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It turns out it was a really bad idea.
"This was a really bad idea," Lan Jingyi says as the sun begins to peek above the horizon.
Jin Ling stares at him in disbelief. "What do you mean it was a bad idea?" he demands, outraged. "You don't get to say that! It was your idea!"
"And you went along with it!" Lan Jingyi says, pointing an accusing finger at him. "Why would you do that? That was such a bad idea!"
As Jin Ling splutters in response, Lan Sizhui sighs and exchanges a rueful glance with Ouyang Zizhen. Or, well, he tries to. Zizhen is too busy wringing his hands and trying not to panic.
"Maybe he won't notice," Ouyang Zizhen says faintly. He looks a little like a ghost in the dawn light creeping over him. It doesn't help that he looks so terrified.
"He's going to notice," Jin Ling says, and Lan Sizhui, unfortunately, has to agree. It's a little difficult not to. The horn is really conspicuous, for one thing.
There's no hiding that horn.
"Maybe he won't mind," Ouyang Zizhen tries. "Little Apple makes a great unicorn!"
"He's going to mind," Jin Ling says with a glare. "He dotes on that dumb donkey. And look at him now!"
He gestures grandly at the scene before them. The unicorn that was once a small grey donkey just snorts in confusion and tosses his head, brilliant long mane streaming in the wind. He doesn't seem to know quite what to do with his longer legs and taller body.
It makes him look a little bit like a colt trying to learn how to walk.
"I thought you said you followed Wei-gongzi's template exactly," Ouyang Zizhen wails.
"I did!" Lan Jingyi says. He reaches frantic hands into his robes and pulls out a handful of talismans. "Look! They're exactly like he showed us."
Jin Ling leans over to pluck one of the talismans from Lan Jingyi's hand, peering at it distrustfully. Lan Sizhui also reaches out to take one and then slowly frowns.
They are exactly like Wei Wuxian's talismans. A little too like Wei Wuxian's talismans, in fact.
"Jingyi," he said slowly. "Wei-gongzi has the worst penmanship at the Cloud Recesses."
Lan Jingyi frowns. "So? Everyone knows that."
"So," Lan Sizhui says, "sometimes his talismans only work for him, because they look like gibberish to everyone else."
Jin Ling crumples the talisman in his hand. "Which is why Little Apple is now a unicorn instead of simply being clean."
"This was such a bad idea," Ouyen Zizheng says, covering his face. "Wei-gongzi entrusted us with Little Apple while he was away. What are we supposed to tell him when he gets back?"
"I was just trying to speed things up," Lan Jingyi protests forlornly.
"You just didn't want to give him a bath," Jin Ling accuses.
"Did you want to give him a bath?" Lan Jingyi demands, and with a glare, Jin Ling falls noticeably silent.
"We need to stop arguing," Lan Sizhui tells them. They only have a couple of days before Wei Wuxian returns from his night hunt. "The most important thing right now is that we figure out how to turn Little Apple back into a donkey." He strokes Little Apple's neck, and the donkey—er, unicorn—leans into the comfort in relief.
"I'm sure there has to be a talisman for that," Lan Jingyi says desperately, beginning to rifle through the stack he'd copied from Wei Wuxian.
(Three minutes later, when a small brown turtle is sitting on the ground peering up at them, Jin Ling burns all the talismans to ash.)