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The Lair was almost eerily quiet after everything that had happened. So much had changed in the span of only several hours. Leo stood in what used to be the main room of their home, staring at the rubble that coated the floor in chunks of various sizes. It shook him to the core that such a thing could have even happened. They had allowed themselves to fall into a false sense of security that they had been safe far below ground, and it had nearly cost them everything.
Leo bowed his head at the thought. As leader it was his job to protect his family and he hadn’t even been able to do that. It was his fault.
"Are you seriously blaming yourself for this?"
Leo startled at Raph’s rough voice. Though he didn’t gasp, his fingers twitched with the instinct to grab for his katana. He supposed that was going to be his gut reaction for a while, considering the ordeal they had been through.
"I thought you were sleeping like everyone else," Leo replied accusingly as he turned to face the larger terrapin. He avoided the question entirely. They both knew the answer already anyway. "You need to rest, Raph."
"You should talk. I ain’t the one who had most of his blood drained. Or got electrocuted a bunch of times." Green eyes looked him over from head to toe. "You feeling okay?"
"Yes, but you obviously aren't," Leo replied. At Raph's questioning look, he smiled slightly and pointed out, "you never ask how I'm feeling. Besides, I seem to remember hearing you received more cracks in your shell."
Grabbing his brother's heavily muscled bicep, Leo spun him around. His fingers lightly trailed over the rough carapace, carefully following the lines of the fresh tape that Donnie had applied after they had saved Splinter.
Raph shivered. "It's nothing I ain't dealt with before, Leo."
"Yeah," Leo agreed dryly, "too many times. You need to be more careful, Raph. I don't think I need to tell you what'll happen if your shell actually breaks."
"Whatever,” Raph rolled his eyes. “You done feeling me up, yet?"
Leo pulled back like he'd been burnt. "I wasn't-!"
The larger turtle turned back around, lips twisted into a smirk around a toothpick. "Bullshit. You couldn't wait to get your hands on me."
Leo glared at him. "Would you grow up? Come on, it's time for bed."
He'd only gotten a step away before a strong hand clamped down on his wrist, tugging him back to face his brother.
"I'm serious, Leo," Raph said, tilting his head slightly to meet his eyes. "Are you okay?"
"I.. uh.." Taken aback by the caring behavior, Leo looked down at where Raph's strong fingers were still clutching his arm. Carefully he twisted his wrist free and took a step back. "I'm fine, Raph. I'm just tired, alright? Go to bed."
Raph's eye ridges rose at the abrupt answer, but he didn't stop Leo again as the older turtle walked away.
Even after he was comfortable beneath his covers, Leo couldn't erase the look in Raph's eyes out of his mind. Nor could he forget the phantom feel of fingers on his wrist.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"We need to start to pack, my sons," Splinter said the next day. While the mutagen had helped to save his life from the beating he’d suffered from Shredder, the bruises still stood out like beacons and he walked with a visible limp, favoring his left leg. "This place can no longer be our home."
"But where'll we go?" Mikey asked, twisting the crumbling remnants of an old pizza crust between his fingers. "It took forever to get my room perfect."
"The sewer system is massive, Mikey," Donnie replied as he pushing his glasses further up his nose. "By my calculations we can easily find an even bigger space."
"Bigger?" the orange masked turtle asked eagerly, his eyes lighting up like a kid’s on Christmas morning. For starters larger space meant more room to ride his hover skateboard. Jackpot! "What're we waiting for, bros! Let's get our stuff!"
Jumping up, he shoved the crust in his mouth then raced for his room. Raph went at a slower pace while Donnie immediately headed for his machines to see what he could salvage. Despite having a lot of his own things to gather together, Leo found himself instead going to Raph's room.
He stood in the doorway for a few moments. Raph puttered around, muttering to himself as he tried to figure out what he cared to take with him.
"So it's true, huh?"
Raph turned at Leo's voice, narrowing his eyes at the other terrapin's smug expression. "The hell you on about?"
"Just thinking about your confession as the tower was falling. You know, your speech about how much you love us," Leo walked into the room, smirking as Raph's face immediately reddened. "How you can't live without us."
"Shut the fuck up, Leo. I didn't say I couldn't live without you."
Leo chuckled as he moved closer. "Close enough. Should I repeat what you said word for word to make my point?"
He took a deep breath in which to do so, only to be stopped short as a large hand covered his mouth.
"You do and I will kick your ass from here to the Hashi," Raph snarled.
Leo entertained the idea of licking Raph’s hand for a brief moment, but just shoved it away instead. "You're such a big softie inside," he cooed teasingly. "All talk and no action."
Raph released a low growl. "Alright that's it! I'll show you action!"
Leo grunted as Raph pounced on him, their large bodies colliding and hitting the floor hard. They tussled for several moments. It was something familiar that they had done since they were children, both of them trying hard to win by getting the other beneath them.
Wrists caught in Raph's hands, Leo slid his legs around his brother's hips and twisted to the side hard and fast. Knocked off balance Raph just managed to keep Leo in his hold as he found himself on his shell with the smaller terrapin straddling him.
"You squirmy little twerp," Raph grumbled, shoving forward to get Leo back under him.
Leo laughed. Raph was a stronger than he was, but Leo was definitely quicker and he used that to his advantage as he refused to be pinned too easily. Every time Raph managed to get him on his shell, Leo would waste little time sliding out from beneath him. It was like a game of cat and mouse, though which turtle played which role could easily be debated. They finally reached a stalemate some time later by mutual, nonverbal agreement, and settled on Raph’s bed next to each other.
Feeling comfortably warm as the adrenaline from the wrestling match eased its way out of his relaxed body, Leo felt content for the first time since Shredder’s attack.
"You know, you never said what your last words were going to be while we were falling with the tower."
"That's because you wouldn't shut up for five minutes."
"Leo," Raph growled, shoving the other terrapin when he laughed. "What were you going to say?"
"First let's talk about Donnie and those pop tarts," Leo suggested, making a face. "That was gross, right?"
"I haven't eaten a pop tart since," Raph agreed, snorting. "Fucking weirdo. Now stop changing the damn subject."
Leo trailed his fingers idly over Raph's blanket. It was the ugliest thing he'd ever seen, yellow with green stripes, but it was also the most comfortable piece of bedding he'd ever felt. "Why does it matter so much? We didn't die. Besides it could be something completely random, like Mikey's confusion about the Lost finale."
"I doubt your last words would be something so incredibly stupid," Raph replied. "You think things through more in one minute than that bonehead does in a year."
“Did you just compliment me?"
"Don't get used to it." Raph pulled his blanket away from Leo's fingers. "And stop feeling up my blanket."
Leo laughed, dragging himself to his feet. "You would just rather I feel up you?"
It had been meant as a joke, but instead of looking either amused or agitated, Raph looked contemplative. "Do you want to?"
"What? N-no!" Leo sputtered. "Of course not!"
"You brought it up."
"I was kidding!"
"That so?” Raph’s lips curved into a smirk. “Because I seem to remember just yesterday when your hands were all over my shell. Admit it, Leo, you can’t get enough of me.”
Leo's sapphire eyes narrowed. "When you broke into Sacks' lab," he started, crossing his arms over his plastron, "why was it only my name you called?"
The smug look faded from Raph's face, replaced with discomfort as he averted his eyes. Broad shoulders shrugged. "You were the one I saw."
"Liar. From the distance between us and the door, and the moment before you even spoke coupled with the fact that our cells were next to each other, there is no way you wouldn't have seen all of us."
Raph snorted. "You sound like Donnie."
"Don't avoid the question, Raphael."
"Why don't you answer my question from before, Leonardo?" The red masked terrapin demanded back as he stood. "If you can avoid questions then so can I."
There was no need to ask what question Raph meant. Leo hadn't stopped thinking about it. He wasn't sure why it mattered so much to him that Raph cared to ask, but there was no denying that it did.
Leo unfolded his arms, releasing a soft, slow breath as he considered his answer. “I would have said that despite all of the arguing we do about leadership and choices, how you feel matters to me. I'd say that it hurts when you say you're going to leave the team, because not only does that mean that along the line somewhere I failed you as a brother and leader, but that I also failed you as a friend."
Raph took a breath to reply, but stopped short when Leo held up his hand to signal he wasn't done yet.
"I would have said that despite my feelings about you, I want to support you in your choices even if I don't always agree with them. They are your choices to make and no one should keep you from being who you are. Especially not me."
“And what are your feelings about me?” Raph asked gently, the gruffness gone from his voice.
“You told us in your confession that you weren’t ever really going to leave,” Leo pointed out. “So how I feel doesn’t matter.”
“No." Raph moved closer, grasping Leo's arms when he automatically tried to step back. His nose nuzzled against Leo's temple, Raph murmured, "it matters to me."
Leo closed his eyes, trembling as he felt Raph's mouth ghost down over the side of his face to hover just to the right of his mouth. “You make me absolutely crazy,” he breathed as his hands slid up Raph's plastron to his shoulders.
Raph rumbled a laugh, deep and husky. “You make me crazy, too.” His arms slid around Leo’s shell, guiding the smaller terrapin closer as he kissed the corner of his mouth. “You boss me around, tell me how and when to train and when to go to bed. You tell us when to get up and where we’re going on our nightly runs. You dictate my every move and it drives me fucking insane. But at the same time I know that you get me. You understand. And you don’t keep me from anything, Leo. I am who I am because of you.”
Leo’s eyes softened as he cupped the back of Raph’s neck. “Like I said, you’re just a big softie inside.”
Raph shifted forward with a growl. “Shut up, Leo.”
The first touch of their lips was tentative, both of them nervous and unsure. The second was confident. The third was passionate, mouths slanted and lips parted to allow Raph's tongue entry into Leo's mouth.
Continuing to kiss they moved blindly to the bed, breaking their mouths away from each other just long enough for Leo to lay down with Raph on top of him.
“I love you,” Leo murmured, sliding his arms around his younger brother’s body.
Raph smiled, ducking his head to lick at Leo’s neck. “Good, because I love you, too. That’s why it was you I called for in Sacks’ lab. No one means more to me than you do.”
Tangling his legs around Raph’s hips, Leo guided his brother’s mouth back up to his for another long, heated kiss. “Prove it.”
Raph churred against his mouth. “Gladly.”
END