Chapter Text
Marauders: General Chat
8:35PM
moony has joined the chat. Say hi!
Prongsie: wormy you didn’t
Verm: I didn’t!
paddie: didn t what?
paddie: who tf is moony
Verm: Hi, Moony! Welcome to our chat!
paddie: what is happening
Verm: Nothing is happening.
paddie: hi moony???
Prongsie: *screenshot*
Prongsie: WE TOLD YOU NOt TO
Verm: That isn’t my tumblr! That’s not my post!
Prongsie: YOU”RE A LAIR THT IS YOUR ACCT ITS THE SAME ACCT YOUVE HAD SINCE YOU WERE NINE AND LIED ABOUT BEING THIRDTEEN
paddie: thirdteen
Verm: I didn’t think anyone would actually see it!
Verm: Two notes is nothing!
paddie: it’s more than u usually get xD
Prongsie: NOW SONE STRANGER IS IN MY CHAT AND I AHVE TO CREATE A WHOLE NEW SERVER
Prongsie: YOU KNOW I DONT KNOW HOW TO CREATE SERVERS
LilE: Perfect excuse to call Reg!
paddie: don’t call ref
paddie: ref
paddie: reg tf
Dreg: Don’t call Reg.
Moony is typing. . .
Prongise: oh my goD its alive
Verm: Don’t call it “it,” that’s one of my followers.
paddie: *that’s my one follower
Moony: Is this the Stardew Valley server?
Prongsie is typing. . .
Verm is typing. . .
paddie is typing. . .
Prongsie: Yes.
Verm: Hello, my loyal tumblr follower! Yes, this is the correct server! I assume you came from the aforementioned tumblr post?
Moony: The post about playing in a Stardew tournament?
paddie: oh nice wormy!!!! we needed a fourth since @LilE is abandoning us
Prongsie: NO NOT NICE WORMY
LilE: I don’t want to go to this wedding any more than you want me to go to this wedding.
Verm: If we included Mary like I suggested, this all could have been avoided.
Prongsie: MARY DOESNT LIKE US
Macca, replying to @Verm: Siri said I can’t decorate the farm, so what’s the point
paddie, replying to @Macca: its a timed tournament hottie we need your quick reflexes more than ur impeccable taste
Prongsie: Is it too late to include Reg
Verm: Reg doesn’t like us.
paddie: reg doesn’t like you he loves me
Dreg reacted “this” to “Reg doesn’t like us.”
Verm: Yes this is the correct server @Moony . We are excited you’re here!
Moony: I’m not sure if that’s true
paddie: prongs you’ve frightened the new guy
LilE: New guy should get used to that
Prongsie: TheRE IS NO NEW GUY
paddie: youre being exclusionary prongs don’t be rude say hi he might be nice
Parongsie: What if he’s some freaky stalker? What if he only joined to learn my address? What if he wants to hack my account?
Marldarling: Nobody knows/cares about Worms tumblr Prongs
Verm: Hey! Yes they do!
Macca: @prongs Its amazing you can stay upright with that fat head of yours
Moony: I just wanted to play Stardew.
paddie: and we want you to play stardew!!!!!
Prongsie: Do you even play Stardew @Moony?
Verm: Prongs, be nice.
Prongsie: What if he’s a literal child Verm, you lied about your age on tumblr too
paddie: u lied about your age on facebook and it still says ur 45 prongs
Moony: *screenshot*
Verm: 675 hours logged on Stardew! My 300 hours looks sad all of a sudden.
Prongsie: He could have gotten that from Google!
Moony: I have it on Switch too, but I don’t know how to see my logged time there.
paddie: you don’t have to justify urself to prongs he’s just a baby
Macca: He can’t be worse than Siri…
paddie: if you can’t be best you might as well be worst :)
Verm: Is it too late to replace Pads too?
Moony: Also I’m 22, but I’m not sending proof of that.
LilE: We’re all 22 too! Or just about
paddie: give him access to the married chat
Moony: The what?
Macca: The chat where we’re forced to watch prongs and pads drool over each other
Prongsie: I’ve said it before, everyone’s allowed to flirt!
Prongsie: It’s not my fault if none of you take me up on it
LilE: Moony, would you be interested in a quick voice call? Just to ease Prongs’s mind
Moony: Um, yeah, that sounds fine.
LilE opened up VC!
Prongsie joined VC!
Verm joined VC!
paddie: wait guys u know i’m not home that’s not fair
LilE: Cry about it.
Moony joined VC!
“Hi, Moony!” A bright, cheerful, feminine voice called the moment Remus’s icon appeared in the discord chat.
“Hi.” Remus said, immediately grimacing at himself over how shy his voice sounded. Luckily, just as Prongs began to point out his mistake, Remus realized he was still muted.
“See!” Prongs’s voice blared through Remus’s headphones, causing him to wince over the obscene volume. “He’s not talking because he’s some old codger!”
“Sorry, I was muted, sorry!” Remus explains as he rushes to adjust Prong’s volume.
“Sounds normal to me.” Lil assesses.
“Not at all like some freaky stalker, Prongs.” Vern agrees simply. Remus can all but hear the smile in his voice. He has a feeling Verm is holding off on saying “I told you so!”
“Not old, and not a stalker. Sorry to disappoint.” Remus agrees.
“If your accent wasn’t so pronounced, I’d assume you were Canadian; stop saying sorry, mate.” Verm comments, a lilt of laughter in his tone.
“Yeah, Prongs is the one that should be apologizing!” Lily agrees humorously.
“It’s called internet safety!” Prongs protests. There’s a soft thump that sounds from his end, a sound Remus suspects came from Prongs’s hands hitting his desk. Verm and Lil both laugh, and Remus can’t help but grin at himself as Prongs says, “Clearly I’m the only one that cares whether we’re going to be murdered!”
“Alright, Mary’s just finished cooking, so I’m off.” Verm says, cutting off whatever (likely sassy) retort Lil was beginning to say.
“Tell my wife I love her!” Lil calls instead, before following in Peter’s stride and exiting the group as well.
“I am glad you’re not, you know, some freak.” Prongs says before laughing, awkward but delighted.
“Um, thanks? Me too, I guess.” Remus says around his own stifled chuckle.
After ending the call, Remus leans back in his desk chair and closes his eyes, just for a moment. He wonders, briefly, whether it’s too late to back out. He does feel like some new guy, some stranger, clearly intruding on some long-standing group of friends.
A notification sounds through his earbuds, telling him someone has mentioned him in the chat. The allure, the intrigue, the hope that maybe he could find a friend here too, is enough to encourage Remus to open his eyes and lean back in.
Prongsie: @moony certified non creep!
paddie: i always believed in u moony welcome to the chat we have verms
Moony: “verms?”
LilE: “Worms” in whatever bad accent Wormy feels inclined to use
paddie: ok now we know he’s not a creep we can play with him right
Marlsdarling: Don’t scare him away again Siri
paddie: I MEANT VIDEO GAME PLAY
Macca: Verm did say the new guy has a sexy voice
LilE: Aren’t you eating dinner
paddie: what did you make i’m omw
Macca: empanadas again
Prongsie: I”M OMW FIRST
paddie: also how does everyone get to know about the new guy’s sexy voice before me i don’t htink that’s fair
Moony: It’s not.
Verm: it is
Prongsie: Accents are hot dear Moony, we don’t make the rules
paddie: what accent
Prongsie: Moony when are you free for a practice run?
LilE: Do you have a twitch acct Moony?
paddie: what accent
Prongsie: Oh yeah, send me your twitch and I’ll add you as a friend!
LilE: Also, what’s your timezone? Might make scheduling easier.
Moony: GMT, but I’m free basically whenever
Moony: I’ll make a twitch now.
Prongsie: Oh neat! Timezone buddies!
paddie: what accent @moony
Moony: Welsh.
Prongsie: See? Sexy
Marlsdarling: Save it for the married chat @prongs
Moony: My twitch is now daymoonagedream
paddie: [heart eyes emoji]
paddie: it would be
Prongsie: You really need to work on your profile, mate
Moony: It’s two minutes old! Give me a second!
Remus had some suspicion, even before Prongs’s friend request came in, that these lads were somewhat well-known. He didn’t realize the extent of their fame, however, until he noticed Prongs had nearly two million subscribers. Feeling a bit breathless, and suddenly overwhelmed, Remus quickly begins scouring through Prongs’s archived livestreams.
Prongs’s face is always in the bottom right corner of the screen. He is always grinning, something wide and toothy and almost comical. He has gold-wire glasses that seem a bit too round, and a bit too big for his thin face, but somehow worked to make his nose seem a bit smaller than it might appear otherwise. He is attractive, that much is obvious, but within minutes, Remus quickly realizes that was the least impressive thing about him.
For one thing, Prongs is hilarious. He’s certainly clever, what with how quickly he can make a joke out of a hateful comment, or how easily he makes his friends laugh. He’s also absurdly reactive to whatever happens in his game: a sharp squeak of shock, or a delighted outburst of giggling, or a tear trailing down his cheek when he loses a horse or crushes a flower.
The real appeal, however, is how well he plays with his friends, of which Remus quickly realizes there are many. For the most part, their names are the same as their discord users, and Remus is able to pick out who belongs to what profile.
It takes very little time to recognize “Wormtail” as Verm, mostly because the voice was so fresh in his mind. In one Fortnite stream, Verm’s face appears right beside Prongs, and their delighted laughter prevails over any conversation they attempt to have. Any time Wormtail talks, he puts on some awful accent: one Remus can’t decide is closer to Russian or German or Australian. The effect is comical, and the boys’ laughter is infectious, and by the time Remus finally convinces himself to leave that stream in pursuit of his research, his cheeks hurt from grinning.
The next stream he discovers starts in the very middle of a conversation, or perhaps more of a screaming match, based on how quickly Remus reaches out to turn the volume down. While there aren’t any faces on the screen this time, Remus is able to pick out Prongs’s exuberant cadence and Wormtail’s ridiculous accent immediately. There are two (or three?) other voices overlapping theirs, though: all screaming about how “serious” some situation seems. After a near two full minutes of the cacophony, a girl’s voice calls to exile Padfoot, and Remus is instantly transfixed.
He starts off whinging, this Padfoot, which would usually set Remus’s nerves on fire: he’s never felt affection for whiners. But that voice, that lyrical voice, is nothing short of music, even when dredged in drawn-out vowels and high-pitched complaints.
“Marls!” Padfoot calls through time, his protestations sincere. “I can’t subscribe to your vegan agenda! I’m a caveman! You can’t expect me to survive off beets and carrots!”
Suddenly, Remus finds he is glad for his lack of social life. For hours, he scours through every video on Prongs’s profile, clicking anything that so much as suggested Padfoot would be included. Through his research on Padfoot, he learned a lot of incidental information.
Remus learns MarlsDarling is apparently engaged to some non-streamer girlfriend, except for a select week in June when her partner, Cas, joins her for donate-a-thons, where they raise money for different LGBTQ+ organizations. Upon discovering this information, Remus momentarily releases himself from cyber-stalking Padfoot, only long enough to subscribe to Marlene’s profile and send off a quick friend request.
Next, Remus learns about LilE, who apparently hated Prongs through their entire childhood. The information shocks him, especially because they offer very little information about the apparent feud. The only reason they’re friends now, at least from what Lily claims, is because of sweet Wormy, who suggested they settle their differences in a 1v1 Halo Tournament.
The rules were simple: whoever won the greater of five rounds got their choice of a prize. Prongs picked full forgiveness, and another more friendly stream between the pair later down the line. Lily, however, suggested she gets to throw a Prongs is Cancelled Party, where she and all of Prongs’s friends would advocate to decrease his subscriber count for an entire afternoon. Remus couldn’t believe Prongs agreed to such high stakes.
Still, despite the fact that Lily won, she seemed to have actually enjoyed herself. By the end of the first round, where Lily absolutely demolished Prongs, (James, Remus incidentally discovered) Lily seemed much less intense about her hate towards the lad, and much more receptive to his sincere apology (for what, Remus still doesn’t know). Since then, Lily appears to have forgiven James, and their friendship is as strong as ever.
Lily is the reason Mary and Marlene ended up joining their group. The trio play a lot of cozy games together, and even when they’re not playing the same game, are always more than willing to promote the other’s channels. After one really aggressive hate comment about Mary’s makeup, for example, Lily and Marlene both verbally disparaged the account, then got half their combined chats to report and block the commenter. Remus was impressed, and intensely charmed, by their devotion to one another.
Above all, however, Remus was obsessed with the lore between Padfoot and Prongs. They grew up together, childhood best friends, and started amateur streaming as a way to keep in touch after moving to different schools. James invited Peter, a friend from one of his classes, into their fold about six months in, and that seemed to be the magic combination: the Marauders were a sensation.
And then, after hours of scrolling and mental math and sending off friend requests, Remus finally found it: a MarioKart live stream with three boys grouped on a couch.
There was James, with his now-familiar glasses and messy curls and sunshine smile. There was Peter, with his blonde hair and high cheekbones, his weird accent and his weirder sense of humor. There was another boy on James’s other side, the one Remus assumed to be Reg, mostly based on his apathetic expression and the way James seemed to find any excuse to lean into his side. (Remus has also learned about the apparent light James holds for Reg: he isn’t sure if it’s a funny, fan-created ship, or something more).
And there was Padfoot. Remus is ashamed to admit that he had an urge to fling his phone across the room.
Padfoot is, quite simply, the most gorgeous person Remus has ever seen in his life. He has inky black hair that falls in delicate, cascading rivulets over his shoulders and down his back. Halfway through the video, he collects the maine in his hands and shoves it into a messy bun atop his head, loose curls springing free around his forehead and behind his ears and at the nape of his neck. Remus has to wipe an errant drop of drool from his chin.
His skin is like porcelain, and Remus wonders if it would feel cool to the touch. His nose looks as though it was carved from marble: angled and thin, slightly upturned. On anyone else, Remus thinks it would give off the effect of a perpetual sneer, something more akin to his brother’s perpetually superior expression, but coupled with Padfoot’s blinding, alluring smile, it gives off the effect of a siren’s song.
It isn’t until halfway through the video, when the sun outside the window catches Padfoot’s face in the exact right lighting, that Remus realizes his eyes are absolutely unreal. They’re like cloudless skies: bright and crystal clear, almost ghostly in how pale they appear. They crinkle around the edges when his lip so much as quirks upward, and the lines stay even when his face is relaxed: an indication of his continual state of joy. With friends like Prongs and Wormtail, Remus is sure that’s not a hard feat to accomplish.
His voice is just as lovely, just as lyrical, as it had sounded in every video prior, but there’s some kind of magic to watching it erupt from Padfoot’s thin lips. It’s like Remus is being hypnotized, like he’s in a trance, completely unable to look away or at anyone or anything else on the screen.
When the video finishes, Remus quickly scrubs back through to the beginning, content to rewatch Padfoot laugh and groan and shove Wormtail and press mocking kisses to Prongs’s cheek.
Remus wasn’t sure, what with the off-putting reception he received from the group, whether he’d really give this Stardew tournament a shot. He likes the game, sure, and he’s been in the market for friends since. . . well, since forever, really. That tumblr post seemed sincere enough: Do YOU like Stardew? Are YOU interested in gaming with funny blokes? Would YOU like to split a hundred pounds four ways? Join our discord server!
He ignored the squirming anxiety as he downloaded discord again. He ignored the spike in fear as he reset a password he created years ago. He ignored how insane the whole thing felt. He reminded himself he could leave if it felt like a scam. He assured himself it was all fine: that post only had two notes, after all.
But here, now, looking at this group of sincere, funny, adoring friends, Remus thinks it might have been the best decision he’s ever made. Here, curled up in his bed, listening to the silent sounds of his empty flat, Remus thinks he might have just changed his life for the better.