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    Summary

    Shane tangles their fingers together in the dying evening light. He brushes little kisses along Ilya's thumb absentmindedly as he seemingly focuses on the trees in the backyard. "You're good with them," he finally murmurs. Ilya grunts.

    "The kids. You were good with them today. Like I think they might want your jersey over Hayden's for Christmas." The snort leaves him before he can reign it in, and Shane elbows him. "I'm serious. I… I really liked watching you with them. And the kids from the pool at All-stars last year? It makes you think, you know."

    It takes everything he has not to turn to stone right there on the couch.

    "Shane—" he sighs.

    Shane rolls over to face him full on. "Do you want to have kids?"

    And all Ilya can do is swallow back the confession a decade in the making. Shane does not understand the landmine he has stumbled upon. Does not realize he holds a knife to the stitches keeping Ilya's deepest wound closed.

    But his moment of reckoning has come. Tears fall silently as he tries to think of a way to tell his boyfriend that he had a son, but he was never a father. That if they did ever have a child, there would always be the one that came before.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
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