Chapter Text
I’m not normal. Sure, who is? But I’m not abnormal in the conventional sense either. Not human. Humanity doesn’t come to me easily. It doesn’t come naturally.
For reality is that I am a being beyond humanity. I don’t bleed red anymore.
I know that I’m not alone in this curse of partial humanity. I know that the purple blood in my veins is shared with others like me. Other watchers.
The first part of my life, I was human. A human boy with a human family. Most of that is gone now. For I’m not Ryland Grace anymore. I haven’t been Ryland Grace since these wings were torn out of my skin and my vision gained spectrality. I haven’t had that name in a long time. I haven’t been myself.
My twin brother is alive though. That I made sure of. That’s why I sacrificed my humanity. So that Colt could live a happy, normal, human life. Unlike mine.
My knees hit the obsidian platform as my physical eyes closed, and several spectral ones opened. I see Xelqua there. He’s short, dirty blonde, with four sets of dark black wings. I know he was forced into this life just as I was.
Beside me stood a golden being. Tango. He didn’t abandon his human name after becoming…. This. Despite having become a Watcher he decided to cling to that last piece of humanity. Unfortunately most of us didn’t have that option. I didn’t have that option.
I cringed as my wings unsheathed, black feathers flying everywhere as I flapped them Once, Twice. Tango giggled at me. I couldn’t bring myself to smile back.
“So, Sol…” A voice began. I knew what it was. It was The Voice. Our Voice. Our collective thrum. It was us and yet it wasn't.
I looked up at the sound of my name. I hated it but I didn’t have a choice.
“You’ve decided”
I nodded. I would’ve closed my eyes and braced myself for this if I could, but my physical eyes opened yet again as I gained rank. I gasped as a second pair of wings grew out of my back.
I groaned. It really, really, really hurts. But it needs to happen. So I can go home again.
Robes are placed upon me as my vision fogs. I’m snowblind.
“Good luck, Sol” Tango’s voice was soothing as always. He’d be there with me when we got to earth.
My eyes were blind but I could see a snowflake glistening on a tree. I was laying in the snow. It wasn’t cold at all. I couldn’t feel physically, but I could feel presence. I felt the presence of the cold, the presence of Tango beside me, and the presence of a man named Lars.
“Oh god!! Karin! Karin!” I saw the man scramble inside as he yelled, looking surprised and a little panicked. I sat up in the snow. Tango looked human. He was giggling to himself as he laid there and made snowangels. We were in just shorts and a tank top. His blonde hair was very long and fanned out beneath him as he laughed. That's when I noticed my hair was long as well. Down to my mid back and clumped with snow in an uncomfortable manner. My glasses were perched on my nose. I didn’t need them, but it made me look believably human, I suppose.
“Yes, Lars? I was feeding the ba- Oh goodness!” Karin stepped out on the porch and almost dropped the plates she was holding as she saw me and a very giddy Tango in her backyard. Her husband Gus stepped out next to her with their baby Bianca. I knew all their names. Of course I do. I’m not mortal.
“Hey! You two!” Gus called. He held on to his baby very tightly as he yelled. “What in the world are you doing in my lawn?!”
Tango sat up, hair wild and matted with snow. His eyes were reddish brown. Not the red I knew so well. Human disguises. I could see his phantom wings faintly- a purple outline against the white snow. I knew he could see mine.
“Well, we woke up here!” Tango began. “I don’t really remember how we ended up here…”
I nodded. Tango looked at me.
“We gotta deceive them” He transmitted.. “So we can get out in the world.”
My eyebrows furrow. I tilt my head. The telepathy was still funky to me, but I can survive it.
“Yes.” I responded. To the humans by the house (who are currently getting blankets for me and Tango) it looks like we’re just staring into each others’ eyes. Freaky. “I need to find Colt.”
Tango nodded at me quickly. His wings flapped once, and I flapped mine in response. It was always weird using phantom limbs, but I digress. I tilt my head at him as Karin wraps a blanket around my shoulders, cussing in Swedish as she ushers me and Tango inside.
The square dinner table was dressed in a white tablecloth as me, Tango and the humans sat around it. Food had been placed in front of me. I ate politely. I hadn’t eaten in so long. Hunger is the best seasoning, is it not? This food would be amazing regardless. The meal consisted of oven baked salmon, carrots, peas, and potatoes. Very filling and nutritious. I didn’t need to eat to survive, those that are like me feed off negative emotion after all. But I let myself indulge. It tasted so good.
“This is amazing, Thank you.” Tango said. I nodded appreciatively, putting a potato in my mouth. Lars noticed my unnaturally sharp canines but didn’t say anything. I appreciated that. Tango looked at me, smiling with a mouthful of salmon. It was kinda gross. Lars cringed, Karin looked away and Gus did the same.
The thing I chose to ignore, or rather the person, was Ken. Ken sat next to Lars with Bianca on his hip, smiling and talking. Lars only blushed in his direction.
Oh. Yeah.
They had a red string of fate connecting one another. Soul mates. Just like Karin’s string led to Gus’ and Bianca didn’t have one.
That's another thing I lack as a Watcher. A destiny. We’re the ones who make destiny- we watch our creation unfold. But we don't have a destiny. My human self’s destiny was to become a Watcher. There was nothing left for me anymore, except watching.
Ken waved a bit at me, interrupting his conversation with Bianca. I waved back.
°•☆•°▪︎°•☆•°▪︎°•☆•°
Rocky was sleeping as I heard it.
Blip D detected
Probably space debris or something, but I decided to check it out. I walked to the window.
A spaceship. A cartoony looking one, but clearly man made.
Pressed to the window was a man with bright yellow hair, brown roots, and brown eyes. His red sunglasses were cracked and practically useless up here, but I could tell they have some sentimental value.
He got out of his spaceship. He wore an EVA suit. I opened my airlock. He got in.
°•☆•°▪︎°•☆•°▪︎°•☆•°
Ken lended us some of his clothes. That's how I ended up in glittery silver harem pants and a neon purple jacket, as well as neon purple shoes. I did my best to not look uncomfortable. Tango wore the most hideous white fur coat I’d ever seen. He looked joyous as he gave us the clothes.
“I have enough, I’m a material girl after all” he said, smiling brightly as Lars came up behind him with a food container. He looked tired. He radiated love behind the insecure aura that was Lars.
“Karin told me to give it to you. You can keep the box” He didn’t make eye contact with my physical eyes, but he stared right into one of my spectral ones. I wasn't sure how to feel about that.
“Thank you, Lars. Thank you. Really appreciate it” Tango said. His voice sounded genuine. It had to. Watchers like us could fake human emotion, but not to one another. We always knew there was emptiness within.
Karin, Gus and Ken hugged us goodbye. Lars just stood there. I knew why. What his father had done to him…. Lars didn’t deserve that. Nobody deserved that. I get why he’s repulsed.
Yet Ken…. Ken didn’t get that reaction out of him. Ken held Lars’ hand. It didn’t burn Lars. I knew why. Ken and Lars did not.
My boots crunched against the snow as we walked across the town. Tango had his hands in his pockets and looked truly happy as we walked.
Why was he happy? Or rather, how was he happy? Watchers couldn’t feel emotion. None of us could. I looked at him.
“How do you fake emotion so effortlessly?” I looked away and buried my hands in my pockets. Such a shame. That someone as empathetic as me ended up like this. That someone as empathetic as Tango ended up like this. His face fell and his eyes dulled. “You’ve been a watcher only 2 days longer than me.” I didn’t know what he gave his humanity up for, but he didn’t know about Colt’s accident. Well, he did know but not that's the reason.
In Tango’s chest there was a cold, dead heart. Just like mine. He looked away.
“I’ve always had to fake emotion. Most of it, anyway.” Tango raked a hand through his hair, and his breath puffed out in tiny clouds of steam. “I was an actor for a while. Before joining HASA.”
“Dont you mean NASA?”
“No. HASA. What the heck is NASA?”