Chapter Text
Siffrin dragged along at the back of their group of five, listening to them all chatter away. They um… they weren't sure about what to be honest. Their mind was in too much of a haze to listen properly. But just the sound of their voices was nice, and just walking with them casually, in the fresh air, was a constant reminder that they were out of the loops.
It's funny though, Odile is usually the slow one, and now the fastest was dragging behind. His own body felt a bit heavy, not too heavy that he couldn't walk, but still. Maybe that's just the feeling of drowsiness dragging them down.
The background noise of chatter stopped, leaving the sleepy traveler confused for a second, before he-
-slipped on the banana peel, and fell onto-
-no, that’s not right. He fell to the side, and into the cold shallow water of a river below him, a startled yell escaping them as they fell. That’s… one way to finally wake up. Wait, what did they slip on if it wasn’t that blinding banana peel then?
Siffrin quickly pushed himself up, gasping for air, before turning around to see stepping stones that they were trying to cross. Ah, that’s what he slipped on. The river itself wasn't too deep, only up to their chest when they sat up.
They barely registered being pulled up to their feet as they stared at the stones, an arm under theirs to support them. They… could have died. For real. Augh, they wanted to slap themself! Pay better attention, Siffrin! It’s not like you can just come back anymore!
It took them a moment to notice their breathing quickening as they internally panicked about their close call. They're fine! They were fine! Stop freaking out Siffrin you’re-
“Siffrin!” Isabeau suddenly shouted, cutting through his panic. “Are you okay?”
He blinked. At this point they were out of the water. Mirabelle ran up to them to check for injuries. He wasn't hurt, but he was shaking, and cold from their soaked clothes. The weather itself getting a little colder didn’t help, but that part was less of a problem with their cloak. He looked up at the others, Odile’s expression crossed between bewildered and concerned, and Bonnie's looking confused.
Oh, right, he was asked a question. He nodded.
“Sif, you're shaking… are you sure?” Isabeau gave him a look of concern.
“How’d you let that happen?” Bonnie followed Mirabelle, approaching them. “Are you cold?” They asked when they noticed him shaking.
Deliberately, he shook the water from his hair and cloak, splashing it onto everyone except Odile, who stayed where she was and out of range. Mirabelle, Isabeau and Bonnie yelped in surprise, Mirabelle and Bonnie shielding their faces from the water with raised hands.
“See, I'm fine!” Siffrin said in a playful tone and hoped they'd buy it.
“Siffrin!” Mirabelle giggled out.
“Nooo don’t make me wet too!” Bonnie yelled. Ha! Too late!
Odile snorted out a laugh from their antics.
Isabeau, who was still holding on to them and got a face full of water, was the only one to notice they were still shivering aside from Odile. “Alright buddy, but you’re still shaking.” He noted.
“Are you sure you’re not hurt?” Mirabelle asked, hands ready just in case they were. He shook his head, the housemaiden examining him before accepting his answer. “Okay.”
Odile's laughter subsided and she was now examining them from afar. He’s not sure what for.
“... kind of cold though.” Siffrin finally admitted.
“AHA! Knew it!” Bonnie yelled out, a finger pointed at Siffrin.
“Really? I thought the cloak would-” Isabeau started.
“Well, he is soaked now.” Odile pointed out, then looked at the sky. “I suppose it is getting late. We could stop here.”
Is it? Siffrin looked up, seeing the sky was a darker shade now than it was a while ago. Almost night.
… how long were they zoning out for anyway? Has he seriously not noticed?
“And Siffrin needs a change of clothes anyway. Expressions knows if they don't, they might get sick again.” Odile added.
Oh. Can't have that, yeah. Especially since the next town is a little ways off. He'd like to not get sick again for a while.
With that in mind, the group decided to set up camp a little further away from the river. Although, Siffrin received a look from everyone. Guess they'll be asking about their little slip up later. He's not really looking forward to that.
—
Siffrin hammered down the last stake needed to set up the tents, before they glanced up, watching as Bonnie cooked with Odile’s help. He now had a dry set of clothes on, although he did not have his cloak, as the others convinced him to let it hang out to dry on the branch of a small tree nearby.
“All done here!” They called out to the others. Mirabelle, who was helping him set up the tents, stood up, happy for a job well done.
“Great.” Odile replied, giving the two a nod before going back to helping Bonnie.
Mirabelle walked over to Siffrin, smiling. “Now um… Siffrin, do you think I could comb your hair?”
“Huh?” Siffrin murmured, a confused look on his face. But they did like getting their hair brushed before. Is it really that bad though?
“Well, your fall into the river did make it a bit messier than usual…” She reasoned bashfully.
Siffrin raised a hand and felt around their hair a little. They think it's fine but… he's not exactly the best judge when it comes to his own hair. “I guess so. Sure, you can comb it then.” They nodded.
Mirabelle beamed, before rushing over to the log Isabeau was sitting on. Siffrin followed.
He sat on the log next to Isabeau, the fighter smiling almost as much as Mirabelle as he did so. He slowly reached out, as if silently asking if it was okay to touch them before Siffrin nodded. Isabeau pulled him into a hug, which Siffrin did flinch in reaction to like they always do (stars they need to stop doing that, but they're not used to it yet), but eventually he leaned into it.
Mirabelle took out a comb from her dress pocket, and Isabeau released Siffrin from the hug. She moved to stand behind him, then began running the comb through their hair.
Huh, maybe it was a little more messy than they thought. He felt a few yanks of his hair, Mirabelle apologizing every time and Isabeau wincing from the pained whines Siffrin let out. When was the last time they let her do this? Was it before leaving Dormont, during the loops? He can't quite remember.
Oh well. After getting a few knots out, the combing went somewhat smoothly. Slowly, Siffrin's tension began melting away. He gave a content sigh as he relaxed, closing their eye. The warmth of the fire made them feel drowsy.
They felt themself begin to fall asleep.
… then he snapped awake, sitting up straight. NO! No sleeping! They couldn't sleep! They had to stay awake or-
Beside him, he could hear Isabeau chuckle. “Tired, huh Sif?”
Mirabelle had stopped combing from Siffrin's sudden movement, although she resumed once he settled down. They turned their head to Isabeau and nodded.
Mirabelle gave a soft giggle. “Don’t worry Siffrin, you can go to sleep soon.”
No. No, they don’t think they will. He’s managed to hide the fact that he hasn’t been sleeping as often pretty well, he thinks, making sure Isabeau goes to sleep first when they share tents. The only real problem is Odile. She seems to be the easiest to wake up, annoyingly, but she’s never caught him awake, thanks to his stealth.
Speaking of Odile, he caught her occasionally glancing up to look at him. They felt a little nervous, noticing this.
He also noticed Isabeau giving Mirabelle a look, apprehensiveness in his expression. But… what was that about…?
Oh. They just figured it out.
“So um… Siffrin…” Mirabelle began. “How um… did you end up falling in the river?”
Oh stars, here we go. He shot Mirabelle a betrayed look, tilting their head up at her. This was definitely a set up, doing their hair to make sure they couldn't just simply run from this conversation. How did he, the trap master, not see this coming?
Well, it's not like he was good at spotting the last one.
Mirabelle flinched. “A-ah, please don't look at me like that… this wasn't a trap, I swear! I just… thought it was a good time to ask.”
They resisted the urge to groan at their own stupidity. “I just slipped.” They answered simply. Not a lie, but they don’t need to explain why they slipped. “Easy mistake.”
“Yeah, but… Sif, we tried calling out to you before you slipped, and you didn’t seem to hear us.” Isabeau pointed out. “It just seems a little unlike you is all. Actually… you’ve been pretty out of it all day.”
“Not just today, yesterday too!” Bonnie shouted. “You mixed up the spices, Frin!”
Ah right. Bonnie roped him into helping them cook yesterday. How they managed to let that happen is beyond him.
“They just looked so much alike to me.” Siffrin shrugged.
“They were labeled!” Bonnie added, peeking past their cooking supplies to give Siffrin one of the most perplexed looks they think they’ve ever seen the kid give. “How did you miss that?!”
… okay so they forgot about that detail. And now made a complete fool of themself. They blinked, and tried to hide in a cloak that wasn’t there out of embarrassment.
“Good question, Boniface.” Odile agreed with a teasing grin, before moving on from Siffrin’s cooking mistake. “And another unusual case, you were the one at the back this time. I’m usually the one lagging behind all of you.” She gave a small laugh at the absurdity of the idea, her being faster than Siffrin of all people. Siffrin would laugh too, if they weren’t the one being interrogated.
“And just now, you were nodding off.” Mirabelle added. “... while I was combing your hair.”
“... felt nice.” He simply answered again with a soft smile. That wasn’t a lie either. “Really nice, actually. It um… doesn’t happen often.”
“Do you not do your own hair often? I thought most adults do that.” Bonnie asked.
Siffrin opened their mouth, thinking about saying that they were stuck in the time loops for who knows how long, but… no, looping would have reset that, right? Even then, he couldn’t remember the last time they did it on their own. In the end, he spent too long thinking about it, responding with silence.
“Don't worry Siffrin, I could do it more often if you'd like!” Mirabelle offered, smiling at them gently.
They really would, even if they don't care about how messy it usually is. They smiled at her in response.
“Maybe it won't be as much of a mess if you do.” Odile teased.
As great as a diversion that was, Odile's expression returning to a frown signaled she was getting back on topic. Darn. “But we're getting off track. What we need to ask is…” She looked directly at Siffrin, concerned. “Siffrin, have… you been sleeping well lately? I… know you still have problems with sleep-crafting.”
Siffrin flinched at the mention of sleep-crafting. Yes, he knew that problem wouldn’t just go away after he recovered from his fever. Yes, he remembers what Odile said about what causes it. Yes, he knows NOT sleeping won’t help.
… but he was also afraid of hurting someone, destroying something, just because of his nightmares. They knew how powerful they were now, what if they severely hurt one of their family members, or worse, KILL them? They just can’t take that chance.
So what better way to prevent that then by just not sleeping? So what if it left them dead tired? It's not like they haven’t dealt with the lack of sleep before. They could take it. Anything to keep them safe from something as dangerous as them.
“I’ve been sleeping just fine.” Siffrin answered, trying to sound like he wasn’t nervous, like he didn’t just flinch from the mention of sleep-crafting a second ago.
No one is convinced. Instead of trying to drag an honest answer out of them, the group turned to Isabeau.
“Uh… well I'm always asleep first out of the two of us, so… I haven't noticed anything wrong, I think.” Isabeau said.
Good. That meant their strategy worked.
…probably not for much longer though, they feared.
“Well, make sure to help him out if something is wrong, then.” Odile said seriously.
“Oh for sure!” Isabeau nodded, a determined smile.
Siffrin again wanted to hide their face in their cloak. They just pointlessly try to make themself look smaller instead, when they remembered it wasn’t there.
“Siffrin, do you want me to finish combing your hair or…?” Mirabelle asked. Right, they were doing that earlier, not interrogating the sleep deprived rogue!
They weren’t sure they were in the mood anymore, but if it delayed having to go to bed for a little longer… they nodded.
Mirabelle got back to combing their hair, and Siffrin made sure that this, combined with the warm flames, didn't make them nearly fall asleep this time. All the while, Isabeau continued giving them a concerned look.
—
Well, it was only a matter of time until they had to face the inevitable that was bedtime. Normally, whenever they could manage to not fall asleep, he'd play a waiting game, see to it that Isabeau fell asleep first, and then sneak out of the tent for a bit to go do something else, or just sit around, awake, doing nothing.
Not this time though! Seems Isabeau was being true to his word, staying awake to make sure Siffrin fell asleep first. They're… not sure a waiting game would be possible this time, especially with how tired they were feeling right now.
Isabeau didn't hold him while he was trying not to fall asleep though. He wouldn't, not without his permission. Even if they so desperately wanted him to do so right now, he really shouldn't. For his sake.
Instead, they just laid in their own sleeping bag, turned away from Isabeau and waited for sounds of snoring that were unlikely to happen.
Not able to take the silence, Isabeau eventually spoke up. “You… seem so tense, Sif…” He pointed out worriedly.
Of course he was. He was worrying about potential harm and nightmares. Neither of which he wanted. He'd be glad if he just dreamed of nothing again.
“I… I know, this sleep-crafting thing is scary for you, but…”
Siffrin decided to turn around to face him. The man reached out to them, a hand hovering but not touching. He returned it to his side a second after they turned around.
“But you have me here to help! And the others too! So don't worry about it if you do something in your sleep!”
Siffrin pulled one of their trembling hands close to themself. They looked away from Isabeau, and said in a quiet voice, “But I don't want to hurt you.”
“And you won't! You haven't hurt anyone so far, and if you did attack, I think I could take it!” Isabeau proudly put a hand to his chest. “I was a defender, I have to be able to take a hit after all!”
They didn't want him to have to ‘take it’ at all! And they almost hurt Odile back at the clocktower. He… he didn't want to imagine hurting Isabeau, he didn't, but the possibility of it frightens him. And it's not like he could just loop back to fix it if he did. Maybe that's what scared them most. They can't fix it if they do something terrible.
They buried their head in their arms, still turned towards Isabeau but not looking at him.
“Ugh, shut up, stupid brain, just shut up!” They thought to themself as they tightly shut their eye, still thinking of everything there is to worry about involving this.
Everything seemed to stop when he felt Isabeau’s hand finally touch him on the head. He froze, his eye now wide open in shock.
“S-sorry Sif, sorry I… just thought you needed it right now.” Isabeau apologized.
It was fine once they got past the initial contact. It was grounding. They relaxed, leaning into it a little.
Isabeau laughed awkwardly. “Probably not the best thing I could have said about this, is it? But… could you trust me when I say it’s going to be okay?”
Trusting Isabeau wasn’t the problem here. He couldn't trust his own body and mind right now. But it's not like he had any say in the matter at this point. He felt his eyelids grow heavy just seconds after he relaxed.
“Okay, fine…” Siffrin sleepily answered.
“Want a hug?” Isabeau asked, an arm open in offering.
Siffrin shook their head, even if they really did want one. They already weren’t going to be able to stay awake for much longer, might as well make sure there's less of a chance to hurt his friend. He was pretty sure a hug might put him to sleep right there. … that was probably the plan, was it? He’d laugh at how clever that was if he had the energy to do so.
“Aw, alright.” Isabeau sighed. Siffrin ignored the ache in his heart from hearing Isabeau's disappointment.
They turned back around, and hoped to the universe that they dreamt of nothing.