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They stood facing one another, neither of them moving but both of them feeling their bond working to tug them even closer, like an unbreakable string pulled taut between their hearts. They stayed as still as they could, though their chests heaved and their hearts pounded harder than they could remember them ever having done before. One drum chasing after another.
They both knew that if either of them moved any more than that, they would both give in and crash together, never to let go again.
They wanted to, both of them, they knew that about themselves and each other, but they were both also afraid to, somehow, and they knew that about themselves and each other, too.
Daniel was the first to break the silence.
“Is... Is this real?”
It felt like it couldn’t be. Like a dream or a mirage, even though they could feel each other in their bones and cells and atoms.
Armand’s voice was soft when he replied, as if he feared that even speaking too loudly might burst their bubble and reveal that they were still in separate locations, alone. And he did fear it, a little. “It is.”
“You’re here?”
“I am.”
Daniel’s face crumpled and sadness washed over their bond. “I’m so fucking mad at you.”
“I know.”
Daniel’s anger flared, briefly overshadowing his sadness and longing and the need to throw himself into Armand’s arms. “You see, I don’t think you do.”
“I do,” Armand insisted, still in that quiet tone of voice. It hurt him to feel how much he had hurt his fledgling. “I can feel it.”
Daniel couldn’t argue with that. If Daniel could feel Armand as strongly as he had, of course Armand could feel him, too, just as intensely.
“Can you feel all the rest, too?” Daniel asked, though he already knew the answer.
Armand nodded. “I do.”
“I don’t understand.” Daniel’s voice cracked a little as he said it, and he hated that, a little. But it was no use trying to pretend, because Armand already knew how he felt. And he knew how Armand felt. And they both knew how this would end.
Daniel just didn’t understand why they both felt like this. It made no sense to him. “I don’t understand why I want you this much. Why I...love you.”
He also didn’t understand why that admission made Armand look and feel as sad as he did, and that only heightened Armand’s sadness, because the fact that Daniel didn’t understand was all his fault (though Daniel didn’t know that).
“Perhaps...” Armand offered. “Perhaps I could help you understand?”
Hope. From both of them. Want, and a need to be wanted in return.
“Does that mean you’ll stay?” Daniel asked.
“I’ll stay as long as you need me to. As long as you want me to.”
Those were two very different things, and offering them both was frightening. What if Daniel stopped wanting his maker before he stopped needing him? How would Armand look after him then? Would he be able to consign himself back to lurking from the shadows? Impossible.
“I might need and want you to for a very long time,” Daniel said, which was frightening to admit as well.
“Then I’ll stay for a very long time.”
Could it really be that simple? Right now it felt like it might be.
“And you feel the same?” Daniel asked.
“I do. I love you.”
“Fuck, Armand,” Daniel said. He was close to tears, and so was Armand.
“I’m here, my darling.”
They stopped fighting the pull of their bond simultaneously and they were on each other in an instant, embracing, holding on so, so tight, nails digging into backs, faces buried into necks, breathing each other in.
Armand stroked the back of Daniel’s head and repeated over and over that he was there, that Daniel need never feel alone again, while Daniel sobbed into the side of his neck.
“Let me look at you,” Armand said softly.
Daniel shook his head, clutching the back of Armand’s coat even more tightly, his refusal not about letting his maker see his face, but about having to move away from him even one millimeter in order to make that happen.
“Please, beloved. I have to see you.”
After a few seconds, Daniel nodded, and pulled back far enough for Armand to look into his face, keeping their bodies pressed as tightly together as he could.
Red tears streaked Daniel’s face, hot and long held back. Armand wiped some of them away with the back of his fingers. “You’re beautiful.”
“I missed you so much,” Daniel whispered.
“I know. I’ve missed you, too.”
“Then why did you leave?” There was no anger in Daniel’s voice, no accusation, just sadness and a deep-seated need to understand.
“Because I was afraid.”
It had seemed like sufficient reason at the time. Now it seemed laughable. Clearly the only thing that could assuage Armand’s fears was to keep Daniel as close to him as possible.
“So was I.”
Tears were streaming from Armand’s eyes too now. “I know. I’m so sorry, beloved. I will do better.”
“Me too,” Daniel promised.
Armand continued stroking Daniel’s face. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“I don’t know. Been kinda acting out lately. Pissed off about 98% of the vampire population.”
“Understandable at your age.”
Daniel laughed through his tears. As if Armand hadn’t killed hundreds of fledglings for the simple crime of existing, let alone writing a tell-all bestseller that had sold nearly eight million copies. And he was calling Daniel a toddler!
“Fuck you,” Daniel laughed, and Armand laughed, too. What a joy it was to have his Daniel casually swearing at him again.
“Your behaviour has been less than ideal,” Armand conceded. “But you have nothing to apologise for. I like it well enough, how you’ve turned out.”
Daniel buried his face in Armand’s neck again, and Armand buried his face in Daniel’s.
They stood there, who knows how long – time didn’t have much meaning anymore – and luxuriated in their embrace. They didn’t speak but simply let their emotions flow freely between them.
Longing and belonging and love, and an overwhelming sense of finally being whole again.
“Will you take me home with you?” Daniel asked at some point.
“Of course.”
Daniel didn’t know where ‘home’ was, didn’t yet remember what it used to mean to them, but he knew that it was where he wanted to go with Armand, and Armand knew that it was where he wanted to take Daniel.
And they both knew that they were already more than halfway there, now that they were back in each other’s arms.