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After 327 years, Varian’s body was cold. Fingers numb to the touch. Heart empty, rotting, shaped like coal. Eyes distant, hazed over with centuries gone by, but nothing to marvel over. Humans got electricity. Humans got robotics. Same old, same old. There was always something, but even the most ingenious did not impress him any longer.
See, the idea of immortality is much grander than the reality. You’d imagine a large manor, one of those with the huge doors and marble pillars outside. The tables are mahogany, lit gently by chandeliers. And there Varian would be, feasting amongst eternal companions.
Well. It was quite different.
See, humans on average, don’t live that long. Some croak at 10. Some at 80. The amount never bothered him really, because it was all one thing. Impermanent.
He was surrounded by very little, see, being immortal is not as common as you would think. Sure, he had Rapunzel, but she was married. Had a life of her own, with an immortal of her own. Whilst he sat in the same empty house, in the same empty bed.
Well, at least he had mahogany tables. But even experimenting lost its charm when he’d done all he wanted to do. Besides, what’s the point if he had eternity. He could just do it tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or he’d be so drained that he’d lie in his coffin for a decade, and only awaken when Rapunzel does a ‘safety check’ (making sure he isn’t dead, she has to do them a lot).
He strolled the same dull roads. Sat in the same café every morning. Watched the same show in the evening. Until it all blurred, every day becoming an amalgamation of his boredom.
Well, until he heard someone screaming so bad it sounded like someone was ripping out their eardrums and beating the shit out of their ear canal.
Honestly, Varian had no interest. People nowadays got drunk far too often. They were probably just drunk and picking fights. Losing all inhibitions as they tear at each other, and wake up the next day with a sinking feeling that they’ve really, truly messed up. And that’s all their fault, despite them not wanting to admit it.
But then the voice began to laugh, and cheers resounded around the bend. Sticking to the shadows, Varian’s curiosity got the better of him as he crept forward into the square, seeing a small band on a dimly lit stage. A girl in space buns squatted down, fiddling with her bass whilst a smaller boy with, well quite unruly hair and a bright grin to go with it twirled drum sticks in his hands. But the centre?
Varian wasn’t one to believe in angels, and if he did he’d hate them, but god he looked like one. High cheekbones, soft blonde hair he could almost imagine his hands rummaging through and green eyes the colour of the trees he surrounded himself in when he was alive. The colour of life. The colour he never saw again.
The man laughed, and Varian felt his chest flutter at the sound. It was so warm, and airy, and—
He was acting like a stupid school girl. Varian grumbled before making to turn out of the square, until the man started to sing. Well, scream. Varian was no stranger to emo music, it was one of the only new things he liked, but coming from his lips? It was too tempting to not come back in. He was allured. Transfixed on the sounds coming from his lips, lulled into a daze of want and need.
Well. It would be fitting for his nature.
…
Varian didn’t mean to go to the square again. Honest. He’d been meaning to get supplies for a new experiment. After yesterday’s performance, he’d suddenly had a motivation boost, and he wanted to test more and more ideas he had never gotten round to do.
So, he was walking to the shops, before he heard singing once again. But not just any singing, it was the angel again. Humming soft notes as the other band members warmed up. His voice still like honey, and Varian had a large sweet tooth for it.
Oh he shouldn’t. He had a job to be doing! Science! Experimentation! Gaining knowledge!
But… one look wouldn’t hurt? He had to just get one glimpse of that hair again.
He slid around the buildings, looking around for signs of other people. When he realised it was empty, he cast his gaze onto the object of his affection:
That blonde angel guy. He had a pick in his mouth, making Varian focus on his lips just a little more. God they looked soft. And oh so kissable. And biteable.
Fuck. When he was a human he never thought like this. It was always tender kisses and soft romance. Now it was always how far can you push. How deep can you cut. How much can you bite. He was a monster of desire, something that took and took but was never satisfied. And now, he was set on him.
He felt feral. He felt alive. He felt insane. And he had no idea whether he hated or loved it.
Well, he knows he hated how clumsy he is, because as he was looking, he didn’t notice the step in front of him, making him trip over with a loud bang as he fell.
Oh he was so embarrassing. He wished he could die. But like again. Right now.
The blonde looked up instantly, “Hello? Is anyone there?”
If he doesn’t breathe, which isn’t a problem because he doesn’t need to, then no one will notice him. No one at all. He doesn’t exist. Varian doesn’t exist. That was his method of hiding from formal events all those years ago with Rapunzel. He’d close his eyes and pretend he didn’t exist, and then his panicked breaths would finally cease.
The drummer perked up, “There’s someone in the corner.”
Three pairs of eyes landed on him, face flat on the floor, teeth sinking in his lip drawing blood as he shot up instantly, “Oh! Uh, hi! Didn’t mean to, you know, intrude. I’ll just be going now—“
He made to run away, but that pretty boy with his stupid pretty voice spoke again, “Hey, you don’t have to shoot off if you don’t want to. You could always listen?”
The girl with space buns rolled her eyes, “You’re doing it again, you disgusting—“
“Hey now,” he grinned back, and oh Varian definitely wasn’t salivating right now, “Just watching. We need someone to tell us how we’re doing. If he’d be alright with it of course.”
Sitting in from of him.
Watching him sing for hours.
Get to see him all sweaty at the end.
Oh he was red now. And he didn’t have blood.
Varian chuckled awkwardly, “Sure!”
And well, that’s how it began.
…
So, he found out the angels name was Hugo. Hugo. A pretty name. It was an old name as well, one Varian could imagine someone having when he was alive. He’d spend every night watching them perform, giving encouraging remarks despite not being an expert in music. And well, life felt a bit more colourful. He went out more. Tried more new things. Smiled more. Now that was terrifying for him.
Once, when he was laughing at a joke Hugo made, he felt his fangs slightly slip out, and Yong, the drummer who never let anything slip past him, noticed immediately. He pointed frantically, “Hey, your teeth are so sharp!”
Varian quickly recoiled back. Oh they knew. They knew what he was. They were going to throw him away. Call him a freak. He covered his mouth in shame, just waiting for the blow.
Hugo pushed Yong slightly, “Well I think they’re cool. Nuru?”
The other girl hummed in agreement, “Oh yeah, they’re like a vampire. Vampires are so sick.”
Well, that’s her opinion. Varian respects opinions.
But also she was significantly incorrect. It was not sick to be a vampire. It made him want to be sick every time he drank blood. It made him feel sick every time someone was afraid of him. And it made him feel sick when he realised how sad and miserable his life was, because he was well and truly alone.
Well, he had these guys now. And surprisingly, it went well with them. He started talking to Hugo more. Sure, it made him go all clammy talking to him, and he kept blurting out stupid, not attractive things but it kept Hugo laughing. He was trying to hard to act normal, but every time he would try he would always mess up.
One day, he decided to buy a watch. Now, Varian doesn’t use a watch. He sticks with a good old fashioned pocket watch that he takes everywhere. But Hugo would think that’s weird. He’d stop hanging out with him. So pocket watch was out.
However, one day, he maybe kind of slightly forgot about the whole plan, and decided to check it anyways. Hugo laughed so hard he went red. Varian was so distraught he was about to turn into a bat and take a swan dive, but then Hugo kept calling him cute and all of a sudden his dead heart was pounding for a different reason.
Another time, he had gone to meet with Hugo in a hurry because he was supposed to be there half an hour ago (he doesn’t and probably never will understand how phones work, but he knows this— their alarm system sucked). He’d gotten to the café, slid into the correct booth and was so ready to ask Hugo out when Hugo’s eyes widened.
“Hugo? What’s wrong,” Varian quirked an eyebrow as he looked behind him, not seeing anything out of the ordinary.
Hugo stuttered, seemingly lost for words, “Why are you wearing science goggles?”
Varian gasped, before reaching for his head and feeling the texture of his goggles. Seemingly, in all of his rush, he hadn’t remembered to take them off. See, he didn’t usually, like ever, because what if he needed them! But for Hugo, he did. He didn’t want Hugo to think he was a nerd. And now, he’d let it slip. Varian opened his mouth to offer an excuse, but nothing came out. He tried again, but to no avail.
Thankfully, Hugo stepped in, “Are you a scientist?”
Varian let out a big sigh as he realised he was never getting Hugo to like him at this rate, “Yeah.”
A big grin wormed its way across Hugo face, “No way! I’m studying science at university! You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to meet someone interested in it.”
Oh?
The hot bad boy player emo rockstar was also… a nerd? A nerd into the same things as Varian? Okay so now he knew he was dreaming.
But as time passed, and they began to explore more about each other through their shared interests, let’s just say that they grew a lot closer.
Talks turned into shared inside jokes at empty parks. Walks turned into private serenades. Lonely evenings turned to being curled up by the fire watching a stupid movie and laughing at it with Hugo. To making a mess and baking really bad cookies. To gossiping all night, to constantly hanging out, to being with each other for every possible moment Varian could manage.
Well, he felt like it was finally time to give into his really bad idea. Like, insanely bad. So bad it could ruin him. Or save him.
They were sitting on the sofa as another awful movie ended. He had no idea why they kept finding these types of stuff, but it seemed like alongside vampirism he was also cursed with bad Netflix recommendations.
Varian groaned, rubbing his eyes, “I am never giving you the remote ever again.”
Hugo snickered, “What, you didn’t like it?”
Varian rolled his eyes, “Is that a serious question?”
“Why else would I have asked, Goggles?”
Varian huffed at the nickname, a callback to his mistake, “Okay whatever. Can you get me some more popcorn?”
“No.”
Varian turned instantly, “Why not? You ate all of mine?!”
Hugo sassed back, “Not my fault. You should’ve been quicker.”
Varian nearly snarled, pulling out a pillow and wacking the other boy with it. Hugo just laughed, grabbing his own, and it began. They hurtled over cushions and sofas, trying their hardest to take the other out. Well, until Varian tripped over the rug, and fell straight onto Hugo.
They were lying on the sofa, noses touching as they breathed heavily. Varian could taste Hugo’s breath on his neck, mesmerised by how his adam apple bobbed up and down and how tender his neck looked. If he could just take a bite—
No, Varian. Behave.
Hugo huffed, “So, I win.”
Varian pushed at his chest, but Hugo refused to budge, “No way.”
Hugo smirked, “Well, I’m on top right now. So I win.”
Varian could hear a pulse. It was heavy. Beating as loud as drums as he felt his pupils dilating. Taking in every part of him that he wanted to chomp his fangs on and never let go. His lungs were stationary, making him almost wheeze as his arms shook. Something was happening. A force was overtaking his body, making him think one thing and one thing only.
A really, stupid, reckless thought.
He wouldn’t. He had self control. He wasn’t a baby vampire anymore. He has respect. Dignity.
Oh fuck dignity, he needed to get his fangs dirty and those lips bruised.
He smashed his lips into Hugo’s, making the other boy part his lips in shock as he registered what was going on. After a few moments, he kissed back, giving Varian a rush he never knew he needed before. Varian finally got to tangle his hands into his hair, and wow it was as soft as it looked.
He could stay here forever, his lips on Hugo’s, exploring his mouth deeper and deeper. He wouldn’t breathe anything else but Hugo’s mouth. He’d stay in his arms for as long as he could.
Hugo’s hands dipped up Varian’s shirt, making him feel like he was on fire as they traced his freckles. Every touch send electricity jolting down him, making him hum contentedly. It was almost like he was melting into him, that’s how fuzzy he felt. That’s how close he wanted to be.
After a moment, Hugo pulled back, looking at Varian as he cupped his cheek.
Hugo started, “I—“
Varian interrupted, “Do you want me to stop?”
Hugo shook his head immediately, “No, no way.”
Varian grinned, “Then shut up.”
He closed the distance between them again, this time going rougher. He made sure their teeth clashed as he went. Tongue battered as it fought with Varian’s. Head pulled towards him by his hair, unable to get away from Varian’s grasp. Hugo pushed Varian’s other wrist down into the couch, making him gasp in shock as it did things to his abdomen, making him feel even warmer.
Hugo moaned as Varian bit down on his lip, letting blood fill his mouth as Varian lapped it up. He was swimming on a high. Sweet crimson on his tongue alongside the boy he had been craving for months. And he never wanted to leave. Call him an addict.
As they finally parted, Hugo groaned as he realised that Varian had flipped them mid makeout session. Varian bent over him, knees between his legs, “So, now I win.”
“That was cheating, and you know it,” Hugo pouted, making his burning cheeks and bruised lips look even prettier. Varian did a good job.
“Don’t be a sore loser Hugh,” Varian teased, which lead to another hour of seeing who could stay on top for longer.
…
Turns out having a boyfriend still had more wonders than good makeout sessions.
He finally reached out to Rapunzel after a century and a half. Despite them not talking for a while, it only took them minutes to feel like siblings again. The stars seemed aligned in his favour when she confessed that she was thinking of moving back, and not only with Eugene, but a coven. A whole coven of vampires, that Varian would be a part of. He’d finally have a community he could belong in. Where he’s not a freak. Not a monster. Not weird.
Life seemed finally good again.
His dynamic with Hugo was… a fun one at that. They’d pretend to be ‘just friends’ in front of his bandmates, subtly teasing each other when they’d practice until one of them got so pent up that they’d drag the other behind the alleyway and kiss them until it hurt. Hugo had even started writing songs for him, full of heavy yearning and belting to make him feel like he’s ascending when he hears it, despite never being able to. It was the closest he’d get to heaven, hearing him sing about him. A secret only they shared. Fans could theorise all they wanted, but Varian knew who had Hugo’s heart.
Him.
He even confessed that he was vampire when he felt it becoming more serious. He knew the risk, he wasn’t a fool, and he knew that Hugo was probably going to leave. But, despite every voice inside Varian taunting him with the worst, Hugo was accepting. Hell, not just accepting, but thrilled. He said he loved every part of Varian, no matter how ugly Varian thought it was. Scars and fangs didn’t phase him. Not even Varian’s Capri Sun cartons filled with blood (he found it endearing actually).
Varian had finally found someone who looked at him, really looked at him, and didn’t see the red eyes and desire for blood. He saw Varian. His curiosity, his heart, and all the quirks that came with him, and loved each and every one.
…
Well, all good things cannot last. Varian’s lived long enough to know that.
Rapunzel was pacing up and down the dining room, muttering to herself and Eugene tried to get her to sit down, but to no avail. Rapunzel pacing was never a good sign. She was never one to get stressed, but when she did her panic could tear the entire kingdom down with how erratic she becomes. Her kindness is turned into danger. Her softness is dampened. And she is completely unreasonable.
Rapunzel pulled at her hair, “I still think someone’s following you Varian.”
Ah, yes. That’s what this was about. So, he’d come back after a long night with Hugo. Sneaking back in was usually his forte, but that night Rapunzel was on watch. Now the thing about the leader of their coven? Nothing got past her, despite her overexcitable nature, she could still catch when the slightest thing was amiss.
Varian sunk lower into his chair, “Well, I disagree. Now can I go to bed? It’s 7am.”
Rapunzel glowered, “Don’t try to change the subject. I know a werewolf is after you.”
“Oh yeah?” Varian snorted, “How?”
“You smell like a dog,” Rapunzel answered quickly, leading Varian to sit in shock. He hadn’t thought he was around any werewolves recently, hell after recent attacks he’d steered well clear of them.
Eugene quirked a brow, “Sunshine you’re being ridiculous, he smells fine—“
Eugene promptly tried to sniff him, making Varian hiss and flail to get away before the older man grabbed him by the shoulders.
Varian grumbled, “So this is assault by the way.”
Eugene wrinkled his nose in disgust as he pushed Varian’s body away, “Yeah okay he smells like a dog.”
“Hey!”
Eugene continued, “What are we going to do about it?”
Rapunzel fixed her gaze on him, “Varian, have you been hanging around a wolf recently?”
“Why would I do that? They hate us,” Varian rolled his eyes as he glanced at the door, wanting to make an escape.
“So they’re following you then,” Rapunzel sighed, “Have you noticed anything unusual?”
Well, then it hit him. Why he constantly had the pungent odour of a werewolf hanging around him. Let’s just say, it wasn’t a werewolf. It was Hugo’s pet dog.
He had met the dog the first time Hugo brought him home. The huge golden retriever jumped at him, wagging its tail as soon as they met. She was probably the most friendly dog he’d ever met in all of his years of living.
Varian could remember laughing as he pet her, “So what’s her name?”
“Reaper,” Hugo had answered immediately, looking dead serious about it. The fact that he had called a huge bundle of golden fur and smiles Reaper.
Varian laughed, “Right. You called a golden retriever Reaper? Are you sure that isn’t the name of your Rottweiler or…”
“Hey, don’t be like that. Under all that fur she’s secretly emo,” Hugo sassed back, getting a treat for Reaper.
“Right. Like you.”
So, back to the present. Seemingly spending so much time with Hugo, and inadvertently Reaper, had landed him with an all too similar smell to their archenemies, the werewolves.
So, he could either come out and say that it was his human boyfriend’s dog, or just let Rapunzel think it’s a werewolf. Well, the choice wasn’t hard to make. One involved revealing a huge secret he wasn’t sure they’d take well, and the other kept Hugo away from them, them happy with him, and overall everyone was pretty good.
So he lied, “Well, when I was out last night I was hearing weird noises, but I just thought I was being ridiculous.”
Rapunzel lit up at that, “Oh, where were you?”
Varian tried to level his voice as he continued, not wanting to be found out, “I can take you as soon as it gets dark.”
…
As he was trudging through woods he’s never actually been in before, but pointing around as if he was a local, he was really losing the will to do this. He was tired. It had been four hours. And Rapunzel didn’t know when to call it quits.
He had nearly walked through all of Corona at that point with Rapunzel, Eugene and Cassandra, and Varian’s plan of accidentally finding a werewolf and claiming that it was following him wasn’t going to plan, despite it being a full moon. Where were these wolves? Today was like their official day.
Honestly, he was just entertaining Rapunzel to try to get her to calm down, but she wouldn’t stop. Constantly bounding from place to place, set on the idea that she was getting closer every time (well she wasn’t, but hey she was trying).
Thankfully, Cassandra piped up, “Okay this is ridiculous Raps. Clearly they’re not here now. Varian smells normal again so we’ve probably missed them.”
Rapunzel argued back, “But—“
“Rapunzel, this isn’t helping. We’d be better off trying again some other time,” Cassandra tugged her back, leading Rapunzel to finally, after hours, let it go.
Varian was in the clear.
…
So, Varian wasn’t in the clear. Because Rapunzel wasn’t over it. And no one told him about it.
He woke up with a start, finding himself in the manor completely alone despite the moon only beginning to rise. Meaning one god awful thing: Rapunzel had gone to find the wolf again.
Whilst he had no interest in initially joining her little hunt, he got a call from her only a few moments after. A call that changed his perspective completely.
“Good evening Varian,” she grinned under the moonlight, letting it bask her skin and make her glow.
Varian sighed, “Hello to you too. Seems you couldn’t wait for me?”
Rapunzel frowned apologetically, “Oh I’m sorry, I just thought you weren’t the most interested.”
Well, she could say that again. He wanted another nap.
“But I just wanted to let you know, I’m so sure I’ve found them. The scent is so strong here. I’ll update you soon!”
Now, that wouldn’t alarm him by itself. She was just deluded into thinking she’s found a wolf out of desperation. She thinks that she’s being a responsible coven leader. A protective sister. But she had no idea how he was running circles around her right under her nose.
Besides, sometimes her care could tire him out. It was intense, something Varian didn’t deal with all too well. He hated touch, or soppy gestures or overly expressive shows of affection. Why gush about someone over and over, when you can lie peacefully next to them. Skin to skin. Breath shared. Dipping out of consciousness, knowing that you trust them to keep you warm and not harm you. Now that was intimacy.
Varian put down the phone, going to start an experiment when he paused, realising the background of Rapunzels video. Those houses looked familiar, as did the streetlights, the cars, the—
Oh fuck.
That was near Hugo’s house.
Varian’s breath stuttered as he switched into gear, running down the steps to Hugo’s house. He knew he only had mere minutes before Rapunzel got there. Or had she already got there? What if he was—
No, he couldn’t think like that. He wouldn’t. It would just slow him down. He needed a clear mind. He needed to be able to make a plan. He needed—
Varian slid to a stop as he saw Hugo’s door wide open. As he slowly entered, carefully in case of an attack, he walked in to see Hugo’s body lying in the middle of the carpet and Rapunzel standing over him as he bled out.
He wasn’t moving.
He wasn’t breathing.
He wouldn’t stop bleeding. It was everywhere, soaking even Reaper as the dog nuzzled its owner, seemingly trying to encourage him up. The poor girl probably thought he was sleeping, or playing a game with her. He’d wake up eventually.
Well, not everyone wakes up.
As soon he saw, he fell to his knees, placing Hugo’s head into his lap as he cradled his body. He knew that his hands were soaked in the same substance he called his curse, but for Hugo it didn’t matter. It dripped down his clothes as he tried to stop it, staining him with all that was left of his lover. All that he had to carry with him in the future.
He barely breathed out, “What have you done?”
Rapunzel quirked a brow, “I eliminated the wolf that was following you? He had the same smell.”
Because he spent every possible minute with him. Because he was either in his arms, or tangled in his legs. Because they were inseparable.
“Rapunzel, he was a human,” Varian tried to make his voice level, but he couldn’t help but wince as his voiced cracked.
Rapunzel quizzed, “Then why did he have the smell—“
Varian exploded, not able to contain his fury with her any longer, “He has a pet dog!”
At that moment, Reaper began to whimper as she couldn’t get her owner moving again. He moved to pet her, but retreated as drops of blood trickled into her coat.
Rapunzel pushed back, “He’s not a human, how come he knew your name when I arrived? And his smell was the exact same as yours!”
Varian took a deep breath, “Because I… know him.”
Eugene emerged from the shadows, “You know him? A human?”
Varian avoided eye contact as he shrunk back, “Can I not know humans now?”
“Only if you want to drink from them, otherwise what’s the point, “ Cassandra snarked back, tilting Hugo’s head with a claw, “Let’s go. We’re done here.”
Varian yelled, pushing Cassandra off, “Get off him!”
Three pairs of eyes fixed on him in shock, watching him closely for any sign of what was really going on.
Rapunzel changed her tone to something you’d use when approaching a wounded animal, “Varian… did he meant a lot to you?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Varian huffed, moving to position Hugo more comfortably, “Now get out.”
Cassandra picked it up immediately, “He’s your boyfriend, isn’t he?”
“I said get out! Now! I don’t want to see any of you again,” Varian yelled, fangs out as his eyes glowed red. They all stumbled backwards awkwardly, muttering small apologies and ‘I told you so’s’ before finally leaving him in peace.
He remembered the sound of something breaking. Not physically, but inside, something in him snapped that day. He sobbed raggedly as it happened. His sense of wonder? Gone. His sense of hope? Gone? His only source of happiness? Of course, gone. Because Varian didn’t get nice things, and he was a fool to believe otherwise.
And his body went cold again, as Hugo’s dead body froze next to his.
…
He attended the funeral. It wasn’t a grand affair, but it was exactly as he wanted. He took in Reaper after it happened, but he could barely keep up with feeding her. Some days she’d go hungry, some days kept up inside for so long she’d end up pacing herself silly and acting as if she was a caged circus animal. She would try to nudge him, get him to walk, to eat, to shower, but he couldn’t. He hadn’t talked to others in weeks. Rapunzels apologies fell on deaf ears, not only because he blamed her, because he did, but it was so much more complex and he was still trying to process it. It was his carelessness and fear of telling them the truth that ultimately got Hugo killed. He hated to say it, but it was. He really thought, despite past experiences and better judgement, that Rapunzel would stop? He was an idiot. An absolute idiot. The most useless piece of shit in this kingdom. No one else would do something like that, kill their own future as soon as they got it? Kill the one thing that fuelled them, the one person he finally opened his heart to.
All of that growth was for nothing. He was left alone in his own manor again. Rapunzel and the others had decided to take their leave after it had happened, which was probably for the best. He didn’t talk to Nuru and Yong, he couldn’t face them whilst knowing he took their best friend away. He knew that he was not only selfish for not saying a word, but a coward. But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bear to see their eyes, once filled with tenderness for him, be corrupted with malice. He’d seen it too much already.
So instead he hid. Hid in his bed, where the covers blanketed him from the reality of his situation. Staying in his home, gates blocking out the outside world. Here, he was in a haven. A haven where he could forget, a haven where he was allowed to exist without causing more pain.
As a vampire, he was taught to do special rites for the deceased. Of course, Varian never had much respect for rules, authority or even traditions surrounding mysticism. They were all superstitions, all made to justify actions. Their threats were fake, and the traditions themselves held no real power.
But for Hugo? He let himself slip into the easy motions of believing, believing that they did good for him. Because if it even brought him a sliver of peace, he’d do it time and time again.
It started with him covering every mirror in his house. Not only to focus his attention on Hugo, rather than himself, but because supposedly Hugo’s spirit could be trapped in them. He couldn’t bare to even imagine him trapped behind a mirror for eternity, just wishing for someone to speak to it for a moments entertainment in his long eternal prison of boredom. Then came the fasting. Whilst humans associated 40 days of fasting with their festival of new life, vampires associated it with death. But instead of eating and drinking after the sun had set, he wouldn’t get a single drop of blood. Whilst it was painful, leading him to become nearly comatose by the end, it was surprisingly the easiest one in terms of willpower, because sleeping away days was more of a blessing than a curse, and blood was never a delicacy for him. He went days without it by choice, whatever measure he took to ensure he didn’t have to look at it again, and watch the crimson pool as he was pulled back into the night Hugo died. The blood everywhere. On his hands. Literally. That, on top of his usual dislike for it, made it barely a challenge.
Then there was the veil. Vampires only wore a veil when mourning their own mate, to symbolise that they’ve lost someone so great that they can never see the same way again, and to prevent their hearts straying for others, and therefore upsetting the deceased’s spirit. It’s taken with great gravity, with the community usually piling in to support the veiled person. But for Varian? He sat alone in a black veil, knowing his mate would never come, nor the community to his aid. There was no one left to come.
And then there were daily offerings. This was the ritual he liked most of all because he could finally put his own twist to it. You chose whatever you wanted to offer, usually something you thought the deceased would like or need. For Varian: it was scientific creations, playing music for him, food that he liked, stones he found pretty, all burnt by a vanilla tobacco candle, his favourite.
But soon all the rituals didn’t fill him with hope. Or raise his spirits. Instead all they did was remind him of who he lost, over and over again. They trapped him in a simulation of his death, and forced him to relive it every single day. The smell of tobacco vanilla hung heavily over him, lingering in blankets and clothes as he breathed it in constantly, being dragged against his will through soft touches and hidden looks only they knew. Soon his body was slowing, he could barely keep up with any of the rituals, and he had to begin to drop them one by one, until he decided one day, to blow the candle out. The candle he had spent too long looking after, one that had burnt all the way down.
He thought he’d feel fear. Panic. But instead he felt an unnatural calm. Like this was the end that was always meant to be. A fitting conclusion for a man who had already died long ago. He had nothing left in his body to give. His heart was spent. His mind was tired. His bones old and aching to let go. He needed to let go.
Varian didn’t hesitate to open the curtains, letting his body rupture into flames as sunlight hit him for the first time in centuries.
After 327 years, Varian’s body was finally warm, and stayed that way.