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His chest slowly heaves up and down, using half of his strength for his arms and legs to push the car to it's full power. While that, he needs to control his speed without pressuring it to go beyond it's capabilities. And he sees what it can do to him.
"And it's the final lap of the race! Can Lewis Hamilton stay in the lead, or George Russell would take the win?"
Not that he could hear anything other than the car, but he is aware that the world is watching the seven-time world champion trying to achieve his first win for Ferrari. Every move he takes, the gaze of the crowd would not go away anytime soon during this lap.
This is the exact track he lost several of his points because of desperation, or maybe just recklessness, ten years ago. Lewis would only be lying to himself if he says he was never reminded of the past every year he steps foot on this track. His ego from the former version of him, came at the wrong time to remind of the things he did to get the world champion in triumph.
His leg slams onto the accelerator, gritting his teeth as if he's fighting side by side with Nico.
Nico.
Haven't said that name for years, often he would lost count of how long has it been since the infamous collision in this track, but fans and commentators would be the one to keep count.
Meanwhile in the paddock, Nico and the other two hosts discuss on who would be the one to host the post-race interview as soon as they return to the pits. He looks to his left to see the big screen, the cameras focusing on Lewis; his sweet Lewis. They've known eachother all their life before the decision of him moving to Mercedes would break them apart.
It was make or break for the team, and it landed on 'break' instead of the latter.
"Well since we have both of our workloads decided…" one of the journalists turns her head to him, "I think the job of interviewing for the post-race would go to you, Nico!"
His head jerked backward, pupils dilated with his mouth left agape. While that, Lewis's name was heard from the shouts of the commentators; an indicator of his first victory in Ferrari. Nico's breath shakened, immediately shifting his head to the left watching his car already beyond the finish line, without taking the fact he left the journalist unanswered.
He did it. He actually did it.
Nico views the crowd gathering around eachother, hopping on both their feets chanting his name. This may be the time he hears of his name the most. Hearing them chanting his name is like hearing the proclamation of a new king.
"Nico?" she called. He releases a sharp inhale and turns back to the other two, "What were you saying?"
He knew what she said and meant, but has no capability to reciprocate that infomation. Who could anyway? Especially with having to face someone filled with shared history after years.
To believe that Nico himself claimed that the 2016 Barcelona Grand Prix was the moment that revealed Lewis's unworthiness of winning the world champion — "He never changed," Nico tries to convince himself because of the incident, for Lewis's ego consumed him to fulfil his own self-interests, his own best friend being headstrong to go his way. Nico couldn't take it anymore.
"You will be interviewing the top three finishers, is that okay with you?" she repeated. He nods as a response, "That'll be great."
How uncouth can you be, to where you could perform in this sport for so long?
***
His heart grew heavier, telling his brain repeatedly to view him like a normal winner in every race. A lump grew on his throat with every second that passes, before his former foe finally arrives to the scene.
"…Lewis, you did it! You're a Ferrari race winner, after all that difficult start last year how does this one feel for you?" he points the microphone at him. Go on Lewis — show them how cocky you are with your win.
Lewis places his hand on his forehead, looking at the crowd seemingly finding an exit. The atmopshere implying that it wasn't easy for the two to face eachother at this moment, but wasn't the slate already wiped clean between the two despite not being as close as the last time? Are either of them still think that it's the other person's fault? Even so, how could they ever control what they believe about eachother?
What a quiet silence, before he finally parts his lips to say his thanks to the team and his fans. Despite everything that occured, he grew to be better and not everyone could uphold such strength.
Nico had no reason to believe why his anger and choice to walk away from him can be justified. If he lays all his cards on the table, everyone around him said the same thing: he never lets his mistakes nor other people's opinions define who he is as a mere human.
Lewis could barely look at him the eye, an invisible wall being built around himself from him, and it only took half a minute for Lewis to finally stand still.
Nico speaks about how uncouth Lewis is, yet Nico was the one that caused disruption towards him first in certain races, perhaps Lewis was only responding to what he was doing.
Perhaps he was the problem here.
***
Smoke releases from his lips, as Nico stares it evaporating with the wind. He could still hear music from the circuit, and he is just at the parking lot a few steps away from the entrace of the paddock. Smoking alone contains no fun, wishing for a friend or even a stranger to join in.
The sound of chains rang in Nico's ears, and he immediately turns his head to the right. Lewis, with both of his arms tucked onto the pocket of his red sweater and the sound of chains coming from his earrings. He blinked a few times, "Hey." the man broke the silence.
Lewis shifts his attention to the ground, before eventually shifts closer to lean at the front of Nico's car next to him. Halfway through the day, as pinkish skies appear above the and the sun halfway gone.
"You smoke often?"
"Uh, not really."
Silence.
Nico felt like a monster, left him broken-hearted of the frail friendship because of their rivalry. From the start, everyone expected them to fight against eachother combined with media pressure. Both let it affect them rather than working it through together. In truth, their friendship was never doomed, it only became one when they choose how they should act when faced with competition.
The champion lifts his head, the vehicles are getting lesser and lesser with other people now heading back home. "Sorry I couldn't stop for the interview, I can't be late to the anthem." confessed Lewis. What are the odds of him being ignorant now?
Atleast it's better than getting ignored, "It's perfectly fine, it wouldn't look pleasant for Barcelona's Grand Prix winner to be late for such an important moment." answered Nico. Lewis turns his head to him, "Could I grab a smoke?"
Nico nearly dropped his cigarette, thinking that Formula 1 athletes aren't allowed to fully participate in acts like these. The only times where Nico actually smokes is when he's in bad shape, mentally. "Try harder," he grinned, he hangs his cigarette on his lips.
Lewis tilts his head with one arm leaning against the car, "I could pay you a box of those, as many as you want. You could reserve it just for you and me." his voice deepened. Nico's eyes widened, his voice is close to his ear, too close. His face grew warm as he took out the cigarette from his lips, while regaining composure from his shallow breathing.
"You want me to smoke from yours?" he asked. "Take it or leave it." answered Nico. Lewis reads him like a book, as he could tell what he felt based on his breathing patterns just like the old days. He took the cigarette as Nico ignites the lighter and leans it closer to the tobacco.
He places the lighter away, arms crossed pondering how he even ended up here. He was just doing his job, until he had to face someone known as one of his biggest challenge in his entire life. The discomfort remained for a long while, as he then adapts to it.
Were they never fully over the fallout, let alone eachother?
"All this, I did it for me. Feel however you'd like, you're not the only person that says all kinds of things." he called Nico out, smoke filling in his nostrills. Lewis had to learn how to live without him, and now they are nothing but fragments of past memories of eachother.
"I just…came to check in, seeing you struggling to host the interview must've been hard." Lewis broke the silence. How long has this man been around to see him mentally prepare for that moment?
"How did you find peace? Instead of letting what others said define you, you grew to be better." Nico let his pride down.
"You've got a choice in life. When you hear feedback from someone, you could either take it like a man, or grew envious over it. You become what you think about, if you think you can accept and grow, then you will. If otherwise, then that will happen." explained Lewis.
He slowly nods, processing the advice onto his mind. "Sometimes I wonder why you haven't retired, you could be the therapist I visit daily from all we know." admitted Nico. Lewis tugged a playful grin, before lightly shoving his shoulder with his. He dropped the cigarette and stomped on it, evaporating the tiny fire.
Lewis took a step back before turning around and walks. Nico bit his lip, fighting against the urge to call him. He then froze, "Want to see me? Well, you know where to find me."
Lewis had that tiny fight left in him, showing what he's capable of. A small part of his behavior asks everyone a burning question: Are you happy?
He continues walking forward, entering the paddock.
People come and go, but the lessons remain. And he's happy for him to have put the lesson to a good cause.