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From the beginning, he recognized the kind of person he was: cruel, insensitive, and selfish, even with those he cared about, only concerned with his easily Destroyable facade.
Those around him had made sure to remind him of this every chance they got. His best and first example was... Ribbit.
Ribbit was one of the first people in the circus to make him feel as comfortable as possible, including him in his group with Kaufmo. Kaufmo was also a good guy, though he found it hard to believe; he found him funny, friendly, and genuinely kind to both of them.
For the first time, Jax felt loved.
Those afternoons spent drinking hot chocolate, on team adventures, having funny conversations, and playing games were etched in Jax's mind. They were such fun moments between the three of them. So much so that he hated not being able to get them out of his head.
The breaking point in their friendship had come the moment he confided in Ribbit, revealing the secret he intended to carry until his dying day. He'd been a [#$&@], an incredibly [#$&@] one to her. He couldn't understand how he'd "fallen" so quickly for Ribbit's comforting words.
But he understood that he'd destroyed the only good thing he had in his life.
The argument on the frozen mountain was what he regretted most, though it pained him to admit it. He hadn't wanted to yell at Ribbit, to hurt her, but he'd dared to do it anyway, dragging her toward a death with no turning back.
And it wasn't enough with just her; he did the same to Kaufmo. he made him believe he was crazy, that he was alone, and even though he had everyone around him as friends, it was obvious he missed him and Ribbit. And finally, he abstracted too.
His mind couldn't take it anymore.
No matter how hard he tried to dehumanize everything around him and even himself, to avoid friendships and treat everyone like mere characters in a cliché, he simply couldn't go on with his normal life. He couldn't be the same again.
And Pomni definitely made sure to remind him of that.
That damn jester with baby face—he didn't understand what attracted him to her in the first place. She was so... like them... Her red cheeks and big eyes, and the fact that she technically shared the same color palette as Kaufmo, wasn't helping. And she was as stubborn as Ribbit, trying to fix him, trying to understand him.
If it was impossible to understand himself, how could anyone else ever be?
And it wasn't really that it was impossible, but rather that he never made the effort. He realized this the moment he became abstracted.
Even in that trance, he couldn't achieve the peace of mind he so desperately needed; perhaps he never would, or perhaps he didn't even deserve it.
"I didn't want to leave..."
God, he sounded so pathetic, sobbing, hiccuping, and sniffling like a little girl. And what broke him the most was that even so, Pomni was there, clinging to him, letting him be so vulnerable.
"Then stay..."
And finally, that was the last time he heard Pomni, so serene and sweet with him.
Everything became so bright in just a second.
The sun's rays struck his face, so warm on his skin, a comforting sensation he didn't think he needed. Her surroundings were now filled with flowers, green grass, and the sky was so blue to her eyes.
Where was he supposed to be?
His answer didn't take long to arrive, when he heard voices in the distance that sent a shiver down his spine. They sounded so familiar.
He scanned the area, noticing he wasn't alone on this strange map. There was a multitude of strange figures at what looked like a picnic, with such varied designs, and he suspiciously recognized them from somewhere. the abstracted characters doors.
Near the crowded area stood a tall woman, shaped like a brown queen chess piece, wearing a red robe so similar to the one worn by the madman in Kinger. She seemed to be watching two people running through the grass.
And when he saw them, he felt his heart stop.
It was them.
Playing and laughing as before.
He watched for a while as they continued playing and enjoying themselves as if he had never entered their lives. It was what they deserved from the start.
There came a moment when they both tripped over the same rock on the path and fell into the vegetation, instantly mocking each other, while the chess piece stifled a small laugh. Somehow, he smiled too, seeing them so happy.
He didn't notice when the frog sat down in the grass and looked around, still laughing, searching for Queenie. She inadvertently discovered that someone new had joined the group.
And in that instant, her laughter stopped.
Apparently, Kaufmo had noticed her reaction, and he too sat down in the grass, discovering that he had silenced Ribbit, and he too fell completely silent. They were watching him.
"You're here."
The frog said aloud, her pupils narrowing with each word. Jax noticed it instantly, and his heart told him in a thousand different ways that he shouldn't be there.
"I..." the bunny murmured, his hands trembling and his feet starting to back away. No, he couldn't, he shouldn't, he didn't deserve to have them back, not after hurting them in every way he could.
I have to go.
He turned to start running instantly, but two hands pulled him back just as he thought he could escape. His gaze sought the obvious, looking so close at those people he so longed to have again, clinging to his arms to prevent him from escaping.
He wanted to scream at them to let go, to get away from him, that he didn't need to be comforted like a baby. But what if that was what he wanted right now?
His legs gave way, abandoning the idea of running.
"W-why..." he had to stifle a sob, "W-why are our holding me like it's not my fault you're here?"
"Why are you two making things so difficult for me?"
There was no answer, but he felt their grip tighten. Jax's eyes welled up at the feeling, his fists clenched, and he tried to struggle slightly, but that grip now became an embrace.
"W-why won't you two let go of me?... You were so happy before I got here." Tears began to fall down his cheeks, his gaze fixed on the ground, as if that would prevent him from seeing the two pairs of feet behind him.
"Because you're our friend."
He was reaching his limit again.
Tears continued to flow, trying to sob silently as if it were truly worth pretending even now. His face turned toward the two characters; they weren't angry with him. Why weren't they angry? He was seeing that expression again.
That expression that conveyed such serenity.
[#$*@], Pomni was definitely so much like them...
"Jax..."
Her pupils narrowed at Ribbit's voice, his arms wanting to wrap around them again, but he still refused. Ribbit's eyes also welled up, burying his face in Jax's shoulder.
He was making her cry, making her cry again.
"We missed you so much."
.
.
.
This was the end of his mask.
Finally, he began to sob uncontrollably. Nothing else mattered anymore. His arms wrapped around the clown and the frog with the same strength they had shown him. The tears felt like a release, a release he had needed for so long. His knees betrayed him and let him fall to the ground, but even so, they didn't let go of him.
He could hear Kaufmo and Ribbit starting to cry too, not with the same intensity as him. But they were definitely trying to release all their pent-up emotions.
"I thought I'd never see you again..." the rabbit sobbed, sniffling childishly. "I thought I didn't need you until it was too late..."
"Well, we're here for you," Kaufmo said, wiping the tears from his eyes. "You don't have to worry about silly things..."
"Kaufmo's right," Ribbit said, pulling away from Jax for a moment. They hand went to her chest, where the small red bow was; she could still take it off.
He felt Ribbit's hand on his head, fastening the small accessory behind his ear, just like that day in her room.
It brought back such bad memories and that feeling of guilt.
But he didn't have to care.
"You don't have to punish yourself anymore."
His eyes flicked to the bun, mirroring the same expression he'd had the first time«his eyes so bright and his cheeks flushed» He also glanced at the two figures who were offering him such genuine smiles.
"Your secret is still safe.."
Damn it, he didn't deserve them.
He wanted to hug them again, but he no longer had the strength. He saw Ribbit wipe her eyes with The palm to clear they tears and stand up. She extended they hand to Jax, inviting him to get up.
"Come on... Let's join the others. They'll want to meet you." Ribbit smiled at him, and Jax, hearing him, took his hand to help him up. The warmth of Ribbit's touch was something he didn't plan on missing. The clown patted him on the shoulder, smiling sincerely.
The woman, shaped like a chess piece, had been watching the whole scene. Her eyes narrowed tenderly as she looked at the boy (or girl) The one her "little ones"were so fond of. She felt happy for them, Knowing how much Ribbit and Kaufmo wanted Jax back in their group.
Jax didn't have to worry anymore, not ever again.