Chapter Text
Adrian didn't know when they had given up hope that their mate would return to them. After nearly 100 years, a thrum was held by the council of Erid and the mission had been declared a failure, although it had been widely accepted for years before it was official - but not by Adrian. When most families cried and held their funerals, Adrian did not - could not accept that the failure of the mission meant that the ship carrying his beloved would never return home. They went about their life as normally as they could, not moving a single of Rocky's tools from their workshop, refusing to change the layout of their home, because what if Rocky didn't like it when they returned?
A group memorial was held on the 200th anniversary of the launch. It was a massive event and all the families were invited. Adrian was pressured to attend by Rocky’s family, to be with them during the challenging times, but it felt like a huge waste of time for nothing. Adrian was furious that they would demand such a thing when there was still a chance that Rocky could return, but they still put on their nicest decorations and attended. The ceremony was beautiful, and they got to speak with many of the council, but as more and more strangers wished their condolences, Adrian grew more and more irate that all these Eridians had accepted that their families were not returning. It was a horrible affair that left Adrian stewing for days and pushing away all those close to them. They focused on their artwork and created some disturbing works that provoked some horrid emotions over the next few years that didn't really make them feel better.
After 300 years, communities were perhaps starting to panic at the lowering temperatures from the decaying star. Sending another ship had been completely off the table for years, but was again being discussed by the council. Adrian became a loud voice rallying on the pro side, but eventually the idea was vetoed for fears of what caused the first ship to fail. It was decided that they would build a scanner, to try and extend the range of their hearing into the the abyss, but it would need to be installed above the atmosphere, so the first project that would be built would be a space elevator. This was a massive project, and many Eridians would be working on it for years to come, so Adrian signed up to do what work they could to make this happen as soon as possible, to work towards finding and bringing Rocky home, dead or alive.
While their art had comforted them for centuries, and had always brought them joy in the past and helped them process their emotions, it now produced nothing but a deep sadness and feeling of loss. They fell into a deep artistic block and found no reward in their craft, so they eventually changed vocations to work in architecture, burying themself in work. The combination of their background in art and using what Rocky had taught them about engineering over their years together felt like a connection to their mate, and it helped feel like they were close again, remembering Rocky’s ramblings on material properties or their rants about triangles brought them comfort on days where it felt like maybe they couldn't go on alone anymore. Utilizing the things that their Love had taught them made it easy to pretend that Rocky was still around, as the centuries passed; they became an expert in their field and helped to design even portions of the space elevator’s entryways and communal spaces. While their work was rewarding, the hole in their life never filled without their mate by their side.
And they tried to fill that hole. Mate groups of up to 5 were quite common, and Rocky and Adrian had discussed the possibility of adding to their cluster, but the right individual had not crossed their paths before Rocky had left on their mission. Adrian had intended to venture out and maybe find companionship, but found that as the years passed so did their drive to do so. The world was ending, their First Love was gone and they hardly had the drive to do anything except work. Adrian kept comparing everyone they approached romantically to Rocky, which wasn’t fun for anyone and led to a couple hard conversations before Adrian eventually decided that dating wasn’t for them. That's fine, they could wait until Rocky returned… like they discussed. Once the star was saved, then it would be a much safer idea to lay a clutch, knowing that the planet would survive their pebble’s lifespan.
But through all of the many years that passed, Adrian never realised exactly when they had given up hope. When they had accepted that the love of their life was not returning home… that the mission had failed and their partner had probably met their end in the great darkness somewhere between here and the uninfected star… eventually their days went from crude denial to cold acceptance, going through the motions of their day and doing what they could to work on protecting the rest of their community from their dying star, unlike how Adrian had failed to protect their Mate.
Adrian knew at some point they must have accepted their mate’s demise, because a wave of cold acceptance was all they felt at what greeted them at their door this morning. Perhaps it was because it was so early in the morning, freshly arisen from their rest, or maybe it was because they had imagined this moment so many times over so many years that a being with lesser memory would have lost count. A knock on their door had roused them from their slow start to the day, but answering it had not gone as expected.
“...Youll have to excuse me, could you say all of that again, I must have misheard you.”
“I think you heard me well. You have been summoned as next of Kin to Second Engineer Rocky from the Ship to Save the Stars to appear urgently at the space elevator. There has been a development that requires your immediate attention and you have been requested to report back with me.” The messenger Eridian, who stood about half as tall as Adrian, took a moment to pause and hum a comforting note, “you won't need a bag, all will be provided for you. More information will be provided when we are at the mission base.”
Adrian couldn't let out a single note. They had been told years ago that no further contact would be required for any of the families left behind by the crew of the Ship, unless specifically they gathered details regarding the fates of the crew. They must have gotten back results from the scanner - that had been installed at the elevator just a few months ago - to try and listen into space and learn at least how far they had gotten before the mission became a failure.
Adrian felt a disconnect from their body, but the steam was building up behind their vents and they were feeling like they were nearing a panic attack. The messenger, hearing Adrian’s panic, sang a tune of reassurance. Adrian took a moment to collect themselves, but their panic only receded to leave behind a deep feeling of loss.
Adrian might not know when they lost hope that Rocky would return alive, but it was in this moment that they felt all of their grief hit like a fresh wound. A deep shudder travelled through their whole carapace before they gathered themselves off the floor - when had they fallen? Adrian stood shakily before the messenger.
“I will follow you there”.