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Siffrin sat up straight, the book on Craft spells beside him, leaning against a rock. They felt way better than they had in days, and all it took was almost a full day of sleep! …after being persuaded by the others to sleep for more than just a few hours, anyway.
The family decided to rest another day to let Siffrin fully concentrate on learning the barrier spell. He insisted it was fine, he'll just do it when they stopped for breaks but they (everyone but Bonnie at least) wouldn't budge. Bonnie took his word for it, but Odile thought Siffrin should be allowed all the time they needed, and it was easy to persuade the kid, impatient as they were.
They felt bad. Once again they were holding them back because of something they can't control. Stars, why were they such a mess? He wasn't sure whether to blame past Siffrin for not sleeping all those loops, his past self for trapping them in the time loop that got them to this point, or the Universe for all his suffering.
Well it's a lot easier to blame the Universe, so...
Siffrin clapped their hands together, their eye shut as they began to focus. This was fine, they could look at the bright side of this! They had more time to learn this spell that they absolutely needed to learn as soon as possible! Or else… well… they might hurt someone again.
They took a deep breath, giving a vigorous shake of his hands as he felt a bit of restlessness forming at the thought. He didn't need to think about that right now.
What was it the book said? It's about shape? Right. There was a difference, they think. He recalled Mirabelle using the shield on him, and it felt more like a warm blanket being wrapped around him, protecting him. Barriers are supposed to be more flat, like a box, or so the book says.
He… isn't entirely sure how this was supposed to work. But he shouldn't overthink it, right? Maybe try how Mirabelle does it first.
Letting the energy of Craft flow through them, at their will (and not whatever they do when they’re asleep- they try hard not to think about their lack of control), they recalled the motions of what Mirabelle does when crafting her shield. The energy reached their hands, and they clapped once, firmly.
They opened their eye.
… Nothing seems to have happened.
They stood up, looked around to make sure their family members’ attention wasn't on them, and poked around at the air a bit. He hoped he didn't look stupid, but he's pretty sure they do. They don't hit any sort of wall. Disappointed, they returned to their spot by the rock and picked up the Craft book.
Stupid. That's how she used her shield, this is a blinding barrier.
Maybe he's not concentrating hard enough? Maybe the hand motions are wrong?
Maybe his first test subject for this shouldn't be himself. But he's not going to bother the others about it unless he really has to. They're doing so much for him already.
Besides, if they tried to use it on anyone else, what if they did it wrong and it blew them up? … pfft, no, that's a ridiculous thought, even for their mind.
They tried multiple other hand motions, like flattening their hands, spreading them wide as if that could help… they think it did for a second, but the energy fizzled out. They'd rather have the motion be less exaggerated anyway.
He even came up with a pun to name this spell if he could figure it out, to keep the growing frustration at bay; Box of tricks!
He tried thrusting his hands forward, hands still flat. He felt like he was getting close to getting it right when he saw some energy visible. Still not the result he wanted, but progress!
They kept at this for another hour or so. Occasionally, whenever they got frustrated, his thoughts wandered to why he was learning this in the first place. Sometimes they thought about what would happen if they couldn't make themself learn. The thought of failing makes them terrified enough that their hands shake, fear of their own strength filling their head and heart, and fueling his determination to learn this blinding spell.
They realized that's been happening a lot lately. Their hands, they mean. Of course, it never actually bothered them until they needed to use their hands for something important, like this. It's not constant, just whenever they think about their sleep-crafting situation. It's never happened before in their life, they think, until after the loops. Just one more thing to deal with after that mess, they guessed.
He wondered if that was messing with his ability to do this right now. The book did say something about keeping composure and having a steady hand, one of those he realized he was having a hard time doing. He thought it made sense in his head, since it was supposed to be flat, and a lack of control would probably result in… not that. But come on, he couldn’t mess something as simple as crafting up, could he?
“Hi Siffrin!” Mirabelle's voice suddenly called out, snapping him out of his thoughts. She stood beside him, two arms length away from him. When did she get there?
Siffrin jumped, making an embarrassing startled sound as he stared at Mirabelle, wide eyed. He took in panicked breaths that quickly began to slow when his brain realized it was just Mirabelle. … was he really so focused that he didn’t even hear the ding-ding sound her brooch makes?
“Oh! I'm sorry for startling you.” Mirabelle apologized with her hands clasped in front of her chest.
They couldn't help but say, “Don't scare me like that, Mira!” They laughed a bit, half in an effort to mask their panicked tone and not make Mirabelle feel bad.
“I really am sorry! I just wanted to check on you. You seem hard at work. How is it going?”
His frustration leaked through as he answered, “Just great.” He didn't mean to imply it wasn't going well at all. He thought it was, just… he’s missing something.
As expected with that type of response, she doesn't believe him. “Really?” She asked in a disbelieving tone.
Putting on his best pun making smirk, he raised his hands as he said, “Hey, in my defense, this is harder than you make it look.” Making sure to put extra emphasis on ‘defense’.
“But I… oh, right, that…” Mirabelle trailed off, her eyes slowly widening in realization. She narrowed her eyes, judgmentally squinting at him. “Siffrin!” She scolded, though it was accompanied with a giggle, so Siffrin considered it a success.
Siffrin joined in the laughter with a grin.
Mirabelle's laughter settled down first as she asked, “But really, do you need help?”
“Um…” Do they? They feel like they’re getting pretty close. … but they’ve been ‘pretty close’ for an hour. At least they think it’s been an hour. They’re not sure, actually. … stars, at this point, they should just get a watch.
“You don’t have to say yes, but… I’ve been watching you. Um… o-occasionally, I mean. You… seem like you’ve been struggling.” Mirabelle really looked like she was itching to help him. Even if they’re pretty certain she still doesn’t know her own shield spell.
He didn’t notice her or the others watching either, but he stopped trying not to look stupid a little while ago, putting more and more focus into the craft. He looked at his hand, for once not shaking, but it did feel a bit tired.
He still didn’t answer her question, and he’s just now realizing this. Before he could give an answer, Mirabelle simply asked, “Would you like to take a break instead then?”
But they’re so close… “I’m fine.” They said.
“Siffrin, please. I don’t want you to exhaust yourself. It’s not fun, believe me.” Oh don’t they know it, experiencing a worse version of that first hand. This doesn’t feel nearly as close to that level of exhaustion though, they think. They could probably push through for a little while longer.
… but then he looked at Mirabelle’s worried face and thought otherwise. Ah he doesn’t want to make her worry about him…
Siffrin gave a long sigh, putting a bookmark in the craft book before closing it. “Fiiiiine.”
Mirabelle perked up, smiling. He was happy to take a break if it meant seeing her smile.
… they didn’t realize how hungry they were either, until they bit into the snacks Bonnie prepared. Definitely not enough to fill him, but he was happy to eat something all the same.
Before they got back to their attempts though, Mirabelle called out, “Um… Siffrin, before you become busy again, I want to try something.”
Siffrin turned to her, curious.
“I thought about what you said- the CARROT method I mean and I… I think you were right. It made it click for me, but I wanted to try using it, if that’s alright.”
Siffrin nodded. “On me?” They asked.
“Well yes. I was a little worried something might go wrong, but you said I’ve done it before, so…”
“You’ll do fine.” They reassured her. This would be her first time of course, but if it clicks for her, it usually turns out alright.
His incredible amount of trust in her seems to make her nerves go away. “Alright then!”
She prepared herself, took a deep breath, and clapped once, firmly like she always does. That warm blanket feeling wrapped itself around Siffrin, the traveler not giving much of a reaction to it. The thought gave way to the memory of when she first used it on them. They vaguely recalled being nervous when she suddenly chose them to use it on. Now it seemed to be the other way around, even if his calmness boosted Mirabelle’s confidence.
The only thing missing from this scene was Bonnie punching them afterwards, but he’s not going to call them over for that. He didn’t like thinking of the loops but… this memory wasn’t that bad to recall, at least.
Mirabelle’s voice dragged him out of the memory. “Well, did it work?”
They know it did, they can feel it, but just to prove it to Mirabelle, they pinched themself. It barely hurts. They smiled with a thumbs up. Mirabelle beamed.
“That’s great! Thank you for letting me do this, Siffrin!”
“No problem.” Siffrin nodded.
… although, was there really a need for this spell now? The King was defeated, that was the entire reason they had to repeatedly tell her about the CARROT method in the first place. He supposed it’d be useful if, Universe forbid, the King returns or something.
They felt a bit of envy, admittedly. Mirabelle could learn the shield so easily, and yet he was struggling with crafting a barrier. He bet that she could figure this one out too, just as fast. What was he doing though? He’s her friend, he shouldn’t be feeling this way, especially over some blinding spell.
“Siffrin? Are you alright?”
And now he’s worrying her. Good job. “I’m fine.” They defaulted to saying.
Unconvinced, she walked closer to Siffrin. “You can tell me if something is bothering you, remember? Feelings buddies?”
“Feelings buddies.” He parroted back. But would she want to hear that he’s… envious of her? No, he couldn’t say that. He just couldn’t. He’s disgusting for even thinking that.
He spent another half a minute staring at the ground, trying to think of what to say. Anxious, he glanced at Mirabelle as if she’d abandon him if he didn’t say anything. Her patient but worried expression finally made him concede.
“It’s… you…” They tried to start, but they just ended up mumbling and making frustrated noises into their collar. Of course talking has become hard now. When he finally found the words, he forced them to come out before they could die in his throat. “It’s just… you can learn that so quickly.”
Mirabelle tilted her head.
Well, they already started talking about it. “Um… what I mean by that is… you learn that almost instantly, like at the start of every loop, but I’m just now realizing… you have to be pretty good if you can learn it just like that.”
“Oh.” Mirabelle blinked. “I’m not sure about that, it just… clicks for me when I think about the CARROT method so…” She paused, as if she just realized something. She smiled as if she was about to laugh. “Are you… jealous, Siffrin?”
“No!” Siffrin immediately denied.
“The mysterious and cool Siffrin, jealous!” Mirabelle continued, laughing.
“Hey…!” They looked at her judgmentally. They… did not expect her to start laughing. “Do you really still think of me as mysterious?”
“Sort of?” Mirabelle asked as her laughter settled down. “I’m sorry, I just… didn’t think you could be jealous.”
“Um… s… sorry?” Siffrin stuttered, sounding more like a question than an apology. “But… why?”
“Because… well, I think you’re good too. You know all those craft skills and…” Her smile turned into a frown, not out of sadness or anything, but she seemed to be thinking. “Hmm. Now that I think about it… when… did you learn those skills anyway?”
“Huh?” When?
“You only knew Piercing Craft skills and how to speed up others when we got to Dormont. And now you can use Paper Craft, Rock Craft, and even Healing Craft… I’m assuming it was during the loops, but… well it feels strange now that I think about it. Not bad, just strange.”
Siffrin could understand how it’d seem strange to anyone but them. Using Paper Craft and Rock Craft was just as second nature to them as Scissors now. He couldn’t exactly recall when he learned them though. As if the ‘when’ mattered in a time loop, anyway.
But still… “Is it that weird though? Odile knows all three main craft types.”
“I mean, it's different for Madame Odile, she’s smart- not to say you aren’t!” Mirabelle’s eyes widened as she worriedly looked at Siffrin, concerned she offended him. When she only got a head tilt from Siffrin, she continued, "And um… she already knew them when we got there. So… I’m just wondering now…”
“I… can’t remember when. But does it matter in a time loop?”
“Just give me a loop number, maybe I can figure it out with that?”
“Hm. Still can’t remember that.” He shook his head. He definitely didn’t keep track of what happened on what specific loop. They all started blurring together at one point.
“Okay… so, why then?”
Okay, the reason is something they somewhat remembered. “I… guess I wanted to be more useful? To the group? When I realized the loops were going to keep going, even after beating the King. I could barely do much to the King myself compared to everyone else. You know, I’m a Scissors Craft user, he used Rock Craft… could say things would have been a little…” He smirked. “Rough if I didn’t.”
Mirabelle let out a small groan at the pun as Siffrin continued, “I'm surprised you guys never really asked before. You noticed I was moving faster, getting used to the layout, but never the Crafts I was using.”
“Maybe because of everything else going on, we never thought to ask? Just a guess though, I don't know what past Mirabelle was thinking.” She giggled a bit. “But see Siffrin? You're good at crafting spells too! You know so many already!”
“Not good enough to craft a barrier, apparently.” They tensed. What were they supposed to do if… they were so close before. “But… I just need more practice. I-I'm sure I'll get it by the end of the day at least!” They have to. They got lucky the last time they slept but-
“Um…” Mirabelle waved a hand near Siffrin's face, before she moved to grab their hands… which were trembling again. She looked at them worriedly.
Siffrin jumped a bit, but their reaction probably would have been worse if she didn't make sure he could see her first.
“Hm. Still scared, huh?” Her eyes met his. Siffrin nodded. “It's okay if it takes more than one day to get it, Siffrin.”
“I-It really isn't.” Siffrin immediately flinched upon saying that shoulders hiked up to their ears and their face somewhat hidden in their collar. Did they really say that out loud? Oops.
“It's also okay to ask for help if you're really worried.” She continued to reassure them.
… maybe just some sort of step in the right direction would be nice. “I just… think I'm missing something. I almost got it, I can feel it.”
Mirabelle hummed thoughtfully. She let go of Siffrin's hands, stepping back. “Try using it? Maybe I can help?”
Siffrin nodded. Doing as he did before, he flattened his hands and thrust them forward, concentrating the energy of Craft into them. He swore he could feel it form into something. He just needed to push a bit harder, for the sake of everyone else, his own sanity.
His hands shook again, but he ignored it. A swirl of craft energy formed from his hands, a bit unsteady. He spread his hands out quickly, the energy splitting in two and leaving his hands.
… they didn't form anything, fizzling out soon after. Siffrin let out a loud groan of frustration as Mirabelle watched him fail once again.
Mirabelle tilted her head thoughtfully. “Hmm… okay! I think I know what the problem might be!”
Couldn't have told him before he made a fool of himself? “What?” They practically growled out.
Mirabelle flinched a bit at their tone. Ah- don't scare her Siffrin… “Sorry. What is it?” They asked, trying to lighten up their tone.
“Um… I think you need to relax a bit.”
“What.” Relaxing is the last thing they need to do right now, as much as he'd love to just lay down and take a nap- no not nap, wood carve maybe.
“Well um… it's just… that felt quite… unstable? Maybe not the best word but… how tense you are when you're trying to use it doesn't seem to be helping.”
Oh, she didn't mean ‘take a break’ relax. “I can't help it.” Maybe the self-imposed pressure was getting to them. They held a hand to their chest as they continued, their speech speeding up. “I can't fail at this, I need to learn as soon as possible or…” He tightly shut his eye as his mind flashed back to the damage he caused, the pain he caused Isabeau-
“Oh Siffrin…” Mirabelle said sympathetically. “This whole thing is quite tricky isn’t it?” Stressful was probably a better word. Honestly, Siffrin was surprised they were the only one stressing over it. Maybe Odile too, but he knew she was doing her best.
He felt the hand on his chest being gently grabbed by both of Mirabelle's. The touch was grounding, even if he was a tiny bit startled at first. “Try breathing first? To calm down? That’s what you always do.”
They weren’t sure if it was going to help, but they nodded. Mirabelle led and Siffrin followed, breathing in and out. To their surprise it actually did help. Most of the tension went away. “Thanks.”
“Now… let’s try thinking of it this way. Instead of thinking of the barrier being used to keep yourself from hitting anything… maybe think of it as another way to protect everyone?”
“From myself?” Siffrin asked.
“No, silly! From sadnesses and powerful attacks like the King’s! It has to come in handy at some other point, right?” Mirabelle pointed out.
That’s… true. It was easier to think of it that way. Even if truthfully, Siffrin hoped it’d never come to that. They nodded.
“Now do you want to try again with that in mind?” Mirabelle asked.
Of course they do! They gave a determined nod.
Mirabelle stepped back from them to give them space. Siffrin took one more deep breath in and out, before repeating the motions he did before. The energy felt a lot more stable this time around, no nerves to mess up the spell. Instead of spreading out his hands though, he simply raised one in the air, which still did what he wanted.
The swirl of energy rose into the air, and spread out, forming a flat, transparent surface in a bright shade. … but it was only one surface. The roof of a box.
The two stared up at it, Mirabelle ecstatic and Siffrin, while he was happy with the progress, muttered, “That’s not a box.”
“You did it!” Mirabelle shouted happily.
“Still not a box.” He pointed out.
“But it's a start! It means you can do it!” Her eyes practically sparkled with happiness for Siffrin’s accomplishment.
… heh, he couldn’t stay too disappointed for long. Mirabelle’s joy was infectious. He gently smiled back at her. “Yeah. I guess I can.” Even that acknowledgement was a relief to them.
“Are you okay to continue practicing by yourself now?” Mirabelle asked.
“Hm. Yeah.” He chuckled. “I think a lot of the nerves are gone now. Could say they were blocked, maybe?”
After the last two puns, Mirabelle seemed to immediately recognize this one was too and groaned. “I’m leaving now, good luck Siffrin!” She tried to hide it, but he thought he could hear a bit of laughter being held back as Mirabelle walked away.
“Thanks for the help!” He giggled back.
“And try not to burn yourself out?” Mirabelle added.
“I’ll uh… try not to!” No promises, but he’s not adding that part.