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The quiet clang of the grandfather clock jolted Aziraphale awake. He rarely slept, so it took him several moments to orient to his surroundings. The bookshop was dark, except for the beams of light coming from outside. He could tell by the unique orange-ish glow it was still snowing. There was a warm and comfortable weight along his side.
Shifting his head slightly to the right, Aziraphale nearly got a mouthful of red hair.
Crowley.
It all came rushing back to him: the end of the world, choosing humanity, and finding themselves back in their world. Confessing their love to each other.
Aziraphale spent a very long moment observing Crowley sleep: the relaxed lines of his forehead that nearly disappeared; the way his eyelashes fell against his cheek. But most importantly, how perfectly Crowley’s body lay against his. It was like two odd puzzle pieces slotting perfectly together.
Every so gently, he traced a finger over Crowley’s eyebrows before traveling down the bridge of his nose. His heart overflowed with affection when Crowley’s nose scrunched up.
Aziraphale continued his path over an unexpectedly soft sideburn down to Crowley’s snake tattoo. As he brushed over the ink, it was as if the tattoo came to life, wriggling beneath his fingerprints; he was shocked to see the little black serpent rise from Crowley’s skin.
“Oh!” Aziraphale breathed in surprise as the reptile slithered onto his thumb.
“I had no idea you were sentient,” Aziraphale whispered in amazement while he examined the tiny creature. He lightly stroked his finger over the snake’s head and felt a little forked tongue against his skin as the snake nuzzled against him.
“You are a lovely little thing aren’t you?” Aziraphale grinned. “Much like your companion,” he added knowingly.
Aziraphale set his hand down so the snake could coil back on Crowley’s jaw line. After all these millennia, Aziraphale was still making all kinds of discoveries about his beloved. Like how Crowley drooled in his sleep, if the large wet spot on Aziraphale’s jacket was any indication.
That revelation reminded Aziraphale of how much he missed, and how much he could have missed out on. His head fell back to the pillow, and he tightened his grip around Crowley. Sadly, if it wasn’t for the grace of God—and her restoring their universe—he would have never gotten this moment.
Oh if Aziraphale hadn’t been a twit, and actually acted on his feelings for Crowley much sooner, they could have been kissing and cuddling for quite a while. Instead, he boldly assumed Crowley wanted to be an angel again and everything went to, frankly, hell. His insides twisted uncomfortably as he replayed their disastrous conversation in the book shop right before he left with the Metatron. That haunted, defeated look in Crowley’s eyes…
Tears started streaming down his cheeks and he bit his lip to stifle the sob trying to escape his throat.
Aziraphale felt Crowley come awake, shifting and coming back into his body for a moment..
Groaning, Crowley slurred, “W’a ti’ iz i’?
It took a moment for Aziraphale to answer as he swallowed past the lump in his throat. “It’s just after three in the morning,” he whispered. “Go back to sleep.”
But Crowley pushed himself up enough to see Aziraphale’s face. “Angel, what’s wrong?”
Sniffling, Aziraphale hastily wiped at his cheeks. “Nothing to worry about. I just got a little emotional.”
Crowley cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t think so. C’mere.” Through some inelegant shuffling, they finally managed to reorient themselves to where Aziraphale now lay on top of Crowley. Aziraphale let out a shuddering breath as he nestled against Crowley's chest.
“So what’s got you emotional in the middle of the night?” Crowley quietly asked as he lightly massaged the curls at the base of his neck, the other arm around his shoulders.
Between Crowley's gentle concern and the steady thump of his heartbeat, Aziraphale felt something inside crack open and he began to weep. “I—I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. It was all my fault.” Azriaphale’s breath hitched. “I—I sh-should have listened to you. I should have never left you!”
Squeezing Aziraphale’s shoulder, Crowley shook his head. “You were doing what you thought was right; you have such a big heart and you wanted to use that to change Heaven. You wanted to convince the other angels that humans shouldn’t be collateral damage in the Second Coming.”
“I feel like such a fool,” Aziraphale whispered harshly. “A stupid soft-hearted fool.”
Crowley put his hands on either side of Aziraphale's face and spoke determinedly. “Don’t ever talk about yourself in that way. Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness. You're the most courageous angel I know.”
The corner of Aziraphale’s mouth tugged slightly upward in a small smile. “Thank you,” he tearfully murmured.
“Besides, my plan would have left us destroyed like everyone else,” Crowley pointed out. “If we’d gone to Alpha Centauri, we would have been on borrowed time.”
Aziraphale grunted, grudgingly accepting the statement. “I hate that we were left with an impossible choice. The only reason we’re even here now is because she deigned to bring the world back,” he spit out angrily. He didn’t know if would ever forgive God for the games she played.
“Yeah,” Crowley agreed. Then he huffed in amusement. “I wonder if we have human counterparts in her new world.”
Aziraphale scoffed. “What are the odds of that, do you think?”
“I don’t know, but I do know that I would love you in every universe.”
Aziraphale felt himself ready to cry all over again. It wasn't often he was stunned into silence, but no one had ever said anything so intimately to him; about him for that matter. He turned his head enough to press his lips into Crowley's palm.
“There is one more thing I want to apologize for: I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you when God asked us to say goodbye.” Aziraphale swallowed. “I didn’t want the first time you heard those words from me to be under duress, and not in front of her and Satan.”
Aziraphale looked deep into Crowley’s eyes, hoping to convey the depth of his words. “It’s our love; it doesn’t belong to anyone else.”
Crowley let out a soft sound that was dangerously close to a whimper, though Aziraphale knew Crowley would never admit to whimpering. “You can’t keep saying things like that to me,” Crowley said desperately, as if his poor heart couldn’t take it.
“Oh I rather think I will,” Aziraphale gently vowed. His heart sped up in anticipation as he brought his head down to brush his lips against Crowley’s. The smell of Crowley’s skin, warm and spicy, made Aziraphale’s head spin. When he leaned further into the kiss, conscious thought evaporated and Aziraphale simply allowed the warmth to consume his body.
Ever so slowly, they parted and Crowley's golden eyes shined brightly in the dimly lit room. Aziraphale gave into temptation and rubbed his nose against Crowley's, something he’d always wanted to do. He couldn't help the small chuckle he let out when Crowley returned the action.
“You know what I think would make us feel better?” When Crowley shrugged, Aziraphale went on, “Some hot cocoa. Would you like a cup?”
At Crowley’s nod, Aziraphale peeled back the blanket and got to his feet. He tugged Crowley with him. After everything they had been through, Aziraphale was reluctant to let him out of his sight, even for a few moments.
Besides, Crowley looked entirely too endearing with a blanket draped around his shoulders and his hair sticking up at odd angles.
After turning on a lamp, they slowly padded to the small kitchen area where Aziraphale was pleased to find all of the ingredients he needed. As the milk heated, Crowley silently wrapped his long arms around Aziraphale’s waist.
“Do you want marshmallows, dear?”
Burrowing his face in the back of Aziraphale’s neck, Crowley answered with a string of incomprehensible consonants.
Aziraphale sighed in fond exasperation. “I have no idea what that means.”
“‘S fine,” Crowley yawned.
It was only moderately difficult with a cuddly demon glued to his back, but Aziraphale managed to make two steaming mugs of cocoa.
They sat on the sofa again, where Crowley threw a portion of the blanket over Aziraphale as well so they were huddled together.
“What should we toast to?” Crowley asked.
“Us,” Aziraphale declared confidently. “Let’s toast to us.”
The corner of Crowley’s eyes crinkled when he smiled brightly. “To us,” he said quietly and Aziraphale repeated the sentiment before taking a sip.
The milky sweetness of the chocolate burst across Aziraphale’s tongue. He smacked his lips happily. “Ooo, that’s scrumptious.” For some reason that caused Crowley to drop his head to Aziraphale’s shoulder and Aziraphale gladly accepted the precious weight.
They drank in silence for a little while before Aziraphale noticed the greenery by his desk. “One thing we must certainly do this afternoon is find the perfect spots for your plants for optimal sunlight.”
“They’ll need to be in specific windows,” Crowley replied easily. Then as if realizing something important, he suddenly shot up. “Wait! If my plants are here… then… I will be…”
“Here to take care of them,” Aziraphale finished, clearly puzzled. “I don’t know if your old apartment is available and you’re certainly not sleeping in the alley.”
Crowley nodded slowly as if trying to comprehend his words. “So I would be…” he trailed off again, swallowing hard. “...living here?”
Aziraphale took Crowley’s mug and placed it next to his on the coffee table. He then sandwiched one of Crowley’s hands between his. “Of course. I meant it when I said this bookshop is just as much yours as it is mine. Besides, we’ve danced around each other for long enough, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Mmn.” Crowley said noncommittally. “It’s just… living together is a big step.”
“My dear, we’ve known each other for over six thousand years. I think we’re ready.” Aziraphale grinned widely at the prospect of them sharing this space. “I want everything! Your loud bebop, your extraordinarily large television, your jungle of plants.”
Then he ran his thumb over Crowley’s knuckles. “I will gladly take all of that and more, so long as you are here.”
Without warning, Crowley launched himself at Aziraphale. He landed on his back with a playful “oof!” Crowley wrapped his long limbs around him, and Aziraphale felt a slight wetness on his shirt.
It took Crowley longer to find the words for bigger emotions so Aziraphale didn’t mind one bit as they lay there on the sofa in silence.
After a long while, Crowley murmured, “Might have to move some books for my plants.”
Sighing happily, Aziraphale chuckled. “That can easily be arranged.” Then he asked, “Why don’t we go upstairs? The bed will be much more comfortable.”
Crowley’s eyes lit up. “Up to our room?”
“Yes.” Aziraphale kissed his nose. “Our room.”
Hand in hand, Aziraphale led him to the small loft. At the doorway, Crowley halted. “Wait a minute. Isn’t your bed the size of a match box?”
“Not any more,” Aziraphale said airly, crossing the room to turn on the bedside lamp.
Sure enough, there was now a much larger bed with a mountain of decorative pillows. The cream-colored sheets were covered by a black tartan duvet. It was much more suitable for the two of them.
Crowley’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Is this some sort of weird gift from God?”
Aziraphale turned from the dresser, where he dug out some sleepwear. “No, I did it. After everything we’ve been through. I figured one more miracle wouldn’t hurt.” He looked up at the ceiling, as if talking to God. “We’re owed that much!” He handed Crowley a set of black button up pajamas. “I’ll be in the washroom.”
“Take your time. I’m going to have to excavate these decorative pillows to find the regular ones.”
After changing into a long grey nightshirt and cap, Aziraphale found Crowley already tucked under the covers, nothing more than a tuft of red hair sticking out. He smirked at the pile of black clothing discarded on the floor next to the pillows.
When Aziraphale pulled back the duvet, Crowley cracked open one eye. “You look like a gnome with your little nightcap.”
“Oh, be quiet.”
“A cute little gnome. Who will read me a bedtime story.”
“Not now I won’t.” Aziraphale poked Crowley in the ribs, earning him a little squeak from the demon. After turning off the lamp, they both settled on their sides, with Aziraphale tucking his head under Crowley’s chin. Aziraphale took one of Crowley’s hands and kissed his palm before placing it over his heart.
Crowley squirmed. “Eugh. That’s a bit soppy, angel.”
“Sorry.”
When Aziraphale let go of his fingers, Crowley immediately protested. “I didn’t say stop.”
Yet another new discovery, Aziraphale thought. Under that prickly exterior, Crowley really was a soft marshmallow who liked “soppy” things. So Aziraphale took a chance, and hooked his ankle over Crowley’s. There was enough street light coming through the window for him to see Crowley’s face. His golden eyes were always so expressive and Aziraphale could see the naked vulnerability there.
As if to shake off said vulnerability, Crowley noisily cleared his throat. “So, uh, this, the bed, is decidedly bigger than the one you had before.”
“It’s for you.”
“Me?”
Aziraphale nodded. “I wanted you to have enough room to sprawl without falling off the bed. I remember going to your flat when the lockdown had ended and you weren’t answering your mobile. I figured you planned on sleeping through the pandemic, if left to your own devices, but…” he trailed off for a moment, before quietly admitting, “I missed you.
“Anyway, I found you in the most ridiculous position: You had your legs dangling on the floor while still clinging to a pillow on the mattress.” Aziraphale cupped Crowley’s jaw, brushing his thumb over his cheek. His heart skipped a beat at Crowley’s quick intake of breath. “I didn’t want you to wake up in such an uncomfortable state like that again, hence the bigger bed.”
“You remember that?” Crowley asked.
“Of course.” Then because he couldn’t help it, Aziraphale added, “How could I forget how loudly you shrieked when I woke you up?”
“I didn’t shriek,” Crowley protested vehemently.
“I had no idea your voice could reach such a pitch. I thought your windows would crack.”
“I think your memory is addled,” Crowley huffed. “I was merely surprised by you, that’s all.”
Aziraphale snickered. How wonderful it was to lay here, cuddled together in bed, gently teasing each other.
“In any case, thank you for the additional bed space,” Crowley said grudgingly. “Just as long as you never wake me up like that again.”
Aziraphale softly asked. “Do you have a preference for your potential wake up calls?” Before Crowley could answer, Aziraphale lightly scratched back and forth across his scalp. “‘Good morning, darling. It’s time to wake up.’ What do you think of that?”
Crowley practically purred. “Mrrrrm, y-yeah. That might work.”
Then Aziraphale guided Crowley’s head down to tenderly kiss his forehead. “Is this acceptable?” he whispered.
“Hrk. Sure. Fine.”
Aziraphale smiled against Crowley’s skin as he felt Crowley press closer to him. “And this?” Aziraphale then rubbed their noses together again, sweet and playful.
Crowley choked on his answer, “Yeah. But only once. Maybe twice.” Aziraphale strongly suspected Crowley would allow it more than twice.
Judging by the way Crowley trembled, Aziraphale didn’t want to overwhelm him any longer. It was the most physical affection they had ever shown each other.
Crowley swallowed heavily. “J-just as long as you’re here when I wake up,” he confessed in a small voice.
“I’ll be the first thing you see.”
They arranged themselves to where Aziraphale was on his back and Crowley slithered on top. Aziraphale sighed contently at the feeling of being completely wrapped up by his love, Crowley's weight warm and comforting.
“Can’t believe we get to have this,” Crowley murmured, his words causing gooseflesh along Aziraphale’s skin.
“I know what you mean.” Aziraphale kept one hand at the base of Crowley’s skull, while the other scratched lightly between his shoulder blades. Crowley’s body practically melted, both of them sinking further into the downy mattress. “There’s so much we can do together now. Maybe take a drive to see the Christmas lights. Have a proper date. Go on a picnic.”
Aziraphale felt Crowley smile into his chest. “Maybe take a trip together? I heard South Downs is nice.”
Aziraphale stared at the ceiling in wonder. “The possibilities are endless.”