes, it was Maki who mostly helped his mother in the place of his missing father.

Sometimes the issue needed both of their help and Maki's brother's on top of that. Now - Harua thinks he'd be enough to help but his mom still calls Maki to do things for her. It rubs Harua the wrong way.

"Maki's constantly bailing on movie Sundays lately," Yuma points out, "It's not like he has any other friends, so what could possibly be taking so much of his time?" He asks rhetorically, more as a way to display his frustration rather than actually to get to the bottom of it.

Harua shrugs, "Whatever. We have no reasons to complain since it's not mandatory."

"Still, it would be nice to show up once in a while," Taki pouts, "Even Kei-hyung who is insanely busy, still tries to come as much as he can."

They're right, Harua thinks. The last time Maki joined them for movie-watching was almost a month ago.

It's weird, mostly because he hangs out with them at school normally, nothing out of the ordinary.

"Harua is right though," Jo points out, "We can't start treating these Sundays as something mandatory because then the whole concept will lose its meaning."

Yuma scoffs, "Whatever, see if I care," he looks at Taki, "C'mon, get on with this poor excuse of a movie."

The day is beautiful, it is not cold but it's not too hot either. The sun shines brightly but the breeze is giving a nice contrast to it, chilling Harua's sun kissed skin.

It is warm enough for his popsicle to slowly, but surely, start melting though, as he waits in front of the convenience store.

It's been a couple of days already since he started dating Riwoo, and Harua thinks it's well - nice.

Riwoo is perfectly pleasant, he's pretty, gentle and his height isn't making Harua insecure about his own.

He's also extremely boring, predictable and short.

It's been a couple of days already since he started dating Riwoo, and Harua thinks it's not gonna last.

So pretty much as usual.

He sets the popsicle right in between his lips, the ice cooling both the outside and the inside of his mouth.

The screen of his phone lights up. It's a discord notification.

emayekayeye

hey

when r u hopping on iso

?

He smiles despite himself, the contemplations he had long forgotten now.

rururun

hiya

maybe later today

rn im on this absolutely tragic date

idk how to get away

emayekayeye

another boyfriend ?

rururun

ugh yeah

its been five days already

or six?

not sure but hes not doing very well

emayekayeye

youre so picky

settle on on someone would u ?

rururun

maybe if you were an option

Harua smiles even wider.

"emayekayeye" or Kay, as Harua calls him, is a friend he met on a web game, Innocent sin online - iso for short.

They've known each other for a while now, it was just the beginning of spring when Harua first tried this game. It's funny - he was supposed to try it out with Fuma and Taki, but he ended up being the only one to actually enjoy it.

emayekayeye

youre such a sweet talker

stop cheating with me on ur bf

youre playing with my heart too ruu

rururun

not cheating

https://tenor.com/gbvjp.gif

emayekayeye

whats that

rururun

?

a gif

emayekayeye

not working

rururun

wtf

whatevr

anyway, gotta go

emayekayeye

ur boyfriend back ?

rururun

yes

bye kay !!!!!!!!!

"What are you so giggly about?" Riwoo is back, with a paper bag full of groceries.

"Nothing," Harua quickly hides his phone, "Got everything you needed?"

"Ah, yes. Sorry for that- going for groceries during our date. I would be too lazy to get them after walking you back."

"Its okay. I don't mind." He does mind.

Because who does that? You take a boy you like on a date, get him a mere popsicle and leave him on a random bench when your mom asks you to get groceries? And then you even admit that it was out of laziness?

Two days more, tops.

"Actually," Riwoo starts, "Can we say goodbye when we'll get to my house? The bag's kinda heavy."

Harua blinks.

Seriously?

He blinks more and looks around for something that would save him from this situation.

And he finds just that, Euijoo is standing in front of the florist opposite the store. Harua inhales with relief and smiles.

He turns to Riwoo brightly and holds his hand, "It's okay, just get home, there's an errand I have to run nearby anyway. See you tomorrow." He rushily pecks Riwoo's cheek and rushes to the florist before the other can respond.

Tomorrow, that's final.

Euijoo casually leans on his bike when Harua walks up to him. He's completely unaware of anything aside from his phone as he nervously types.

"Euijoo, whats up?" Harua smiles at him.

He looks up from his phone, caught off guard, "Oh, Harua hi! I'm just waiting for a friend. We're supposed to go to my house to work on a project, but his mom is um- in a need of his help right now."

Harua sends a look at the florist's, "Inside there?" he asks, skeptically.

Euijoo scratches his head, "Yeah. She's the owner- Ugh, wait."

Suddenly, he uses all his might and power to strongly type a whole paragraph of a message, in a span of not even a minute.

"Woah, what's happening?"

Euijoo sighs, "Nothing it's just that there are a couple more of us in the group you know? And they're all waiting for us in front of my house," he frowns, "I'm trying to explain that it's not my fault, but they're well- persistent."

"They're stuck up?"

"I wouldn't say-"

"Stupid then?"

"Not- exactly. They're just not really trying to get it."

"So stupid then."

Euijoo blinks a bunch and complies "Sure."

"Euijoo!"

Both of them turn to the entrance and there's a boy coming out of the store. His face is bright with a wide smile, his eyes are also smiling. His hair has a lustrous glow to it and he is just so cute, totally Harua's type.

Harua smiles charmingly at him.

He walks up to them, there's a huge bouquet in his arms, "I'm so sorry for the wait. Here, my mom made this as an apology." He hands Euijoo the flowers.

"Oh- It's okay. I don't mind, not sure about all the others," He sighs, "Anyway. This is Harua, Harua this is Sunoo."

The boy makes an eye contact with Harua, smiles, and tilts his head a little, "So nice to meet you. A shame, if I knew there would be more company I'd bring you a bouquet too." He reaches with his hand.

Harua takes it and shakes it gently, "That's no problem, there's always next time." When he separates their hands, he makes sure to linger his finger's on Sunoo's.

And when Euijoo and Sunoo eventually leave, he makes sure to send Euijoo several messages demanding the other's number.

Harua's sitting on the curb. Pissed, to say the least.

It's Friday afternoon, usually a time for a moment of leisure, yet he's very much not doing anything fun. And he is pissed.

"Chill out. It's just a chipped nail."

"It's not just a nail. I literally got them done on Tuesday! It didn't even last a week."

Maki stops dribbling aimlessly, to kill time, and starts dribbling towards where Harua's sitting. On the curb.

"Well- can't you just repair it yourself? You do your own nails all the time."

"Its not that simple," he pouts, "The reason someone else had to do them for me in the first place, was that it's too complex of a design for me."

"I think," he stops dribbling and sits next to Harua, "That if you did a plain black nail in its place that would look pretty cool."

Harua raises his hands upwards and spreads his fingers. He frowns, "I guess… that wouldn't look too bad."

"Right? Oh, there goes Nicho."

Maki and Nicholas are playing some late basketball matches today. Harua himself has no interest in that this time, the reason being his tragic mood, but he came for a while to watch.

He also chipped his nail as he sat down on the curb. Hence why he's pissed.

Well, not so much anymore.

"Ready for a beating, Ma-Ki?" Nicholas points at him.

"Not a chance." He responds and grins. He quickly jogs to their friend.

Harua is sure he's not going to spend much time here. This day has been awful already and wasting his time at the park doing nothing will not make it much better. Besides - there's something, or rather someone who would make for much better plans.

Harua started the day with visiting Riwoo first thing in the morning, he texted him "hi, can i walk you to school?"

The walk wasn't half bad, they live fairly close so it wasn't that much of a bother and ultimately - it made the job done. As soon as Harua left Riwoo in front of his classroom he was quick and went straight to the point.

"Riwoo, I don't think this is working that well." He said with a straight expression.

Riwoo took it quite well, sure he was sad but he understood when Harua said "I can't explain further, I have algebra in three." He just replied with a short Oh before Harua took it as his turn to leave.

Even though it went well and he spared him the unnecesary explanation, it didn't really make the day pleasant.

Then, when he got back, he sent Kay at least a dozen messages with no reply from the other, before he gave up thinking it's whatever.

The only thing that wasn't half bad today was the extensive amount of messages he shared with Sunoo. He's forever grateful and indebted to Euijoo for that.

Harua was quick to learn that Sunoo really has a way with words. He texted him through out his entire english and social studies classes and dare he'll say - they have never passed so fast before.

florist boy

you know

if you're not doing anything in particular right now

i would love to fulfill my promise about those flowers

Harua smiles widely. Sunoo really is just so sweet.

He replies almost immediately, securing a meeting.

He gets up, the sour mood from the chipped nail, boring Friday, Kay, and the dumping he had to do, long forgotten.

"Harua? Where are you going?" Maki's voice rings out behind his back. Right, from all this excitement he forgot to say goodbye.

Maki blinks at him with wide eyes, Harua smiles at both him and Nicholas, "I have a date." He giggles.

His legs kick off the blanket on his bed as he shifts forward. It is way too hot for it anyway, even when he's on top of it.

It's way too hot for a blanket when he's on top of Sunoo.

Harua was quick to learn that Sunoo has a way with words during their texting, but he was also quick to learn that Sunoo has a way with many different things.

The kissing is slow when they're both testing the waters but Sunoo is still confident with it.

Harua's not one for meaningless hook-ups. First of all - he's underage, there will be a better time for that, and second of all - this story is G rated.

Harua is one for making out though, and Sunoo is a great kisser. His lips are petal smooth and his touch delicate. He sets his hand firmly, but gently, on the back of Harua's neck as he himself is leaning on the bed's headboard. His head is on the same level as the flowers, beautifully displayed in the vase standing on Harua's nightstand. He rests the other, not occupied one, hand on Harua's waist.

Sunoo leaves one last peck on Harua's lips before moving to his neck, Harua giggles at that and switches their position so that he is the one leaning on the headboard now.

The kisses feel like butterflies fluttering on his skin and they make his heart skip a beat, and just as Harua's about to rest his hands in Sunoo's perfectly smooth hair, the phone rings.

The boy quickly detaches from him and sits for a second, staring. Even though Harua never managed to run his hands through Sunoo's hair, it's still somehow completely disheveled, and on top of that he's sweetly and tragically flushed.

"So-" he pants, "So sorry. It's probably my mom, I uh- I promised her I'd close up the shop tonight."

Harua sends him a sweet smile, "No worries, let me walk you downstairs."

When they make their way through the house, all the way towards the door, Sunoo pleasantly greets Harua's mom and even makes some charming small talk with her. It reminds Harua of how awkward Riwoo was with her the two times when he actually cared enough to visit him.

"Sorry to cut this so short, I had the best time." Sunoo gently holds both of Harua's hands.

"Me too and don't worry. I understand you have your responsibilities, it's no problem."

Sunoo smiles warmly and closes the distance between them as a way to say goodbye. The kiss is short but still a little intense, "Bye Rua, I'll text you later." He winks, slowly lets go of his palms and leaves.

"Who was that?" a voice rings out on his left.

It's Maki, carrying a large ladder in his arms.

"Sunoo, Euijoo's classmate. What are you doing here?"

"I promised your mom I'd borrow her our ladder."

"Oh, sure." He nods in acknowledgement.

"So, a new boyfriend? You dumped Riwoo after he stood you up?"

"Shut up. You don't get to lecture me about dating when your ass is single."

Maki holds one of his hands in defense, "I'm just asking."

Harua rolls his eyes, "Whatever," he opens the front door wide open and makes room for Maki to go through them, "Get in there."

Harua has been dating Sunoo for a week now, officially dating.

It didn't take them long, Sunoo officially asked Harua out on their Friday night date, then they spent the entire weekend and all of next week's afternoons together.

Harua thinks it's been a fairly fun week. He's had great time that set him in such a good mood, that he didn't even think twice before he forgave Kay for ghosting him for a week.

emayekayeye

this mmo is so dead lol

rururun

it's 3 at night on a friday

people have much better things to do than play this tacky game

emayekayeye

ah

youre right

so what

we're losers

is that it

rururun

youre a loser

im just playing this to let you make up the ghosting to me

emayekayeye

</3

im sorry okay…..

rururun

hey u know whats funny

emayekayeye

what is

rururun

your name

kay

is really similair to my friend's name

emayekayeye

maybe its bc

u came up with it yourself

rururun

u think so?

that i did it subconciously?

emayekayeye

maybe

He laughs as his focus is entirely set on the screen of his computer.

Then his phone rings with a notification.

florist boy

still awake?

Harua giggles.

to florist boy

yes i am

not for long tho

florist boy

me neither

im gonna head to sleep now okay? I'll see you tomorrow

to florist boy

hehe okay

goodnight<3

He doesn't reply for a few seconds, then for a minute and then for two. Harua figures he fell asleep.

He looks back at his computer

emayekayeye

hey r u still there

hell

helloo

i thought we were supposed to grind tonight</3

ruu i miss u

</3

lets play some other time okay?

im lwokey sleepy

goodnight ruu

dream of me

or dont, bc u have a boyfriend

</3

Harua frowns while reading the messages, he forgot to close the chat and was unconsciously leaving every message on read.

He sighs, the last messages bring a smile to his face though.

rururun

i didn't see the texts </3

sorry kay

but yeah, lets play next time

gnight

It doesn't come to Harua as a surprise that the sweet side of Sunoo doesn't really keep their relationship going for long.

He's still very charming throughout the rest of the days they spend together. He's cute and he brings Harua pretty flowers almost every time they see each other - Harua likes anything aesthetically pleasing so he guesses that's kind of a bonus.

But that doesn't overshadow the fact that after spending some more time together, Harua also realizes that he and Sunoo kind of resemble each other. They have a similar type of body language, they're interested in the same things and they have a similar way of thinking.

Harua realizes that they might be too alike, not in a way that they don't get along but in a way that the chemistry between them quickly evaporates.

It's not at all the way Kay said it, it's not that Harua's overly picky or strict, because both him and Sunoo notice that they'd be simply better of as friends.

It doesn't come to Harua as a surprise that the sweet side of Sunoo doesn't really keep their relationship going for long. But what surprises him though, is how ready he was for it.

Now, that should make Harua pause and think why that was for a second.

But it doesn't.

Ever since their school got a little higher budget Harua started hating the sound of chalk on a blackboard. Almost every single classroom is now equipped with a whiteboard and markers or even interactive whiteboards and magnetic pens. It's honestly super fancy.

But on Thursdays, the school runs short on free classrooms, most of the better equipped ones go to the higher grades that are preparing for mock exams, which leaves Harua's class with the one last classroom that still has a blackboard. And chalk, tons of it.

The Japanese class he is now participating in is nearing it's end. They're covering contemporary literature right now, Harua's usually extra invested, but today is not the day.

Thankfully for Harua, Maki is never invested in their Japanese classes, since he never has enough attention span to go off of on a Thursday, three pm.

That's why instead of Japanese literature, Harua can invest in on a play of battleships, on paper of course - they're both men of sophistication.

"B, three." Harua says in a hushed voice.

"Nope," he scribbles on his sheet of paper, "J, two?"

Harua frowns, he scribbles on his own sheet of paper.

"Ha! J, one?"

Harua takes a very deep inhale, "You're cheating."

"Nope, you just don't have as much experience as I do." He grins to him, his words dripping in pride.

"Why? Because i actually pay attention?" Harua bites back.

Maki sticks out his tongue, "I would pay attention if I could."

"Yeah, I know. Hey, do you want to come over today? It's been a while since you visited me and not my mom."

"Listen Shigeta, I am a man with specific tastes."

Harua grimaces with disgust, "Ew."

Maki laughs quietly, "But seriously, I'd love to come."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But I promised my grandma I'd walk with her to the Naganaki Shrine, so maybe after that?"

Harua nods enthusiastically with a smile.

When Harua came home after school, his mom was waiting for him with a chore.

"You always complain that I leave everything to Riki, so I have the perfect errand for you." She said.

Now, Harua would never complain about helping his mom, and he did get happy that there was finally something for him to do. He just didn't expect the chore to be this.

"So… are you also enrolling to Seven sisters?"

The boy tilts his head, "Seven sisters?"

"Uh… Yeah. Seven sister's high school, that's where I go."

"Oh!" The boy - Sakuya, nods.

Sakuya just moved in next door, opposite to Maki's house. His mother and Harua's mother immediately started getting along, chummy as if for years. That's why Harua was assigned to show him around.

The two of them didn't go far. Harua mostly walked around with him around their neighborhood before they settled in the nearby forest.

There isn't anything specifically interesting in there, but the two of them discovered a swing made from an old tire. It seems so out of place here, Harua thought, since no one ever comes to this forest, as they approached it.

"But no, my mom enrolled me to Kasugayama. I'm starting next week."

"Cool, my friend goes there. He's older though."

"So… did he mention whether it was difficult there?" He tilts his head, seeming kind of anxious. No wonder - giving the new school and a completely foreign environment.

"Hmm, I don't think so. Most people complain since it's boys-only though."

"Oh. No, I don't… care for that." He says, abashed.

Harua knits his brows, "For that? For girls, you mean?"

Sakuya flushes and looks away. Harua thinks he's kind of adorable.

Harua smiles, "Hey, it's okay. Listen, I need to go now, but here-" he hands him his phone, "Leave me your number."

Sakuya blinks, surprised, before taking the phone in his hands.

"Your next match is when?"

"In two weeks," Maki says while chewing, "It's pretty important, I don't think Nicho's gonna tag along for more matches." He dives his hand down the bowl for more candy.

Harua, confused, tilts his head, "What do you mean?"

"He might not seem it, but he's stressing out over finals lately. He said he's thinking of leaving the team." Maki frowns.

"Really?" Any trace of his smile falls, "I had no idea."

Maki raises his eyebrows, "I'd think Nicholas' mega-fan would know these things."

"Shut up," Harua frowns, "Not my fault you guys hang out more these days."

"Maybe it's you who doesn't have time for him anymore. Don't tell me you're avoiding him again."

"I'm not," he flushes, "I don't have a reason to. I've just been busy."

In third grade, when their friend group expanded a little from just him and Maki to a group of full nine people - Harua found himself idolizing his older friend a little.

Maybe more than a little.

Right now, when Harua is older, it doesn't seem at all serious. But to a nine year old Shigeta Harua it was everything, it was all or nothing, it had the cost of his entire life.

Harua held this crush, or as he liked to call it romantic admiration, for an embarrassing amount of time - all the way till he turned eleven. That was when he deemed himself old enough for Nicholas to even take him seriously.

Which was quickly proven to be wrong.

Harua never even got to confess, all it took for his everything to fall apart was one conversation he and Maki overheard.

It was a Sunday then and everyone actually came to the movie night. Harua probably wouldn't remember what they were watching if you asked him now, but it was Lego Batman - Fuma's pick.

What he would definitely remember now, was how Nicholas and Euijoo said they're going to be right back, and told everyone they don't have to pause the movie because they had already seen it. It seemed extremely suspicious to him. Maki shared a couple of knowing looks towards Harua before they went for a quick investigation.

Sometimes, Harua thinks of what would happen if they never did.

Them following Euijoo and Nicholas led them to Harua's garden. It was already late and the strong wind made it seem like a storm was coming. Harua remembers Maki asking if he could stay over for a sleepover, Harua knows that he said, that he is always welcome to stay.

And then they heard voices and a small, muffled thud. They were close to the garden tool house, neither of them dared to open the door.

Thankfully, or not, the house had extremely thin, wooden walls - with cracks even - so there was no word that was left unnoticed by them.

Then there was a giggle.

And a smack.

Harua stood frozen, cold sweat on his forehead.

"Nichol, wait. Wouldn't- wouldn't Harua mind?" Euijoo's voice rang inside the house.

"Harua? What about Harua?"

"I mean- don't you think he feels something? For you?"

"…Harua. Harua's like a brother to me, Euijoo."

Harua inhaled deeply and tried to swallow against the painfully dry insides of his mouth.

Maki grabbed his arm.

"Harua," He turned him so they were opposite to each other, "Let's not."

"Huh?"

"We- no, you don't have to listen to this," he looked at him, determined, "Let's go."

Harua nodded weakly and let himself be led away.

A lot of things happened during and after that night. It was only about the four of them - him, Nicholas, Euijoo and Maki - but somehow, it was like everyone knew.

When Harua came home to the rest of his five friends, by himself and dripping wet, he just said he wasn't feeling well and left with a short "my mom will lock up after you guys leave."

After this, Harua spent an entire month not talking to Nicholas. It's not like any of this was his fault. But he just couldn't bring himself to - considering everything that has happened.

"It's probably all those boyfriends of yours," Maki's voice brings him back from his thoughts, "You don't have time for your friends anymore."

There is no bite or venom in his tone as he says it, he's acting completely playful, but somehow it still makes Harua feel restless in a way - possibly because of the recollections from just a minute ago.

Harua stuffs his mouth with candy, "That's so not true. You're the one who barely attends movie Sundays." he mumbles, mouth full.

Maki scratches his head, "Sorry 'bout that, I've been anxious about the matches lately. I'm doing some extra practice with Intak and he only has time on Sundays."

"Oh," Harua swallows the last bids of jelly, "No it's okay, I understand. At least we don't have to watch that JoJo movie without context again." He rolls his eyes

"Harua you didn't need context for it! It's literally the first arc of the anime, all you needed to do was focus." He frowns.

"So you're saying," He says unconvinced, "Anyway, remind me the day before the match and I'll be there." Harua smiles

"Sure. Try not to make any boyfriends plans for then."

Harua scoffs, "I'm not even dating anyone right now."

"You're not?" Maki's eyes widen.

Harua shakes his head, "Nope, me and Sunoo broke up a couple of days back."

"Oh, are you okay?"

Harua winces, "Of course. It wasn't anything serious."

Maki can't hold his smile at that.

"What?"

"What?" Maki echoes.

"Why are you grinning like that?"

Maki huffs, "I'm not." He says, still smiling.

Harua's forehead wrinkles, "Okay…" he says, again unconvinced, "Hey, do you wanna stay over? You know you're always welcome to stay."

"Oh," Maki looks like he's taken off guard, "I would, but I doubt my mom will be fine with that, it is a school night."

Harua pouts, "It's been so many years, I can't believe your mom still won't let you stay on a Thursday."

"Sorry Rua," he smiles apologetically.

Harua doesn't remember how he got here.

All he knows is that it's raining and it's dark.

All he feels is that his world is collapsing.

"…rua it's okay."

Huh.

"..'s okay. It doesn't have to matter." Someone says again, Harua doesn't know who - he's looking down.

"What are you even saying…?" Harua whispers, as a response, against himself. His voice is shaking.

"What I'm saying, is that it doesn't have to be only him." That makes Harua's head rise.

It's Maki. His hair is soaking wet and he's completely flushed.

He's going to get sick.

Harua sighs, defeated, "But it is him. It was always him." he says, weakly.

Maki gets closer, he takes Harua's face in his wet palms. It doesn't matter since the entirety of Harua's face is similarly dripping.

Maki looks deeply into his eyes, his own eyes twitching with hesitation before he says, "Couldn't it-" he swallows, "Couldn't it be me… also?"

"What? That doesn't-" he takes a second to think, nothing comes up, "I never-"

Maki's hands drop from Harua's face, then his gaze falls down to his shoes, eyes half closed with disappointment. His bottom lip trembles before he forms a forced smile, 'Yeah, I-" his voice cracks, he clears his throat, "-sorry." he runs his hands through his wet hair and steps back.

"No it's-" Harua chases Maki with his hand, "It's um-" He tries to think of what to say. His mind is blank.

"I… I need to go." Maki sends him one last look before he leaves him by himself.

He leaves him before Harua can even sort out his mind.

And when he becomes at least a little conscious, panic overwhelms him.

Need to go?

Why are you leaving me now?

Of all times?

Thunder erupts, the wind gets more intense and he isn't sure if his eyes are heavy from the rainwater or his tears.

"Maki-" he whispers.

He's in his room. Uncertain on when he woke up or since when is he sitting.

He inhales shakily, he's not crying but his eyes sting.

He grabs his phone, it's 3 am, he sends two messages to two people, and waits anxiously.

rururun

hey u awake

to maki

hey u awake

Out of them, it's Maki who responds.

maki

yeah

whatsup?

to maki

can i call?

maki

of course

---

"I propose," says Taki, generously, "That Maki should have a free pass to choose the movie tonight."

Yuma scoffs, "Someone who bails all the time shouldn't have any free passes," he crosses his arms, "But those who attend every time should."

On their super-secret-group chat that consists of Taki, Harua, Yuma and Jo - those who are either on all of the movie nights, or most of them - a discussion erupted.

jojo

i meant it when i said we cant force them into it

i think that might make things end badly

taki🍒

ugh

but its always just us four

occasionally euijoo or kei come

to jojo, yuukun!, taki🍒

theyll come around eventually

but making them feel bad bc theyre busy will be a dick move

yuukun!

busy

are u insinuating that nicholas wang is busy?

hes not coming bc he doesnt feel like it

to jojo, yuukun!, taki🍒

he has finals too you know

yuukun!

yeah right ^ - ˕ -マ≼

and maki?

to jojo, yuukun!, taki🍒

he has his own things

jojo

we could always just

encourage them to come

taki🍒

encourage?

jojo

yeah

like a

treat?

yuukun!

theyre not dogs jojo ₍^◞ ‸ ◟^₎⟆

jojo

no like

everytime you come u get a free movie pick

or u dont chip in for snacks

kind of thing

to jojo, yuukun!, taki🍒

wait

that could work

The four of them decided on either of the two things that Yuma and Taki proposed. They either settle on Taki's approach - if you finally come after a long time, you get a free movie pick, or Yuma's approach - if you get the best attendance score through the month, you get a free movie pick at the end of it.

Today, eight out of nine came - only Kei being absent.

"Well, I think it's quite obvious," Euijoo starts, "Yuma's idea makes a lot more sense."

"Thank you!"

Nicholas pouts, "I like Taki's more."

Yuma huffs, annoyed, "You're only saying that because you know you're not gonna attend much."

"No, I'm saying that because I'd love to come when I'll be able to, he on the other hand," he points at Euijoo, "is agreeing with Yuma, because he knows we won't come anytime soon. He's letting you guys-" he gesticulates towards Yuma, Harua, Taki, and Jo, "get free movies easily."

Harua doesn't really care for what they decide on. Taki's idea makes people come sometimes, but at all. Yuma makes them come either not at all or frequently.

Harua just wishes Maki would show up more than once a month.

After a while of conversation they agree to test Taki's idea first.

"Let's try it at least. If it really feels rewarding to those who can't come that much, then we will stick to it. If it won't work, we'll try Yuma's approach." Fuma said.

Now, Fuma is the rational one. He loves to joke around and prank his friends, but when they talk even mildly seriously he's the sensible one.

They spend the rest of the night watching The Greatest Showman.

At the beginning Harua tried his best to focus, but first of all - there's not enough Zendaya, and second of all - a certain someone suddenly remembered his existence.

sakupyon

if u say i look like a guinea pig

then why pyon?

to sakupyon

well

what sounds does a guinea pig make

sakupyon

um idk

a sqeual?

to sakupyon

so do i call you sakusqeual then? :p

sakupyon

please dont …

Harua giggles under his breath. He raises his head to the movie for a second - Hugh Jackman is currently having a bad time, so nothing new.

to sakupyon

hey wanna hang out after school tomorrow? like get coffee

sakupyon

of course

im done with classes at 2

to sakupyon

then

ill meet you in front of my house at 3?

sakupyon

great!!

Harua smiles.

"Who are you texting?" Maki whispers next to him.

"Hm? Oh, Sakuya."

Maki perks up, "Sakuya? As in neighbour Sakuya?"

"Yep. Do you know each other already?"

Maki chews on popcorn, "Yeah, bumped into to him yesterday."

"He's real cute."

"Cute?" Maki knits his eyebrows, "Didn't know you were interested in younger guys."

Huh.

Harua didn't know either.

"I don't discriminate." He rolls his eyes.

After a bit of conversation, both Sakuya and Harua decided that neither of them particularly like coffee, so they get milk tea instead.

Harua declared that he knows a good place - because he does, he and Taki are regular visitors at the small shop in the center of the town.

"Brown sugar? That's your order?" Sakuya asks, "I would've sworn you're a Taro guy."

"Eugh," Harua winces in disgust, "My friend is, I tried it once and it's seriously the worst."

Sakuya pouts, offended, "Hey, I like it. Your friend has good taste."

"I don't know about that," Harua says, not at all convinced, "But you should meet. Taki's pretty cool when he tries to be."

"I'd love to meet your friend," He smiles, "I mean, I don't know many people here so…"

"Oh right, you just moved," Harua pouts, thinking, "But I've heard you met Maki?"

"Maki? Yeah we talked for a bit. He seemed in a rush, though."

"Oh. He's normally very friendly, though."

Sakuya brightens, "I'm sure."

The date, or rather, the meet up goes well. They talk for a couple of hours, their conversation sometimes mixed with awkward silence, then they walk home together.

It's nice, Sakuya is a fun guy.

Not much aside from that.

But when Harua thinks that there's something missing, he just figures he needs to spend more time with him.

Harua scrolls through his last messages with Kay.

emayekayeye

ruu

sorry i was sleeping

u wanted to play ?

rururun

yeah

theres no rest or sleep for the wicked !!! we need to grind kay !!!

They haven't played in a while. Harua knows little to nothing about Kay's personal life but he figures he must be really busy to ghost Harua this much.

And while he's scrolling on his laptop, he has Sakuya on call.

"-He's pretty cool. And you know how we have those boring blue uniforms? Well he-"

He says something, it could be important but Harua just can't focus.

rururun

hey kay

i miss u):

He sighs, it's bugging him more than he thought. It's not that they talk everyday, but lately they just never seem to find each other at the same time.

Harua thinks he'd do anything to play innocent sin with Kay right now.

"So what do you think?" Well, shoot. He was expecting more of a meaningless rambling, not exactly something aimed at him.

"Um. What?"

"About Riku. And adjusting the uniforms."

"Oh. Yeah I'm all for creativity you know. Cute clothes too."

"I think so too! Anyway, I gotta go, but I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course."

"Great, Bye then! Love you!"

Harua stays silent, stunned.

Then he responds, shortly, "Bye." and hangs up.

Uhh.

The first classes passed in a blur and before he knows it, he's done for the day.

"There's a new internet café opening nearby. Want to check it out together?" Maki asks.

They're by the lockers now, Harua's changing his shoes.

Harua thinks that an internet café with Maki sounds like a blessing right now.

"Um. Sure but I have plans today."

"M'kay. What kind of plans?"

Harua sighs deeply, "I have a date. With Sakuya."

"Sakuya?"

"Yeah we- spent some more time together lately."

"Cool. Have fun," Maki says skeptically, "Hey?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you forcing yourself like that?"

"Forcing myself?" Harua winces, "No I- I'm not. I just don't feel like going out that's it."

"Right," he nods, "Okay. See you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah. I'll let you know about the café later okay?"

As Harua leaves, he feels the school working like a magnet because he just really wants to stay there. With Maki.

Maybe even go to that stupid café and play any possible mind-numbing games and just… hang out.

When Harua waits for Sakuya in the park, a miracle occurs - Kay comes back from the dead.

emayekayeye

ruu….

sorry

i missed u too ive just been real busy </3

rururun

its fine i understand

i kept myself busy anyway

emayekayeye

im sure u did ruu

i wont have time for iso any time soon tho

i have some important things this weekend

rururun

its fine

but dont ignore me here

emayekayeye

i wont i promise

seriously plz forgive me

):

i cant wait to hang out asap

rururun

i forgive u

but i gotta go

ill text u later

make sure to text me back

"Hey were you waiting long?" Sakuya asks as he gets closer to him, there are flowers in his hands, "Here. This is for you." He hands him a bouquet of mostly lavender and a couple of roses.

It's pretty and purple. But the fragrance is so intense that it makes Harua's head spin.

"Thank you, I love them." He says calmly.

Harua looks at the bouquet a little more, he immediately gets reminded of Sunoo. He wonders how he's doing, I should probably text him.

Harua has no idea what's the plan for the date, Sakuya said he's thought everything out by himself.

"So, where are we going?"

"I looked up the prettiest parts of the town and the results were unanimous," He smiled, confidently and proudly, "Our goal today is the Naganaki shrine."

Now, Harua cannot lie that the Naganaki shrine is beautiful. And Sakuya isn't lying - it's the place that their town is most proud of.

But it's not a place for the natives of the city - rather for tourists.

So Harua lets out a weak "Oh." Before they make their walk towards the shrine.

Harua wouldn't mind going to a tourist attraction for a date if they at least had something to do there. But unless you're at least sixty years old, or unusually fond of praying - this place is extremely boring.

As they make their way there, their conversation painfully never clicks. They try talking about school or even anything but school - but surely, they drained all their possible conversation topics the day before in the milk tea shop.

They arrive, for a while Harua's alongside Sakuya as the other walks around and, with never being in the place before, admires the scenery. They quickly run out of things to look at so they settle on the playground nearby, more specifically the swings.

"By the way," Sakuya starts, "About the thing I said at the end of the call-"

"No, it's okay Sakuya. Really."

"Really?" He asks, his eyes wide and shining.

"Yeah. Don't worry about it, I understand." Harua says, thinking he's going easy on Sakuya.

Truth be told, he agreed to this date to turn him down gently.

That's why he doesn't see it coming when, Sakuya stands up from his swing and stands over him, smiling warmly before leaning down and leaning in. Harua doesn't understand what's happening immediately. Actually, he doesn't understand what's happening right until Sakuya's lips are already on his.

Harua keeps sitting frozen on the swing. Closed eyed Sakuya is right in front of him, he's moving his lips awkwardly before he realises that Harua isn't kissing him back.

Now - Harua loves kissing. He loves making out for hours and anything that makes his head spinning or his heartbeat rise, any intimate action that keeps his mind occupied in that enjoyable way.

But what happens with Sakuya isn't enjoyable, it makes him feel anxious and it clenches his heart with an overwhelming guilt.

He gently grabs Sakuya's arms and slightly pushes him away, "Sakuya." His tone is almost one of a whisper, he wants to lay out his mind delicately but without it sounding like pity.

"Huh-"

"Sakuya, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but I just- I don't feel the same."

It's been a while since Harua turned someone down like that. But when he does, a lump in his throat suddenly grows and a certain memory rises in his head.

Ever since Harua's crush on Nicholas reached it's tragic end he has been a little obsessed with the definition and practice of love. Or rather dating.

Even though he called it a romantic kind of admiration, Harua cannot lie that what he felt for two years for Nicholas was it's own kind of love. Maybe the details of it weren't on point, maybe the person he actually loved wasn't there-

-or maybe that's what he said to himself to soften the blow.

Harua has no idea.

Maybe if that night ended with just that - just the unplanned, indirect rejection, then maybe it would've been easier.

Maybe then, he wouldn't be tormented with that sad, devastated look on Maki's face on regular basis. Maybe then, he wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night, haunted by what he could've said or did better.

He really wishes he could just focus on getting rejected. Focus on being compared to being brother-like by the person he liked.

But instead, he gets to focus on the guilt and the heaviness of wounding the bond he had with his person, irreversibly, for years.

Middle school was definitely an experimental time for Harua. It was the first time ever when Harua tasted what it's like being wanted shallowly.

His first ever boyfriend was an older guy, a senior at his school - Jaehyun. They were together for quite some time, mostly because Harua wasn't sure how to break things off.

After a while, he found a way to just brush the break up off as a You don't have time for me because of school. I understand and it's okay, but let's take a break.

A new one came soon after Jaehyun, Haru didn't last long though - the similar names annoyed them both to the core and Harua wasn't sure if younger guys were for him.

And when Hanbin and Zhang hao - second years, just a year older than him - asked him to join their throuple, Harua tried it. Ultimately, he decided that it wasn't his thing - three people was way too crowded for a relationship. Even for one that isn't meant to last.

Harua doesn't necessarily think it's a problem. He knows there's always a stop to these eventually, but he doesn't acknowledge it fully consciously either.

After his unsuccessful date with Sakuya, Harua thinks and spirals for an entire night.

Normally, a kiss that doesn't feel quite pleasant wouldn't make him dwell on shit. But a kiss that makes him drip of anxiety does worry him. A little more than a bit.

Then the rejection came.

Harua almost forgot lately how uncomfortable that makes him feel.

He feels sick - at the memories of Sakuya's eyes, at the memories of the garden tool house, also at the recollection of Maki's dripping wet hair and his trembling, defeated voice.

He sighs shakily, leaning his head against the cold wall of his room. It's already apparent to him that dealing with any kind of rejection doesn't come easy to him. The way of managing it, that he's developed through all this time, is questionable at best.

That's why he finds himself painfully ruminating after the events of today.

He really, seriously needs a distraction.

The person that Harua started spending extra more time with, ever since Maki joined the basketball team, is Yuma.

It's been a long while since that, but Harua still reckons that the time they spend together has it's own separate meaning. Not the same kind of the time they spend together as a part of the group of nine.

Yuma has always been his kind of person, a little annoying and a little too teasing, but Harua has to admit that there is no one quite like Yuma.

"So what you're saying… is that dating isn't doing the trick anymore?"

Harua groans, "Something like that."

He explained his Sakuya problem to him in small bits, how the date went and how antsy he's felt ever since.

"What I think, is that you should do something a little less committed."

"Less committed?"

"You throw yourself on all those relationships, and even though they mean nothing - commitment is the definition of anxiety. You'll never get the satisfaction you need if you stick to that. Non-commitment is that something you need."

Yuma smiles and gets closer, he runs his hand through the side of Harua's hair.

Harua smirks, "And that something is supposed to be with you?"

"I mean, why not?" Yuma tilts his head, his eyes gleaming with something in between of dead serious and smug.

Yuma is looking at him challengingly and he looks so beautiful that Harua wonders, how on earth did that never pass his mind before?

Through all those years, how is today the first time he'll kiss Nakakita Yuma?

Harua bites his lip, Ah what the hell.

He grabs Yuma sharply by his neck and closes any last trace of distance between them.

Yuma mirrors it, resting his hand on Harua's cheek now, deepening their shared kiss before sliding his other hand under Harua's shirt. Yuma squeezes his waist and brings them even closer.

"So-" he pants in between kisses, "What is it that you want to distract yourself from so badly?"

That takes Harua a little off guard, but before he can overthink anything Yuma captures his lips again.

"Eh- Mhmm-?"

Yuma nudges Harua backward a little so he lands on the bed. Yuma kneels over his lap.

Harua brings his hands to Yuma's head, burying them in his silky, thick locks. He runs his nails on Yuma's scalp as he tugs on his hair.

Harua's heartbeat rapidly increases as Yuma's kisses him from his lips, through his cheek, all the way towards the edge of his ear.

Harua twitches and grabs Yuma by his chin, "-stop that." His voice comes out unstable. He feels himself flush as he trembles from Yuma's cheeky initiative.

Yuma giggles, "So what's the verdict Shigeta?"

"Verdict?" Harua asks weakly. As Yuma blindly wanders through his bare waist and his back, Harua settles both of his palms on the other's torso.

"Yeah. Are you ready to be honest? Or are we doing this?"

Harua sighs heavily, his vision jumping from Yuma's intense stare to his lips.

Call Harua greedy, but right now - Yuma seems like just the answer to his troubles.

He can always be honest from tomorrow right?

He captures the lips that are perfectly displayed on the level of his eyes, grabs him by the collar, and pushes him so they both lie on the bed.

Minute long kisses turn to an hour long make out. And for the first time in a while, Harua gets to enjoy, to distract himself, how Yuma called it, without having to end it with that tiring feeling he's felt for the past, long while.

Harua leaves Yuma's house that night with silly meaningless bite marks on his collarbones, no bounds and only the regular heavy, guilty baggage he's felt since he was eleven.

That - along with one missed text message. On the way home he checks it.

It's Maki, reminding him about tomorrows match.

It might be the hottest weekend this year yet. Or that's at least what Harua thinks, as he's putting on a tank top.

He has his own policy when it comes to clothes and styling, and one of the important rules he has, is that he looks best in knee-length shorts when hes wearing a long-sleeve with that.

But today is far too hot for that, so he throws on a tank top instead. He cringes as he looks at the bland state of his appearance , but he sucks it up.

Today is Saturday, the day of the basketball match and the day of Nicholas' departure from the team.

maki

btw we cant go together

i have to be there extra early

to maki

oh okay

of course

ill see you there then?

maki

yep!!!

Harua would be absolutely fine with walking there by himself, the match's court is actually not far at all. But then an idea comes to him.

to yuukun!

hey want to go together today?

i can come pick u up

yuukun!

you kiss a guy once and hes all over you /ᐠ - ˕ -マ

to yuukun!

nvm then

die

yuukun!

haru im kidding!!

lets go together ₍^˵◝ ⩊ ◜˵^₎Ⳋ

ill be ready at 2 sharp

to yuukun!

…ok

see u

yuukun!

see ya

ദ്ദി/ᐠ｡‸｡ᐟ\

to yuukun!

݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆

Harua doesn't look like it, but he really likes basketball.

He got really hooked on it when the three of his friends joined the team. He even attended every match he could ever since.

Yuma on the other hand - he came around much later.

He told all of them the story, how he got this awful injury once, how he's been salty ever since about anything competitive-sports related.

Everyone knew there was no reason to ever push him to come, but he eventually did.

"Hey, did you bring any water?" Harua asks, dragging his overheated body. It's way too hot.

"'Course," He reaches for the bottle in his bag, "It's scorching hot outside and you didn't even take water with you?"

"I forgot, it wasn't that bad yesterday."

"It's only gonna get worse from now on."

A big perk to the basketball games is that usually all nine of them attend - ever since Yuma started coming without much explanations.

It's not like magically Kei, Fuma, and Euijoo found the time, but the games are the occasions for them to push their responsibilities aside. At least for one afternoon.

When Yuma and Harua arrive at the pitch, they get a message from Kei that their spots on the bleachers are already secured and that they can come whenever.

Of course, Harua plans to find Nicholas, Jo and Maki first and wish them good luck before settling down for the match. Before he does find them, fate brings him and Yuma to Taki instead.

He's leaning against the lattice construction with his phone in his hands. He looks almost like he was waiting for them

Yuma grins, coming up to him in light jog, "Taki! How'd you know?"

He raises his head at his friends' voice, "How'd I know what?" and tilts it.

"That we'd be here."

"Oh. Nah, I'm waiting for Euijoo, we were supposed to get snacks toge-"

He stops in his words, gaze settled on the two before him, frozen.

He looks. He blinks repeatedly. Looks again.

Harua and Yuma share confused glances between each other.

"What?" Yuma inquires, confused.

"Huh? Oh, no- nothing," He clears his throat, "Euijoo's talking to Nicho right now, they're sitting by the reserve bench. Maki and Jo are also there, if you still want to catch them."

"Cool. We'll see you on the bleachers then?" Harua asks to which Taki responds with a nod, "Oh- and get me a soda."

Sure enough, as Taki said - the four of their friends are occupying the reserve bench, talking by it enthusiastically. Harua takes in the sight of them, of Jo looking determined, of Maki looking relaxed but excited, and of Nicholas… looking oddly sad.

When they get closer, Yuma immediately puts his hand on Jo's hair - ruffling in playfully, "Hiya." the grin plastered on his face makes Harua's heart soften with reassurance.

The first few matches Yuma attended consisted of him barely or not speaking at all - he was visibly still acclimatizing.

After a while of him coming to the games, Harua asked him, gently, what made him do so.

"I was tired of feeling like a dick for blowing off my friends like that," he sighed shakily, "It's selfish. Completely. But I mostly did it for myself. For fighting my regrets also."

If someone once asked Harua before, if he thought that the three of his friends joining the basketball team would make him and Yuma closer. He wouldn't deny, he would just ask why. Because why would it?

He's still not sure why exactly it turned out like this, but it made their bond deeper, it made it significant and it completely switched the way they felt about each other.

Harua likes basketball a lot, he always did and the three of his friends made him hooked on it more.

But it was Yuma who made this sport so meaningful, even somewhat cathartic.

Harua comes up to Nicholas, keeping in mind his not-so-cheerful state, "Hey, what's up?"

He groans a bit, "I'm fine. It just sucks to say goodbye. Also I don't want to fuck anything up."

Euijoo scratches Nicholas' arm comfortingly, "Don't worry, you're gonna do great. Besides, there's also basketball in college, you know?"

Harua nods, "Yeah. Just try to have fun and enjoy it." He smiles at him.

Nicholas takes Harua's cheeks in his palms, rubbing them playfully. He thanks them both, saying he'll do his best since everyone came and it would be unfair otherwise.

"Hey, Harua. Aren't you gonna wish me good luck too?" It's Maki, poking his bare arm.

Harua turns to him. He's seen Maki before games before and he's always seriously pumped, antsy to do his best on the court but he's never nervous. Harua really admires him for that, he's sure he'd be a wreck before matches.

"Well, do you need it? You better do a great job, otherwise all this bailing on us and those extra practice with Intak will go to waste." Harua says snarky, his smile sly.

Maki smiles widely at him, his eyes shining. He's about to respond after taking in the sight of Harua as a whole, but suddenly his smile falls. His bottom lip twitches a little before he slightly curves the corners of his mouth - his new formed smile almost looking like it hurts. "Um, Yeah."

Harua blinks confused. Maki usually plays along with anything sarcastic he says so he's… not sure what happened here, "I'm joking," He assures and smiles nervously, but gently, "Good luck to you, but I'm sure you'll do great."

Maki nods, "Yeah, I uh- I still need to catch coach before the game so- I'll see you later, Harua."

He leaves Harua by himself, only with the sounds of their friends behind his back. There's barely anything running through Harua's head right now, aside from at least a dozen question marks and puzzlement.

"By the way, Harua," Nicholas starts speaking so he turns to him swiftly. Harua notices that Euijoo left already, "What's up with those matching bruises?" He laughs, "Didn't take you guys for such flashy types."

Matching bruises?

"What?"

Nicholas tilts to his left, towards where Yuma and Jo are talking. Then he forms his lips into a mocking smirk.

He points near his own neck, "The marks? Yuma has an identical one."

Marks-

He unconsciously wanders with fingers over his collarbone.

"Uhh well-"

"Haru-kun! Let's go," Yuma interrupts his attempted explanation, he grins and takes Harua by the wrist, "They should take a breather before the game."

"Right- Jo, good luck to you too." He adds weakly before they leave for the bleachers.

They join the others, already sitting on their previously secured spots.

"Taki, stop drinking from my soda."

Taki just sticks his tongue out and hands Harua the drink, "You seriously should cover it up. What if someone notices?" he whispers after a moment.

Harua sighs slightly, "Too late." Taki eyes him with confusion.

The game starts excitingly. It takes barely a heartbeat for Nicholas to score, seemingly not wanting to leave any regrets.

"Nicho's doing such a good job today." Kei praises.

"Yeah, but-" Yuma winces as he looks at the court, invested, "Maki seems- well, lost."

Yuma's right, Maki's basically wandering around all the other players - very unlike him. His face is also full of distraught. Harua suddenly worries, a lot.

At first he just thought he was overthinking it, but with Yuma pointing it out - the reality is crystal clear.

Harua swallows, thinking he'd get rid of the stress by passing as well - it's no use, as he thought.

He thinks of the situation from mere minutes ago. He thinks of what Nicho pointed out as well.

He inhales deeply, then similarly exhales. Taki and Fuma on his right are going through a discussion about how games like these should be cancelled during this intense heat.

"They're put in serious danger, the risks of overheating or even strokes are high." Taki states.

"That is true," Fuma agrees, "But there are seriously so many factors when it comes to events like these. Way too many different things are involved to cancel it so abruptly."

Taki groans.

"Don't worry, they'll be fine. Besides, I'm sure Maki is just distracted, it's not about him having a stroke."

"That's- not what I had in mind at all." Taki frowns, abashed.

So that's what he had in mind.

Harua tunes in on the game again, their team is winning but only by a thread. Currently Jo is doing a free throw and successfully scores them one point.

"You know, I think they'll quickly get the upper hand." Euijoo says reassuringly and nods.

A while passes, as well as a two whole quarters.

And they're not getting an upper hand. Not for now at least.

Their schools' basketball team is actually really good. Most of the games Harua attends aren't even stressful with how well they're doing. So, today- today is quite different.

They're still winning, but only by two points at once. But what is more worrying, is how distressed their friends seem. Especially Maki.

He's visibly trying to do his best, but Harua thinks the amount of blocking he's receiving and the amount of missed throws are getting to him.

"Hey… do you think we should walk down to them? Cheer them up during their next break?"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Yuma grimaces, "I think that might overwhelm them more. Let's just have faith." He nods.

So they stay faithful, through the whole third quarter and through the beginning of the fourth one.

But then - the score gets really risky. They're going head to head and it's not just Maki who's looking nervous, it's the entire team, the coach even.

Then, Maki takes control of the ball almost confidently. There's this energy to him that no one saw through out the entire game.

Harua smiles in relief, the words He's got it immediately appearing in his mind.

He dribbles while looking around, He's definitely analyzing every player around as we spea-

He looses his focus, his eyes get lost, blank even. The opposing team's player steals the ball.

The six of them share one, loud gasp.

The other guy scores his team two points.

Fuma lets out a muffled curse. Yuma can't help the very obvious fuck that slips out.

The nerves quickly take over all of them. There's no time - one of them would have to score a three-pointer to get ahead.

And after spending the next two minutes in suspense, Nicholas does just that - a throw from the middle of the court, landing perfectly.

When they come down to greet their friends, they're met with five exhausted players.

"Hey," Euijoo says lightly, "Congratulations on the win."

"Yeah," Nicholas pants, "Thanks, the emotions still didn't die down. The exhaustion didn't either."

"You guys can be proud of yourselves, this was seriously a tough battle," Yuma nods, then turns to Maki, "Especially since you guys were against six people, not five. Seriously Maki, where was your head at?"

Harua tries to interrupt, "Hey I don't think-"

"What the fuck?" Maki's eyes are wide, visibly not taking the offense well, "What is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem. I'm just wondering why you're fumbling Nicholas' last game."

Maki gets closer to him, pushing him slightly but provocatively, "I cant believe it's you who's saying that. It's not like you could play better, not with this knee at least."

"What."

Nicholas tries getting in between them and raises his voice a little, "Hey-"

"What did you say?" Yuma asks, visibly pissed off.

Maki and Yuma picking on each other is nothing new, but this - things were never serious like that between them.

"I'm saying," he looks down on Yuma, "That your fucked up knee wouldn't do shit on this court."

Jo comes near and rests his hand on Yuma's shoulder, "Don't listen to him. He is spatting nonsense because he's tired."

Yuma immediately brushes his hand off.

He looks at Maki dead in the eye, "Take it back," he grits his teeth, "All of it. Say you didn't mean it."

Maki scoffs, "Fuck you, Yuma."

Maki goes past him, purposefully bumping their shoulders, and past all their other friends as well.

Harua watches him take a turn, weirdly not towards their street, and disappear behind it. Everything in him is screaming that he should follow him. He looks back to Yuma.

Yuma stands there, frozen, he looks blankly ahead - visibly working through what just happened in his head.

Fuma comes up to him, "Yuma-"

"No I-" he swallows, "I need to get out of here." He leaves as well, going right, the opposite direction to Maki.

Seconds pass and before Harua can overthink it, he's exiting the court as well.

He walks, and walks, not sure which turn he took.

After a while he realizes where he went, he understands the second he is entering the same park he's been to recently.

It's Maki, he's sitting on the curb. Looking pissed- or maybe just in nerves.

"Hey," He swallows, "Listen, I know you did your best, I'm sure Yuma didn't mean any of it. He was just trying to be snarky or something."

Maki scoffs, "Right. Of course you're the one explaining him."

"Wha- what do you mean?" Harua asks, nervously.

"You think I'm stupid or something?"

"What, no of course not-"

Maki gets up, "Well it sure seems like it. That, or you're purposefully making fun of me." His gaze falls down to Harua's upper torso for a second.

What even.

Harua winces in confusion, "Making fun of you? Maki- what got you so on edge?"

Maki laughs, there's no humor to it though. He finally looks at him with his defeated eyes, "Seriously Harua. Would you date literally anyone but me?"

What.

"What?"

"All those random guys I understood. It seemed odd to me but I tried my best to understand. But Yuma? Are you fucking serious?", he gets closer to him. Harua always knew that Maki is taller, but only now he's realizing how much taller, "And now, what are you doing? You're coming here, trying to explain for your new boyfriend? Don't make me laugh."

"Yuma isn't-"

"Don't give me that shit." Maki looks at him with the coldest stare he's ever felt and suddenly they're back in that stupid garden, during that stupid storm - but with the situation completely twisted.

"Seriously, please let me explain." Harua begs his voice unstable, he tries to grab Maki by the wrist but the other quickly moves his arm away.

"I'm sorry but- I can't possibly talk to you right now."

It's still scorching hot outside when Harua's left with no one but himself, but somehow it feels like the rain has fallen again.

Harua didn't spot Maki at all on his way home. He thinks of visiting and at least asking his mom about it, but he doesn't have it in him.

He sends a message to Yuma when he gets home.

to yuukun!

hey, please let me know if youre okay

He throws himself on his chair, turning on his laptop. He feels like texting Maki, his entire body screams to text Maki and try to explain himself again.

After Harua's poor way of handling the situation from back in the garden, both of them fell into this awkward state. They weren't not talking to each other per se - it was completely different from how Harua treated Nicholas once - but there was this distance that appeared between them, like neither of them was sure how to act.

It honestly gave them both a whiplash, this uncertainty was practically alien to their ever so comfortable and stable friendship. And now - he feels that distance, from when they were kids, rising up again.

It's not all the same, back then he felt like he was staying silent on something, like there was constantly something unsaid, something he had to regulate and maybe even apologize for.

But right now as he's sitting in his room, lost in what-ifs, he's sure that he has to apologize for something, his mind is not close to being cleared, but it's like a cold bucket of water and realizations is being slowly poured down on him - drenching him and making him tremble.

But yet he hesitates, not sure of what to do and how to act.

He hesitates and turns to the last possible source of comfort.

rururun

hey

do u have some time to play?

He gets an answer oddly quickly.

emayekayeye

yeah

but like

in 10 mins or so

imnot home

rururun

okay ill wait

god im having the worst night ever

emayekayeye

tell me about it

wait sorry

im just in this shitty mood, sorry abt that

rururun

no i understand

want to let it out on iso? :p

emayekayeye

so badly

rururun

u can always

talk to me about it too

i actually realized recently

i dont know that much about u

emayekayeye

actually

it might do me some good

to uh

vent

rururun

go ahead!

emayekayeye

so today i

completely fucked up my game

like i let my team down

i let my friends down too

and then i had a bunch of difficult conversations

everythings actually shit about today

Harua furrows his eyebrows.

rururun

game?

what kind of game

emayekayeye

basketball

i didnt score shit

i was poorly controlling the ball too

i was just awful basically

Harua stares at the screen, thoughts flooding his mind second after second.

emayekayeye

and the conversations

well

one of my friends critiqued me

and i snapped at him

said so much cruel bullshit

and then i let out my entire rage on someone i

someone who matters so much

dude i jsut fucked up SO bad

Harua blinks.

No way.

His heart beats insanely fast.

No fucking way.

sorry

here i am

being so fucking self centered

when i know youre having a bad time too

actually sorry

im almost home but

i dont think me playing is a good idea

Harua's hands tremble as he traces his fingers on his keyboard.

rururun

oh its

its fine dont worry

i need to get going actually so its okay

ill

talk to you tomorrow okay?

emayekayeye

sure:]

Harua gets up from his chair so suddenly it almost falls behind him.

"I'm almost home but I don't think me playing is a good idea"

He takes a couple of heavy inhales and exhales before he bursts out of his room.

Harua waits in front of Maki's house for three minutes before he can see the outline of a silhouette in the distance.

It's Maki, his hands are in the pockets of his shorts, he's looking at his shoes and not paying any mind to what's ahead.

Harua stands up abruptly, as if burned.

He watches Maki get closer, and braces himself for the conversation he was supposed to have ages ago, and when Maki's eyes turn forward for barely a second, he freezes.

After what looks like taking a couple breaths, Maki resumes his walk and before they both know it, they are beside each other.

Maki is before him, he's centimeters away from him, but Harua still feels too big of a distance between them, a distance he's been chasing to tear down for years.

He closes his eyes shut, bracing himself for all of that's to say - from both him and Maki.

And just as he's about to open them and speak, there's a heavy pressure on his shoulders. Not even seconds later he feels that same pressure everywhere, on his torso, near his head and on his back.

And instead, Harua squeezes his eyes even more when he realizes that Maki is embracing him tightly, with his hands clasped around his hips.

Then Harua hears this drained, spent voice, "I'm sorry." and it's not coming from him.

"What?" Harua dares to look and turns his head a little. Maki's face is completely hidden in his shoulder, only his dark, disheveled hair visible. Harua shakily sighs, "What are you apologizing for?"

Maki unwinds them from the embrace and walks back a couple of steps.

"I'm sorry, for how I acted earlier. The way I selfishly snapped was just so not justified. Forgive me."

Harua shivers with frustration at the word. Maki's here, calling himself selfish when he's been the most altruistic person for all the years that they've known each other.

"No- Maki. Maki, It's me who should be apologizing right now. I didn't even realize that I was - basically, unintentionally mocking you with that bruise."

"Harua, you don't have to apologize for that. Intentionally or not, it's your life and you shouldn't adjust it to my liking like that," He smiles sadly, "You don't have to protect me by not showing me what I don't want to see. I'm not fragile like that."

Harua shakes his head, "No- Maki, it's not even about that. There are so many things that I actually have to apologize for. I was awful to you all this time.Awful for running from you, for hurting you, for being insensitive when I knew so damn well-"

"Harua it's okay. It's not like I was particularly vocal about anything."

Harua feels himself trembling as he responds, "It's not like you had to,

Maki you - you always deserved an acknowledgement from me about that night-"

Nerves spill out on Maki's eyes at the words, "Harua- no, we- we don't have to talk about that anymore. It's-" Maki's voice gets smaller.

Harua's not listening, "I should've talked to you about it immediately or the day after but- I didn't know how." his voice breaks mid-sentence.

"Harua we were kids. You didn't need to say anything. It was my fault, for dropping it on you like that, when you were obviously out of it-"

There are first signs of tears flowing out in the corners of Harua's eyes, "I should've. Now- I think me not bringing it up was the biggest mistake of my life. Back then I didn't understand but- Maki, it's like you said it. It was you all along.

What happened with you that night shook me harder than a thousands of rejections from Nicho ever could. And I'm sorry- you were always there and- And my judgment was so unbelievably clouded."

Maki starts shaking his head, his eyes losing focus as he stares at Harua in disbelief, "No- no, you are just saying that-"

Harua quickly interrupts, trying to sound convincing, he grabs the hem of his own shirt to ground himself, "No, I'm not. It was you, it was you when we were running all those stupid errands for my mom, it was you when there was no one but us, it was you when my stupid obsession with Nicholas started, it was you when it ended too." He walks up to him and reaches for his hands.

"And it's still you, it's you who is visiting randomly and helping my mom, it's you who's replying to me in the middle of the night, it's you who's looking out for me-"

Maki interrupts, "Harua. It's okay, you don't have to delude me like that. You don't have to force yourself to these feelings just to content to my desires. It's okay really, today I took the time and came to my senses, I faced the truth and I'm sure and decided now."

"Sure?" Harua asks, worriedly, "About what?"

Maki tightens the hold of their hands, "I decided, that it's time for me to move on." Maki says sadly but with a small smile.

Harua's heart drops.

What?

Is it… slipping from Harua's grasp as we speak?

"And that's okay. I have given myself almost a decade of holding onto these feelings but it's time to let go now."

Harua blinks, panic overwhelms him as he is listening to the absolute horrors of sentences, "Wha- what are you saying?" He can't help the wince creeping in on his face.

"I'm saying that I waited all this time, and I was fine with that but because I kept on thinking you will- feel the same way eventually. Then I ended up snapping at you the way I did today and I don't ever want this to happen. And it won't, I promise you this, because-" he huffs almost silently as a small, scarily warm smile highlights his face.

"Because there is someone, that made me feel something that I only ever felt with you."

Harua feels sick, he feels like he will throw up or pass out any second now. And with every word that Maki says it's getting worse.

They are still holding hands and Harua thinks it's the last thing that keeps him from dropping to the ground.

"So, what I'm saying is- that it's okay. That all is fine now- finally, because I can move on without making myself miserable, I'll finally be more than a shadow of that night's events. And you-" He tightens the hold of their hands that Harua initiated, "You'll be free of me, in a way." He laughs awkwardly.

"No, I- don't want-" Harua almost whispers, his words coming out muffled and incomprehensible, "-that."

"What?"

"I…" he breathes heavily as he's looking at Maki, lost, "…Who."

"Who?" Maki tilts his head, confused.

"Who's that," he braces himself for the words that barely come out of his mouth, "Someone you're talking of".

"Oh they're- I um, met them online."

Harua's insides mix between relief and the panic that still hasn't died down.

"It's stupid, I don't even know what they look like or even how they sound like but-" He smiles, "It's like I just know, y'know? Like seriously when we talk it's like I'm relieving the days of our childhood, like almost as if I'm back to being ten and spending time with you, while thinking this boy is seriously my soulmate." His eyes are shining brightly as he brings up the memories.

"I even tried to distance myself lately, when I realized how much I felt for them. I felt like my feelings for you were threatened and I wanted to sabotage myself but now, I'm realizing that I need these feelings dying, for the sake of the new ones."

As Maki ends his monologue, which to a foreign ear would be the most beautiful description of love, Harua just laughs. He laughs and keeps laughing for never ending seconds before he realises that streams of tears are flowing down his cheeks.

"Ha-ah," His smile is distorted as salty water gets in the way of his mouth, "Sorry I- Ha-ah, I seriously cannot believe it." He breaks the hold of their hands, and runs his own by his face and through his hair to regain composure.

"Ha-Harua? Are you-"

Harua's body collapses on the icy, hard ground, Maki immediately kneels over to him, "Rua? What's happening, do you need help-"

To Harua too, those words are beautiful and he so deeply wishes he could just bask in them and let them embrace him warmly. But for now - it cannot be as simple.

As Maki's kneeling down to help him, Harua grabs his hand and hangs onto it tightly, not wanting the other to ever let go.

"Please," he says with a shaky voice and sniffles, "Hear me out first okay?".

Maki blinks and his chest raises, as if he was ready for an incoming strike, but ultimately - he nods, "I meant it, like deadly meant it, when I said that it's only ever you." Maki grimaces, Harua's probably messing with his mind right now.

"Because lately, every time one of my relationship ended it was preceded by your impact."

Maki furrows his eyebrows, "Mine? I don't understand."

"If there was one person who made me finally doubt and made me put an end to every single one of them subconsciously, it was also you Kay" Harua doesn't miss the sudden and obvious widen of Maki's eyes.

"And I only realized that now that- somehow I always wanted Kay to be you,” he laughs, “even when I thought of myself as crazy for thinking both of you were alike and pushing that thought as far away as I could, I was just keeping myself from realizing it but-

I wanted it to be you so badly Maki." Harua's voice pathetically cracks as he breaks down.

Harua sighs deeply, "This is seriously a worn-out cliché," He shakes his head, looking down, "I have no idea how I couldn't pin it down that it was you, I mean- the letters literally spelled it out for me,"

"And now," he sniffles, "I am desperately making you not let go of the feelings for me, which is just… so pathetic. And I'm late- I'm so late but-

Don't. Don't move on. Stay. Let me reciprocate them, now that I'm finally able to. Let this version of me, and the online one reciprocate them, even if it that'd be delayed.

So, please, if you ever did, don't stop loving me and… let me love you right back."

The hand he was just tightly holding is now used as his support under his forehead as he slowly decays emotionally. And before he fully looses grip on it, and generally the entire control of his body, Maki catches him in a firm embrace.

It's not more of an embrace, rather than a protective clasp - holding Harua to not let his body fall out of exhaustion.

Harua cries, his head fully leaning on Maki's torso, Maki's arms awkwardly resting on his back, and their knees touching as they're both sitting on an uncomfortable cobblestone sidewalk.

Harua feels drained from all the contradictory emotions he's felt until now, Maki's probably feeling similarly exhausted as he has to get used to yet another version of their shared reality.

Harua's wet face detaches from Maki's now also wet shirt. He slowly and nervously takes a look of his expression, not sure what to expect, and notices a crooked smile, absolutely not a certain, or a confident one, but a smile.

Maki brushes the side of his palm across Harua's face, unsuccessfully trying to wipe away his tears.

"What do you think I've been doing all this time, if not loving you?"

Harua's lips tremble and his teeth grit as he breaks into a greater cry at the words. He tries to look down, not being sure how to face Maki's stare, and he watches the single droplets falling down.

But Maki swiftly rises Harua's chin up before cupping his tearful cheeks in his palms. He robs Harua of the apparent storm on his face as their lips mold into each other - turning it solely into a dripping dew, soon to be tranquility.

Harua's own arms travel in fists to his own chest as nerves outburst his being. What ceases them to exist is Maki's chaste, caressing touch against the sides of his face, so he brings himself to place, his sweaty palms on Maki's shoulders.

Harua's kissed a variety of different boys over the few years, he was almost religiously trying out dating. He's tried more intensive making out, shy pecks, or long, still captures of lips - and none of these even resembled his first kiss with his best friend, not even slightly.

Over the last few months Harua never realized how much he wanted his faceless internet friend to be Maki.

Similarly, over the last few years Harua never realized how much he wanted Maki to be his in this, familiar to him, way.

Harua's sure he kissed Maki back the second they connected, but when he becomes more conscious of what exactly is happening, he deepens the kiss with the might of craving to do so for years - a seconds-long discovery of his. Maki mirrors it right back, pulling Harua closer with all the longing he's gathered over the painful years of living in unrequital.

His best friend's lips are full, consuming Harua's own smaller ones like a warm embrace - polar to the icy ground they're still sitting on.

And when their kiss breaks, the air they share between their lips is burning, and so are their cheeks, full of heat and color.

They exchange full blown glances between each other while huffing, Maki's breath tickling Harua's lips, they're both exhausted from relief.

Instead of closing the distance fully again, Maki smiles. He smiles and presses their foreheads together. When Harua's about to make a deep eye contact with him, Maki laughs.

"Huh, wha- what's your issue?"

"You-" He giggles, sweetly, "You literally did have it spelled out for you," He doesn't stop laughing, "I cannot believe you didn't realize the username was just my name literally spelled out- Oh my god."

Harua blinks,"Wh-" He almost asks before he immediately gets it.

He bursts into laughter right back, tears - now of happiness - welling up in his eyes.

When their feelings and years of unsaid words reach them - the storm is long gone. The garden and the never ending rain are not yet forgotten, but completely abandoned.

This Sunday, Maki comes to the movie night.

Well, maybe he doesn't come exactly since he was there to begin with.

"Seriously? Today, everyone came?" Harua groans. Both he and Maki are still in their pajamas as their friends come through the door.

"We need to address the elephant." Taki states the second his feet cross the threshold of the Shigeta household.

"What elephant?" Nicholas questions.

"The one in the room?"

"The one in th-"

Yuma interrupts, "Oh my god. Just say it. You guys sorted it out or not?"

Harua's not even a little bit surprised that everyone already knows, somehow they just do every time.

"Yes. But that's not thanks to you, Yuma." Maki says firmly but without any trace of venom.

"A shame," he frowns and turns to Harua, "So we're officially not happening?" Yuma asks, playfully.

Harua smiles and shrugs, "Sorry Yuu-kun, I guess my phase died instantly." He's deeply buried in his couch as Yuma comes to sit next to him. Harua notices that he also decided to cover up the last traces of what happened between them - probably from his regrets about his last talk with Maki. Also maybe respect, but Harua doubts that.

"'S okay, I guess I just have to fixate on someone else now…" he playfully looks around, "Hey Ta-"

"Not a chance."

Yuma pouts.

"Hey, since I'm here," Nicholas starts, already sliding out his phone "I think it's me who's next to choose the movie right?" He grins, proudly.

No one agrees but no one objects either.

"Great," His grin grows as he scrolls for a second on his phone, before his eyes catch something interesting, "Hey, what about Lego Batman? I don't think I ever actually watched it." He contemplates as he glances at the screen.

Harua takes everything in him to not laugh out loud.

Instead, he looks around the room and immediately finds Maki's eyes - similairly amused.

And instead of a vocal laugh, they share a soundless giggle - just between the two of them.