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After Cuba, Charles had been in a sense of dread that he knew he wouldn't be getting out of anytime soon. He felt his entire life had lost its meaning and the only purpose now was survival, even if it meant looking like a wet dog. He couldn't walk, to be totally honest he was still wrapping his mind around that fact. Then there was Erik.
Erik was…
Erik
Erik
Erik
Erik was….. Dammit Charles! Just bloody say it!
Erik was- no, no he's not gone, he's with Raven and Raven was… also gone.
He's alone.
He's always been alone.
He somehow hears his adolescent voice say that to him in his mind.
he lies on his back with his eyes trained on the white washed ceiling, hoping to maybe see something beyond it.
Hank is somewhere in the building, and he feels an overwhelming feeling in his gut that he wishes Hank doesn't come in here for the rest of the day. Hank is Hank, he helps out, helps him and then there's the occasional pop in from Alex and Sean, though he craves that it was someone else…. he dosent want to be around anyone anymore.
It's been on repeat for weeks or months, Charles dosent know anymore.
He wakes up with the sun shining through his window and he believes it another day to make it good again.
He eats breakfast with an assist of Hank bringing his food up. Today will be good.
He goes around the estate and into the forest path by the mansion, the birds sing and chatter, yeah, today is a good day.
He and Hank have lunch on the patio outside, and look out towards the many miles of land out in the back garden, today is a goood day.
" Are you alright today, Charles?" Hank always asks.
Charles always smiles to himself too early and states in the most genuine tone.
" Yeah, today is a good day."
Then a voice in the back of his head eases him back into the state he finds himself in for hours.
' peace was never an option'
Then it switches, today is not a good day, today is a bad day, in fact the worse day out the rest of the days of your life.
His eyelids lower and his pupils dilate, he can walk again.
Hank does help, more than he could ever ask for.
Not walking was the problem, he just needed to walk again and today was going to be a GOOD day, right?
he stares at the white washed ceiling hoping he could see through it, see the rest of the world, but he can't and he won't.
Hank comes in and goes against his current wishes.
He turns to his side and hopes Hank gets the message, he dosent.
" Hey, professor?" Dammit there is so much hope in his voice that it makes Charles want to vomit in guilt , for what he is about to do.
Something in him spikes like a needle meeting skin.
" Don't fucking call me that!" He turns over and since he can walk again he sits up, he can feel his legs, but can't feel anything else.
Hanks eyes are like the ones of a disobeying puppy, a bad dog.
but Charles dosent notice, Charles dosent care, no Charles is nothing he is only a body, a body that can feel everything yet nothing at all.
" Alright , Charles-"
" J-just go away Hank!" His voice stammers, pathetic
Hank turns and Charles imagines if he had his abilities again he could probably hear Hank calling him a couple of profanities before he closed the door with a loud slam, that he didn't mean to do that loudly.
It really wasn't hanks fault, he really thought today was a good day.
Charles really was a horrible person. No wonder why Erik left, he'd be stupid not to. But he still found himself irritated and angry with him, or himself.
They were both horrible people in a horrible place.
He realised hank was calling him to dinner when he came in earlier , and the slowly growing pit in his stomach grew, but he didn't know if it was his hunger or utter distaste for himself.
It didn't matter, he wasn't hungry, because today was definitely not a good day.
The night was his favourite time he found, because of the shit day he experienced, he realised that quiet times like the night and early morning when everyone was dead silent and asleep, that's when he truly felt like there'd never been a shit life before this bad day.
But a growing pain he never felt before grew in his stomach, but about after an hour of just looking out the window and trying to finally force his tears out. But he found himself that the tears were not the way to solve his itching throat.
After what has felt like years he ran , full stride into the garden into layers of land that surrounded most of the landscape. He couldn't be heard he couldn't be seen so when he felt he was to that standard, looking back and seeing the mansion very far into the distance. He fell to his knees, the ground under him crunching as he did so, and he screamed.
He felt it across his entire body as he let it out, he closed his eyes and called out to whoever was listening in the sky. His throat scratched at him, clawed at him until he finally stopped his Intitial lashing out.
He called out to others as he well like a wish that wasn't to be granted anytime soon.
He panted then let out again " E-Erik! " he let out the tears that were burning his eyes and pounding his brain. " Come back! I'm not done with you." He pleaded.
" Y-you abandoned me, you took her and you abandoned me."
He found himself wailing.
" You broke my heart Erik, all it is you've broken it and I- I can't." He gulped down the bike rising in his throat " I can't be me anymore, I am not me anymore."
He furrowed his brow and whispered to himself
" Change it back, Erik ."
He let his head fall to his chest and he made his body limp and he was ingulfed by the tall needle grass.
His eyes grew heavy and he realised how tired he was, and even more so when a body he thought he was hallucinating came clearer as it came closer to him.
He looked up into diamond blue eyes.
" You came?"
" You clearly called. "
Erik didn't have the helmet resting on his head anymore. It was nowhere to be seen actually, bold Charles thought.
Charles then became angry, he learned that second that anger may fuel you, but rage made you sloppy.
He stood up faster then Erik anticipated, and took a shot right to his jaw, making Erik and even himself stumble backwards.
Before Erik could recover Charles was back in it again, preparing to make magnetos entire face go purple.
But Erik was fast, just as Charles tried to sloppily punch him again, now aiming right for a knockout of teeth. Erik grabbed his wrists just as Charles tried to tackle him and only made both of them fall to the ground with a thud and a pound of the back of Erik's head. But that didn't stop Erik's hold on Charles' wrists.
" Stop, Charles." Erik said sternly.
Charles didn't refrain and tried to move against his grip, but as much as he was convinced otherwise, he wasn't as strong as Erik. Which In all truth he hated.
" Stop." Erik shook Charles' wrists in hope of stopping him. Or somehow calming him, a stupid thought that was.
With his teeth clenched Charles let out a pleading " Why?!"
" Why what?"
" You know what I mean asshole."
he struggled against Erik’s grip.
" I left because it's what needed to be done."
" You needed to be a class A terrorist, yeah makes sense."
" We are the better men Charles."
" Fuck. You." He pulled away from Erik's grip and stood up, and he let him.
But what he wasn't going to let him do is just walk away.
Charles originally was planning to do just that, and maybe who knows drop by the hardest alcohol he could find and wash down the memory that Erik was ever here and just pass it off as a hallucination.
The thing is hallucinations don't grab your hand like he did.
A side of Charles' head turned while his body remained intact and he glanced at the man slowly interlocking their fingers together.
" Stop pretending like we're strangers."
" I'm not, I'm pretending that you're the dickhead that paralysed me." He pulled away and set on his track again only to be met with the blue eyes of the boy that shot him.
Erik used his powers to slowly drag Charles back by the belt of his jeans to him.
What Charles didn't realise a second ago when they were on the grass brawling is that how close they really were. He could hear Erik's sharp intakes of breath while trying to hold Charles off of him. Now he definitely noticed.
Erik's breaths were now slow and steady as his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat.
His hand wrapped around his waist and he gripped the small of Charles back in security.
Charles found himself not even protesting against it. What was wrong with him? There was also pouring questions such as why was he so hot? Why are we so close? So many questions so little time before Erik spoke again, softly as if though not to scare him and the height difference became more noticeable as Charles felt his breath on his nose.
" Let me show you."
It took Charles a minute after looking into his dashing eyes that he was waiting for permission from him.
Charles nodded slightly, lost in the others eyes.
He almost shrieked when he felt himself being lifted off and into the air, where time seemed to slow. He could almost hear the metal on himself and Erik creaking against the weight.
He held closer to Erik and he concentrated on looking up rather than down. Erik was warm despite his experience of being cold.
Now it seemed they had changed roles.
After a few minutes of flying they found their finishing point and just floated in the clouds.
Charles found the strength to look around, it was beautiful, the landscape and how the clouds framed the hills in the distance, it was almost like a painting that stretched farther than you could actually imagine.
He wondered if Erik loved the view as he did and looked to him for an idea of what he thought.
But all Erik saw was him.
" Beautiful isn't it?" Charles said feeling his face heat.
" Yeah, it really is." He didn't even look around them.
" You aren't even looking."
" Yes I am."
" No you're not."
" I've already found beauty." Erik smiled like a love stricken child, that it was hard not to kiss him right there and then,
Charles might've found it hard, but without having to even do anything, Erik found it easy.
Erik might've been rough and a cold hearted person, but his lips had an entire personality of their own, and they loved Charles.
And if Erik felt completely honest today, even though it was a bad day, he loved Charles too. He just didn't have the guts to say it.
Then Charles once they pulled away for a moment made the mistake of looking down.
Erik laughed under his breath as Charles gripped at his back and took the fabric in a bundle of his hands, he almost reminded him a scared cat, looked like one too.
" Why are we so high?!" He choked out, clearly the shock was getting to his lungs.
Then Erik soothingly rubbed his hand up and down Charles back, the motion evening his breaths from before.
They started moving in the air, the metal around them squealing slightly. But they didn't start moving down, they moved around to the flow of invisible music that wasn't so invisible anymore when Erik started humming.
When Charles got out of the safety cocoon he made for himself he looked at Erik whose only sole purpose of his eyes were Charles'.
Then Charles was idiotic once again and tried to look down, only for the other to bring his chin back up to face him once again.
" I'm here Charles, I'm not going anywhere." He came closer so that their noses were almost touching " Never again."
And for the first time in what felt like years.
Today was a good day.