Chapter Text
Prison Dimension
Age 16
The pain was fading. That had to be a bad sign, but Leo only felt relief. He'd been hurting for so long, from broken limbs and bleeding gashes. Kraang had a target for his rage and he wasn't letting up on Leo anytime soon. But even a mutagen-enhanced body with accelerated healing could only take so much. Leonardo Hamato was dying.
'Serves me right,' Leo thought as he watched Kraang descend from above. 'Nothing I've ever done was right. Even the good stuff I did was to fix stuff I broke in the first place. They're better off without me.' A silent tear slid down his cheek as the sadistic alien stalked closer.
Kraang said something, but Leo couldn't hear it. There was a ringing in his ears and everything was going dark. Colors were fading, leaving only the black of space and the silver of the Titan armor. Kraang leaned closer, a gleam in his eyes that normally would have Leo flinching. But now, he was too tired to care.
The alien lifted a clawed hand, and Leo knew this was it. Closing his eyes, he pulled up all his memories of his family, all the good ones. Raph's always perfect hugs, Mikey's delighted laughter at a prank gone right, Donnie's dorky smile when he forgot to be the 'emotionless badboy they all knew he wasn't. April's triumphant beam, holding her acceptance packet high to show it off, Splinter's rare warm smile. Maybe it was a weak act of defiance, but he wouldn't let Kraang be the last thing he saw.
'I'll be waiting with Gram-Gram everyone. I love you.'
And as razor sharp claws stabbed through his plastron, he felt no pain. He felt nothing as his life slipped away into darkness.
Leonardo Hamato was dead.
Underground Lair
Age 6
"Seriously, Dee, what's the big deal?" Leo reached over and poked Donnie right in the forehead. "Don't you wanna be my twin?"
"No, I do not!" Donnie grabbed Leo's hand and shoved it down, nearly sending the slider stumbling. "And no touching!"
Leo huffed a little, reaching up to fidget with his mask. He wore it on his head like a bandana because pirates were cool! Maybe even cooler than ninjas! "Why not?" he grumbled.
Donnie gave him one of the looks he hated, like he was telling Leo how stupid he was with just his eyes. "You're so stupid." And also his words. "There are 365.25 days in a year." Donnie pointed at the calendar that Dad had put on the wall, currently on December even though it was May. "Dad said we could pick any day to be our birthday! With so many days, you could have easily picked one that wasn't a holiday or a birthday that someone else had already picked!" The softshell angrily stomped his foot. "But instead, you-you-you dum-dum picked the same day as me! It was supposed to be my day! That I didn't have to share with anyone!" He angrily pointed at Leo. "WHY DID YOU PICK MY DAY, LEONARDO!?"
Leo swallowed hard, but said nothing. He couldn't say that he didn't want to have a separate birthday for everyone. They'd had one single birthday for years now before Dad decided it needed to be different. And Leo couldn't complain when his brothers got so excited, even if he really wanted to. He couldn't share a birthday with everyone because Mikey got to pick first and then Donnie picked and of course they picked different days. But then Leo remembered the last soap opera Dad had been watching and how an evil twin had appeared out of nowhere and Donnie had explained in his 'I know everything' voice about twins and Leo knew what to do!
He obviously couldn't pick Raph because Raph hadn't picked yet and besides, everyone knew Raph was the big brother and no one else. Leo could've picked Mikey, but Mikey was the baby and Leo definitely wasn't a baby. So he and Donnie could be stuck in the middle together and maybe they couldn't be the good and evil twins (because Donnie wasn't evil, even if he could be mean and bitey. But that was mostly when he was hungry.) But they could be the smart twin and the fun twin, because Leo was so much more fun than Donnie!
(And Leo would never admit it, but Donnie was so cool and if they were twins, then maybe that coolness would rub off on him. Not that Leo needed it, he was cool too! Just...a different cool than Donnie. Because Donnie didn't have to try and Leo tried so hard...)
But Leo couldn't say any of that. So he put on his best smile, the one he practiced in the mirror and lied. "Well, we're all brothers, but being twins is special. And aren't you lucky that I picked you to be special with me?" He tried to poke Donnie's cheek this time, but the softshell hissed and snapped at his finger. "Hey! Dad said no biting!"
Donnie let out one of his noises, the ones he made when he was so angry that he couldn't use any of the big words he loved. "You-you-you STUPID STUPID STUPID LEO!!!!" Leo's face fell; that was three 'stupids'. Donnie only said things in threes when he really really meant it. "WE'RE NOT TWINS! WE'LL NEVER BE TWINS. CHARLES DARWIN, WE AREN'T EVEN THE SAME SPECIES!!!"
"B-but-" Leo tried to argue, but Donnie wasn't listening. He threw up his hands and began pacing in circles.
"All I wanted was one day, one day, to only be about me. But nooooo," Donnie dragged the word out in disgust. "You just had to try and take it like you always do with everything!"
"I...I..." This wasn't going how Leo wanted. He'd thought that Donnie wouldn't care. (He'd hoped that Donnie would like the idea of being Leo's twin. Maybe even smug that Leo picked him while Mikey and Raph would beg to be Leo's pick instead...) "I-"
"And even if I wanted a twin, which I don't," Donnie whirled and pointed directly at Leo. "I'd pick Raph, or Mikey, or literally anyone else in the world before I picked you!"
Leo was mad. He was mad now. (He wasn't, but if he let himself not be mad, then he'd start crying. And Donnie always panicked when faced with tears and then Raph would come and Mikey would start crying and it was just better for everyone if Leo was mad.) So he turned on his heel and stomped off towards his room. "Fine! Then I'll just ask Mikey or Raph if they want to be cool and be twins with me!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!" Leo tugged his curtain shut behind him, (it would have been cooler with a door, but no one really had those), and then he let the mask of anger fade. Shoving his hands into his mouth to try and stop the sniffles, he fell back onto his bed. Leo fumbled with one arm until he was able to snag Skye, the teddy bear he'd gotten to keep because of its blue fur. He buried his face in Skye's stomach and fought to keep from crying. Raph and Dad were out dumpster diving, but there was no way that Mikey hadn't heard the fight and he could never keep his mouth shut. So Leo couldn't be crying when his dad or big brother came to check on him later. He had to be mad, because that's what they expected.
He'd probably have to give up his twin idea now. (Now that Leo thought about it, he really didn't want to be anyone's twin other than Donnie's anyways.) He'd have to pick a different birthday and then listen to Donnie's stilted apology. (Not because Donnie wouldn't be sincere, but because he always sounded stilted when trying to say things exactly right like apologies.) And Leo would have to pretend he wasn't hurt, that he didn't care at all, because he was cool. So cool.
A whimper slipped out and Leo bit his lip to keep quiet. 'I'm not cool at all.' He could admit that to himself, alone in his room with just Skye. He wasn't the big brother, the strong one who could do anything and who Dad trusted, like Raph. He wasn't the smart brother, the one who started reading first and taught the others and who knew almost everything and was already starting mechanical repairs around the lair, like Donnie. He wasn't the baby brother, who was smaller and cuter and who somehow knew exactly who needed a hug or a pretty drawing to cheer them up on a bad day, like Mikey. Leo was just...just...
"You think you've won, YOU WRETCHED LITTLE PEST! "
Leo froze. That...where did that come-
"You're impulsive, you're arrogant, and you don't see that every decision you make could cost someone their life! "
"Wha-" The room was starting to spin, even though Leo was lying down, and his head was starting to hurt really really bad. "He-"
"WIPE THAT GRIN OFF YOUR FACE! "
Leo opened his mouth to scream, but nothing came out as he was suddenly hit by pain. It radiated through him, from the tip of his toes to the top of his head. His eyes rolled back in his head, and everything went black.
Leo's Bedroom
10 minutes later
Leo suddenly sat up, gasping for air and clutching at Skye like he was a lifeline. He rocked back and forth, shaking and crying silent tears. 'Square breathing,' some tiny part of him thought. 'Focus on the square. Blue square, hold your breath for four seconds.' Still rocking, still crying, Leo tried to focus. Slowly, he managed to calm his breathing, slow his heartbeat. Eventually, he was even able to think.
'Was...was that the future. My future?' Leo bit his lip and choked back a sob. He would die. He was going to die, he was going to die all alone in the dark, Leo didn't want to die, he wanted- Squeezing Skye tighter, Leo forced himself to take a deep breath. Calm. He had to stay calm.
That big...thing in the metal armor... (Kraang, his mind whispered) was coming. And he would try to take over the world and he would kill Leo when Leo was...16. That was only 10 years away! Leo thought 10 years was a lifetime away half an hour ago (even longer than he'd been alive), but now it wasn't enough. Not nearly enough. "I...I have to tell Dad," Leo told Skye, making to get up, only to freeze.
It was his fault. He knew that, knew that as surely as he knew his name. Kraang would get out and hurt his family because Leo messed up. Messed up like he always did. Because now that his head wasn't hurting so much, Leo was starting to...remember. (Did it count as remembering if Leo hadn't gone through it yet? It felt like it though.)
Leo making a portal with a cool magic sword that sent his brothers far away where he couldn't find them. Leo begging a weird fish with legs (Piebald, mutated,) not to kill his family because he was the one who flushed her. Leo getting screamed at by Donnie for hurting his ankle because Leo wanted to win something so badly. Leo getting told by Raph he would haunt Leo for the rest of his life if he kept them trapped in...a maze of some kind? Leo getting a collar that shocked him every time he made a joke because Donnie wanted him to stop. Leo blowing a kiss to his dad and saying he loved him and Dad knocking it away. Leo getting scolded by Raph again for not listening and being reckless and nearly getting everyone killed. Leo losing a key and failing to get it back. Leo letting the Kraang get out.
"My fault," Leo whispered, falling onto his back with Skye cuddled close. "All my fault. All my fault." No wonder Donnie would pick everyone other than him to be his twin. No wonder that no one wanted to spend time with him. Leo...the Leo he would become...no one liked him. And honestly, Leo couldn't blame them one bit. Everything was his fault, had to be his fault... 'Wait. Isn't this like Jupiter Jim XVII?' Leo's eyes widened as he dove for the new comic he'd thrown aside.
In this issue, Jupiter Jim had been sent to the past by a temporal wormhole (Leo didn't really get that part) and had to relive the worst day of his life, that he really messed up. But now that he knew the future, Jupiter Jim was able to change everything and save everyone. And then when Red Fox had used her super smarts to recreate the accident and bring him back, the future had changed. The bad thing had never happened.
"I can fix this." Leo's expression turned into a smile. "I can fix everything!" Because everything bad that happened in the future was clearly Leo's fault. Leo was the problem. So if Leo changed, if he was better at fighting, better at listening, better at being a friend and a son and a brother, then everything would be better! Jupiter Jim had saved the future in less than a day, Leo had 10 whole years to do better!
'And they'd never have to know, right?' His family would never have to know how much of a screw-up Leo was if he fixed everything now! Sure, maybe they'd talk in the future about how bad and awful Leo was as a kid, but then they'd go, 'Look at him now. Look at how great he is. Aren't we so happy to have him as a brother? Don't we love him?' They'd never know how badly Leo had messed up, that Leo had ruined the future. Leo was good at secrets, he could keep this one easy!
Carefully, Leo stood on his toes to place the comic high on his shelf. He hadn't liked it much before, but he knew better now. He'd keep it there as a reminder that Leo could change the future. He would! He had to.
(He hoped that he wouldn't make it worse like he always did.)