Work Text:
Fate stares at me—With an unyielding gaze, an invitation to challenge it's rules. I know what the results will be, what losses I will bear. And yet, I chose to stand firm—I chose to defy—even if the fruits of my sacrifices may never bloom. Has never bloomed.
Here, loving you, holding you in my arms, is in itself an act of defiance against destiny written in the stars. I chose to adore you— to learn every part of you. What makes you laugh, what causes your smile to fade, I choose to learn it all knowing we will depart as the strangers we were once.
I could not help, but to love. To adore every soul I've met.
My heart aches, knowing the fact that far away there's a timer waiting for us. Every second that passes, signifies only the limited time I have with you.
I dread spending even a second without your presence within somewhere I can reach, but I know the day will arrive, sooner or later. Where you will be far away, far—and far—and further.
You will be beyond me, might be beyond this land, and beyond the skies that houses us. You will fly further than I can follow you.
I had once been a fool. I chose not to love you, because I was more afraid of the dread I'd have to face once you were gone. The sorrows I will bear all alone because you would not be there with me.
But I've grown. I've chosen to dread the regret that comes after I see that you have been gone. I regret that I have not chosen to love you when you were within my reach.
The stars sees this of me. This, cowardly, terrified part of me.
I was scared, with the fact that I'd have to reconcile with loneliness after we have departed. Your presence, was in all ways, always amazing. A blessing, a miracle; But it's the aftermath of the miracle I was once afraid of.
The drought of your presence scares me so much that I'd never dared to drink in your soul.
In an attempt to protect myself from hurt, I had isolated myself out of love. A foolish thing to do—but it is a foolish thing I once did that I falsely thought would protect me.
But.
Looking at you— loving you—was not only a defiance to the stars, but also an act of bravery. To resist my fears that I had long sowed.
I'd rather see you, my love, bloom then slowly withers away. Because I know I have been with you.
I would chose that any other day than to watch you wither away, departing from me, whilst I have never watched you bloom in all your glory.
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