Work Text:
15 minutes after she got home after a long day of work, Tori finds herself narrowly dodging a bottle of Smirnoff aimed at her head. It lands, smashing into tiny pieces of glass on the floor behind her, its content splattered all over the carpet, seeping into it.
Tamara sits at the kitchen table, right arm lingering in the end of a throwing motion. Despite her all-black eyes, Tori can tell how hard Tam’s glaring at her. She can feel it too in the way the bottle, just now, swished past her left cheek.
“Now, now. I just got back. Haven’t even showered.”
“I’ll fucking kill you. Tori.”
Last week, Tori accidentally sat on and broke one of the little crystal figurines she bought for Tamara about a year ago. They were strolling through the Christmas market when Tamara caught sight of them in one of the stalls selling Christmas decorations: six tiny crystal reindeers, each the size of a human thumb, happily galloping, their front hooves hovering in the air. Tori could tell at a glance that they were of dubious quality, but Tamara was rather enamored. She stopped and stared at them a little too intently.
“You want those, Tam?”
“…No, not really. They’re nice to look at, is all.”
The woman at the stall were talking to them now, and Tamara made to leave. But Tori had just received her first holiday bonus ever since she landed the job at the lab, so she was feeling generous.
“I’ll get these.”
“Ah, Tori. You don’t have to.”
“No, I insist. Can’t I do something nice for my friend every once in a while?”
“If you must, get the red-nosed one only.”
But they came in a set, so Tori got all six.
They sat themselves on a nearby bench because Tamara wanted to look at the figurines some more. She placed the box (red, glossy, adorned with graphics of Christmas presents and snowflakes) on her lap, quickly peeled off the tapes on its lid and lifted it. Underneath, the reindeers sat neatly in two rows, tucked inside the foam mold as if lying on white snow. Tamara plucked out the one with a round, red nose glued to its snout and held it to her eyes.
“This one’s you.”
The little thing glinted in the soft orange glow of late-day winter sun, and for a moment Tori almost understood why Tamara was so captivated by it.
“Why? ‘Cus I’m red?”
“Yeah, maybe. And because you’re always running ahead.”
Fast forward to a week ago, Tori was doing a cheeky little excursion into Tamara’s room while its owner was away, as she often does, when she saw the red-nosed reindeer standing prominently on Tamara’s computer desk, right next to the monitor. She had no doubt moved it there recently. Curious, Tori picked it up. She pinched it between her fingers and shifted it around, saw the way it caught and reflected back the fluorescent light from the ceiling. Then she moved on to Tamara’s closet.
A couple minutes later, Tori already forgot she had tossed the figurine onto Tamara’s chair after playing with it, so when she sat down and heard the tiniest “crack”…
Little Rudolph found his resting place underneath Tori’s bed, inside a paper box that used to store her collection of cheap plastic bracelets. His neck was slender so it snapped off easily, along with one of his hind legs.
Tori did intend to tell Tam about it, eventually. But work picked up and before she knows it, Tori was spending nights at the lab staring at bacteria and catching naps in the empty office on the opposite side of the hallway. The poor reindeer easily slipped her mind. That is until she woke up this morning from being smacked on the forehead.
“Tori, you fucking cunt. Where’s my Rudolph.”
“Your Rudolph… Oh, you mean?”
Tori pointed underneath her bed, ‘S here, before rolling over.
“Fucking hell, get up! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Sorry, I forgot. What time is it?”
Tori glanced at her wristwatch. It’s 7 AM. Work starts in an hour. Her alarm clock had gone off, but Tori was sleeping too deeply to hear it, no doubt out of sheer exhaustion. It’s the first time this week that Tori got to sleep at home. She half-wanted to thank Tamara for slapping her awake.
“Tam, I gotta go. Can we do this later?”
“No! You broke him!”
But Tori shoved Tamara aside, grabbed her things and made a beeline for the bathroom. She showered and changed into her work clothes, then made another beeline for the door, all despite Tamara’s protest.
The day went by as usual.
Then work ended and Tori had to head home. As she stood at the front door, Tori let out a heavy sigh.
She had half-heartedly hoped that Tamara was already asleep, that she could just quietly go to her room, have a good night’s sleep, then deal with all this tomorrow when Tamara’s cooled off. But, knowing her friend, Tori wasn’t surprised to find the other sitting in the kitchen, hand palming a bottle of Smirnoff though seemingly not drinking from it, already looking at her the moment she stepped half a foot into the house. She continued to stare as Tori retired to the couch, trying to get some rest.
Once she got sick of the staring, Tori stood up.
“Now, Jehovah, listen. It was just a figur–“
That earned her a bottle to the head. Or at least it would have, if not for Tori’s quick reflexes.
“You’re crazy.”
“You know why I’m mad. You know!”
No she doesn’t, not really. She did break the reindeer and hide it from Tam for several days, but that’s surely not enough to warrant having a glass bottle thrown at her. Nor is it enough for Tamara to be fuming still some 17 hours later.
“Sorry I broke your toy, sorry I never told you about it. Happy now?”
“It’s not just a toy.”
“Oh but it is. You’re kidding?”
Tamara choked.
“How are you so…dense!”
Tori has been taking steps towards Tamara as she spoke so before she realizes it, they were standing face-to-face, close enough for Tori to see that the other girl is trembling now, nostrils flaring and eyes blown wide, probably doing her damnest to hold back tears. She also stinks of booze.
Pathetic, Tori thinks. How she despises Tam sometimes. All the time.
“Alright, listen here. I had a long day today, and I’m not going to stand here and indulge your…” she waves her hand around “…temper tantrum. Either you say to my face what it is exactly that got your panties in a twist, or wrap this up.”
Tamara says nothing back, only trembles harder.
“Is it because it’s my gift? I can buy you another one, easily. It’s so cheap–“
Before Tori can finish her sentence, she feels a hard thump on one of her boobs. Tamara has swung at her. Even though she’s drunk and her arms are like twigs because she doesn’t eat enough and never exercises, it still hurts. Tori stumbles backwards. Bitch, she mutters. It hurts like hell to be struck in the boob.
But it always comes to this, doesn’t it, every time they argue. It’s a question of when and not if, of who would strike first.
Tori lunges forward. She shoves Tam to the floor and quickly pins the other down with her thighs. Her left hand finds the girl’s boney forearm and grips it hard, locks it in place, nails digging into the scant flesh; her right she balls into a fist and dives into Tam’s belly, three, four, five times. Thump-thump-thump-thump. The sound of Tori’s knuckles slamming against her friend’s gut, It was solid and real. Got Tori sucking breaths through gritted teeth.
Tamara squirms, turning her torso sideways to try and escape the deadlock of Tori’s thighs. She coughs and sputters and chokes on her own spit, and Tori never hated anyone more.
Someone is rushing down the stairs now. “What is it this tim— For fuck’s sake, Tori!” Ell cries out. Swiftly, she hooks her arms around Tori’s own and drags her away from poor Tam, who immediately rolls over and curls in on herself. Tori sees that in the mess of spit and puke that leaks out of Tam’s mouth to stain the carpet, there’s some redness. She must have bit the inside of her mouth.
“You can let go of me now.” Tori grumbles. Ell still has her arms squeezed around Tori’s chest, holding her in place.
Tamara has gotten back to her feet and is now hunched over the kitchen sink.
“No, unless you promise to go straight to your room.”
You’re not my fucking mom, Tori thinks. But the adrenaline fades and Tori is back to being exhausted, so she relents. There’s no point in dragging this out.
Ell releases her at the foot of the stairs.
——
When Tori is back in her room, she finds that Rudolph is no longer under her bed.
Truth is, Tori did know the reason why Tamara was so upset. She just thinks it’s ridiculous. Even more ridiculous is that Tam expected her to just get it.
The figurine was something Tori bought for Tamara, so for her to treat it with such callousness... The girl must have felt neglected by Tori, in a way.
She knows it, but that implied sentimentality in Tamara’s actions makes her skin crawl, so she decided it’s not worth acknowledging. She doesn’t like thinking about her and Tamara and whatever kind of relationship they have. In fact, she’s pretty comfortable in this turbulent, forever interim between friends and girl-friends that they find themselves in, thank you very much. They hang out, they fuck, they argue all the time and rough each other up and Tori usually wins. What more could you ask for?
But Tamara’s a sweetheart. She’s got a prickly attitude and anger problems, but a sweetheart nonetheless. Entangling herself with someone like Tori has gotten her all busted and blue, sometimes literally. And still she wants more of it.
Tori rolls onto her back and stares at the ceiling. She feels a sinking weight in her chest, which usually means she’ll be at Tamara’s door soon.
It’s 3 AM now, 3 hours until the sun rises.
“Tammy, are you awake?”
No answer. The door isn’t locked, so Tori invites herself in.
Tamara’s in bed, blanket tucked to her chin. Her eyes are closed but something tells Tori she’s not asleep yet. Gently, Tori squeezes herself into the space between Tamara and the wall, one arm reaching under the blanket to drape over the other girl’s midsection. She can tell now that Tamara’s holding an ice packet against her belly.
“Does it hurt a lot?”
Tam’s shoulders made a tiny, almost imperceptible twitch. So Tori scoots closer. She wrap her arm more tightly around Tamara’s body and slowly draws her close, until her upper-back is resting against Tori’s chest. She doesn’t protest, which is a good sign.
“I’m sorry for, um, everything.”
“…Apology rejected.” Tam replies finally.
“C’mon, Tam. I’ll fix him, okay? I’ll stick him back together.”
Silence.
Tori glances at the computer desk. There it is, Rudolph’s coffin. Then she presses her nose against Tam’s hair which smells faintly of the girl’s favorite pineapple-scented shampoo.
“You doing anything tomorrow night? We can go have dinner, or something. Anything is fine, really. Let me make it up to you.”
“Don’t you have work?”
“No, not really. Not at night. I’ll figure it out.”
“I, I don’t think I can go out. Let’s just stay home and…watch some movie.”
“Sounds good.”
Tori can feel some tension leaving Tam’s body. She’s leaning against Tori now, putting on her satisfying pressure. In return, Tori slides one arm underneath Tam’s ribs and fully embraces her.
“Sorry for throwing a bottle at you.”
“Don’t apologize. Work on your aim instead. Make sure it lands next time.”
Tamara chuckles sweetly.
“You’re always doing this to me.”
“Do what?…Oh, don’t cry!”
“I’m not crying.” But Tori can hear it in her voice.
Tori wakes up 4 hours later to find Tamara breathing softly against her collarbone, one leg draped over Tori’s hip. There’s a mildly discomforting wetness on her stomach where the ice packet has melted.
Quietly, Tori peels Tam off of herself. She stirs a little but doesn’t wake. Glancing back at her friend one more time, Tori sees that she has a restful expression on her face, her mouth slightly parted. Strands of blondish brown hair stuck to her damp cheeks.
Then Tori goes back to her room.