Archive of Our Own

Osamu has never kissed anyone in his 20 years of life and unlike what Atsumu thinks, he’s perfectly fine with that. He’s never found the need to kiss anyone, not when he’s only truly crushed on two people in his entire life. It was never a priority and he’s perfectly content with that. Honestly, if he thinks about it a little too hard, there’s something odd about rubbing lips with someone and exchanging spit with them. There’s something fundamental about the concept of kissing that has never truly clicked with him. Maybe he would understand it if he actually engaged in the act, but well, he doesn’t exactly want to most of the time. 

He’s thinking this over as a guy from a neighboring college leans in close to him and runs his words together. Osamu’s paying enough attention to him, but he’s already forgotten the guy’s name and how they even started talking. He’s not even drunk enough to forget this, but the guy has made his intentions so very clear that it’s turning Osamu further away from the entire conversation until he’s just nodding along and offering simple answers. 

His eyes scan the area in search of Atsumu and Suna, wondering how long it takes for them to grab new drinks. The guy keeps talking to him and Osamu keeps giving him the bare amount of attention. Finally, his eyes catch Suna’s and he pushes away from the wall as the guy leans in closer to his face. He barely gets out a farewell before he’s taking long strides towards Suna and pressing up next to him. 

“You good?” Suna asks, sparing a brief look over at the guy before looking back at Osamu and handing him a new drink. 

“Mm, yeah. Where’s Tsumu?”

“Spin The Bottle,” Suna says, bringing his cup to his lips. 

Osamu frowns in confusion, looking at golden eyes over a red rim. “What?” 

Suna waves his hand in the opposite direction he came from. “There’s a game of Spin The Bottle going on.”

“Oh.” Osamu isn’t sure what really to say to that, or if there’s a proper response for it. When he participates in games at parties, it's typically drinking games where he can partner up with Suna and piss his brother off by winning at the last moments. 

Suna nods in the direction and leads him that way. They come up to a small group of people Osamu doesn’t recognize, but his brother waves them over to sit next to him. Apprehension builds in him as he sits down and he starts running ideas through his head on how to get out of participating in this game. Ideas of pretending to get sick, or receive a phone call, or just get up without saying anything passes through his mind as the girl across from him spins the empty bottle in the middle. 

It spins, and spins, and spins, and for a second Osamu watches in horror as it slows down towards him. 

But then it passes and lands on his brother. A massive sigh of relief leaves him as Atsumu grins over at the girl. Suna looks over at him, eyebrow raised with a question Osamu ignores in favor of sipping his drink. The two sit up on their knees to lean forward in the circle, Atsumu settling a hand on the girl’s waist and cupping her cheek. Osamu tips his drink higher until he can’t watch his brother kiss the girl and the burn of alcohol is almost enough to distract him from the weird feeling in his stomach. 

The game continues soon after and by the time the bottle comes to Osamu’s hand, he’s already finished his drink and his head is starting to cloud over. He’s sober enough to pause on his way to grabbing the bottle, thinking about the fact that he’s never kissed anyone before and he’s about to lose his first kiss and it’ll be to some random stranger and he’s going to be swapping spit with someone he doesn’t know. 

“Hurry up, Samu! Either spin, or pass the bottle,” Atsumu harps. 

Osamu takes in a breath, spinning the bottle before he can think about his choices again. His vision narrows on the spinning bottle and the noise around him drowns out to nothing. He should be worried with how fast his heart is beating, with how adrenaline rushes through him at an alarming pace, but all he can focus on is the spinning bottle. 

It slows, and slows, and eventually comes to a stop. Osamu pauses, staring down at the bottle and wondering if he’s looking at it weirdly. A moment passes before he finally meets Suna’s eyes. 

The other raises an eyebrow, leaning closer. “Well?”

Suddenly, the air around him is a little too suffocating and the alcohol in him is threatening to come up. Thoughts other than not being able to properly kiss run through his mind–thoughts like this is his best friend, and they’re playing spin the bottle, and is he really going to kiss his best friend? 

“Samu, come on!” Atsumu complains again, and it’s followed by a round of cheers this time, people from the circle urging them on. 

“Osamu?” Suna asks again, and there’s an opportunity for Osamu to back down, but there’s also a familiar look of challenge in his eyes that’s always managed to get under Osamu’s skin and egg him on. 

“Fine,” he says, setting his drink down in order to hook his hand into Suna’s collar and tug him forward. 

The last thing he sees is the upturning of Suna’s lips before he closes his eyes and meets the other half way. He wishes he could say kissing Suna is life changing, but it’s nothing more than the pressing of lips. Suna’s lips are soft though, and the small intake of breath and the way he grabs onto Osamu’s hip is kind of pleasant, but it’s not anything Earth shattering. 

Suna moves his lips, prying Osamu’s own open and licking gently into his mouth. It has Osamu’s nose scrunching and then he’s backing away from the intrusion. When he opens his eyes, Suna is staring at him through half-lidded eyes that have him taking in a sharp breath. Suna narrows his eyes further, but Osamu breaks eye contact before he can give the other more to think about and watches as someone else grabs the bottle to spin it. He still feels eyes on him when he pulls his phone out with shaking hands to check for any new notifications, using the action to excuse himself and leave the circle. 

When Atsumu and Suna find him outside, he’s on a video call with Ginjima. Atsumu snatches the phone from him quickly, telling their friend about the night and how he should’ve come out with them. Suna stands across from him, leaning on the railing for support. Osamu glances over at him, sharing a moment of eye contact, but when Atsumu mentions their kiss and Ginjima lets out a loud gasp, he looks away and prays his cheeks aren’t as pink as they feel. 

“You’ve never kissed anyone before,” Suna randomly says, pulling Osamu’s attention right back to him. 

“What?” Osamu blinks in confusion, but Suna is staring at him with that infuriating blank stare and Osamu feels his hackles raise despite knowing the other is just trying to bait him into saying more. “Shut up, yes I have.”

“Okay,” Suna responds in such a giving way that Osamu knows the other doesn’t believe his words. 

“Tsumu, get off the phone,” he says, instead turning his ire onto his brother and wrangling to the phone from his hand. He tells Ginjima goodbye and hangs up, dragging the others back into the party and firmly leaving everything outside. 

He came to this party to have a good time and drink, not think about his lack of experience and the way kissing his best friend felt so neutral he’s almost convinced there’s nothing special about kissing. 

Except, the way Suna stared at him after pulling away and the way he grabbed onto Osamu and breathed into his mouth wasn’t so bad. 

Osamu feels more annoyed with himself than he should for thinking that and grabs another drink from the kitchen to drown his thoughts. 

“That kiss with Sunarin was…something,” Atsumu says the next morning, wandering into the kitchen and taking a seat at the island. 

Osamu slides a plate of breakfast over to him without meeting his eyes. “Not really.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean exactly that,” Osamu says, keeping his voice steady and stabbing around at his plate. “It was just a game.”

Atsumu lets out a sharp laugh. “Yeah, sure, Samu. You kissed the guy you’ve been crushing on for the past four years, but it was just a game.”

“Shut up and eat before your food gets cold,” Osamu gripes, finishing his last bite before setting his plate in the sink. He collects his things, telling Atsumu to lock the door on his way out, and heads to his shift. On the walk over, he finally responds to the message Suna sent him asking if he’ll come over this weekend, and tries not to think too deeply about Atsumu’s words. It’s fairly easy to do, but that’s probably due to the fact Osamu has been learning over the years how to compartmentalize everything that is Suna into different boxes and storing them for times when he feels particularly moody. 

There’s too many feelings surrounding Suna that he doesn’t have names to or the ability to decipher, so it’s easier for him to just ignore them and continue about his day. 

Sure, he shared his first kiss with his best friend, but it’s not like that’s a crazy experience to have, nor was it actually crazy to experience. 

One of Suna’s roommates, Washio, lets Osamu in when he knocks on Suna’s door Friday night. 

“Hey, man,” he says, letting Osamu into the apartment EJP Raijin supplies the team. It’s ten times nicer than the small college one he has and it's always times like this where Osamu thinks he should’ve gone pro with his brother. “How was the train ride?”

“Actually, it wasn’t as bad as it normally is,” he says, slipping his shoes off. “Is Suna here?”

Washio nods towards the hallway. “He’s in his room.”

Osamu gives his thanks and walks towards Suna’s room, opening the door to hear the showering running and faint music coming from the bathroom. Osamu changes into the sweats he packed before tossing his duffel bag on the ground and climbing on the bed. By the time Suna comes out of the room, he has a movie playing and the take-out he brought set up. 

“What’d you get?”

“Chinese from that restaurant you like,” Osamu replies, looking over at him. 

A slow smile makes its way onto Suna’s lips and something warm settles in Osamu’s stomach from seeing it. Their kiss crosses his mind and he forces himself to look away as Suna tugs on a shirt. The bed dips next to him and a warm shoulder presses up next to him. 

“How was practice?” He asks, passing Suna’s food over to him. 

“So exhausting.” Suna lets out a heavy sigh, staring at the TV with lidded eyes. “I know the season is about to start up, but I just…it’s a lot.”

Osamu scoots over to look at him, taking in the exhaustion sitting heavy on him, almost like a physical weight tugging him down. Suna looks over at him and smirks slightly. 

“Maybe I should’ve just gone to college with you.”

A small laugh leaves him. “Yeah, like that would’ve been good for both you and me.”

Suna lets out an exaggerated sound of offense. “What do you mean? We would’ve shared a dorm and apartment, I would get an endless supply of home cooked meals, you would help me with all my classes, and I would provide you with my presence.” 

“That sounds awfully much better for you than me,” Osamu tells him, setting his meal down. “Plus, you wouldn’t need any help with those classes. And I already cook for you.”

Suna lets out a small hum. “Yeah, you do, don’t you?”

A moment of silence except for the TV passes before Osamu says, “it’ll pass soon.”

“Yeah, and then the playing season will get even worse.”

“Are you enjoying it?”

Suna blinks, biting at his lip. Osamu watches a pleased look cross Suna’s face, settling in place and confirming what Osamu already knows. It’s the same look that Atsumu gets when he’s staring at a volleyball court for too long. 

“I am, yeah.”

“Then you’ll be fine.”

“Alright, but I can still complain.”

“You’re just as bad as Tsumu.”

“Yeah, but I’m not as annoying.”

Osamu laughs, leaning back against the wall. “I’m going to tell him you said that.”

Suna shrugs, turning over on his side to face him. “It’s not like he doesn’t already knows.”

There’s another moment where they stare at each other and the air around them changes–becomes more charged. Osamu takes a deep breath and Suna’s eyes track every part of him. 

“So,” he starts, and Osamu already knows where this is going, and can already feel his cheeks start to heat up. “That was your first kiss.”

“I mean…” Osamu trails off, trying to find an excuse or diversion, and coming up empty. “I thought you already knew that.”

“I suspected it, but I didn’t know,” he says with a small shrug. “I would’ve made it more special.”

Osamu raises an eyebrow. “Special? Who said I wanted my first kiss to be with you?”

“Did you?”

No is on the tip of his tongue, ready to be said, but his mouth dries up and his lips stay closed. 

Suna blinks again and Osamu hates the way his silence is almost an answer. It’s not even the correct answer. 

He doesn’t even know what the correct answer is. 

“Did you like it?”

“It was okay, I guess.” Osamu grabs his water bottle, taking a sip to buy himself more time. “With the way everyone talks about it, I was expecting a little more.”

“More?”

Osamu shrugs, looking down at his friend. “It really wasn’t anything special.”

“I should be offended, but I’ll let it pass this time due to your lack of experience,” Suna tells him, sitting up. 

“Thanks so much,” he drawls. 

“Want to try again?”

“What?” 

“Want to kiss again? I can show you how special it actually is,” Suna tells him. “It’s a lot better than what happened at the party.”

“And how do you know that?”

Suna smirks, leaning towards him. “Wouldn’t you want to know.”

Osamu frowns. “I mean, yeah. What if I get mono?”

“You’re not going to get mono,” he says, frowning indignantly. “And I haven’t kissed anyone recently.”

“Right.”

“So, do you want to?”

Osamu stares at his best friend and the only thought that crosses his mind is, I better not regret this. “Fine. Show me the wonders of kissing.”

Suna grins, pushing the food down the bed. “You’re about to be blown away.”

“I doubt that, but fine.” He scoots closer on the bed until their knees are pressing against each other. “How do you want to do this?”

Suna hums, looking at their position. “This is fine for now. I’m going to set my hand on your cheek now.”

A large hand slides up his neck and cups his cheek. Osamu stares into the eyes across from him and for some reason amusement bubbles up in him. He laughs, bending forward to rest his forehead against Suna’s shoulder. For a moment, everything disappears and they go back to just being friends. 

“This is so stupid.”

There’s mirth in Suna’s words when he says, “a little, yeah.”

Osamu sits back up and gets control of himself. “Okay, let's try again.”

Suna smiles briefly before leaning towards him. Osamu watches him get closer until his eyes cross and he closes them. Their noses brush against each other and Osamu can almost feel the other’s lips against his, but Suna pauses. A second passes without anything happening and Osamu opens his eyes to find golden eyes staring at him. 

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Suna whispers, voice a little hoarse from his low tone. 

A shiver crawls up Osamu’s skin. “Okay.”

There’s another moment before Suna leans in fully to press their lips together. And really, Osamu doesn’t know why he thought this time would be any different from last time, but it’s still the same bland feeling. Suna moves his lips slowly, coaxing him to follow the movements. But it’s awkward and unnatural, so he pulls away with a frown. 

“I don’t get it.”

Suna snorts, leaning back in. Their lips press against each other again, but this time Suna licks at his bottom lip, sliding his hand down to grab onto Osamu’s neck. Suna pulls him closer, sucking at his bottom lip gently before prodding at his lips until Osamu opens them for him. It tickles when Suna licks into his mouth and he scrunches up, pulling away. Osamu lets out a rush of air, opening his eyes up quickly. 

“Yes?” Suna asks. 

Osamu frowns a little. “Maybe?”

“Let’s try this,” Suna says, pulling him even closer until Osamu’s in his lap. Suna guides his hands to rest on his shoulders before grabbing his hips and squeezing them gently. He feels out of place sitting like this—like this is somehow wrong because since when in their friendship did they get comfortable being this close to each other?—but Suna slips his fingers under the waist band of his sweatpants and Osamu finds he doesn’t mind it too much. 

Still, he’s about to tell him he doesn’t think this’ll change his mind about kissing, but Suna leans in again to kiss him. They follow the same routine as last time: Suna moves his lips, getting him to follow his direction, and then licks at his lips until Osamu lets him into his mouth. But this time, Suna grabs his hips to tug him forward, tilting his head until he can reach deep into his mouth. Osamu follows as best as he can, overwhelmed at the sudden change and desperately trying to keep up with him. When Suna licks at the back of his teeth and then bites at his bottom lip, Osamu lets out a startled sound and grips onto Suna’s shoulders tightly. He pulls away, mostly from shock, and looks down at the other. 

Suna, the bastard, takes one look at his face before laughing. 

“Shut up,” Osamu says sharply. “It’s not funny. I just wasn’t expecting that.”

Suna leans in to bite at his bottom lip again, pulling on it as he backs away. Osamu’s hands tighten on his shoulders again and a gooseflesh breaks out on his arms. “I laughed.”

“Well, you’re just an asshole.”

“Maybe.” 

Suna leans back against the headboard and stares up at him, digging his fingers into Osamu’s hipbones. There’s something heavy in his gaze, and Osamu kind of likes his wet lips and hazy eyes, the way his still damp hair falls over his eyes. 

Osamu takes in a deep breath, body tightening up on its own as his mind starts slipping into thoughts he tries not to dwell on. 

“I still don’t think I get it,” he says after a moment of silence, letting his hands drop onto his lap. 

“You just want to kiss me again,” Suna declares. 

“No. There is just something odd about kissing,” Osamu says, looking away from the other. He frowns slightly, glancing back at Suna. “Like, the fundamental concept of it. Who even came up with the idea that swapping spit would feel good?”

“So you don’t like it?”

Osamu looks away, embarrassment washing over him. He shifts in Suna’s lap, falling over to the side and onto the mattress. “Well, I didn’t necessarily say that.” 

Suna hums quietly, looking at him with assessing eyes. “Well, you’re still a pretty shit kisser, so it might take a few more times until you’re socially acceptable and can enjoy the true experience of make out sessions.”

“Right, because I was definitely looking to become a socially acceptable kisser.’

Suna laughs, grabbing the food at the end of the bed. Osamu ignores the warm, tingly feeling in his body, and tries to focus on the movie playing. It’s significantly harder than what it should be with Suna pressed next to him, smelling fresh from a shower, and with the feeling of soft lips lingering on his own. He takes a deep breath, sinking down onto the bed and wondering if there is actually going to be a next time. 

It was so much easier being Suna’s best friend Pre-Kissing™. 

Before whenever Osamu saw or thought of Suna, all he saw was his best friend: the Suna who gets into pettier fights with Atsumu than he does, the Suna who will make entire Power Points over the dumbest media he recently consumed, the Suna that will crack stupid jokes while they’re trying to fall asleep, the Suna who left his whole hygiene bag at home during a volleyball camp. Before, Osamu could look at Suna and only see his best friend, and only in the dead of the night when he was alone with his thoughts would they spiral into something more suggestive. Like wondering if the way Suna would look at him sometimes could mean something more, or think about the tight feeling in his gut when Suna would get too close to him for too long, or how in another life, Osamu thinks they would go out with each other. Those thoughts never turned into anything more than late night thoughts because in the morning, it was easy for Osamu to push them aside and continue like normal.

Now though…Now every time Osamu looks at his friend, all he can think of is the fact they shared a kiss–multiple kisses in fact. And the way Suna was so willing with it, how he offered it up so easily, and the way Osamu gave into him so easily. 

Kissing Suna that night at that party was Osamu opening up Pandora’s box. And Osamu kind of regrets it only because he knows Suna is just being Suna and he probably just got himself into a headache he didn’t need with the way his brain won’t stop thinking. 

Osamu sighs deeply, rubbing at the bridge of his nose as he follows Atsumu and some of his teammates into the EJP Raijin gym. His twin gives him a questioning look, but Osamu waves him off as they find a place to sit on the visiting side of the gym in the first row. It doesn’t take long for Suna to spot them, and he’s quick to walk over with Komori and Washio. 

“What are y’all doing here?” He asks, locking eyes with Atsumu. 

“Obviously scoping out the competition,” Atsumu tells him snappishly. “We gotta know what we’re gonna be up against next month.”

Suna hums, assessing the other player before turning to Osamu and hoping up on the rail to become eye-level with him. Osamu’s eyes widen slightly from how close Suna suddenly becomes, but he smiles at the other and pulls the container of onigiri he made out. Suna glances down at it and a wide grin breaks out on his face as he looks back up at Osamu with gleaming eyes. 

“It’s not just for you,” Osamu tells him, breaking eye contact with him. 

“I’m only sharing if my teammates are good today,” Suna declares. 

Osamu watches as Komori breaks away from his conversation with the MSBY team in order to smack Suna on the back of the head and wrangle the container from his hands. A laugh escapes him as Komori eventually gives up on trying to take the container away. Suna glares over at Osamu when he laughs, climbing back onto the railing and getting back in Osamu’s space. 

“Nervous?”

Suna shrugs, glancing away. “Only a little. The coaches are going to use this as a final assessment to see who should be in the starting line up and what-not.”

There’s a sort of detached feeling to Suna’s words that tell Osamu he’s more than a little nervous. Plus, he won’t meet Osamu’s eyes and that’s an indicator in itself of how nervous he is about this because Osamu’s the only person he won’t hold eye contact with when telling a lie. 

“You’re going to do amazing out there,” Osamu tells him in a quiet voice, allowing Suna the time to make eye contact on his own. “You’re amazing, Rin.”

Suna stares at him for a moment, eyes moving ever so slightly as he looks over Osamu’s face. He lets Suna find whatever he needs to find in him, quietly waiting for the other to let out a long breath and relax his shoulders. 

“Okay.”

“You’re also treating me to dinner afterwards,” Osamu tells him with a grin. 

Suna rolls his eyes, letting out an amused scoff and dropping from the railing. “Yeah, okay.”

The three EJP Raijin members head back for their team as the coaches start rounding everyone up. Osamu watches Suna place the container of onigiri behind the water jugs and tries to control the swell of affection trying to rise in him. He settles in with his brother and his teammates to watch the scrimmage, and even though it’s only a scrimmage and he told Suna he was going to do great on the court, anxiety racks through his body as he watches Suna get swapped in and out throughout the match. 

Eventually, the scrimmage ends with EJP Raijin taking the match. Osamu lets out a sigh of relief he definitely didn’t need to seeing as how he wasn’t the one playing. He sends Suna the location of the bar the MSBY members are going to and then follows behind them as they discuss the match. It’s always a little awkward being around Atsumu and his teammates, if only because he’s no longer in that world, but he offers his input whenever prompted and Hinata is too kind of a person to ever truly leave him excluded from the conversation. 

“How come you didn’t make me onigiri for my scrimmage last week?” Atsumu asks as they push a few high tables together and order some appetizers. 

“Becuase I didn’t want to,” Osamu tells him simply, opening Suna’s contact for the nth time. He tries not to feel disappointed at the lack of new messages and closes his phone. When he looks up, he looks past the table and meets Suna’s eyes as he walks closer with Komori and Washio. 

“Looking for me?” Suna asks with a grin, pulling up a chair next to him and getting too far into Osamu’s space. 

He smells like a fresh shower, with the ends of his hair curling up under his ears as they dry and reminding Osamu of the night in his room. Against his will, his eyes cut down to Suna’s lips and linger for far too long. 

“Why would I do that?”

Instead of retorting, Suna laughs gently and pushes his thigh against his. Osamu cracks a smile, hiding it in his cup. 

“You’re in a good mood,” he notes. “Feeling good about the scrimmage?”

“A little,” Suna says, a small, pleased smile gracing his lips. He looks around the table before he looks back at Osamu and leans forward. “Want to get out of here?” 

“You haven’t eaten.”

“I still have that onirigi.”

Osamu lets out a deep sigh, but the effect is ruined by the grin eating away at Suna’s lips. His very pretty lips. Osamu swallows harshly, looking over at his brother to bid him a goodbye. Moments later, the two of them are pushing out of the establishment and onto the street. A cool breeze blows through the streets and they keep bumping into each other, but Suna is talking about the upcoming season and Osamu’s in too good of a mood to care that much. Suna pauses in the middle of an alleyway, looking up at the sky silently. Osamu turns back to look at him, the question on his tongue dying as Suna meets his eyes. 

“Samu.” 

Osamu raises an eyebrow, but his tongue feels too heavy to make out any words to respond with. 

Suna looks at him, biting at his bottom lip before shaking his head. “Sorry, I’m being silly.”

Osamu doesn’t really care that much, not with how at peace and soft Suna looks standing in the middle of the street with only the dim lights from the buildings around making him visible. A heavy breath forces its way into his chest and he looks away from the soft pink of Suna’s lips. 

“Rin,” he starts, the rising need to reach out and touch him taking place. “I want…”

A moment passes where Osamu doesn’t say anything and he can only imagine the expression on his face. He doesn’t want to think about it. 

“Hm?” Suna asks, taking a step forward. 

“Can I–” Osamu stops himself, trying to think through his words and what he’s even asking for. “Can I kiss you?”

Suna’s eyes widen and he stands up a little straighter. “Right now?”

Osamu glances around at the alleyway, but there’s no one around except the two of them. “Well, I guess… I mean… Ignore what I just said, I’m being stupid.”

He moves to turn around and flee the awkwardness surrounding them when Suna blurts, “yes, you can.”

This time, Osamu’s eyes widen and the disbelief is heavy in his voice. “What?”

Suna’s demeanor changes into something familiar, the sly look coming back to his eyes as he tilts his head down to look at Osamu. “I was wondering why you were looking at me all funny.”

“Shut up.” 

“Make me.”

“Just so you know, that was so bad,” Osamu tells him, but walks forward until Suna hits the wall behind him. He crowds into the other’s space, similar to how Suna had done in the past, but embarrassment settles over him easily. 

“It was sexy coming from me,” Suna says, draping his arms around Osamu’s shoulders to keep him from backing away. “My sex appeal is off the charts, you know this.”

“Whatever,” Osamu grumbles, embarrassment turning into annoyance just as quickly as it came. He surges forward with nothing more than the intent to shut the other up and act on whatever feeling has been building in him since the last time they did this. 

He’s too clumsy though–too over eager and inexperienced–to kiss Suna properly. Their teeth hit each other, synonymous winces breaking past their lips. Osamu tries again, opening his eyes slightly to see where exactly he’s aiming for. It’s a little better, but it’s not as soft or well-placed as Suna’s kisses were. He’s ready to pull away completely and leave, give up the entire endeavor in favor of going back to his apartment and subjecting himself to a life of solitude. 

A low laugh makes its way out of Suna, vibrating against his chest and pushing minty air against his face. Large hands cup the sides of his face to hold him in place and Suna pulls back enough to look at him through his lashes. 

Honestly, Osamu doesn’t know where the idea of the heart holding all the feelings comes from because his stomach is doing all types of funny tricks and flips the longer Suna gazes down at him. 

“I take it I’m doing it wrong,” he guesses, voice horace and dry. 

Mirth paints the sharp features of Suna’s face. “How’d you guess?”

Osamu rolls his eyes, leaning forward to kiss the other if only to get him to stop looking at him like that and teasing him. Suna tightens the hands on his face, slowing him down enough for their lips to properly align. Osamu’s hands twitch before reaching out to grab at slim hips, clenching and unclenching as he moves his lips against the ones he’s been staring at all day. Suna leans back into the wall, dragging Osamu with him and causing him to stumble into him. He pushes Suna’s hips against the wall, slotting himself in between the other’s legs as he tries to find his footing. Suna hums into his mouth, nipping at his bottom lip as he moves his hands into Osamu’s hair. 

He tries to follow Suna’s lead, attempting to return the movements he’s received, but he accidentally bites on Suna’s lip too hard when he does. His friend pulls back, wiping at his bottom lip only to have his thumb come back with a light smear of blood. 

“Shit.”

Suna licks at his thumb, causing Osamu to grimace and want to die from embarrassment. “It happens. My lips are kind of chapped anyway.” 

Osamu doesn’t want to know what they feel like when they aren’t chapped. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m perfectly fine. I’m not opposed to biting.”

Osamu blinks, staring at the other with wide eyes. “Oh. Right.” 

Suna snorts, tugging on his hair to pull him back in. “Come on, try again.”

A shiver racks down his spine as he kisses the other again. Osamu nips lightly at Suna’s lip this time, kissing it gently for no other reason than feeling mildly bad about the pain he probably caused. He licks at the seam of Suna’s lips, pushing past them and into his mouth, but Suna pulls him back again by his hair. 

“You’re going too fast,” he says, wiping at his mouth. “Slow down, okay? It’s too much at once.”

“Oh.” Osamu hates the dejection in his voice. 

Suna looks at him before shifting against the wall. “Some people like that, but it’s easier to take it inch-by-inch.”

“That doesn’t sound right.”

“Shut up, and listen.” Osamu closes his mouth. Suna pulls him closer again, kissing him once and then twice, and then licking at his bottom lip once, and then again. “Start off like that,” he says quietly, “and then open the other person’s mouth. Slowly.” Suna repeats his actions before licking at the seam of Osamu’s lips. When he opens his mouth, the other flicks his tongue into his mouth before pulling back. Osamu tries following after him, finding Suna’s lips once more. 

It’s almost like the other is playing a game with him. Suna gently licks into his mouth, pulling back enough for Osamu to careen forward in search of more, and eventually he’s granted everything. A low noise comes out of him when Suna pushes deep into his mouth and he pulls away before he can let out another one. 

“Like that, okay?” 

Osamu wipes at his mouth, looking up at the other and panting slightly. “Right.” 

If Suna had an ability to hypnotize people, or pull them under a spell like sirens do, Osamu thinks he would fall for it in a heartbeat. One head tuck and fluttering of eyelashes has him leaning back in a little too quickly, breathing in the air the other lets out, and licking at Suna’s bottom lip. His friend opens up under him easily and it’s a little intoxicating. His hands jump from Suna’s hips to his waist, fingers tucking under his shirt and clenching the warm skin under his hands. 

He’s not good at this whatsoever. 

But Suna lets out a small gasp when his tongue grazes over the back of his upper teeth, and the hands in his hair tighten to painful levels when Osamu pushes a little too much of his tongue into his mouth, and he’s whispering “Samu” into his mouth when he accidentally nips too hard at his lips. 

Osamu can almost understand the hype around kissing and why so many people are desperate for it. 

There’s a loud bang of a door opening nearby, forcing the two of them apart. Suna lets out a small broken sound when they separate, fingers digging into his scalp before they loosen. Osamu leans back in for another kiss, but shouting has him stopping right before he can close the gap. Their lips brush against each other as they pant into each other’s mouths, chests heaving and fingers twitching. Osamu licks his lips, pulling back enough to open his eyes and look at the other. 

“You kind of suck at that,” Suna tells him, but the drunken expression on his face is saying a different story. 

Osamu takes in the flush of his cheeks and how his eye lashes droop, finally looking down at the bruised and slick mouth that’s been the ever constant invader of his thoughts. He’s tempted to kiss those lips again, if only to get Suna to stop talking. He’s always talking and only half of the stuff that he says holds the truth. 

Osamu meets dark gold eyes again. “I guess I’ll need to practice some more.”

If possible, he thinks Suna’s eyes darken more at those words, but his brain is also drunk on those kisses, so it's probably just the lighting. 

“Only with me though, okay? I’m the best teacher around.”

“It’s funny that most people don’t realize how full of yourself you are.”

A pout graces Suna’s lips and he pinches the back of Osamu’s neck, but the pain barely registers as he leans back in to kiss his friend. Just once because Suna’s lips are really soft and his pouting is doing more to Osamu than it should. 

“We should get going,” Suna finally says, but he leans down to kiss Osamu again, just as soft as the one before. 

They should get going, Osamu thinks. It’s late out, he’s barely eaten anything, and someone is bound to find them soon. He can only imagine what would happen if a photo were to be snapped, or security footage was clipped and showed some college student who’s related to an upcoming pro-volleyball player kissing an upcoming pro-volleyball player on a different team. 

It’s this thought, plus the fact that he’s in a random alleyway making out with his best friend, that has him pulling away and mumbling, “Rin.”

Suna huffs, but lets him pull away. “Okay, let's go. There’s a new show that just got released that we need to start anyway.”

Osamu’s eyebrows wrinkle up and he looks over at his friend. “Since when was I staying the night?”

Suna looks over at him, already pulling his phone from his pocket. “I guess since right now.”

Osamu lets out a small sigh, but drops the topic and follows Suna back to his apartment. The trip goes as it normally does: the two of them huddle against a pole on the train and share knowing looks every time someone bumps into them, and they pick up snacks from the corner shop outside the train station, and take turns using Suna’s shower when they get to the apartment where Osamu then borrows some pajamas, and then they crawl into Suna’s bed with snacks and waters, both of them wrapped in a blanket with their thighs pressed together. Suna starts the show he wanted to watch, but for as much as Osamu tries to pay attention to the show and the commentary Suna is making, all he can really think about is pressing Suna into an alley wall and getting kissed senseless. Seriously, what did he do to himself?

Osamu glances over at his friend, taking in the unbothered expression as he fixates his eyes on the TV, and reckons with himself that he really should stop kissing Suna to save himself a headache. Suna is just as bad as Atsumu when it comes to giving him troubles and what makes it all worse is the fact Osamu allowed the trouble to take root. 

Against his better judgement, almost two weeks pass before he can hang out with Suna again and once they do meet up, Osamu finds himself laying flat on his back with Suna pinning his hips to the mattress and shoving his tongue down his throat. 

“You know,” he says, breaking their kiss for breath. “I didn’t expect this to be what we do when you said you were coming over.”

Suna gives him a half-hearted shrug, mouthing at Osamu’s neck. “We can do something else.”

Osamu squirms and gasps when Suna bites at the skin under his jaw. “Um, maybe later.”

Suna pulls away, a salacious smirk already on his lips, and he presses Osamu harder into the mattress. “You like that.”

“Like what?”

“Biting.” 

Osamu frowns, shaking his head slightly. “I wasn’t expecting it. Plus, doesn’t something like that have to happen quite a bit until you know if you like it or not?”

“Um… Not really. I’m not sure if it entirely works like that.” 

He hums, looking past Suna and up to his ceiling. He wonders what all he would be into and not into, and then wonders if maybe Suna can help him figure it out. Just to know, so when he does end up doing this all with his future partner, he’ll already know. 

“Earth to Samu.”

Osamu focuses back on Suna and pushes up onto his forearms. “Well, whatever, I don’t really care that much anyway.”

Suna laughs right in his face and Osamu is tempted to shove him off his lap. A large hand presses on his chest, shoving him flat on the mattress as Suna leans back over him with that ever present smirk that is causing tightness in his stomach rather than the familiar annoyance in his chest. 

“Yeah, I totally believe that.” 

Osamu doesn’t get to say much before Suna is nipping at his ear and leaving him squirming on his bed. 

The next weekend is the start of the official season, which means Osamu bounces between his brother’s games and his best friend’s games until finally the last games conclude on Saturday evening with both teams winning their matches. There’s a specific bar a lot of sports teams go to after their games due to the fact it’s pretty hidden from the main cities and has a strict policy against cameras, so when Osamu finally shows up to the address Atsumu sent him, he’s not surprised to find half of the volleyball league in the building. He finds the table of familiar faces in the back and makes his way over, giving his round of congratulations and good-trys before wrapping his twin in a large hug, deciding to praise his ego for the night.

Once Aran places a drink in his hand, he seeks out the other person he really needs to congratulate for the night. Osamu finds him at a table that is mostly his teammates, but some familiar faces as well. He greets the table and waits for Suna to free himself from the booth to wrap him in a hug. They don’t typically do this, especially not in public, but Suna just won his first volleyball match as a professional, so Osamu thinks they can allow the public affection for a night. 

“Remember when I said you were amazing?” Osamu asks, pulling away from the hug. 

“Mm, actually no. You should probably say it again so I can remember,” Suna says cheekily, grinning with the full intent of getting Osamu worked up. 

Osamu shakes his head with a small smile, taking a sip of the drink in his hand. “You’re amazing, Rin. I hope you know that.” 

Suna blinks, quiet for a moment long enough that Osamu wants to say something more to cover up his words. “Say that again,” he says, clearing his throat when his voice comes out weak. “You know, just so I remember for sure.”

Osamu laughs, shoving him back towards the table. “You’re amazing, Rin. Now shut up and celebrate with your team.”

The two of them squeeze into the booth, maneuvering around to try to create the most room. Which really means, Osamu rests an arm behind Suna and Suna props a thigh onto Osamu’s, but it creates enough room for everyone to fit. 

Osamu only recognizes Komori and Washio, and obviously Ginjima when he comes back with more drinks for the table. It’s nice talking with everyone though, and as the night progresses, Osamu relaxes more into the booth and the person next to him. He’s back to his old antics with Ginjima, and he thinks he gets closer with Komori and Washio. Other people stop by the table, offering up their congratulations or simply conversing about the league. At some point, Atsumu squeezes onto his lap to fit at the table, crushing Osamu into the booth as he talks and laughs. The look Suna gives him makes him oddly flustered and he reaches for the nearest drink to distract himself. 

At some point in the night when Osamu’s had enough drinks to leave him feeling floaty, he finds himself and Suna to be the only ones at the table. Suna is leaning against the wall,  legs spread across Osamu’s lap as he eats the cold fries on the table. Osamu looks over at him and golden eyes meet his gaze, a smile turning up soft lips. He lets his head fall against the booth and gives Suna a similar smile, hands circling around the calves in his lap. Suna flicks his foot out before bringing it down in an attempt to drag Osamu closer. He scoots down the bench until they’re closer. 

“I’m really happy tonight,” Suna tells him, voice languid and with that drawl he always gets once he drinks or gets sleepy. “Are ya happy?”

Osamu takes in the content look crossing his friend’s face. “Yeah, I am.”

Suna smiles wider, leaning his head against the booth cushion. “Good.”

Osamu grabs the fries in front of him, eating a few and glancing around the building. When he looks back at the person next to him, Suna’s eyes jump up to his and the air around them changes. 

“Rin?” 

Suna sits up a little, scooting even closer. “Ya know, I saw something earlier about kissing,” he says, glancing down at Osamu’s lips. “Figured we could give it a try. What d’ya think?”

Osamu looks around at the bar with wide eyes. “Right now? Here?” 

“No one’s around,” Suna reasons, curling a hand into the hair at the nape of his neck. “And it's dark over here.”

There’s a moment where he thinks over the words just said to him and runs through every possible outcome that could occur. It’s definitely the alcohol in his system that pushes him to say, “okay, yeah, sure.”

Suna smiles slowly, leaning in towards him and slotting their lips together. He tastes like the soda and liquor he’s been drinking, and the way he’s kissing is much more languid and slow than it normally is. It’s almost like he is trying to take his time and truly savor their kisses tonight, but that’s probably just Osamu projecting. The more they kiss though, the more Osamu doesn’t know what this new thing Suna wanted to try out is. It mostly feels like a more relaxed version of their other practice sessions. 

Eventually Suna pulls away with a slow nip at Osamu’s mouth and a playful grin on his lips. “So, Samu, what would my Rate My Professor score be?”

Osamu can’t help the laugh that tumbles out of him. “I feel obligated to say a five outta five.”

“Good, ya should. Would you take my class again?”

“I’d only want you as my teacher,” he jokes. “No one else can compare.”

Osamu expects a sharp-witted response about how great Suna is and how he should feel lucky to learn from such a professional, but instead Suna’s cheeks flush a deeper pink and he ducks his head away from Osamu, leaning back against the wall. He isn’t sure where this sudden shyness is coming from, but he’s more than interested to watch the sudden shift of demeanor. 

“Good,” Suna says half-heartedly, picking up his watered-down drink. “I’m a one-of-a-kind teacher.”

Osamu doesn’t respond, but he does hum and squeeze the leg on top of him. 

Later in the night when everything starts to wrap up, he heads to the cash register to close out his tab. Ginjima slides up next to him, handing his card over to the bartender. 

“Samu,” he starts once the bartender leaves, pulling his friend’s attention to him. “Are you and Sunarin together?”

Osamu looks at him with furrowed brows, confused on where this question is coming from. “Um, no?”

Ginjima frowns slightly. “Are ya two hooking up?”

“No. Where’d you get that idea from?”

“I saw y’all kissing earlier,” he says, pointing a thumb back to the booth they were occupying. Osamu tries not to let his head swarm with panic and nausea. “So I thought you two must’ve finally gotten together.”

“‘Finally’...?” Osamu repeats, mind swirling with questions of who all saw them and what would those people think and why he kissed Suna in public. “No, Suna and I aren’t together. That was…nothing.”

“Didn’t look like nothing.” 

“Look, Gin, I promise it's nothing,” Osamu tells him, taking his card back from the bartender and shoving it into his wallet with fumbling hands. “Seriously. It’s late, I’ll tell ya about it later.”

“Alright,” Ginjima concedes. “But if you two did finally pull yer heads out yer asses and got together, ya know there’s nothing but love and support from all us, right?” 

Osamu decides not to answer that mostly because he’s confused on where those words are even coming from and because he’s trying to figure out who all could’ve seen them. When he pulls Suna from the booth and gets ahold of Atsumu, he forces himself to sober up enough to get them all back to his apartment in one piece. Eventually they do, and they aren’t too far gone to not clean themselves up before Osamu deposits both of them onto his bed with water and aspirin for the morning. He grabs a throw blanket and pillow to head out to the living room, curling up on the couch and staring up at the ceiling far longer than he possibly should. All that’s running through his brain is Ginjima’s words in a constant loop until he’s certain he can recite them word for word. He isn’t even sure what they mean. 

Except, well, that’s a lie. It’s more like he doesn’t want to know because he doesn’t want to break the familiar reality he’s built around himself. 

Osamu manages to fall asleep right as the sun lights the sky and when he wakes up later that evening, there’s a cold plate of food sitting on the coffee table waiting for him. 

For some reason, a lot of people have a general consensus that Osamu is more mature and regulated than he actually is. It probably has something to do with the fact his twin is one of the loudest and more abrasive people to exist, and is also probably because his best friend is always egging someone on and taking life with an unseriousness most people would kill for. So really, Osamu understands the sentiment, but he’s also only 20 and has the same avoidant issues as everyone else his age. 

Which is why every time Suna reaches out to him, the overwhelming feeling of doom and despair rises in him like a volcano ready to burst. His responses are a lot drier than what they normally are and he takes longer to respond than normal, which is probably what tips Suna off that something is wrong with him because Wednesday Osamu wakes up to Suna cooking in his kitchen. 

“What are you doing here?” He questions, rubbing at his eyes until he starts seeing stars. 

“Coach Shiroma gave us the morning off from training. He got sick or something.” 

Osamu isn’t sure how much he believes that, mostly because the team always has morning training and his next class isn’t until 11. He takes a seat at the island, watching as Suna moves throughout his kitchen like it’s second nature. 

“Want to do something before you head to class?” Suna asks, grabbing plates down from the cabinet. 

“Like what?”

“Hm, there’s a new cafe that opened up nearby. We can stop there before heading to campus.” 

How Suna is more aware of the stuff happening in this area than Osamu is something he’s not willing to think too much about. “Um, sure, alright.” 

Suna sets their plates down and sits next to Osamu at the counter, passing utensils over for them to start eating. He only gets three bites of eggs before Suna is turning towards him and pointing a fork in his face.

Osamu looks down at the prongs with wide eyes. “Um, yes?”

“Something is up with you,” Suna declares, pulling the borderline weapon away. 

He sighs, looking down at his plate of food and debating if he wants to speak about any of the stuff plaguing his mind. Part of him does because this is Suna and he’s never held much back from him, but also the stuff on his mind is about Suna, so… 

“Well, I’ve just been kind of thinking about this a lot, but Ginjima said something at the bar Saturday night that was kind of…” Osamu trails off, searching for the right word to explain what exactly Ginjima said. “It doesn't matter. Anyway, he saw us kissing and asked if we were together. When I told him no, he asked if we were hooking up, and then said something about us finally getting together–whatever that means–and I’ve just been thinking about it a lot I guess. Like, what exactly we are doing and if it means anything.” 

There’s silence from the man next to him and Osamu is ready to just drop the entire topic, but he’s already started talking about it and even if he’s talking about Suna to Suna, he’s always been comfortable sharing his thoughts with the man next to him. Maybe that’s the real tragedy of all this. 

“Like, I don’t know, it’s kind of strange, isn’t it? Almost routinely making out with your friend. I don’t think that’s something a lot of people do, or maybe it is and I’m fucking my psyche up for no reason. Maybe kissing your friends isn’t that crazy of a thing.” Osamu glances over at his friend, but Suna’s face is expressionless as he rants, so Osamu looks away again and tries to wrangle in his thoughts. “It’s not–It’s not a big deal, never mind. You know more than me anyway, so let’s just drop the topic and move on. I’m being stupid. It’s not like there’s anything to this, we’re just friends kissing. People do that all the time, I think.” 

“Samu,” Suna starts once he’s done talking. Osamu looks over at him to find Suna staring at him with furrowed brows and confused eyes. “You don’t think I just make out with my friends for the fun of it, do you?”

He blinks, surprised by the question. Heat flushes his cheeks and he finds his eyes straying away. “Well, not necessarily, but I guess I wouldn’t completely rule the idea out.”

Osamu can hear the frown in Suna’s voice when he says, “it amazes me how you always find a way to insult me.” 

A shallow laugh escapes him and he looks back over at his friend. “Sorry, but I seriously wouldn’t put it past you.”

The frown on Suna’s face deepens and for a moment, Osamu is distracted by the sight. He clears his throat, looking back into golden eyes. 

“I’m not being crazy about this though, am I?”

Suna sighs, taking a few large bites of the food in front of him before pushing the plate away. He turns fully towards Osamu, locking their legs and hooking his ankle under his chair so Osamu can’t scoot away. “You realize everyone thought we were together at multiple points in high school, right?”

“What!?” Maybe Suna lost his mind somewhere between the night of that party and now. “What are you even talking about? No one thought that. Why would they think that?”

Suna gives him a dry look and shakes his head. “We’ll talk about how utterly dense you are later. To answer your original question, you’re not being crazy about this. I guess that’s my fault for not being totally up front about this entire thing.”

“Upfront about what?”

“About wanting to be serious about you,” Suna tells him, grabbing the underside of Osamu’s chair to pull him closer. “High school me was stupid for not making any moves because I loved our friendship more than anything else and I didn’t want to lose it, but… I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t think I would mind risking our friendship if it meant I had the possibility of something more with you.” 

“Rin… Genuinely, what are you talking about?”

Suna lets out a long sigh, grabbing onto the sides of Osamu’s face and looking him dead in the eyes. “Miya Osamu, you absolute dolt, can I take you out on a date? And if you say yes and like it, can I take you out on another one? And then, can I possibly be your boyfriend if you like that second date too?” 

Osamu stares at the other in confusion, trying to make sense of the words being thrown at him. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I like you and want to be your boyfriend?” Suna stares at him with matching confusion. “I know I’m the volleyball player, but did you get a concussion?”

Osamu sighs, pulling back from him and grabbing onto Suna’s hands. “Hold on, just give me a moment.” 

So, all those thoughts about possibilities with Suna and romantic tensions weren’t actually just random thoughts with a clear end of nothing. Osamu looks over at the man across from and thinks back on their time as friends. The more he does, the more he can understand why people apparently thought they were together, and the more he understands that, the more he realizes how clear his own feelings have been. It’s almost embarrassing to think about how much he probably put his feelings on full display. It makes him want to have Atsumu serve a volleyball into the back of his head and give him amnesia so he doesn’t die from sheer mortification. 

“Samu?” 

His cheeks are on fire when he says, “you can take me out, but I don’t think you’ll need that second date to ask to be my boyfriend.”

When he looks at his friend, the smile Suna is giving him makes this all a little bit more bearable. 

“I can’t believe you thought I just made out with anyone,” Suna says later that night once they retreat to Osamu’s room for the night.

“Haven’t I already apologized enough for that?” Osamu asks, pulling out pajamas and walking to the bathroom to get ready for a shower. 

“Mm, sure, but I wouldn’t mind hearing another one.” 

Osamu responds by smacking Suna on the side of the head with a towel. The other grabs onto the fabric, tugging on it until Osamu stumbles into him on the bed, grabbing onto his shoulders to keep them from toppling over. Suna grins up at him, grabbing onto Osamu’s hips to steady him. 

“I need to shower,” he says around a sigh. 

“Can’t it wait? All this talk about kissing is making me want to kiss you.” 

Osamu shoves a hand in Suna’s face to push him away, attempting to get out of the hold the other has on him, but Suna grips onto him tighter and pulls them down on the bed anyway. 

“Aren’t you supposed to wait to kiss someone until after the first date?” Osamu asks, moving his hand enough to meet Suna’s eyes as he raises an eyebrow. He can feel the spread of Suna’s lips into a grin against his hand. 

“Maybe, but that’s so boring and old fashioned.” 

Osamu sighs, pulling his hand from the other’s face and wondering why he’s so taken by this man. Suna grins, letting more of his weight drop on to Osamu and bracketing the sides of his head with his arms. The ends of his fringe tickles Osamu’s forehead, so he brings a hand up to try to push the hair back, only to have it fall back. 

“You need to invest in a headband.”

“Noted.”

Osamu grabs the hair again, bringing it to the back of Suna’s scalp and holding onto the hair there. Suna leans down to connect their lips and Osamu’s nerves zing with sudden pleasure, causing him to lean up towards the other in an attempt to get closer. He’s caught onto the fact that Suna is slow with his ministrations, almost teasingly so, like he likes to toy with Osamu and get him worked up to the point of breaking. 

“Rin,” he complains, although it's too breathy to have any true effect. 

Suna smirks against his lips, teasing at his lips before pulling back enough to say, “I like when you say my name like that.”

A laugh breaks past Osamu’s lips and he opens his eyes to look at the other. “What, Rin? I’ve called you that since we were teens.”

“Yeah, but you get all whiny like this,” Suna tells him, leaning down to mouth at his neck. “I like it.”

Osamu’s certain his entire face is on fire at this point. “Shut up,” he stutters out, eyes closing when Suna bites gently into his skin. 

“I want to ask something,” Suna says, pulling away to look at Osamu. 

“What?”

“Do you understand now why people like to kiss?”

Osamu forces his eyes open, thinking back to the previous time Suna has asked this and what his response was. “Yeah, I think I understand it now. It’s still a weird concept to me though.”

“Do you understand because of the feeling, or because of me?”

“I understand you’re dragging this and I need to shower.”

Suna frowns, pinching Osamu’s waist. “Samu.”

“Because of you, Rin,” he concedes, pulling the other closer. “I understand because of you.”

“Oh, okay.” 

“Yeah, now either do something, or let me shower.”

Suna grins widely, leaning back down to kiss him soundly. They spend far too long just kissing on Osamu’s bed, but he can’t be too mad about it–not when he has two dates lined up, along with a boyfriend. When Osamu thinks about it, he’s almost thankful that he decided to play that stupid game and fate decided to be nice to him by allowing him to share his first kiss with someone he’s so intrinsically tied to. He doesn’t know if this entire experience would be the same with someone else, or if he would’ve even wanted to go through it with someone else. 

Suna is safe, and he’s familiar, and he’s Osamu’s best friend, so there really couldn’t have been a better outcome to all of this. And even if the idea of kissing someone is still strange to Osamu, he wouldn’t mind being strange with Suna.