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“Is mommy going to be there?” Grace propped her elbows up, covered in the comforter as her father set her second glass of water on her bedside table. The small lamp beside her shining bright as she moved closer to him, wanting to hug her father as he sat on the edge, careful not to crush her legs.
“Why would we go somewhere without Mommy?” Aaron asked, watching as Grace pouted, something so Haley it almost hurt.
“Well, daddy, last week we went to that donut shop without her.”
“That was a surprise. We were surprising Mommy.”
“Oh.” Grace readjusted, nodding a little, pretending that she understood. “Okay. And I got that really good pink donut.”
“Yes. And we got Mommy that coffee she liked.”
Grace smiled. She had picked out a donut for Haley, waiting by the door after she got home from her errands, running into her arms as she handed her the coffee. “So you and Mommy will be there tomorrow?”
He had class first thing in the morning, 7:00 sharp. Aaron already planned on postponing that. His daughter only began Kindergarten once in her life. “To drop you off, yes. But remember how Daddy also has to go to school?”
“Mhm. ‘Cause you’re gonna argue with people all day long soon.”
Aaron actually laughed at that. “Who told you that, Gracie?”
She takes a sip of her water, ice cold. “No one. I just figured that out myself. Momma says you’re going to be a Lawyer.”
“In a couple of years, Grace.” Aaron gently moved a piece of hair behind her eyes as Haley stood in the doorway. “I won’t ever argue with you or Mommy, love bug.”
“I would win.”
“Yes you would.”
“Mommy, too.”
“You always let mommy win.”
“‘Cause she’s the best, daddy.” Aaron looks up at Haley as Grace’s eyes flutter close, unable to lick the smile off his lips. Haley blushed as she waved.
“The best.” Aaron agreed, eyes locked on Haley as he kissed his daughter’s head. “Goodnight, Grace. We love you.”
She’s already out, holding onto her stuffed animal tight as Aaron turned off the lamp, walking towards the door as he kissed Haley’s lips, moving her away so he could close the door. “Hi.” Aaron says, in between kisses.
“I missed you.” Haley replied, her hands finding his waist almost immediately. Effortlessly strolling his hands through her hair. “How was class?”
“Long. Boring. How was pilates?”
Haley sighs and Aaron can feel her lean into him. “One of the girls asked if I was pregnant.”
“What? Haley, you’re in the best shape of your life.”
“I know. I know. I know.”
She repeats herself endlessly. But Aaron knows she doesn’t actually mean it. If anything, she’s too skinny, skipping meals while he’s away at college.
“Why’d she say that?” He asked, not because he wants to hear their side of the story, but because he wants to know who he has to hurt.
“I keep Gracie’s old sonogram in my backpack. It must have fallen out when I was changing my shirt and I didn’t notice. They all kept laughing at me and saying I couldn’t keep up anymore.”
“And you didn’t want to correct them?”
“Not everyone is supportive, Aaron. I got pregnant when I was eighteen. People fucking hate me. You — You…” Haley runs out of steam, unable to say it. You hated me.
“Sweetheart.”
“I didn’t know how to tell them about Grace, okay? I’m ashamed that I feel so bad about it and I love her so much…”
“You’re protecting her, baby.”
She laughed, it doesn’t feel like that at all. “I need a new fucking pilates class.” It sounds so ridiculous leaving her lips, crinkling a hand through her hair as she tried to stride away from him, walking fast as she moved into the kitchen. Aaron followed her. He would to the ends of the earth. “I need a drink.”
“Haley.”
“All of them, Aaron.” She turned, eyes facing him as a tear swam down her porcelain cheeks. “Every single one of them looked at me differently once they saw it. Can you imagine what would happen if they knew about Grace?”
“You’re not that young, Haley. We didn’t throw our lives away to raise her.”
She gets a kick out of that, grabbing a glass, taking a swing back at him and then grabbing another one. She grabs the bottle of whiskey for him and wine for her, pouring his first as she hands it over. Aaron shakes his head, he doesn’t want to be drunk while having this conversation. “I’m 23, Aaron. 23 with a daughter that starts Kindergarten tomorrow. Do you really think when we walk in there people won’t judge us?”
He hadn’t thought about that. Aaron had an endless list of things that needed to get done before then. Laundry. Dishes, his homework, making sure she has enough to eat for dinner. Hopefully not Grace’s hair — he’s never been good at Grace’s hair. Unlike Haley, the judgement does eat away at him. It’s rare, but the occasional mention of his daughter flies over his peers head, saying they can’t study at his house because she’d get too excited and want to meet all of them. “We’re married, Haley.”
“Not when we had her.”
“Did your Mom call?” Aaron questioned, turning his head at a certain angle, trying to understand her in a different light. “Baby, is that why you’re so upset?”
“You know she doesn’t talk to me anymore. Not after having a child out of wedlock.” Haley takes another sip of her drink, longer that time, not savoring like she had before, just hoping it would do something.
“But she’s the only one who can upset you like this.”
“I’m fine, Aaron.” Haley brushes him off, not letting him touch her as she tried to move back to the bedroom. “I’m sorry for ruining your evening. I know you have homework.”
“I don’t care about my homework, Haley. I care about you. What’s bothering you? Is it Grace?”
She’s quiet. Suddenly small and letting the wine sit out as she sobbed. “Haley.” Aaron breaks, rushing to her side as he hugged her.
“Do you think she already hates me?”
“What?”
“Last time someone found out, it was that girl from my internship.” The one that fell through. “And she told me that my child probably resented me and secretly hated me because I had no clue what I was doing.” She shifted further into his chest, “What if Grace hates me?”
“Haley. She’s five. I honestly don’t even think she knows how to hate someone.”
“You hated your dad when you were her age.”
Aaron froze. Haley saw it but was too busy trying to fix her breathing to know any better. “He deserved it, Haley. But we’re nothing like our parents. Grace loves us. She loves you. You were in the shower after she woke up the second time, and she would not stop asking for you, Haley. She even said in her cute little voice, where’s my best friend Mommy? Is she okay?”
“You’re just trying to cheer me up.”
“Is it working?”
“A little.”
“Hey. I know something else that would work.” He leaned forward, saddled his palms against her lower back. His lips find hers as she smiled. Aaron could feel it as he deepened the kiss, unable to hear little footsteps coming from the hallway.
“Is that Mommy?” Grace asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as Aaron’s pupils widened, pulling away from Haley as she laughed. A look of horror gargantuan on her eyes as Grace waved, answering her own question, “It is Mommy!”
“Baby.” It’s not her, but Aaron, trying to scoop her up and get her back to bed. “Grace, it’s late.”
“Hi, sweetheart.” Haley picked her up, almost too big to settle on her hip. “What are you still doing up?”
“I’m really scared, Mommy.”
“About what, lovebug?”
“What if I don’t make any friends?”
“Of course you’ll make friends, honey.” Haley tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “Everyone will love you Gracie-girl.”
She shrugged, unconvinced. “Can I maybe… sleep in your room tonight?”
Haley shared a glance towards Aaron as he smiled, stepping back in, gently kissing Grace’s hair. “Sure.”
“I always sleep better next to mommy.” Grace explained.
“Me too.” Aaron says, kissing Haley on the cheek as she blushed. “Do you need another glass of water?”
Grace shook her head. “No thank you, daddy.”
Haley prided herself on her daughter’s kindness, watching as she extended her arm out to Aaron, wanting to be in his embrace on the short walk over to their bedroom.
“What if they hate me?”
“Sweetheart. We’re just dropping her off. It’s not like this is a job interview. You don’t have to pretend to impress anyone.”
“Do you think my outfit is too slutty?”
Aaron takes one last look at her as Grace sat in the backseat, so excited she didn’t know what to do with herself. “Not in the slightest, Hales. It’s a dress.”
“But it’s kind of tight.”
“And you look beautiful.”
“It doesn’t scream that I’m a teen parent?”
“Former teen parent.” Aaron says, leaning over the center console to kiss her. “I love you.”
She looks back to Grace, calming herself down as she holds onto her lunchbox. “I love you too.”
“Are you ready Gracie-girl?” Aaron asked, turning the car off and unbuckling so he could walk around and help her.
Her response is a yell and a bright smile. Aaron unlocks her door and she all but runs out of the car once unbuckled. “Yes, daddy.”
He helps her out, holding onto her hand as he slammed the door. “Should we get Mommy?”
Grace nodded as Aaron walked around to Haley’s door, opening it for her as he put out his free hand. Haley rolls her eyes, “Why are you the nicest guy on the planet, Aaron?”
“Haley, I get to spend the morning with my two favorite people instead of being trapped in a four hour lecture.”
“I could have opened the door myself. I’m fully capable.”
“I know, honey.”
“Are you guys arguing?” Grace looked up, a thick stuck on her parents as Aaron laughed.
“No.”
“So why are you not being nice.”
“Grace. Daddy’s being nice.”
“Extremely.” Aaron says, under his breath.
“Oh. Well I thought you were maybe doing your lawyer thing already.” Grace moved quickly, skipping as Aaron stopped her, letting the car pass as she frowned.
“Not for a while, Grace.”
“Okay. I’d be a really good lawyer.”
Haley snorted, but Aaron wanted to hear her reasoning as he held the door open for his girls. “And why is that Gracie?”
“Because I always would win, daddy.”
Haley can’t help herself, laughing as she leaned into Aaron. He didn’t say much back, just smiled down at his daughter, agreeing. “Yes you would, Grace.”
She stopped in front of him as Aaron almost stumbled over himself. Grace frowned, peering into the classroom as her excitement stopped. Her teacher waved as she moved behind Haley, hiding beneath her legs. Aaron smiled up at the young woman as Haley gently rubbed Grace’s back. “Don’t wanna go.” Grace announced, sniffling as she hid.
Haley kneeled, hugging her daughter as she buried her head into her chest. “Grace. We’re coming with you. We won’t leave until you feel comfortable.”
“But Daddy has to go.”
“He’s not going anywhere, baby.”
“But what if no one likes me?”
“Grace, you won’t know that until you meet anyone.” Haley looked inside as Aaron apologized to her teacher, getting dismissed as she laughed. Aaron felt his stomach flip as Haley watched him, anxious. “Bug, they’re all playing with their toys, don’t you want to bring your barbie and join them?”
“My barbie can come?”
“Of course she can, love.”
“And you comin’ too?”
“Daddy as well.”
Grace shrugged. “Okay, mommy… But you get to go first.”
Haley smiled, hugging her tight as she stood tall, stick holding Grace’s hand as Aaron shook her teacher’s hand, introducing himself and Haley as Grace closed her eyes.
“She’s a little nervous.” Aaron said. “But she’s very excited to be here.”
“Everyone’s a little nervous on their first day, Mr. Hotchner.”
Grace took a small step forward as she gasped, pointing to the group of girls playing barbie’s as she let go of Haley’s hand, giving her mother the small backpack as she grabbed her doll and sat down, introducing herself as they all welcomed her. Haley fought back tears, looking back to Aaron as he made small talk with the teacher, getting tugging on his shoulder as he turned his head. “Your daughter is a socialite, Aaron.”
He looked around, spotting Grace’s braided blonde hair as she talked to her peers, smiling as she listened to what they had to say, looking behind her as she waved to her parents, asking for them to come over as they stepped inside the classroom. “I kind of want another one.” Haley said, laughing as Grace held up her toy with excitement.
“Yeah?”
They hadn’t talked about it. Granted, Grace wasn’t planned. Aaron just assumed it would happen in time, whenever she wanted.
“Mhm. I want her to have a little brother or sister to play with.”
“You hated being pregnant.”
“I was 18, Aaron.”
“And 23 is better?” The underlying judgment bites her as she nodded.
“I think so.”
“Okay.” Aaron kissed the top of her hair quietly, “If you’re okay with it, Haley.”
“A boy.” She mused.
“Another girl would be fine.”
“We should probably wait until you’re out of school.”
Aaron laughed, turning his attention back to Grace, “Maybe.”
“We aren’t the best at waiting, are we?”
“You aren’t, Haley. I am.”
She playfully hit his shoulder as he grinned. “I love you so much.”
“I love you even more.”