Work Text:
Cody should be sleeping. He has such little time to rest, and his body is so tired. But his mind is unrelenting.
Obi-Wan was something else tonight. He regaled the troop with stories from his youth, keeping them laughing and engaged for hours around the campfire. After so much loss and grief, it was deeply needed. It led many of his brothers into stories of their own, detailing bouts of mischief that sent Obi-Wan into fits of laughter. Cody, on the other hand, sat quietly the whole night, taking in everyone else’s stories and wondering if he’ll ever get the chance to form memories for himself outside of the war. So many of his brothers will never get the chance to. He found himself silently questioning if any of his brothers around the campfire will see the war come to an end.
Cody doesn’t imagine he will.
Watching and listening to Obi-Wan did provide him a nice escape from it all. The image of him laughing in front of the campfire is burned into Cody’s mind: the flames lit up his features, reflecting brilliantly in his eyes. Cody had to keep reminding himself to look elsewhere.
A gentle rustling noise catches his focus, and his head snaps over to the entrance of his tent just as Obi-Wan pokes his head through.
“I knew you’d be awake. Come with me,” Obi-Wan waves his hand, gesturing for Cody to follow.
Cody doesn’t think twice about the order, grateful for whatever task his general has planned for him. He would much rather be of use than to be sitting alone with these thoughts. He sits up, tossing the flimsy covering of his sleeping bag to the side.
“Cody,” Obi-Wan says, raising his eyebrow curiously. “Were you sleeping in your armor?”
He blinks at Obi-Wan, then looks down at himself. Somehow he had managed to forget—too wrapped up inside of his own mind.
“I wasn’t really sleeping,” Cody answers sheepishly.
“That much is obvious, my dear.” Cody blinks twice more at the moniker. My dear. It’s never just ‘my dear.’ Always ‘my dear Commander.’ This distinction is crucial. It’s even appreciated, for it kept Cody’s heart from blurring the lines of their relationship even further.
Obi-Wan watches him expectantly. Right. He said to follow him, and Cody is still sitting on the ground, dumbfounded.
“Right behind you, Sir,” Cody says, reaching for his bucket.
“Oh, you won’t be needing that.”
Cody glances back at him uncertainly. Obi-Wan gives him a wink and disappears back outside.
Cody sits in place for another beat. He leaves the bucket but slides his blaster in its holster on his way out.
When Cody exits the tent, he sees Obi-Wan standing at the edge of the camp, quietly speaking to Waxer. They both look over to Cody at the same time; it gives him a strange feeling. He makes his way over to them, and Obi-Wan gestures for him to keep walking out of the camp.
They walk through the woods in comfortable silence, Cody dutifully scanning their surroundings for any possible threats. Life buzzes within the trees, but as of right now, there seems to be nothing that could pose a hazard to them.
After a couple of minutes, Cody builds up the courage to ask, “Where are we going?”
“Sometimes, the destination is the journey,” Obi-Wan tells him. With a smirk, he continues, “Not necessarily this time, though. Patience; we’re almost there.”
Obi-Wan wasn’t lying; less than a minute later, they reach a clearing in the woods.
“When I have trouble sleeping, I often find myself looking to the stars. I thought you may like to give it a try; the view out here is perfect for it."
Obi-Wan points to the cliffside on the other end of the clearing. From there, they take in an impeccable view of the ocean and the stars on the horizon.
“Cody?”
“Yes?”
“Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”
Cody peeks over at Obi-Wan. He’s observing the stars, eyes calmly trailing along the various constellations. He must have noticed Cody on edge during the campfire. It should come as no surprise; he’s always in tune with his surroundings.
Obi-Wan continues, “You’ve been so quiet tonight, I thought it may serve you better to speak to a more…intimate audience.”
“There isn’t anything particular on my mind,” he fibs. “Thank you for bringing me out here, though. It’s nice.”
“Yes, it is.”
They stand in peaceful silence, only the sound of the leaves blowing in the breeze in their ears as they observe the sky.
After a few minutes, Cody’s eyes drop from the stars. He now peers over the edge of the grassy cliff the two of them stand upon, taking note of the rocks below. Uncomfortable thoughts swirl in his mind, and he finds himself looking for an outlet.
“Sir?”
No answer. He had clearly heard Cody, but his eyes stay fixated on the stars.
“Obi-Wan?” He tries.
“Yes?” He asks, looking at Cody with a gentle smile on his face.
Cody doesn’t want to ask his question anymore. It’s stupid, and all it will do is make his Jedi worry, wiping that beautiful smile from his face. He’s being incredibly selfish—Obi-Wan just wanted to look at the stars, and he’s making it all about himself. It’s just every time he looks down…
It’s not that he wants to, his brain is just incessantly curious to know what would happen if he did. He tries to snap himself out of it, but his head is already too clouded from the bizarreness of this situation.
“It’s stupid,” Cody waves his hand, dismissing the subject. He should have never brought it up. Normal people don’t say that sort of thing out loud. He supposes he technically isn’t a normal person, but he still shouldn’t either.
“What is it?” Obi-Wan gently presses.
Cody peers over the edge of the cliff again. On the edge of his lips lies: Would you be able to catch me if I fell? Would you try?
His behavior must be making Obi-Wan nervous. His hand shoots out to grip Cody’s bicep, holding him back.
“Cody.” His voice comes out with a slight strain. “Step back.”
Cody meets his Jedi’s eyes and is met with an expression he’s only seen on his face a handful of times. He’s afraid.
“I’m not…” He trails off pitifully.
“Please.”
There’s such desperation in his tone that Cody’s feet are already moving before he can get the word out. As soon as there’s enough space, Obi-Wan steps between him and the cliff’s edge.
“It’s fine, I’m fine,” he insists, though his voice sounds hollow in his own ears. Judging by the way Obi-Wan’s eyes are still locked on his, he clearly doesn’t believe him.
“Don’t you lie to me.” Obi-Wan’s hand grips Cody’s arm tighter, as if he’s scared to find out what will happen if he dares to let go.
“I…” Cody trails off, looking for an honest answer to placate the man in front of him. “I wasn’t going to jump.”
“No, you weren’t,” Obi-Wan replies, finality in his voice. “I’d have to come after you, and I’m not too certain that we’d stick the landing.”
That answers that question. Actually, that answer goes far beyond Cody’s original curiosity. He tries to process the fact that Obi-Wan just told him that if Cody jumps, he’ll be right behind him. There’s no time, for Obi-Wan is already speaking again.
“You have been out of it all night. What’s going on?”
Cody sighs, turning his gaze back to the stars. It’s quite a sight to behold—it’s been ages since Cody has been able to stand back like this, just enjoying the beauty of the world. His life’s purpose was never to feel at peace in this way, simply taking in the beauties of the Universe. He was built to be a soldier, to fight and die for the Republic. Other than the occurrences Obi-Wan is gracious enough to share with him, his life has been scarce of moments such as these.
The least he can do is be honest with him.
“Do you ever think about what kind of life you would be living if you were under different circumstances?” Cody keeps his eyes aimed at the sky. “Meaning, if you weren’t a Jedi. Or if I was anything more than a military asset.”
“Cody,” Obi-Wan says sadly. He loosens his grip on Cody’s arm, but doesn’t pull away.
“Your stories tonight, they were incredible. And you know I’d listen to you forever, but stories are all they are to me. I want…” I want to be a part of your stories. I want stories of my own. I want the chance to decide. He swallows the words down. “I just wonder where we would be if things were different.”
For a moment, they stand in the silence.
Obi-Wan gently tugs on his arm. “Sit down.”
Cody obliges without question. He awkwardly repositions his legs on the ground, unsure what to do with himself. Obi-Wan sits in a cross-legged position at his side, turned to face him. Cody decides to lean back on his hands so they can see each other clearly.
He suspects this is about to be the clearest that Obi-Wan has ever seen him.
“Do you have any ideas?”
“About?”
“About where we would be,” he clarifies. “I would like to hear them, if you do.”
Cody’s mind races: We would be together. We would be somewhere beautiful, but anywhere would be beautiful with you. I would be wherever you are, for as long as you would let me. I would love you with no fear or obstacles and, in a perfect world, you would love me back.
None of that comes out. Instead, for some absurd reason, he says, “You’d be one of those old hermits that all the local children are afraid of. Always shouting at them to stay out of your garden.”
Obi-Wan averts his eyes. There’s a slight drop in his shoulders. He doesn’t let himself lapse for too long, meeting Cody’s eye again as he asks, “You couldn’t dare to imagine me outside of my usual robes?”
I’ve imagined you outside of them plenty. Cody swallows that thought down, too.
“They just suit you so well,” Cody says lightly, hoping to ease the tension.
Obi-Wan lets out an exaggerated sigh, his smile faintly returning. “I suppose that’s true. A lonely hermit is likely, I’m sure I’d be much too boring if I couldn’t use the Force.”
His addition of the word ‘lonely’ tugs at Cody’s heart. He isn’t sure how to address it without word-vomiting, so he decides to focus on ‘boring’ instead. “Oh, please, I could name hundreds of interesting things about you before that would even cross my mind.”
Obi-Wan blinks in surprise, tilting his head to the side. It saddens Cody. He sells himself so short—he’s so much more than his aptitude with the Force and his role in the Republic, and yet he feels that’s all he has to offer.
He wonders if anyone has ever actually told him that. He aches to think that no one has.
“You know, if you woke up tomorrow unable to use the Force, it wouldn’t change anything.” Obi-Wan gives him a bewildered look. Cody adjusts his phrasing. “Fine, it would change some things, but it wouldn’t change how I feel. I’d still follow you anywhere. I’d…” I’d leave this all behind in a heartbeat if you asked. “I don’t think you should sell yourself short.”
Obi-Wan searches his eyes. Cody wishes he knew what he was looking for; what if he’s searching for something that isn’t there? He isn’t sure he’s interesting enough to satisfy the miraculous mind of his Jedi.
Obi-Wan’s next words are so soft, Cody could cry. “And where would you be?”
“I’d be in the garden. Not that I know anything about gardening, but it sounds peaceful—giving back to nature, creating life instead of taking it.” After he gets it out, his words from just a minute before echo in his head: Your garden. He always pictures it as their garden. He wonders if Obi-Wan can hear the bearings of his soul that he keeps omitting.
If he does, he doesn’t mention it. “What do you imagine you’d grow?”
“I suppose it’d depend on what system it’s in.” Cody shrugs his shoulders, feeling self-conscious from the vulnerability of it all.
Obi-Wan leans forward, determined. That one strand of hair has fallen out of place, hanging over his right eye, the same as it always does. Cody imagines himself tucking it safely back into place.
“If that didn’t matter, if you could have anything—what would you pick?”
“An orange tree,” he answers, no hesitation. He tasted the fruit for the first time a few months back, having never even heard of them until one day when he came to Obi-Wan’s office to assist him with filing reports. He had a large gift basket of delicacies on his desk, and directly upon Cody’s entry, Obi-Wan floated an orange slice across the room to him. He had told him, ‘Try this, you’ll like it.’ There was such confidence in his statement that Cody had to try it immediately. His general obviously knew him well, because he found the taste sensational.
“You did love those oranges,” Obi-Wan’s expression is so fond, Cody isn’t sure he can take it. “Senator Amidala promised to bring more for us the next time she visits home.”
He remembered. Not only that, but Obi-Wan is not a fan of oranges; he offered Cody each one that he had. Which means he went out of his way to request more, specifically for him. ‘For us,’ he had said.
He pushes down the emotion it fills him with. Obi-Wan is a good friend. That’s what friends do.
So, he goes back to the garden. “And do you remember those flowers we saw back on Mandalore?”
“Ugh, those horrid things?”
“What?” Cody is affronted. “Don’t say that!”
“I’m sorry, dear, but they’re an absolute eyesore. Why not something like a candlewick flower?”
“They were not! And I don’t even know what that is. It sounds silly,” Cody adds the last bit in as a pitiful act of retaliation. No matter how interesting it may actually sound, Cody is not ready to cede on his taste in flowers, even if Obi-Wan is more cultured than he.
Obi-Wan’s eyes twinkle, delighted by the rise he’s getting out of Cody.
“Oh, I’ll have to show you one of these days. They glow quite beautifully.”
“They glow?” So much for that.
“They’re bioluminescent, darling, and very beautiful. They open up at night, showing off their gorgeous golden petals. And they shine phenomenally when they do.” Obi-Wan pauses for a beat. “Much like you.”
Cody isn’t sure what to do with that sentence. Darling. Much like you. Which part is much like him? Beautiful? Gorgeous? That can’t be right. Overwhelmed by the intensity of the eye contact, he averts his gaze to the night sky.
He hears shifting at his side. When Cody looks back over, Obi-Wan has moved. He now lies in the grass, his arms folded behind his head. His gaze meets Cody’s, and he moves one arm to pat the ground next to him.
“Join me, won’t you?”
Cody wishes he weren’t wearing his armor. Just this once, he wishes he could feel the lush grass brushing against his skin.
Something really has gotten into him tonight; before he can think twice about it, he’s unclasping the durasteel and stripping himself of his upper body armor.
“What are you doing?”
“I want to feel the grass,” Cody answers. He removes all the armor from his top half, lying each piece neatly by his side, then pulls up his sleeves. He’s missed out on too much, he will not miss out on this.
“I hope you have my back, General, I’m making myself pretty vulnerable here.”
He was vulnerable long before removing his armor, and they both know it.
“I always do.”
He really does. Always watching over him, always concerned with his safety, his health, his happiness. It’s unlike anything or anyone he had ever known. Obi-Wan is unlike anyone he’s ever known.
Cody gradually lays back into the grass at Obi-Wan’s side, knowing without a doubt that there is no place in the Universe he would rather be. Something about the stars fills him with such hope that the words are out of his mouth before he can second-guess himself.
“I’d grow tea leaves.”
Obi-Wan stays quiet for a moment. His voice is small when he replies, “But you don’t like tea.”
“No, I don’t.”
He can see Obi-Wan turn his head to look at him in his peripheral. Cody doesn’t dare look back, scared of what he might see.
“Can you point out the constellations?” Cody asks suddenly, hoping to ease any discomfort he may have caused with that sentence. Plus, he really does want to learn. Surely Obi-Wan won’t fault him for that.
Obi-Wan scoots closer to him, their shoulders touching. Cody holds his breath as Obi-Wan lifts his arm over them to point out constellations that decorate the night sky. He listens intently to the stories behind each one.
“And over there are the Lovers of Nyota,” Obi-Wan tells him.
Cody squints his eyes, trying to make out which stars he’s pointing to.
“To the East, lower to the horizon.”
Cody tries to point it out with his finger. Obi-Wan gently takes him by the wrist and moves his hand slightly over to the left.
“It’s the love that dares not speak its name.”
Cody risks a glimpse over at Obi-Wan, noting the melancholy that exudes from him.
“I thought all love was meant to be celebrated.”
Obi-Wan sighs, turning to face him with a sad smile. Their faces are merely inches apart now; Cody’s heart is racing at the proximity, daring to jump out of his chest and straight into Obi-Wan’s hands.
“Not everyone thinks the way you do.”
Cody looks back to the constellation.
“Who were they?”
“A princess and her handmaiden. Mira and Oriana. As the heir to the throne, Princess Mira carried a lot of expectations on her shoulders from a very young age. She had admiration, power, beauty, all the things she was told would make her happy, but she still felt trapped in her life. Until she met Oriana. Oriana joined the castle as one of Mira’s handmaidens, but Mira found her to be quite unlike the rest. Oriana brightened her world, showed her there was more to life than duty. It wasn’t long before the two fell madly in love. They were able to keep their love secret for a while, but when the King learned of their romance, he became infuriated. Mira’s expectations as a leader included marrying for politics, rather than love. Marrying a handmaiden would have been considered a horrible disgrace to the throne.
So, they made a plan to run away together. They were to meet at sunset, at the edge of the castle grounds. Mira waited for her love as the sun descended from the sky. But the sun faded away, and Oriana never showed. Mira waited until the sun returned to the sky, but it’s said that the sun never returned to her life. No one would tell her what happened to Oriana, though she knew it to be the work of her father. Legend says that only a few months later, Mira disappeared, never to be seen again.”
Cody frowns at the sky. “That’s depressing.”
“Life doesn’t always go the way we hope. There are different variations of the story: some say they found each other later in life, spending the rest of their mortal days together before ascending to the stars. Others say they reunited in the afterlife. Either way, in every story they come back together, and they get to spend eternity in each other’s arms. I find that to be rather beautiful.”
He considers this outlook. A few years apart is nothing in exchange for an eternity together.
“And you see, right there? That’s the way back to Coruscant.”
“Jate’kara,” Cody replies.
Obi-Wan hums thoughtfully. “Good stars.”
The way home, Cody thinks. Destiny. He doesn’t have to look to the stars to find it.
“Cody?”
“Hm?”
“For what it’s worth, in another life, I would have loved to be an old hermit with you.”
Cody’s brain short circuits. He chances a sideways glance at Obi-Wan, who is still looking at the sky. Had he imagined him saying that?
He swallows hard. “…Yeah?”
“Yeah.” There’s redness creeping up into Obi-Wan’s face. “We could build your garden, then plant rows and rows of orange trees, as far as the eye can see.” He waves his hand across the sky as he finishes his sentence, and Cody can see the trees in his mind’s eye.
Cody, gods help him, laughs at that. He can’t help it—this moment is too surreal. Here he is, enjoying the beauty of the stars and the comfort of the grass, discussing fantasies of another life with the only man he’ll ever love. His joy overflowing from him is inevitable.
Obi-Wan turns to him, his face lighting up in the process. No matter the time of day, or their place in the Universe, Cody never has to miss the sun. It lives in his Jedi’s smile, shining effervescently, warming every inch of Cody’s soul. What a wonderful gift it is for the sun to shine just for him.
It sweeps Cody up off of his feet. There’s no grounding himself now. “I’d still make you tea every morning,” he starts. Obi-Wan’s eyes are attentive, lapping up every word. “Except it wouldn’t be from a box, it would be fresh and homegrown. And you would drink it for leisure, not out of necessity. You wouldn’t have to worry about anything: not the war, not the Jedi Council, not maintaining anyone’s peace but your own.”
“We wouldn’t have to worry,” Obi-Wan softly corrects him. Cody’s heart soars.
“We wouldn’t have to worry,” Cody echoes, his throat tight. “And we could decide who we get to be, instead of someone else deciding for us.”
Cody is suddenly extremely aware of the proximity of their hands. The sequence of events has him feeling particularly bold, so he inches his hand over to close the space, their pinkies barely brushing against each other. Obi-Wan, much more courageous than he, places his hand over Cody’s. He gently strokes his thumb across the back of Cody’s hand. His eyes are still locked onto Cody’s, showing him that this is no accident; it’s purposeful, he decided it, and he has no intentions of pulling away. In fact, it seems like he’s moved even closer to Cody.
The moment ends much too soon. Obi-Wan sits up suddenly, his head turned back to the woods behind them. Cody follows suit, turned and ready with his hand on the hilt of his blaster long before he hears the footsteps heading their way.
“At ease,” Obi-Wan says under his breath, just audible enough for Cody to register. His readiness to attack fizzles out just as quickly as it arose. Obi-Wan climbs to his feet, and Cody follows his lead.
“General!” Boil’s voice bursts through the trees just before he does. He has a frantic expression that, for some reason, shifts into confusion when he looks at Cody. Cody isn’t sure why it makes him feel like he’s just been caught in a nefarious act.
Maybe it’s the fact that half of his armor is still laid out on the ground behind them.
“What is it, Boil?” Obi-Wan asks. Well, General Kenobi asks, ready to hear whatever important update the trooper has for them. Cody picks up on the aggravation he’s trying to disguise from his tone.
“It’s uh…” Boil looks back and forth between the two of them. “It’s nothing, Sir.”
There is absolutely no way he just barreled through the woods for nothing. There is no way he just ruined this…whatever this may have been for nothing. Cody is already imagining the grunt work he’s going to assign to the trooper upon their return.
“Are you positive? You seemed particularly anxious on your way over,” Obi-Wan presses.
“I, uh…” Boil hesitates again, and Cody hardens his glare at the man. He snaps into line. “I was under the impression the Commander was missing. Sirs.”
“Missing?” Cody speaks up for the first time. “Do I look missing to you?”
“Well, no Sir, but I–”
“Spit it out,” he snaps.
The sound of waves lapping against the shore enters Cody’s mind. He exhales through his nose, letting Obi-Wan silently wash away some of his tension. He keeps his glare on his trooper all the same.
Boil straightens his posture as much as humanly possible.
“Lieutenant Waxer ordered a walkthrough of the camp. I reported Commander Cody’s tent as empty, and he told me to come report it to you, General. Sir.”
So, it’s Waxer’s fault. Cody is under no impression that Waxer ever believed he was missing, not when he saw Cody leave with Obi-Wan.
They’re both on his list now. They’ll be cleaning the barracks for months.
“I was quite certain that I informed the Lieutenant that Commander Cody would be accompanying me, that must have been my mistake,” Obi-Wan tells him smoothly. All three of them know it’s a lie. Waxer very clearly saw Cody leave with Obi-Wan. Plus, Waxer and Boil are notorious for pranking each other, especially if it puts the other in uncomfortable situations such as this.
“My apologies, Sir,” Boil says quickly, grateful to be left off the hook so easily. However, he pointedly avoids Cody’s gaze, well aware that he is nowhere near as forgiving as their general.
“Report back, let him know we’re safe and will be returning to camp shortly,” Obi-Wan says.
“Sir!” Boil salutes, not chancing another look at Cody before turning on his heel and booking it back through the woods.
Cody tries to push down the dejected feeling as he reaches down to scoop his armor off the ground. The moment’s passed. They’re returning to camp. Returning to the roles that someone else decided for them.
Cody is better than this. He is reasonable, rational, collected. He needs to get a grip on himself.
“Looks like the garden is going to have to wait,” Obi-Wan says, the softness returned to his tone.
Cody looks up to find soft blue eyes watching his movement. He straightens up, clumsily fiddling with the armor on his shoulder.
“Another life?”
Obi-Wan closes the distance between them. He gently moves Cody’s hand away and takes it upon himself to straighten the armor on his shoulder. When he finishes, he looks up and stares at Cody so affectionately that he finds his heart racing once more, desperately reaching for Obi-Wan. He’s not sure it can take much else.
Obi-Wan leans in and presses a kiss to Cody’s cheek. When he pulls away, he takes Cody’s heart with him.
“I sure hope you don’t make me wait that long. Won’t you walk me back, my dear?”