Archive of Our Own

It had just been a fun little dream of theirs at first. A teenage fantasy.

All eight of them going on a road trip in America, going to all these places they wanted to see over the course of two months.

They had it all planned out—in theory at least. Had specifically purchased a map to route the trip on it, made a list of sights and restaurants they wanted to visit, even looked into the prices for accommodations.

They’d often fantasized about it. Wondered what it would be like, in the famous United States of America.

During lunch breaks, the group would discuss any new thing they'd read or heard, from either their parents or other adults around, their voices overlapping and Wooyoung inevitably screeching with laughter, which would cause the other students to shoot them Looks. In the end, all of them would be giggling in that familiar atmosphere, because one of them tried to prove they could speak fluent English with no accent at all (One Of Them usually being Jongho).

That was some years ago now.

They’ve all grown up, and everyone is either working or finishing their studies.

None of them thought anything would ever actually come of their high school musings, with everyone being busy and having very different schedules, making it hard enough to meet up with all eight friends even for a day.

That was until six weeks ago.

Jongho, the rich, influential bastard that he is, had texted them saying they had tickets booked for a flight to New York, and that they all had the next two months off.

Naturally, chaos ensued in the group chat and outside of it, and an emergency zoom call had to be arranged. Once all the details were discussed and all questions cleared up, everyone got to packing.

And that’s how Hongjoong now finds himself in Atlanta, their 29th stop.

A beautiful city, as far as he can tell.

The sun set gorgeously when they drove down I-75, and downtown Atlanta welcomed them with its lively glow consisting of amber streetlights, colorful neon signs, and brightly illuminated buildings all around.

All six of the passengers sat with their noses pressed to the windows.

Right now, they have just arrived at the Courtland Grand Hotel, where they will be staying the next two nights, and all of them are standing in the lobby while Seonghwa speaks to the receptionist about the rooms that had been booked in advance.

A warm feeling envelops Hongjoong as he watches their oldest, and a soft smile sneaks its way onto his face.

The past month and a half, all 8 of them were forced to live in close quarters with each other, and, more than once (all the time), Hongjoong was painfully reminded of the personal torture program that is his pretty best friend's loving nature.

It is easier when they live their respective lives, because even though they text and call daily, he isn‘t confronted with Seonghwa's visuals and open affection all the time, but on this road trip? There is no escaping the frequent hugs, casual touches and cuddles, that lovely face, the blinding smile—and certainly not his endearing personality and never ending care.

It’s not that he doesn’t like or enjoy it—quite the opposite, actually, and that is the problem: Hongjoong is deeply in love with his best friend of 15 years.

He’s known for a while now, but has always been too much of a coward to act on his feelings in fear of losing their precious friendship.

So he spent the last six weeks pining and longing, acting the fool he always is around Seonghwa, accompanied by a near constant blush and stupidly fast beating heart— and lots of teasing by the other six.

Because of course everyone knows.

Except for Seonghwa.

A soft sigh escapes Hongjoong's lips.

"You’re making heart eyes again."

Wooyoung. Who else.

"Shut up."

Hongjoong rolls his eyes halfheartedly when the younger attaches himself to his arm.

"You know, you should tell him. Before we return to Korea." There is a seriousness to Wooyoung's voice now that makes Hongjoong swallow, and he feels faint dread settling in his chest.

"Hm. I don’t know… I’ve made it this far, and you know that I don’t want to lose him."

Hongjoong looks at Wooyoung beside him.

Even though they tease him a lot, his friends are also the ones he can confide in and ask advice from, especially when it comes to his embarrassing-crush-turned-serious-love.

They are all well informed about all of his thoughts on the matter, and they won’t sugarcoat their own opinions just to please him.

It gives him a much needed reality check a lot of the times.

"Hyung."Wooyoung's voice is soft when he speaks this time. "I am well aware of all your concerns, seeing how you come running to tell us all about them all the time-" The jab is lighthearted, meant to lift the mood, "-but at some point, you’ll need to overcome the fear and just do it. You know that he won’t drop you. This is Seonghwa we’re talking about, he wouldn’t drop a friendship of over a decade just because you confessed, and you know it.

"I don’t want to pressure you, or talk you into something you aren’t ready for, but I see how your feelings are eating you up alive. You’ve made it until now, but we both know that it won’t stay that way much longer."

Hongjoong sighs again. Unfortunately, Wooyoung has a point.

It’s draining him, concealing his romantic feelings. The whole ‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not’ Game he is playing in his head does nothing to help ease his anxiety about the situation either.

He’s told himself it’s fine, that he is okay like this, that his feelings aren’t important, that he doesn’t need them to be out there.

He’s perfectly content just staying by Seonghwa's side as his best friend.

But as the years have passed, and especially during this trip, Hongjoong has realized that he’s just lying to himself.

He is always stuck between two sides of his brain: one trying to convince him that he’ll never be worthy of Seonghwa, that it's a miracle they've stayed friends for so long; and the other one, that insists that no matter the outcome, he'll feel lighter with his feelings off his chest, that Seonghwa would stay friends with him regardless, that maybe there is even a chance Seonghwa reciprocates his feelings.

And so Hongjoong is not okay like this.

It’s becoming increasingly obvious to him that a confession, no matter the outcome, would most definitely release him of all the heavy feelings he’s always carrying around.

And logically, he knows that his friends are right when they tell him that Seonghwa would never leave just because Hongjoong has feelings for him. If anything, he’d probably jump to reassure him that it’s okay, that he’ll never see him differently because of it.

Hongjoong isn’t sure if that makes matters better or worse.

Wooyoung pokes his stomach lovingly, pulling Hongjoong out of his thoughts, and lets go of his arm to look over to the other six.

They have started to gather around Seonghwa, who is holding—correction: clutching three key cards to his chest, clearly trying to get everyone to calm down and assign rooms.

He looks so adorable.

His expression is strict, as if he's talking to unruly children—hands gesturing for them to settle around him—but the sparkle in his eyes gives away just how much he loves his friends.

"At least consider it, yeah?" Wooyoung asks with a smile, startling Hongjoong out of his staring.

"Oh! Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure," he replies, smiling back and trailing after the other man towards the rest of his friends.

And if he almost bumps into a column because he is busy staring at Seonghwa, then no one has to know.

"Oh, there you are, Wooyoung. You’ll be sharing with San, Yeosang, and Jongho."

Seonghwa is in full parenting-mode, and Hongjoong can’t help but find it endearing.

Seonghwa doesn’t know it, but he always gets that special tone of voice, that look on his face, and he has a specific stance that he only does when he’s herding their group around. One hand is on his hip, and he is leaning forward ever so slightly, looking like he is about to scold someone any second now. If he squints, Hongjoong can even imagine bags under his eyes.

Wooyoung and Jongho actually found this one song where a line goes “a single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops”, and there was a phase where they would play it every time Seonghwa took on yet another chore on their behalf. It was funny, but it got old by the third day, when they started playing it for Hongjoong, too.

"Jongho has the key card. Mingi, Yunho, you will be sharing a room, and me and Hongjoong will take the other one. Any complaints?"

The question is more rhetoric than anything, and seeming satisfied with the silence that follows, Seonghwa nods.

"Good. Make sure you rest well. We’re all on the same floor, very close to each other, so don’t hesitate to come knocking on our door if you need anything."

Hongjoong would’ve liked to disagree with that last sentence (it isn't often he gets to spend the night in a room with just Seonghwa, sue him), but he knows it’s in Seonghwa's nature to always want to take care of and be there for those closest to him, so he doesn‘t argue.

As everyone thanks Seonghwa, they make their way to the elevator.

Yunho and Mingi clearly delight in the fact that they get to share a room, and are probably planning to forget about Seonghwa's advice to, instead, play video games on the PlayStation Yunho brought on this trip (Hongjoong has yet to figure out how he did that) and talk late into the night.

Maybe they’ll finally make out, too, Hongjoong hopes. Their pining is getting ridiculous.

The other four look equally giddy to be sharing ("This isn’t even the weirdest double date we’ve had," he hears them say, and prays he never finds out what that means), and Hongjoong smiles the whole way to their rooms.

He adores his friends more than anything, and seeing them happy means everything to him.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"Hongjoong-ah!"

The sweetest voice in the whole wide world calls out behind Hongjoong, and he swears he could melt into a puddle right then and there. Instead, Hongjoong turns around to face its owner, a lovesick smile on his face as their eyes meet.

His heart skips a beat.

"Yeah?" he calls back, after remembering that no, he can’t just stare and expect the other to telepathically communicate with him.

"Our room is back here." There’s amusement in Seonghwa's voice. "Unless you had plans to sleep in the hallway? Or are you running away from me?"

Hongjoong snorts. Yeah right, as if anyone in their right mind would run away from a chance to room with the Park Seonghwa, most beautiful man to walk this earth, kindness and perfection personified, and the best dancer Hongjoong knows.

Of course he doesn’t say any of these things out loud.

"The carpet looks surprisingly comfortable, to be honest," Hongjoong replies instead, "but I can’t let you have a solo room now, can I? That would just be unfair."

Seonghwa grins at him then, holding the door, and mockingly bows.

"Well, after you then."

Hongjoong walks past him with his head held high.

"Why, thank you very much."

They chuckle and move further into the room, Seonghwa quietly shutting the door behind them.

When his friend comes to a sudden stop next to him, Hongjoong knows he’s seen it too.

And he knows he didn’t expect it either.

There is only one bed.

A queen size, to be fair, but only one bed nonetheless.

Now, it’s not like they have never shared a bed before, but that was back when they were teenagers. It has been a number of years and lots of realized feelings since then.

Even during their last stays in much less spacious quarters, Seonghwa had usually opted to cuddle up to one of the others or sleep on the floor.

The silence is getting loud, so Hongjoong clears his throat. "Well! Nothing we haven’t done before," he states, his voice betraying his nerves ever so slightly, "I’m washing up first."

And with that, he speed walks to the bathroom, travel bag in hand, leaving a speechless Seonghwa behind.

Once the door is closed and Hongjoong is sure he’s locked it, he lets himself freak out.

Oh my god, he is going to share a bed with Park Seonghwa!

The Park Seonghwa he had a crush on all through high school, and the one he fell head over heels in love with during college. The Park Seonghwa who always takes care of him when he is sick, who reminds him to take breaks and eat and sleep properly, the one who makes sure to surprise him with his favourite snacks once in a while, the Park Seonghwa he’d written a million fucking songs for, his best friend Park Seonghwa!

No big deal, he tells himself, we’re just guys being dudes, best bros, right?

Except they are not just best bros, because Hongjoong is whipped as fuck.

How is he supposed to survive two nights like this?

Thoughts like this whirl around in Hongjoong's mind as he gets ready for bed, and by the time he is done and inevitably has to let Seonghwa in so he can wash up, too, he still hasn’t found a solution.

He’ll probably just die. Cause of death: shared a bed with Park Seonghwa.

The others will understand.

Unfortunately, Hongjoong's demise comes sooner than expected.

Just as he leaves the bathroom to let Seonghwa know it’s free, he is greeted with the sight of the other's naked torso.

His muscles are on display, golden skin unbelievably smooth in the soft glow of the lights, and if it wasn’t impossible, Hongjoong swears he would’ve imploded on the spot.

Of course he’s seen Seonghwa shirtless before, countless times in fact, but this feels different.

They are in the privacy of their hotel room, just the two of them, with the prospect of sharing a bed—and Hongjoong is in love.

While Seonghwa is immersed in his smartphone, Hongjoong takes the opportunity to really look at him.

The lines of his nose and cheekbones are softened by the yellow glow of the ambient lights, and his hair is framing his face nicely. The black locks have grown to fall down his nape delicately, just shy of touching his shoulders, and Hongjoong yearns to bury his fingers in them.

Seonghwa's beautiful eyes are trained on the small screen in his hands, and he is absentmindedly biting his pretty pink lips. Hongjoong wonders once again how they would feel if he touched them, how they’d feel against his own, if they would taste like the cherry chapstick he gifted Seonghwa a few months back.

They look really soft, and for the sake of his sanity, he needs to look elsewhere.

Elsewhere ends up being his arms.

Seonghwa isn’t a buff man like San, but he is fit nonetheless.

Hongjoong knows he’s been going to the gym with San and Yeosang more frequently, and it's very much visible: his biceps are nicely defined, his broad shoulders contrast with his small waist, his toned stomach is just begging to be touched, and even his hands seem a little different, though he supposes it’s just the veins.

The long, slender fingers and gentle touch remain the same.

Now, should Hongjoong continue to let his gaze wander? No.

Is it detrimental to his mental health to be looking at those beautiful, long, long legs? Yes!

Does this stop him? No, not even for a second.

He swallows hard as his eyes trail down the curve of Seonghwa's thighs, and even though the man’s legs are fully clothed, many inappropriate thoughts infiltrate Hongjoong's mind.

Namely, how he really, really wants to-

"Oh, you’re done! Great."

Seonghwa's voice brings him back to reality and causes his eyes to snap back up faster than lightning. It’s a miracle Hongjoong isn’t blushing and stuttering, considering that he almost got caught staring.

"Yeah! Yeah, I am, I was just about to tell you." Hongjoong can’t find it in himself to move yet, so he remains by the door.

"Alright, well, see you in like-" Seonghwa looks at his nonexistent watch, "-forty minutes!"

He picks up his toiletry bag and smiles at Hongjoong and ugh, why does he have to look so cute and also hot and oh my god, I need to stop thinking.

"I’ll take the right side of the bed, if you don’t mind."

Seonghwa strolls past Hongjoong, as if he didn’t render him a panicked gay mess mere seconds ago, patting his chest as he enters the bathroom.

When the door locks, Hongjoong lets out the breath he was holding.

There is no way he will live to see another day.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Thankfully, Seonghwa's nightly routine doesn’t just include hundreds of steps of skincare, but he has apparently also decided to take a shower tonight.

This will probably give Hongjoong a heart attack later, because Seonghwa looks stupidly good with wet hair, but for now, he enjoys the fact that he gets more time to compose himself and think of ways to survive the night.

He could build a pillow wall between them, but that feels childish and silly.

He could sleep on the floor, but he knows Seonghwa would rather die than let either of them leave the bed when there is clearly enough space for two.

He could ask one of the guys to switch rooms with him last minute, but they had all been very happy with the sleeping arrangements, and in truth, Hongjoong doesn't want to switch.

He could, of course, just get his shit together and be normal about the situation, which seems like the best option, but that’s easier said than done.

How can he be normal when he is all alone with the love of his life and has to share a bed with him?

Wooyoung's words from earlier unhelpfully worm their way into Hongjoong's thoughts.

You should tell him.

Maybe he should. Maybe that would make this whole ordeal that much easier.

Maybe he’ll reciprocate, the hopeful part of his brain whispers.

Maybe this could lead to something, the fulfillment of your dreams, maybe beyond.

A shiver runs down Hongjoong's spine. He’s often thought about it, what could be if he had courage, what it would be like if Seonghwa reciprocated. The urge to make his feelings known is strong all of a sudden.

Unfortunately, all the What If’s are quick to join the party.

But what if you make him uncomfortable?

What if he is repelled by your confession?

What if he doesn’t want to be friends anymore?

Hongjoong sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair.

This war has been going on for weeks, months, years, yet there is no end in sight.

If only he could shut off his brain and just do something.

While lost in thought, he doesn’t hear the bathroom door open.

"Hongjoongie, do you have razor blades?"

The sudden voice next to him startles Hongjoong, and he looks up, immediately starstruck at the sight before him.

He doesn't even have the mind to close his mouth.

Seonghwa is standing next to the bed, wet hair slicked back and dripping on his shoulders, towel wrapped around his waist.

It leaves his upper body exposed (it takes everything in Hongjoong to look away from the water droplets running down his pectorals), long legs covered only down to the thighs, and Hongjoong's brain decides to effectively shut off, overwhelmed by all of the thoughts and fantasies that flood his mind.

He swallows hard, his eyes trailing every inch of the other's body, taking it in and ingraining the image into his mind.

How is a person this gorgeous? Is that even allowed?

Seonghwa is standing here, barefaced and half naked, and Hongjoong finds him nothing short of breathtaking.

His heart feels like it’s going to jump out of his chest with how fast it’s beating, and he wants to do nothing more than pull his friend down and kiss him like there’s no tomorrow.

Among other things.

Things he can’t be thinking right now, because that has the potential to just make everything infinitely worse.

"Uh… Hongjoong?"

Hongjoong's gaze snaps up to find Seonghwa's eyes, distantly noticing how he’s tucking a strand of hair behind his ear that doesn’t need it. Oh, how desperately he wants to thread his fingers through those long black strands, to tug on them while-

Compose yourself, Kim Hongjoong! He’s talking to you, for fuck's sake.

"Oh! What?"

Hongjoong wants to die. This is the best he could come up with?

He didn't hear what his best friend asked him because he was too busy drooling over him, and all he can say afterwards is What?

That wouldn’t do, so he tries again.

"Sorry, I didn’t hear what you said, I was…" Hongjoong trails off, a blush creeping up his neck.

Great, at this point he is just digging his own grave.

He clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair, trying to conceal his nerves.

"Anyways, please repeat what you said?"

Seonghwa grins down at him, and Hongjoong thinks it should be illegal to look this hot.

He really needs to kiss that expression off his friend's face, get him down onto the bed, see what he looks like underneath Hongjoong, with wide eyes, cheeks flushed, and lips glistening with spit they exchanged.

For a moment, neither of them say anything, just hold eye contact, and the silence is filled with unspoken words, until Seonghwa has mercy on him.

"I asked if you had razor blades. Mine are all blunt and don’t do their job anymore."

Hongjoong gives a lopsided smile. "Ah, I’ve been borrowing Yunho's razor, so I don’t have any," he replies, shrugging apologetically.

Seonghwa sighs. "I guess I can skip shaving tonight. Thanks anyway."

And just like that, he’s back in the bathroom, and Hongjoong is a blushing mess. Again.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

It takes Hongjoong the entire remaining time Seonghwa spends in the bathroom to recover.

What the hell was that?

His heartbeat is going a hundred miles per minute, and only calms down with many deep breaths.

It’s fine, he tries to convince himself, everything is fine.

As if he didn't just obviously stare at his best friend with an open mouth, and then proceeded to have borderline explicit thoughts about Seonghwa right in front of him.

When Seonghwa emerges from the bathroom again a short while later, he is wearing pajamas, thank goodness. They’re silk, and they’ve got a little star pattern on them, and his hair falls into his face in the cutest way.

He looks so adorable that Hongjoong has to look away immediately and busy himself with his phone in order not to stare again.

He hears rustling, and seconds later, there's a heavy weight on his stomach, almost making him drop the phone he just picked up, and Hongjoong makes a noise that sounds awfully like he's about to throw up.

He doesn’t, luckily.

And it makes Seonghwa laugh as he rolls off of him, so that’s a win in his book.

"Is it just me or have you gotten heavier during the last month?" Hongjoong teases with an exaggerated groan, putting away his device to give his friend his undivided attention.

"Hey, you kept buying me food everywhere, what did you want me to do? Say no? Absolutely not!"

Seonghwa creeps under Hongjoong's blanket while talking, and snuggles up close to him. Hongjoong hopes he can’t hear how his heartbeat accelerates.

"It’s not my fault you look absolutely adorable when you’re eating! I can’t not buy you food."

The words just come out and they are nowhere near as bad as his staring earlier, but somehow, Hongjoong's brain convinces him that this is it.

Seonghwa will realize how weird Hongjoong is, that he is in love with him, and he will leave him and go to one of the other rooms and tell their friends all about how he is a loser, and then everyone will ignore him for the last week of their trip and once they are back in Korea, they will all cut contact with him.

Embarrassment and panic pool in his stomach, hot and heavy, threatening to make him spill his dinner onto the blankets.

Good job, Kim Hongjoong, way to fuck up the relationship with your best friend! Why don’t you go ahead and conveniently fall out of the window while you’re at it?

And maybe he would’ve continued spiraling, if not for a certain pretty-eyed man in his bed, who giggles at his words and presses himself closer to Hongjoong. All negative thoughts and feelings dissipate immediately, replaced by a fluttering heart and a completeness he only feels with Seonghwa.

There is basically no space left between them now, their legs somehow entangled, Seonghwa's arms wrapped around Hongjoong's waist with his head on his chest.

Instinctively, Hongjoong brings a hand up and finally gently runs his fingers through his best friends silky black hair, still damp from the shower.

It smells like strawberries.

What was he even worried about?

"You think I’m adorable?"

Hongjoong blushes, and he’s glad Seonghwa can’t see his reaction to this question. The other man sounds shy, and so genuinely curious about the answer that he can’t tell him anything but the truth.

"Yes," he replies, surprised at how stable his voice is. "You’ve clearly never seen your face when food is involved."

Seonghwa lightly slaps Hongjoong's chest. "Don’t tease me," he complains, and Hongjoong just smiles fondly.

The situation is incredibly domestic, and it feels so natural, Hongjoong can’t help but think that this is how it’s supposed to be: the two of them, sharing a bed, Seonghwa in his arms, exchanging casual banter.

If their friends brought up how they act like an old married couple right now, Hongjoong would have to agree immediately.

"Are you enjoying the trip?" he asks softly, bringing his free hand up to lie on his stomach so their pinkies are almost touching.

Jongho planned most of the trip, but almost like an unspoken understanding, Seonghwa and Hongjoong had taken over the responsibility of handling everything once they landed in New York.

The division happened naturally, since this is how it worked for them back in school, when they went on short trips or just spent the whole day together.

Hongjoong plans their days, makes sure they get everywhere on time and manages all the things Jongho has put on the program for them, plays tour guide in cities and museums, orders and pays for food a lot of the time, and delegates tasks occasionally.

Seonghwa in turn often reins in their friends when they get too chaotic, makes sure they always have snacks and water with them, shushes them when they get too loud, counts them every now and then to see if they lost anyone.

He assists Hongjoong in any task he needs help with, remembers the things he knows Hongjoong will forget. He makes sure everyone with extra needs gets those fulfilled, and when needed, everyone knows they can talk to him about anything. His arms are always open.

Hongjoong greatly appreciates that Seonghwa does all of these things, and he does his best to lighten the load for Seonghwa as he does for him, but he can’t help worrying.

Hongjoong wants everyone to enjoy the trip, and if he needs to tell the guys off a little so Seonghwa can relax more, he’ll gladly do it.

Seonghwa pulls him back to the present when he moves his hand so his pinky rests on top of Hongjoong's.

If he hears Hongjoong's heart rate pick up again, he doesn’t comment on it.

"I am. It’s been so long since we had the opportunity to really spend time together. I don’t even remember the last time it was all eight of us in a room…" Seonghwa muses, and Hongjoong nods.

He doesn’t remember either. Their schedules don’t often align nowadays, so it’s usually just any grouping of them that can make it, but rarely all of them.

"And I enjoy getting to fuss over the guys a bit. They don’t let me do it as much back home, because they aren’t my little high school babies anymore, but here, they lean into it. Makes me feel needed. I like that."

Hongjoong hums in understanding.

He can relate.

It‘s been quite a while since their school days, and back then, Hongjoong and Seonghwa had literally been the group's parents up until graduation. They are still referred to as such every now and then, but they aren’t needed like they once were.

It’s a testament to their friends growth, and it’s freeing—but there’s a certain feeling of nostalgia that comes with it.

And it’s always been different for Seonghwa, Hongjoong knows that.

He likes being needed by his friends, likes being able to lighten someone’s load, to take care of people in the way they need. There was a time when he used to equate his self-worth to how useful he was, and it would break Hongjoong's heart every time they had conversations about it back then.

That’s also why it had been harder for Seonghwa to let go when they graduated and everyone started living their own lives.

"I mean, you know that I’ve grown a lot, that I’ve learned to love myself, and I’m completely fine with how things are. I know that they love me just the same, and that I’ll always be important to them.

"Being friends on more of an equal level instead of having them look up to me as a parental figure of sorts is very relaxing, and I'm grateful that we can be more free in our interactions. But it’s nice to go back to how things were, even if just for a little bit," Seonghwa elaborates, and Hongjoong has to concentrate hard if he wants to listen attentively, because Seonghwa is intertwining their fingers and it’s making his brain go fuzzy.

"Yeah, I get it," he says, gently combing stray strands of hair out of Seonghwa's face. "I’m glad you’re having a good time. I was worried you might be pushing your limits."

Seonghwa breathes out a laugh, and Hongjoong thinks he might die because of the amount of love he feels.

"If anything, I’m worried that you’re pushing it, Hongjoong," Seonghwa retorts, "You’re always the first one up, planning the day, looking up places and facts, and then you’re the last one to go to sleep. I consider it close to a miracle that you haven’t taken a single nap all this time. At least I’m here to make sure you drink water and use sunscreen."

They both chuckle, then fall into comfortable silence.

Maybe this arrangement isn’t as bad as Hongjong thought it would be.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

It’s definitely bad, Hongjoong decides when he wakes up the next morning.

He and Seonghwa are tangled up underneath their blankets, legs having found each other, and Hongjoong is pretty damn sure that his arm is wrapped tightly around Seonghwa's waist, his friend's back turned to him.

They’re spooning, and Hongjoong really doesn’t know what to do.

He feels too many things at once.

On one hand, he really likes this closeness, has been yearning for it even; he revels in the fact that he gets to hold Seonghwa like this.

On the other hand, this is dangerous for his heart, because now he knows what a sleep-warm Seonghwa feels like in his arms, knows how perfectly they fit together, and how he’s never slept better than last night.

Hongjoong isn't sure how to deal with all of this information, especially not this early in the morning.

At least he doesn’t have a… situation right now, so he can try and sort everything in peace.

As soon as he finishes that thought, Seonghwa mumbles something incoherent, and a deep sigh falls from his lips, clearly not awake yet.

And then he moves slowly, pushing his hips further into Hongjoong, and fuck, he wasn’t hard before, but he’s at least halfway there now.

Of course he just had to jinx it.

Hongjoong's face burns at the realization, and he tries to gently extricate himself from the bed.

That proves to be rather difficult when Seonghwa has a death grip on his arm and pulls him back, deep in sleep.

He grimaces.

What if Seonghwa wakes up and feels his predicament?

That would be horribly embarrassing, and he would really like to avoid that scenario.

On his third try, Hongjoong manages to slip away, and makes a run for the bathroom as fast as he can.

A cold shower gets him calmed down, extinguishing the flame that had lit up his body, but it doesn't wash away the shame he feels for his thoughts.

He continues to get ready for their upcoming day though, banning any and all inappropriate thoughts from his mind.

They have so much planned, there’s no time to be horny for his best friend today.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Breakfast is a rather quiet affair, much to Hongjoong's surprise—though really, he should’ve seen this coming.

They probably all stayed up way later than they should’ve, and are now reasonably tired.

Wooyoung had actually texted earlier, begging Hongjoong to change their plans for the day, but Hongjoong isn’t known as the strict dad for nothing. The boys will simply have to live with the consequences of their own actions.

"Once we’re done eating, I want everyone to pack their stuff for the tour we’re doing later in the afternoon. I’ve texted you the list," Hongjoong speaks up, causing a few of his friends to roll their eyes.

"You won’t have the time otherwise, and we can’t always rely on Seonghwa and Jongho to have everything. We meet in the lobby at 8:40 on the dot. Any later and we leave without you." Several nods follow, and Hongjoong goes back to eating, satisfied with the response.

"I still don’t understand why we couldn’t have changed the tickets to tomorrow. I’d really rather be in bed right now, to be honest," Wooyoung complains only seconds later, shoving a forkful of scrambled eggs into his mouth. "Hyung, can't we still reschedule?"

Hongjoong sighs.

"Wooyoungie," Seonghwa gently interferes before Hongjoong can say anything, "We could cancel the tickets and book new ones, but Jongho wouldn't get the money back for those original tickets."

He pauses for a second, and Hongjoong glances at Wooyoung, who has that look on his face where you know he understands, but only very begrudgingly.

"Plus, we all knew the plan for today, but you chose to stay up anyways. Not that I blame you though, Hongjoong and I would've stayed up longer too if I hadn't been tired from the drive. In any case, point being: no rescheduling."

Wooyoung sighs dramatically, but it's clear he is fine.

Hongjoong on his side of the table is very much not fine. Fighting a blush, he replays Seonghwa's words in his head.

Hongjoong and I would've stayed up longer too.

Staying up longer would've meant more talking, more cuddling, and sleepy Seonghwa mumbling nonsense into his shoulder. He always looks delightfully soft when he blinks so slowly and yawns every five seconds, so really, it's a good thing they went to sleep at a reasonable time.

Hongjoong might not have survived otherwise.

Breakfast ends on a very high note when San mentions the seahorses and alligators they have at the aquarium, and everyone is soon chattering about what else they might see and who would be which animal.

They collectively agree that Wooyoung would definitely be a seahorse, since he's an ‘mpreg truther’, whatever that means.

Hongjoong is afraid to ask.

Seonghwa is right beside him when they wait for the elevators.

"I’m glad they are having such a good time. Even though they have to be up early like this sometimes."

Hongjoong glances at him, at the look of adoration he is wearing, and decides to be a little bolder than usual.

He grabs Seonghwa's hand and squeezes it gently.

"Wooyoung takes after you, you know, with all that complaining."

Seonghwa gasps in fake offense, squeezing his hand a little harder than necessary.

"I beg your pardon? I don't complain, I'll have you know. I only offer my humble opinion to the masses!"

Hongjoong tries to suppress his laugh at Seonghwa's antics, but an ugly snort comes out anyways. It earns him a shoulder tap.

"Right, right! And the masses shall always conform and obey your every whim, I promise."

The soft smile Hongjoong receives then holds the warmth of the sun on a beautiful summer day, and they step into the elevator with an easy air surrounding them, hands still intertwined.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Barely an hour later, the eight friends are in the Georgia Aquarium to admire several different sea creatures.

The staff is very friendly, and they get inside with no problem, relieving Hongjoong of one of his worries for the day.

He marvels at the thought and effort put into the interior. Everything has some kind of underwater element, and it really enhances the immersive experience they’re trying to create. The blue lights that dance over the walls form an animal here and there, and Hongjoong is absolutely taken by it.

It’s easily one of the most beautiful Aquariums Hongjoong has ever been to—not that he’s visited very many in his life.

The group naturally splits as they go deeper, and this is how Hongjoong ends up walking next to Seonghwa. The other six are nowhere to be found, but Hongjoong can’t bring himself to care.

Not when his hand brushes Seonghwa's occasionally, sending pleasant tingles through his body. He is tempted to lace their fingers together, but here, with so many people around, he’s less brave.

The silence they share is comfortable, and only disrupted by a whisper here and there when they point out a fish that looks particularly pretty, or another creature one of them is fascinated by.

They see otters, at some point, and Hongjoong makes an off handed comment about how they’re awfully similar to Wooyoung.

Seonghwa laughs softly, and Hongjoong can’t help but stare at him for a few seconds longer than is appropriate.

It gets really bad when they reach the tunnel, though.

The only thing separating them from the fish, sharks, crabs, and other creatures, is the thick glass that forms the tunnel. The gentle light broken by the water cloaks Seonghwa in an otherworldly beauty.

Hongjoong finds it hard to look at anything else but him, even when Seonghwa giggles and points at a whale shark, claiming it to be Hongjoong's long lost cousin.

The blue hue that encases the whole tunnel softens Seonghwa's face in a particular way, rounding his features, and making his eyes seem impossibly bigger and shinier than they are.

They are almost glittering, like they hold more stars than Hongjoong can imagine, and he looks… content.

Completely at peace.

It’s an expression Hongjoong rarely gets to see on his best friend's face these days, and he’s all the more glad to be able to witness it right now.

Hongjoong's heartbeat is uncharacteristically steady as he keeps watching Seonghwa.

A sense of calm washes over him, despite how adoration tugs at his heart so harshly he might mistake it for melancholy. Hongjoong is utterly taken by the picture of beauty, gentleness, and serenity Seonghwa paints in this moment.

Nothing else could grab his attention right now.

He thinks this is what people feel when they look at art that touches their soul.

He’d give anything for an ounce of bravery, for the courage to tell his best friend about his feelings right here, right now, about how he adores him so completely he fears for his own sanity sometimes.

He wishes he could stop being a coward while they exist in this comfortable bubble they always create in each other's company.

He dares to imagine an alternative timeline where Hongjoong confesses and grabs Seonghwa by the waist to kiss him softly, hold him tight, with all the love he fears might spill over if he’s not careful.

It’s all in the little things. It always is with Seonghwa.

Every crinkle of his eyes, every scrunch of his nose, every squeal and every insistent tapping, Hongjoong feels enthralled by everything that is Seonghwa.

The way his face lights up, the way the shadows of sea animals ghost over his face and have him contort it in fascination, the way his lips form an awed ‘o’ when he’s particularly intrigued—It’s all so incredibly endearing, and Hongjoong's chest constricts with the sheer force of all the affection he has for his friend.

Hongjoong floats down from cloud nine when Seonghwa points at a fish with a fond smile.

"This one reminds me of San, don’t you think? He pouts just like that."

Hongjoong is sure the smile on his face looks stupid, but it doesn’t matter.

He is stupid, stupid for Seonghwa.

"Yeah, totally. Lets take a picture of it."

Seonghwa is delighted by this idea, and Hongjoong watches him meticulously snap photos of the silly creature.

It’s cute, the way he changes angles and makes sure the fish is in focus, sticking his tongue out a little in concentration. Hongjoong just knows his cheeks will hurt from smiling so much when they leave the Aquarium.

"Your turn."

Hongjoong blinks.

Seonghwa is standing in front of him, all smiles, phone in hand, and pointing toward a spot by the tunnel wall.

He is dumbfounded for a second.

It doesn’t help that Seonghwa's eyes sparkle with affection, and that his face is momentarily illuminated by a brighter sun ray that fought its way through the water, causing Hongjoong's mind to blank.

Seonghwa looks like an angel right now, black hair reflecting the light like some kind of halo, his eyes holding a million galaxies, and full lips pulled into a joyful expression that has Hongjoong's insides churning in the best way.

"Huh?" he manages intelligently, eliciting a soft giggle from his best friend.

"Come stand here, Hongjoongie, I’ll take pictures of you."

Unable to say no, Hongjoong obediently moves to the spot Seonghwa is pointing at.

He starts posing for the camera, following Seonghwa's muttered instructions here and there, and it’s fun.

But the best part is the smile on his friend's lips as he takes the pictures.

Hongjoong would do anything if it meant Seonghwa never loses that smile.

Eventually, they declare the impromptu photo shoot done, and Seonghwa narrows his eyes at Hongjoong, pointing at himself.

"Okay, my turn now," he demands playfully, and who is Hongjoong to argue?

Taking pictures of Seonghwa is something of a spiritual experience.

The man is already beautiful as is, but when he is in front of a camera, it’s like a switch flips. Suddenly he turns into a proper model, throwing looks at the camera, posing like his life depends on it—and Hongjoong is mesmerized.

He is downright spellbound by the way Seonghwa angles his face, how he knows what makes him look good, how to play with the light and shadows the water provides.

It all happens in some kind of trance for Hongjoong, Seonghwa being his sole focus.

Everything is muted, subdued, except for the man he’s photographing. His thoughts are calm, the only thing on his mind being a loop of I can't believe I get to call him my best friend.

There’s only Seonghwa and Hongjoong in this moment.

Nothing else matters.

It’s like coming up from water when Seonghwa asks to see the results.

Hongjoong blinks repeatedly, and suddenly he is drowning in noise, in the whispers from the strangers around them, the incessant crying of an infant, and the occasional quiet gurgle of water that might as well be a wave crashing against a cliff side.

He’s always had a bit of a problem with crowds, but it had gotten a lot better when he started putting himself out there. Rarely does it happen now that Hongjoong becomes anxious, or starts panicking in public.

Today appears to be an exception though, and it’s only Seonghwa's gentle touch on his arm and his soft, understanding smile that bring Hongjoong back and ground him in reality.

His warm eyes are asking a silent question.

Everything alright?

And Hongjoong answers with a smile.

Everything’s good. Thanks for checking.

Yeosang once said their relationship is like that of soulmates, because they don’t even need words to communicate. They know what the other is thinking with just one look (Hongjoong desperately hopes this doesn’t apply to his feelings and all the R-rated thoughts he has about Seonghwa).

Wooyoung had called it creepy telepathy shit and demanded a witch hunt.

When they look at the results of the impromptu photo shoot, Hongjoong can’t say he’s surprised.

Even though it’s just Hongjoong's shitty phone camera, all the pictures are divine. The lighting is truly made for Seonghwa, and despite his simple outfit, he looks like he belongs to the sea, in an underwater palace.

Like a siren, or a mermaid. With enough imagination, Hongjoong can almost see his hair floating in the water.

Seonghwa's pleased hum has Hongjoong's chest swelling with pride, and he allows himself a satisfied smile.

"These turned out so well, Joongie! Thank you so much! Let’s take selfies together now."

Hongjoong wants to protest. He really does, but one look at his friend's hopeful smile and big round eyes destroys any disgruntlement he could have expressed. He dutifully takes his place next to Seonghwa and smiles into the camera.

They take a few pictures like that, making silly faces for some, and serious expressions for others, and giggling over them.

For the last picture, Seonghwa crouches down ever so slightly, making him barely shorter than Hongjoong.

He wants to complain (because hello, Hongjoong is not that much shorter than Seonghwa, don’t mock him!), but the words won’t come out.

Seonghwa's face is much closer to his own now, and if he turned, they would be eye level with each other, separated by mere centimeters.

Hongjoong just keeps smiling into the camera, wondering if Seonghwa will ever take the picture, when suddenly, he sees his friend's mirror image in the screen turn it's face, and only milliseconds later, there are soft lips on his cheek.

His face falls, eyes widening, and then Seonghwa clicks the button, Hongjoong's shock now eternalized in pixels.

The press of lips is gone as fast as it came, and Seonghwa pockets his phone.

Hongjoong is still having trouble forming coherent thoughts. His heart is beating so fast he fears it might jump out of his rib cage.

"Wha-" He doesn’t even finish the word, eyes searching for Seonghwa's before realizing his friend is turned away from him.

If he didn’t know better, he could almost think that the tips of Seonghwa's ears are red, indicating embarrassment and shyness, but it’s hard to tell with the blue light, and really, there’s no reason for it, so Hongjoong chalks it up to his imagination.

"Let’s keep going, Hongjoongie."

Why does Seonghwa sound nervous? Hongjoong doesn’t know, but he forgets about it when long, gentle fingers wrap around his wrist and pull him forward.

They quickly return to their comfortable banter and spend the rest of the aquarium visit holding hands. Hongjoong points out animals that remind him of their friends, and Seonghwa laughs and points at the ones that he thinks are him and Hongjoong.

There is one instance where he points at two fish who are hovering close by each other, looking like they’re kissing the way humans would.

"Look, that’s us," Seonghwa says, directing Hongjoong's attention to the little creatures, and Hongjoong, who’d just been laughing about his own comparison between an eel and Yunho (they’re both lanky and have big eyes), clamps his mouth shut.

He doesn’t want to read into this, but that’s really fucking difficult when the fish look like they’re kissing and Seonghwa is looking at him with that affectionate smile.

The memory of their last selfie pops into his mind, too.

Hongjoong gulps, ignoring how the little sprout of hope his optimist side has planted grows.

"Yeah. That’s us,”"he chokes out, squeezing Seonghwa's hand subconsciously.

The moment is over when Seonghwa spots a purple jellyfish and excitedly pulls Hongjoong towards it.

He quietly lets out a long exhale.

Just how am I going to survive this?

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

It seems Hongjoong and Seonghwa are the last ones to finish the tour of the aquarium, because everyone else is talking animatedly when they exit the doors in the back of the building, though that changes immediately when they spot the two eldest.

Wooyoung grins at Hongjoong, glancing down at their joint hands, and the knowing glint in his eyes has him internally groaning.

He just hopes the brat will keep his mouth shut—which is an unrealistic thought, but a man can dream.

"Enjoy your date, hyungs?"

And there it is.

Hongjoong glares at Wooyoung.

"This was not-" he starts at the same time that Seonghwa responds: "We did, thanks for asking, Youngie!"

Flabbergasted, Hongjoong gapes at his best friend, who is happily smiling at the group and still tugging him forward by their intertwined fingers.

Wooyoung wiggles his eyebrows.

Hongjoong mouths the words You’re dead.

No one else says anything though, and it’s as if nothing happened when the eight of them fall into scattered conversation soon after, strolling down the path of the nice park behind the aquarium.

"Did you guys see the sharks?" Mingi exclaims, slinging an arm around Yunho's shoulder. "I especially loved the Whale Shark in the tunnel! It was very pretty."

Yunho to his right smiles adoringly. "It reminded me of you."

It's almost comical how fast Mingi's face turns red at this, and he quickly changes the topic.

Hongjoong can’t help the fond smile that settles on his face. One day they'll get there.

"Anyway. San fell flat on his face when we exited the Dolphin Coast."

"Hey!" San shoots Mingi a glare and threatens to hit him. "I thought we decided to keep that to ourselves!"

The two men start bickering back and forth, and one of the others occasionally chimes in.

Amidst it all, Seonghwa stays glued to Hongjoong's side.

He has let go of his hand, and instead decided to link their arms. Whenever Hongjoong glances over, he finds that beautiful face set in a smile filled with tenderness, warm gaze locked on the six men walking in front of them.

Here and there, Seonghwa will giggle softly, and quietly mumble commentary that is meant for Hongjoong's ears only.

The domesticity of it isn't lost Hongjoong, and he welcomes it, lets it wrap around him like a soft blanket.

It really feels like they’re a family, just like during many other moments on this trip, and Hongjoong is so proud that their bond never once faltered in all their years of knowing each other.

It’s led them here, and he couldn’t be happier.

Well, actually, that’s only half true—he would, in fact, be happier if the man on his arm was his boyfriend, but you know, semantics.

"Hongjoong-hyung! What was the name of that thing we went to in Saint Louis?" San's voice disrupts his thoughts. "The really tall one that Seonghwa-hyung and Mingi didn’t want to step foot in, you know?" Everyone is looking at Hongjoong expectantly, and he rolls his eyes in fake annoyance.

"You mean the Gateway Arch?" he supplies, holding back a chuckle when San's face lights up with recognition.

"Exactly that one! What was the name of the kid that they said jumped off there years ago?"

Hongjoong stares for a moment, before he remembers what San is referring to.

When they’d visited the Gateway Arch, a guy next to them had told them about this crazy kid that managed to sneak up during construction or whatever and jumped off the Arch, somehow surviving the fall despite the Mississippi River being a good ways from the structure.

Hongjoong doesn’t think it’s true.

Not that he’d listened very attentively when the guy explained it, much too busy glaring at him for taking Seonghwa's attention so easily, but the man had looked kind of insane with his windswept hair and eerily intense green-blueish eyes, so his credibility was rather low, in Hongjoong's humble opinion.

Seonghwa, though, had immediately begun asking questions, seeming very intrigued, and so Hongjoong had indulged the fantasy for the time being.

"Uh, I don’t know, it was something super outlandish," he finally replies to San, furrowing his brows. This was not vital information for him, so he hadn’t let it take up space in his already overflowing mind.

"It was Perseus."

Of course Seonghwa remembers. He’d been the one in conversation with the guy for at least thirty minutes, after all. Not that Hongjoong is jealous or anything.

"Ah, yes, thank you hyung. See, I told you it was Greek!"

San grins at Wooyoung triumphantly and nudges Jongho. They shake on apparently having won the argument, with Jongho even sticking out his tongue at the other pair.

Wooyoung and Yeosang just roll their eyes and give in begrudgingly.

"Oh, trouble in paradise," Seonghwa mutters under his breath, and even though it’s a horrible joke, Hongjoong snorts in amusement.

A sudden wave of gratitude overcomes him. He wouldn’t be who he is today without these seven men, and he can’t imagine not having them by his side.

No matter how much they bicker and argue, especially about silly things, there’s equal amounts of wholesome and beautiful moments, and Hongjoong wouldn’t trade this for the world.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

They eventually leave the park and head to the place where they will be picked up by the little bus they’ll be taking a tour through Atlanta with—a trolley tour, it’s called.

It’s rather dull, if Hongjoong is honest.

The tour isn’t bad per se, but he could’ve seen all of these places and then some for much less money and on a way more manageable schedule. Everyone agrees, and they grumble a bit about the money lost on it, but at least they have fun teasing each other and making jokes along the ride.

The tour guide all the way to the front of the bus tells them that there are 71 variations of Peachtree street all over Atlanta, and they all give each other a side eye.

They get useless information like this throughout the whole tour—not exclusively, but enough for them to roll their eyes and tune out when the guide starts chatting about ‘The Braves’ again, whoever that may be (Wooyoung and Jongho tell them it’s a baseball team, so really, Hongjoong isn’t missing anything).

Instead, they make fun of street names they found when looking at Atlanta on Google Maps a few days back.

"I mean, who comes up with these?" San questions. "Why would you call it Jot Em Down Road?"

Wooyoung snorts, just like how he did when they first read out the name. "What even is a Jot Em Down?"

Hongjoong knows it’s some kind of slang, but he keeps quiet when he spots San's appalled expression. Seonghwa right next to Wooyoung catches his eyes and grimaces at what’s coming. Hongjoong just bites back a grin.

"What do you mean ‘what is a jot em down’? Didn't I literally specifically google it for you three days ago?"

Wooyoung leans into Seonghwa, a sheepish look on his face. Hongjoong looks between San and Wooyoung. He thought San would scold his boyfriend for not researching slang, but this is much funnier.

"Ahh… Sannie, light of my life, sole star in my night sky, I’m so sorry, I must've forgotten? You know I can't retain information well when it's late."

Seonghwa clears his throat when he sees San taking a breath, gearing up to respond. "Right," Seonghwa says, "Good talk. But don’t you think Best Friend Road is kind of cute?"

And that’s the end of that.

They go back to occasionally listening and actually looking out of the windows, and the rest of the tour is over rather quickly.

It wasn’t everything he’d wished for it to be, but Hongjoong has high hopes for the Stone Mountain Park Tour they’re doing next.

When they get back from the Trolley Tour, the eight men walk back to the Hotel to grab their stuff and drive to the next meeting point.

Animated chatter fills the car, everyone excited for the beautiful sights of nature they’re hoping to see.

Luckily for them, the day is beautiful, with the sun shining and temperatures staying at a tolerable level.

"Do you think we’ll see bears?" Mingi asks from the back row, leaning forward in his seat.

Hongjoong, who is driving, grins when he hears the question, because he knows exactly what San will say in turn.

For once, he is glad to have both Choi brothers in his car, or else he’d be deprived of beautiful moments like these.

"We already have a bear with us, what more do you need?" San says, fake shock evident in his voice and face, just as Hongjoong thought. "Your greed sickens me, Mingi."

Jongho in the passenger seat groans, but Hongjoong can see the fond smile on his face through his peripheral vision.

"Hey, that’s not fair, you know what I meant!" Mingi defends himself, "I am Jjongbear's number one fan!"

They keep discussing the tour during the drive—which isn’t very long, thankfully.

As they get out of the car, Jongho and Mingi start arguing about which member they should give silly dares along the way.

"If we find a river, we should definitely get Wooyoung to dunk his head in," Jongho proposes, and Hongjoong smiles to himself.

The tour is promising to be full of shenanigans.

"What’s got you smiling so big, hm?"

Hongjoong startles when he suddenly hears Seonghwa's voice right in his ear. He fights the blush that threatens to take over his cheeks and instead turns to face his friend.

"Just our friends being funny," he responds nonchalantly, screaming internally because Seonghwa hasn’t moved his face, which means that now their noses are almost touching.

He’s very proud of himself for maintaining eye contact despite the proximity.

For a split second, Hongjoong thinks he sees Seonghwa's gaze flit to his lips, but it’s over before he can even finish the thought.

It makes him fantasize about kissing his friend again, which isn’t very helpful for the situation he finds himself in.

"Hmm, I see. I guess I can concede to my friends."

Before Hongjoong can ask Seonghwa to elaborate (because what the hell does that mean?), his friend is scampering off to wrap an arm around Jongho's shoulder and try to kiss the youngest on the cheek, much to that one’s dismay.

That leaves Hongjoong standing there, mouth open and cheeks rosy.

The perfect victim for Yaoi Predator Wooyoung, who immediately takes the chance to pounce on his prey.

"Hyung~" he singsongs, linking their arms and throwing a smirk his way. "Was that flirting that I just witnessed?"

Hongjoong rolls his eyes and prepares to respond, but before he can, there is another body pressing into his side.

"I swear you almost fainted when you turned towards him."

Naturally, wherever Wooyoung goes, San isn’t far.

"Ugh, get off me, you two menaces," he scolds them lightly, and weakly shoves at San's arms.

"Make that three." And now Yeosang has joined the fray—just amazing.

"He was totally flirting with you,hyung, I say you just go and kiss him right now. Who’s with me?"

Yeosang may seem timid and shy at first, but Hongjoong knows better. He can be the worst of them all if he wants to.

"Me, me! What are we voting for?" Oh, of course Mingi would partake too, which means—

"We are sending Hongjoong-hyung into his demise!" And there’s Yunho.

Great.

99z complete and all united on one side is his greatest nightmare.

"Is it National Bully-Hongjoong-Day or something?" he grumbles, but he doesn’t make any attempts to shake his friends off (it’s a miracle that they’ve all found a part of him to cling to). "You know my thoughts on this, I can’t just go and start to flirt with him, be obvious as all hell, no matter how hard you want to convince me that it would work."

Mingi ruffles his hair, and Hongjoong just lets it happen at this point. At least Jongho has made sure Seonghwa is out of earshot.

"We were just joking, but now I'm genuinely curious. Do you really want to ignore all these opportunities? The most you’ve initiated so far was holding hands, and that’s not even inherently romantic! I don’t want to watch you waste away again when we go back home."

Hongjoong wants to refute Wooyoung, but a glare from Yeosang stops him.

"Don’t you dare try to disagree," Yunho chimes in, "You thought you were slick, listening to sad songs and skipping lunch hangouts right before Jongho announced this trip, but we aren't stupid. So don’t start."

Hongjoong lets his shoulders sag in defeat. He knows they’re right, and is glad when San's grip on his arms tightens comfortingly.

"I just get so scared, you know? It’s like I can’t shut my brain off, and-"

They get rudely interrupted by the announcement that the tour is about to start.

Hongjoong sighs and pushes away the thoughts that came up, ignores the tightness in his throat and the uncomfortable, heavy feeling in his stomach.

His friends give him looks that tell him they’re not done with this, and give him gentle pats and squeezes before sauntering towards Jongho and Seonghwa.

Mingi sticks to Hongjoong's side as they go. "I won’t let you spiral, I hope you know that," he whispers, and Hongjoong has to suppress tears, because he does know.

That’s his Minki, after all.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The Stone Mountain Park Tour ends up being quite lovely. Despite the rocky start, what with Hongjoong getting emotional and all, the eight friends have a lot of fun.

Mingi, as promised, is right next to Hongjoong the whole time, which is really good for his mental state, but it also means he is the firsthand witness to all of Hongjoong's gay panic, gay longing and yearning, and gay stupidity.

He catches Hongjoong staring lovingly at Seonghwa, who is frantically applying sunscreen to Wooyoung's face when the sun comes out from the clouds, and immediately calls to their oldest for Hongjoong to be next.

That’s how he ends up with Seonghwa's hands on his skin, and his face so, so close. It’s no good for his heart, and Hongjoong makes sure to give Mingi sufficient death glares for at least two minutes.

"It’s for your own sake," the younger man tries to placate, and Hongjoong can’t be angry with him too long anyways.

Not just because Mingi is his favourite, but also because he can’t really complain about Seonghwa being close. He likes it, no matter how much he feels like he’s is going to die, no matter how hard he pretends to be annoyed.

At some point, when they stop and hike a little bit for a better view, Seonghwa falls back to walk with him and intertwines their fingers again. Mingi on Hongjoong's other side wiggles his eyebrows the second he notices the blush on Hongjoong's face.

Unfortunately the domestic bliss of hiking together doesn’t last long, because despite Seonghwa's gentle prodding and requests, Mingi doesn’t stray from Hongjoong's side. Much to Hongjoong's dismay, Seonghwa then decides to rejoin San and Wooyoung up front, who immediately cling to him like little baby cats.

Hongjoong is pretty sure that’s actually what Seonghwa saved the couple's contact names in his phone as.

He wonders what Seonghwa has his number saved under… probably something like joongie :D or ‘98 best friend!, no need to get his hopes up.

And anyways, Hongjoong is in no position to think about this when he still has his best friend saved as Park Seonghwa (school), having never changed the name after saving it like this when they first exchanged numbers.

He remembers the day like it was yesterday.

Seonghwa and him had known each other since elementary school, but they’d only ever talked and played at school, never in their free time—even though Hongjoong had really wanted to. Then, in fifth grade, they were partnered up for a project in biology that required them to work on it outside of school.

Hongjoong doesn’t even remember what the project was about anymore.

All he remembers is that when they discussed meeting up, Seonghwa was all gentle smiles and starry eyes as the smell of strawberry and vanilla wrapped him in a hug.

They’d both received their first phones for Christmas two weeks prior, and so instead of giving each other their home phone number, they’d exchanged their personal ones. Seonghwa's was the first number in Hongjoong's phone, right after his parent's, and, well, they’ve been best friends ever since.

"What are you smiling at him like that for?"

Mingi's smug curiosity brings Hongjoong back to reality, shooting his friend a look. "If you must know, I was thinking about the day we exchanged numbers," he replies, causing Mingi to raise an eyebrow.

"Oh, I remember. You wouldn’t shut up about the nice boy with the long hair that also has a phone already. Rubbed it under all of our noses that you were the first person to get Park Seonghwa's phone number."

Hongjoong shrugs. "It was a big achievement."

Mingi rolls his eyes in fake annoyance and lightly shoves Hongjoong forward. "Only because Wooyoung wasn’t allowed to have a phone back then, or else you would’ve been second."

Hongjoong huffs, nudging Mingi with his shoulder. "But he didn’t, so I was first. And I will be proud of this until the day I die."

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Back at the hotel, Hongjoong immediately takes a shower.

The rest of the tour had gone really well. The hike had been nice, the landscape gorgeous, and they‘d had plenty of fun.

Wooyoung had dunked his head in the freezing cold river they walked along for a bet, as Mingi and Jongho had hoped, and then proceeded to take a bath after Yeosang accidentally bumped into him a little too forcefully.

After laughing at him for two minutes, Seonghwa started fretting, making sure Wooyoung was sufficiently warmed up and changed clothes, and Hongjoong endured the I Told You So lecture with a fond smile (when packing that morning, Hongjoong had insisted they wouldn’t need towels or a change of clothes for the tour—of course his friends would prove him wrong).

Seonghwa had attempted to get him alone once more when they were walking back to the vans, but Mingi wouldn’t budge, so he’d resigned to just linking arms and talking about trivial things.

As Hongjoong looks into the mirror now, he wonders if Seonghwa had something on his mind that he meant to talk to Hongjoong about.

Does he have concerns?

Worries?

Does he feel uncomfortable with something?

It could be a million things, but at the end of the day, Hongjoong is not a mind reader (contrary to popular belief), so he just sighs and gets dressed, planning to ask him about it later.

When Hongjoong leaves the bathroom, he wants to dig through his suitcase for that one cologne he really likes (the one Seonghwa told him smells good), but freezes in his tracks.

Seonghwa is sat on the bed, and he has his serious face on.

Hongjoong gulps. That can’t be good.

"Seonghwa-yah?" he asks, moving to sit down next to his friend. "What’s got you looking all serious?"

Seonghwa looks at him, and the concern is written so plainly on his face that it takes Hongjoong aback.

His mind starts working overtime.

What is Seonghwa concerned about? Did the guys do something? Did they say something?

Did Hongjoong do or say something? Is something wrong with their plans? With the hotel?

The whole time they’ve been on this trip, Seonghwa hasn’t looked concerned like this once.

Not even when Jongho almost broke his legs in Nashville, and he’d been really concerned then.

"Hongjoong," Seonghwa says, and Hongjoong sits up straighter.

He has no idea what to expect.

"Is everything okay?"

Oh. That is certainly a vague question, and not one Hongjoong is sure he’s interpreting correctly.

"Yes," Hongjoong reassures, "fantastic, even. Today has been lovely so far, no?"

They’ve been on schedule all day, had tons of fun, and ate good food.

Their plans for the evening are promising to be just as great as the day.

Yet the crease between Seonghwa's eyebrows stays, which leads Hongjoong to conclude that this is not what his friend was hinting at.

It confuses him just a little bit.

What else could he mean by his question?

And whatever could’ve brought this on?

"Yes, it has been." Seonghwa looks at him strangely. Unreadable. Hongjoong hates it.

It’s very rare that he can’t tell what Seonghwa is thinking or feeling.

"Let me be more specific, then: are you okay?"

Well, fuck. Hongjoong really should’ve seen this coming. The whole soulmate mind reader thing doesn’t just apply to Hongjoong, after all.

Of course Seonghwa would notice his off moments the past few weeks.

"I am," is what Hongjoong replies, which is a blatant lie, and Seonghwa knows this.

Hongjoong sees the sadness flicker in his eyes, can read the hurt in the way he presses his lips into a thin line, the disappointment at being brushed off like this.

It’s highly unusual for Hongjoong to lie to Seonghwa, especially when it comes to how he’s feeling.

Seonghwa is always the first to know when Hongjoong is frustrated, when he’s angry, when he’s sad, when he’s elated, when he’s upset. Always. Seonghwa helps him validate his own emotions and work through them, lending an ear whenever needed.

But Hongjoong cannot be honest about what exactly he’s feeling, and why he is feeling this way. He just can’t.

Just when he’s about to come up with a half-assed excuse, just to tell Seonghwa something, his friend beats him to it.

"Why are you lying to me?" he asks, his voice soft and full of upset confusion.

Hongjoong's first instinct is to deny the accusation, but one look at Seonghwa makes all words die in his throat.

His friend's eyes are shiny, like he’s about to tear up, and his expression is so helpless—it breaks Hongjoong's heart.

And he’s right, anyways. Hongjoong would just add more lies if he tried to talk himself out of this now. It’s better he stays quiet.

"Did I do something to make you feel this way? Like you have to lie? Like you can’t tell me when you don’t wish to talk about it?" Seonghwa is asking with a shaky voice, though Hongjoong can tell he’s trying to mask it.

His eyes widen, because fuck, he did not think about what he could be conveying without trying to, and now his angel of a best friend is asking if he’s at fault.

"No! Seonghwa, no. You didn’t do anything, you- Seonghwa, you’re my best friend. It’s just…" Hongjoong sighs, running a hand through his hair, trying to avoid looking at his friend because he knows it might break his defenses.

This is not at all what he wanted to achieve, and it’s stressing him out. Seonghwa shouldn’t have to doubt himself, their friendship, but now he does, and it’s Hongjoong's fault.

Why can’t he just be honest?

"I lied because I’ve only recently admitted to myself that something's been bothering me a lot more than I thought. I’ve been struggling with it, and it’s hard to be honest about it with others."

It’s hard to be honest about it with you, because what if you walk away?

"The thing is, I want to talk about it. I really do. But I just- I can’t. Yet. You know?"

He gets up and starts pacing, contradicting the words he just said as the sudden urge to tell Seonghwa about this situation he's found himself in without actually telling him overtakes his nerves.

"For years, I thought I would be fine without crossing the bridge, you know? I thought I would be okay with just looking at the other side—I was content with just sitting on my little picnic blanket and watching the person on the other side as they took care of the plants and all."

Seonghwa seems to have expected that Hongjoong would start monologuing, because he looks neither surprised, nor confused. He just sits and watches Hongjoong, getting comfortable on the bed.

"But then, whenever I looked, I started wondering: what do the flowers smell like over there? Would I be allowed to pick the cherry trees? Could I find more exciting things than what I have on my side? Would I be welcome? Could I have a connection with the person over there? Would they invite me into their house?

"And suddenly, there’s this war going on in my head, because I want to go look, I want to cross the bridge, I want to try, really. But whenever I think about it, all the shadows in my mind come together to build a wall in front of the river, and then I can’t see the other side anymore, and it’s like I’m frozen in place."

Hongjoong would probably be really proud that he came up with this analogy, if weren’t for the fact that he’s literally describing his struggle of several years to the exact person the struggle is about.

Seonghwa is listening attentively, his big dark eyes locked on Hongjoong.

"Sometimes, especially when I’m by myself, I can imagine walking over the bridge just fine. And when I do, it’s amazing, and it makes me want to actually do it. But when I take the first step, when I just think about taking that step, the wall is back. And I- I just don’t know what to do about it."

Hongjoong stops pacing to look at Seonghwa, and he’s sure his helplessness and desperation is written all over his face, amplified by the shine of tears he’s trying so hard to keep in.

"I don’t know what to do."

Seonghwa is up within seconds, wrapping gentle arms around Hongjoong's shoulders, and just holding him. Hongjoong brings up his hands to rest on the small of Seonghwa's back.

It’s been a while since they embraced like this, because frankly, it’s been a while since either one of them has had to spill their guts this way.

He melts into the affectionate touch, and all tension washes off of him in Seonghwa's calming presence.

Hongjoong can’t tell if it’s been seconds or minutes, but eventually, Seonghwa speaks up from where his head is nestled against Hongjoong's.

"You know the bridge won’t run away, right? It’ll be there when you’re ready, when you’ve made peace with the shadows," he whispers.

Hongjoong lets out a long breath.

Seonghwa knows how to bring rationality and logic into Hongjoong's mess, and he always does it so gently, so effortlessly, that Hongjoong wonders why he didn’t think of it himself.

It makes him feel safe to voice all the lingering worries.

"But what if the person isn’t there by the time I’m ready? What if the plants are all wilted, and there are no more cherries to pick?"

Seonghwa squeezes him tight.

"They will be there. And since they are there, the plants will be there too, and you will be able to pick all the cherries you want."

Hongjoong leans his head forward, against Seonghwa's shoulder, trying to suppress the tears that threaten to come up again.

"How do you know that?" he whispers.

"They built a house there, didn’t they? And they planted flowers, and a tree. They’ve lived there all this time, don’t you think they would’ve moved already if there was nothing there for them anymore?" Seonghwa's warm voice is soothing for his restless mind, and the words stir something within Hongjoong.

He squeezes his eyes shut, and a lone tear rolls down his cheek.

"And why-" He hesitates, not sure he wants to hear Seonghwa's answer to the silly question he is about to ask. "Why did they never cross the bridge? Wouldn’t they have crossed if they were curious?"

Seonghwa is silent for a few seconds.

"Maybe they were in a similar situation to yours. You’re curious too, no? Yet you haven’t dared step foot in the direction of the river. Maybe they tried meeting you halfway, but you couldn’t see it. Maybe they can tell you aren’t in the right state of mind to connect, that you need more time to be ready, that maybe you need to be the one to initiate," he ends up answering, voice laced with an emotion Hongjoong can’t identify.

He feels like there is something he should be picking up on, but can’t figure out what, so he just remains in Seonghwa's arms and makes an agreeing humming sound.

Everything sounds so simple and clear when Seonghwa explains it. Hongjoong wishes he had the same ability of bringing sensible arguments into his chaos of thoughts and feelings, leaving them no choice but to submit to logic and settle down.

They stay in their embrace for a little while longer, just soaking up the comfort, until Hongjoong looks at the time.

"Hey, I think you should start getting ready if we want to meet the others in the lobby on time," he points out quietly, pinching Seonghwa's side. It makes his friend squirm, and he separates from Hongjoong with a quiet squeal of surprise.

Hongjoong misses the warmth immediately.

"Yeah, I probably should."

At first, Seonghwa just stands there, like he wants to say something else. He doesn’t, though, and it becomes a little awkward. It's just for a few seconds, because then Seonghwa clears his throat and grabs the clothes laid out on his side of the bed, heading for the bathroom.

"Seonghwa!" Hongjoong calls out just before Seonghwa can close the door.

His friend stops and meets his eyes, looking ready to drop everything if Hongjoong asks him to. It makes Hongjoong's heart stutter.

"Thank you. For being my friend. For being there for me, and for listening, and for making sense of my mess."

Thank you for the hug I wouldn’t ask for, even though I needed it, and the reassurance, and having grace with me, and for loving my chaos, for taking care of me, he wants to add, but the words are stuck in his throat.

They feel too intimate to be said in passing like this.

Seonghwa smiles at him, bright and real. It makes his eyes crinkle into crescent moons.

Hongjoong thinks he might explode any second now, and all that will be left behind is his love for Seonghwa.

"Anything for you, Joongie."

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

For dinner, the group decided to check out a Korean barbecue place, which is close to the hotel. After barely thirty minutes of walking, they find themselves on West Peachtree Street.

It evokes a few stray giggles and eyerolls, the trolley tour still fresh in their minds.

"Hey, guys, did you know there are about seventy more streets like this one?" Jongho puts on his best imitation of the tour guide, and everyone grins. Wooyoung snorts and clings to their youngest, who immediately grimaces, seemingly regretting all of his life choices.

Yeosang, who’d been on Jongho's arm before, leaves his boyfriend alone in his misery, choosing instead to watch the scene unfold next to San.

"You should be funny more often, Hojongie, it's cute." Wooyoung presses his cheek against his victims, who rolls his eyes and just lets him.

"I’m funny all the time," Jongho defends himself, lamely pushing at the weight on his arm. "Just because the jokes fly over your head doesn’t mean I don’t make any."

Wooyoung gasps dramatically. "Are you calling me stupid," he asks, clutching a hand to his chest. "You wound me, Jongho."

Seonghwa, who is standing next to Hongjoong, mumbles something about going ahead and reserving a table and promptly enters the restaurant together with Yunho and Mingi.

Hongjoong takes one look at the remaining three people and decides to follow his friends inside. He will not be dealing with this.

The rest of them will surely join them soon enough.

Throughout their meal, Hongjoong's eyes keep straying to Seonghwa, only to find him already looking more often than not. This is nothing new, and they’ve already been teased about it by their friends, but Hongjoong's cheeks burn all the same.

He never manages to hold eye contact for more than two seconds.

Dinner is fun, though, and the atmosphere only gets livelier the more they drink, the conversation animated and never stagnant.

Hongjoong prides himself on holding a fair amount of liquor before it gets to him, and though he likes to indulge here and there, especially with friends, he won’t go that far tonight.

He can’t afford it, not when Seonghwa is out with them, and especially not when he has to share a bed with him later.

Who knows what intoxicated Hongjoong might do, what shameless things he might say.

No, it’s too risky, and Hongjoong would prefer to keep his friendship and what little of his dignity he has left.

Seonghwa doesn’t drink much either, which is to say barely anything.

It’s not abnormal, per se, but usually, he indulges their friends a little more. It’s not often that he agrees to alcohol at all, so when he does, he tends to reach a decently tipsy level at least. Tonight, though, he declines after the usual first drink.

Hongjoong wonders if it has anything to do with their sleeping arrangement.

Their friends obviously hold no such inhibitions, but none of them go overboard. San is probably the most affected out of all of them, the lightweight that he is, but it’s not too bad.

They leave the restaurant with no embarrassing incidents and a bill that stayed within budget, which is a huge win in Hongjoong's book.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Their fun night out ends up leading them to the Atlanta Ferris Wheel, which originally had not been on the agenda anywhere, but Yunho kept insisting that they go.

Apparently you can't see Atlanta without a visit to the Ferris Wheel.

Hongjoong thinks this is just a ploy from Yunho to get Mingi to cling to him—not that he's judging or anything. The man is clearly desperate.

And Hongjoong gets something out of it too, because Seonghwa doesn't want to go on the Ferris Wheel, and what kind of best friend would Hongjoong be if he left him all by himself?

There's a park right by the Ferris Wheel, which Hongjoong had actually looked at previously, and after alerting their friends, Hongjoong and Seonghwa decide to take a walk there.

They joke and debrief the day a bit, before settling into a comfortable silence.

All that's left are the trees swaying in the breeze, the distant chatter of the people by the Ferris Wheel, and the splash of the water fountains further ahead.

The air has gotten colder with the absence of the sun, and they're walking so close to each other that they bump shoulders every now and then.

Hongjoong wishes he could extend this moment into eternity, especially when a warm hand finds his and intertwines their fingers. His cheeks are on fire, and his heartbeat accelerates, but he squeezes Seonghwa's hand anyways.

They find a bench eventually, and they sit close enough that Hongjoong feels the body heat Seonghwa radiates. Their thighs are touching, knees bumping, and all the while, Seonghwa does not retract his hand.

The moon shines down on them through the clouds, and Hongjoong wants to freeze time.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Once they return back to the hotel, Hongjoong has a hard time falling asleep.

Seonghwa is lying next to him, facing the other side, and Hongjoong just stares at his back. Watches as his upper body slowly rises and sinks with his slow breathing.

He sighs.

If only he weren't such a coward.

He decides to get up. Maybe walking around a little will do the trick.

Hongjoong is just about to put his shoes on when Seonghwa stirs on the bed, making him freeze mid motion.

"Hongjoong?"

Seonghwa's voice is thick with sleep, and he sounds very confused at the scene that is unfolding in front of him.

Hongjoong hopes that maybe he didn't see him and will fall asleep again.

He is granted no such thing.

"Why are you up, Joongie? Come back to bed…"

Oh, it's really over for him. The familiarity with which Seonghwa calls him, as if them sleeping in the same bed were a regular occurrence, makes his heart squeeze painfully, and he feels himself falling deeper.

"I can't sleep, Seonghwa," he tries, but even in the darkness he can make out how this makes Seonghwa frown.

If he asks again, Hongjoong doesn't think he can stay strong.

"I won't sleep either if you're not next to me. Let me join you, then."

He doesn't get to think about the implications of this. Seonghwa moves to get up, but Hongjoong is by the bed within seconds, holding out his hands to prevent him from doing so.

"No! No, I wouldn't want to keep you awake. I'll be okay, I promise."

Seonghwa gives him a look of disbelief, and Hongjoong knows their soulmate mind reader connection has given him away yet again.

"No, you won't. Either you let me join you in whatever you were about to do, or you come back to bed."

In the end, Hongjoong relents and rejoins Seonghwa in the bed.

His friend decides to make things infinitely harder for him by cuddling up to Hongjoong, an arm loosely thrown over his stomach while he rests his head close to Hongjoong's shoulder.

He sighs contentedly, and Hongjoong can practically feel Seonghwa's eyelids droop. It doesn't take five minutes before the man is fast asleep again.

Hongjoong wishes it was that easy.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The next day is pretty relaxed.

The eight friends eat breakfast together, then visit the Martin Luther King Jr. National Historical Park.

They spend two hours there, taking everything in, looking at all the sites, and reading the plaques and other texts. It is a very informative visit, and Hongjoong doesn't even have the mind to overthink the fact that he and Seonghwa (again) hold hands throughout, because he is much too busy processing everything he is seeing and all the new information he is learning.

On the way back to the hotel, they take a detour to see the rainbow crosswalks on Piedmont Avenue and Tenth Street.

"I can't believe they turned Hongjoong into a crosswalk! This is so tragic, what are we going to do without him?" Wooyoung laments as they keep driving, making Yeosang and San snicker.

Hongjoong, the driver, looks at Wooyoung through the rear view mirror incredulously.

"You literally have a boyfriend? And what about the other six queer people that are on this trip?"

Wooyoung just shrugs.

"I don't see any of them pining after their best friend without doing anything about it, so you—" He stops himself, thinks for a second. "Wait, I have to make a minor adjustment. I can't believe they would turn Hongjoong and Mingi into a crosswalk!"

San and Yeosang grin and high five Wooyoung, while Hongjoong just rolls his eyes fondly.

They have Lunch at a grill place nearby, then they're all free to do whatever they want before leaving for Jacksonville in the evening.

Seonghwa, Wooyoung, and Mingi decide to visit the Botanical Gardens, with the other five staying back at the hotel.

Hongjoong invites them all to his room, intending to just laze around and have everyone do their thing. What he gets instead is four serious faces and the feeling that this was planned.

"So," he says, awkwardly fidgeting with his rings, "beautiful day, right?"

Jongho sighs. "Hyung, we wanted to talk to you. About-"

"About Seonghwa, yeah, I figured," Hongjoong interrupts.

Yunho gets up from the floor to sit next to Hongjoong on the bed. "About you and how you're feeling, actually. Which I guess includes Seonghwa-hyung, but not in the way you meant."

Hongjoong looks around, at all four of his friends faces, which each show varying degrees of concern, softness, and love.

He lets out a heavy breath and runs a hand through his hair.

"We didn't get a chance to talk since the Mountain Tour, so we wanted to take this opportunity," Yeosang adds after a minute. "Before you talk, I want to clarify something in the name of all six of us: We will never force or pressure you into doing something you do not want. We have been pretty insistent recently, and just want you to know that we are sorry.

"We never mean to make you feel guilty or stressed for not knowing how to deal with your feelings, what to do about them. Of course we just want the best for you, but we should try being more sensible in our approaches."

Hongjoong's heart swells with love as he listens, and knows tears aren't far.

San, Yeosang, Yunho, and Jongho all look at him apologetically with matching puppy eyes, and oh, he adores them so much it hurts.

"Thank you for clearing that up, even though I know your hearts are in the right place. I love you all dearly, and I know you love me too, so I could never condemn you for wanting to see me happy."

At that, San jumps up to attach himself to Hongjoong's free side.

"Hyung, you deserve to be happy all the time and forever," he mumbles, and Hongjoong bumps their heads together affectionately.

"Thank you, Sannie. The thing is… I want to do something about my feelings. I've been wanting to. I just—I get so scared when I think about it. I know Seonghwa, and I know he won't look at me differently if I tell him how I feel. When I'm feeling really optimistic, I can even imagine him reciprocating.

"But then come the variables I can't control. What happens after the confession? What happens if we get together and I end up being a terrible boyfriend? I do not know, and not knowing scares me."

Hongjoong looks at his hands, thinking back to the few times he's allowed himself to dream of a life with Seonghwa as his boyfriend.

Each time, he was snapped out of it by doubts, by his own brain making him the villain.

It's Jongho who speaks up next.

"How are you and Seonghwa-hyung now? Are you a terrible friend?"

Hongjoong pauses. Thinks.

If he really considers it, he would say he does a pretty good job as Best Friend, even though he makes mistakes sometimes.

Like recently, lying to Seonghwa about his feelings and therefore making him feel like a bad friend.

"No, I'm not. We are as always," he eventually responds.

"Are you a terrible person?"

Hongjoong is about to say something, but his friends cut him off.

"No, you're not."

"You are a wonderful person, even though you can be stupid."

"We wouldn't be here if you were horrible."

And though he would not have answered the question with a definite Yes, he would not have answered it with a definite No either, so Hongjoong is grateful for his friends jumping in like this.

He is always his own worst critic, be it regarding his creations or himself.

It is silent for a minute.

"Okay, I guess I'm not too bad," Hongjoong ends up agreeing, causing the others to smile.

"Good. Now why would that change?"

Jongho is looking at Hongjoong, looking deep into his soul (or at least that's what it feels like).

"I understand your worries hyung, but you talk to Seonghwa about everything— well, almost everything, right? That's what makes you best friends, that's why you stay best friends, even though both of you make mistakes.

"It's why Yeosang and I are in a happy relationship. It's why Wooyoung and San are in a happy relationship. We all make mistakes in said relationships, but we talk, and we commit to each other, we choose to keep loving our partners and work through any issues—just like we would in a friendship.

"So I ask you: What would change, apart from the obvious?"

And Hongjoong realizes that he doesn't have an answer to that.

There is no reason why anything would change at all, aside from being more physically and emotionally affectionate and intimate.

There is no reason why they would stop resolving conflict and going forward the same way they do now.

They wouldn't stop being friends just because they became a couple.

And this is all assuming Seonghwa reciprocates Hongjoong's feelings! If he does not, there would be even less reason for change.

"Think about it, hyung. You don't have to do anything you aren't ready for, but take all of this into consideration, yeah? We love you, and we will be by your side no matter what."

Jongho gets up to initiate a hug, and Hongjoong gladly accepts it, even though it ends up with all five of them in a cuddle pile on the bed.

"Thank you guys. I'm really grateful to have all of you in my life," he mutters into where his face is smushed against Yeosang's shoulder. "I love you."

San coos, and Yunho playfully replies: "Say that to Seonghwa-hyung, not us," which has them breaking into laughter.

Hongjoong lets the warmth of his friend's love encompass him, and he sighs contentedly.

This is what life is all about.

Later, when Hongjoong is watching Yunho play a game on his PlayStation (he is still not sure how he managed to bring and also connect it so easily), he starts thinking about how to proceed.

There is some lingering hesitation, but he feels a lot more encouraged to talk to Seonghwa about his feelings. He is finally at peace knowing that whatever happens, it will be okay, thanks to his friends bringing clarity into his foggy thoughts.

The real question is: when and how does Hongjoong do it?

He can't just spring that on Seonghwa tonight, that would be too much—for both his friend and himself.

Does Hongjoong wait until they're back in Korea? But that's still a few days away, and he isn't sure he can keep it up that long.

How does one pick the right time, though?

And what does he even say?

Hongjoong wants his confession to be more than just a quick admission—he wants Seonghwa to know just how real his feelings are, how special he is to Hongjoong, that he never wants to know a future that doesn't have Seonghwa in it.

How does he manage that without blanking and stuttering?

"Completely unrelated to our earlier talk," Hongjoong starts, which gets him the attention of all four men in the room, "how does one confess to their best friend?"

San gasps, and Yunho pauses his game. Jongho and Yeosang end their quiet conversation to be a part of this new one. Hongjoong kind of wants to disappear into the ground.

"Well," San starts, a tender smile forming on his face, "I showed up in front of Wooyoung's house with flowers, a Chrome Hearts necklace, and all the love letters I had privately written over the years, and then I told him how he is the most important person in my life and I'd rather die than not tell him that I love him."

Yunho fake gags, earning him a Look from San.

"Hey, I don't want to hear it from you, you make heart eyes at Mingi every chance you get."

This just has Yunho blushing and grumbling begrudgingly.

"For Jongho and me, it kind of just—happened. We were out on a walk, laughing at something stupid, and he looked so beautiful in the late afternoon sun that I just blurted it out. That I liked him more than just friends. And Jongho… well, he was stunned, but he said it right back." Yeosang looks like he is reliving the memory, an adoring look on his face as he reaches for Jongho's hand.

Hongjoong smiles at the scene, happy that his friends found each other in all the ways that matter.

He hopes he can talk about his confession to Seonghwa like this one day.

"So what I'm hearing is that there isn't a right way to go about it," Hongjoong concludes.

His friends nod sheepishly.

"Yeah, kind of. Sorry, we were no help at all," San says, an apologetic look on his face.

Hongjoong doesn't feel annoyed by this, though. San says they weren't helpful, but Hongjoong thinks they were more than.

Their answers helped him realize that he shouldn't worry too much, that he shouldn't overthink it, because there is no One Perfect Confession.

Why stress himself unnecessarily? (A thought he's never had before.)

"You were plenty of help, San, thank you," he finally replies earnestly, giving the man's hair a ruffle. "Now, which one of you hasn't packed for Jacksonville yet?"

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Their arrival in Jacksonville is rather unceremonious.

It is two in the morning, and all Hongjoong wants to do is sink to the floor and sleep for a day or two. He drove one of the cars here, and while he’d been making sure they wouldn’t die on the road, everyone else got their power naps in.

Even so, they all slink out of the vehicles and into the Airbnb they’d booked with sluggish movements, no one uttering a single word. It’s unusual—not even Wooyoung has something to say—but Hongjoong simply does not have the energy to be happy about the silence; he's much too tired to care.

Sleeping arrangements just happen. Everyone wants to hit the pillows, so they end up wherever with whoever.

Hongjoong finds himself in the single Futon together with Seonghwa.

Not on purpose, of course!

His friend was already there when he slipped in, and it is too late to make a fuss about it now—not that Hongjoong wants to make a fuss about it.

It’s simply that now, so close together again, he can feel Seonghwa's body heat, can hear the soft breaths leaving his slightly parted lips (Hongjoong can’t see Seonghwa's face, obviously, but he knows his friend doesn’t sleep with his mouth closed, like, ever), can feel any small movement the other makes.

What makes it even worse is that, when Hongjoong breathes in, he can smell the vanilla soap from the hotel in Atlanta and a scent that is just Seonghwa— the sweet combination of blackberry and something distantly floral and musky. It mixes with the strawberry from his shampoo, and their proximity drives Hongjoong crazy.

All the heaviness in his eyelids is gone.

His brain can only think about Seonghwa and how they’re so, so close. One simple movement and they would be spooning again. His arm is mere inches away from that sinful waist.

If he scooted forward a tiny bit, he could bury his face in Seonghwa's hair, or between his shoulder blades, and the whole length of their bodies would be pressed together.

The implications are enough to bring heat to Hongjoong's cheeks and set alight a flame in his stomach.

It’s oh so tempting, and Hongjoong's sleep addled mind desperately wants to give in.

He hasn't confessed yet, though, and it would be very out of character to act on his desires now.

It takes all of Hongjoong's willpower to turn around, but he does it.

Without his friend in his direct line of sight, without that intoxicating scent right in his nose, Hongjoong's eyes start drooping, despite his thoughts racing in his head.

It doesn’t take long for him to fall into a dreamless slumber.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Hongjoong wakes up to quiet giggling and the faint click of a camera. It takes a minute for his brain to boot up, but once it’s online, he realizes the situation he’s in.

Him and Seonghwa are sharing the (rather large, to be fair) futon the Airbnb owners had provided—but that is not the problem.

No, the problem is that they’re cuddling. Seonghwa is splayed halfway over Hongjoong, head resting on his chest, knee wedged in between Hongjoong's legs, and his one hand gently holding onto Hongjoong's bicep, as if preventing him from running away. The soft touch sends trickles of electricity down Hongjoong's spine.

Worst of all, though: his own right hand is gripping Seonghwa's waist rather tightly for someone who was asleep just a minute ago.

All of this would actually not be too much of an issue, if it weren’t for the six people standing around them in a circle, phones in hand (except for Wooyoung, who is taking yet another picture with his actual camera) and teasing grins decorating their faces.

"Sleep well?" Yunho asks, wiggling his eyebrows, and everyone dissolves into giggles again.

Hongjoong shoots them a glare, which is probably not very effective, considering he just woke up and likely has a terrible case of bed hair.

"I will personally make sure none of you make it home," he threatens lamely, still not getting up.

It would be in his best interest to get out of this predicament sooner rather than later, lest Seonghwa wakes up and Hongjoong gives himself away before he even has the chance to confess (as if every look he sends isn't a hundred I love you's), but it’s so warm, and it feels so right, and Seonghwa is still peacefully sleeping.

"Sure, whatever you say, captain." The old nickname makes Hongjoong groan, and he flips Wooyoung a middle finger.

"Don’t you guys have things to do? As far as I know you wanted to go swimming, no? Go pack your shit." It’s a weak attempt at getting his friends to leave them alone, but fortunately, it works—for now.

Hongjoong knows better than to think himself safe.

Once the six menaces have dispersed, he extricates his left arm out of Seonghwa's hold. He entertains the idea of leaving the futon and only waking his friend then, but an overwhelming part of Hongjoong immediately disagrees.

And that’s why he doesn’t loosen his hold on Seonghwa's waist, instead gently nudging him with his free hand.

"Seonghwa," he calls out softly, and Hongjoong's heart squeezes with cuteness aggression when his friend stirs and raises his head to look up at him, bleary eyed and a sleepy pout on his face.

He smiles at Seonghwa, ignoring how his nerves are on fire now that they’re both awake and still very much cuddling.

"Did you sleep well?" The question gets an incoherent mumble in response, his friend dropping onto his chest again, and Hongjoong's smile widens.

Seonghwa is usually a morning person, so him being cranky like this is just extra adorable.

"They took pictures. Of us, I mean," Hongjoong tells him, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb in circles on Seonghwa's waist.

"Mmnd did you tell 'em to fuck off?" His friend replies, words muffled where his face is pressed into the fabric of Hongjoong's shirt. He can feel the vibrations and the movement of Seonghwa's mouth against his chest, and it’s doing terrible things to him.

He manages a chuckle nonetheless.

"Something along those lines."

That gets an approving hum, and Hongjoong really needs to stand up to prevent them from getting into an awkward situation.

He squeezes Seonghwa's waist- something he usually only dreams of- and gently nudges him off.

"Let’s get up, sleepyhead," Hongjoong urges, "we’ve got a beach to visit."

Seonghwa grumbles, but he lets Hongjoong stand, and Hongjoong only allows himself one look at his friend in the futon, taking in his reddened cheeks and ears, the black hair curling gently around his cheekbones, looking stupidly perfect despite being sleep ruffled.

He looks at those pouty lips ready to be kissed, Seonghwa's shirt riding up his stomach ever so slightly, revealing so little yet so much, and Hongjoong needs to take a deep breath.

He averts his eyes and clears his throat quietly.

"Okay, um, I’ll be in the bathroom. See you for breakfast!"

And then he bolts, leaving a sleepy Seonghwa and all the sinful thoughts behind.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

They don’t end up having breakfast at the Airbnb, which Hongjoong had intentionally planned this way.

It makes him feel embarrassed though, because he forgot about that when he fled from Seonghwa earlier, and now they’re squeezed next to each other in the car—clearly not having breakfast at the Airbnb.

His friend hasn’t shown any signs of caring about it though, so Hongjoong relaxes the longer they drive.

He should really stop overthinking.

It’s some way to the beach and like intended, they pick up food on the way.

The drive is uncomplicated, only marked by Hongjoong's increased inability to be normal in such proximity to Seonghwa.

He blushes more than once, and his thoughts stray several times when his friend makes pleased noises while eating. He stares a lot, and he’s sure he stuttered more than is acceptable for him.

Hongjoong feels like a mess, and Seonghwa must either be blissfully oblivious or ignorant on purpose, because he doesn’t say anything, and doesn’t let on if he notices Hongjoong's internal battle.

Either way, they arrive at the beach unscathed and Hongjoong is only a little bit embarrassed.

Finding a spot is not too difficult. There’s a good number of people here already, but there's still enough space for the eight of them to comfortably spread their stuff, all the younger men ridding themselves of their shirts immediately.

Seonghwa reminds everyone to put on sunscreen before they run into the water, and the boys do as instructed without complaint, though they bounce around a lot while helping each other.

Hongjoong watches with an amused smile. San almost elbows Yeosang, who had been right next to him when Wooyoung decided tickling his boyfriend was a great idea, and Jongho gets Mingi's hand thrown in his face more than once.

Eventually, they’re all ready and gleefully running into the waves, teasing each other and laughing loudly.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong are the only ones left on their littered blankets, watching with adoring smiles.

A few seconds later, and quietly clearing his throat, Hongjoong starts taking his own shirt off.

He isn’t the most muscular or fit guy, but he does work out here and there, and he’s comfortable with his physique as is.

Sometimes it’s still kind of nerve wracking to be running around with his naked torso for everyone to see, though, especially on a beach with so many people.

One can imagine Hongjoong's surprise and embarrassment, then, when he glances at his best friend, only to find him blatantly staring.

He can almost feel the way Seonghwa's gaze rakes over him, and it causes a fiery blush to break out on his face, as well as a shiver to go down his spine. This is highly unusual.

In an attempt to escape this feeling and cool off, so there’s no… accidents, Hongjoong takes a step toward the ocean.

He is held back by a hand on his wrist, though and, upon seeing his confused expression, Seonghwa tuts in disappointment.

"No water without sunscreen, mister. Come here."

Hongjoong wants to say he hesitated, because Seonghwa's hands on his bare skin does not bode well, but he’d be lying.

He complies easily, sitting down with his back to Seonghwa, who is kneeling on the ground. The images this inspires in Hongjoong are quickly chased away with a broom.

The two of them are quiet as Seonghwa starts lathering the sunscreen over Hongjoong's back.

It’s oddly intimate.

Seonghwa is very gentle, working his hands carefully. Every soft glide of his palm over Hongjoong's skin has him breaking out in goosebumps, and it’d be embarrassing if it didn’t feel so good.

Hongjoong's cheeks heat up when his friend slowly works down towards his waist and his trunks, even though he knew this would happen.

In an ideal world, Hongjoong would be receiving this kind of attention regularly.

In an ideal world, he would have confessed ages ago, and would now get to feel Seonghwa's hands on him all the time, and be allowed to touch him all he wants in return.

In an ideal world, they’d be looking for a private spot right about now, because this massage is evoking feelings in Hongjoong that will soon be too much for them to go away by just cooling off.

Seonghwa's hands are heavenly. He is so skilled, and it really takes everything Hongjoong has not to imagine them elsewhere.

A soft sigh falls from his lips, and it feels like Seonghwa's motions falter for a second, but Hongjoong is sure he imagined that.

"All done, turn around."

Hongjoong opens his eyes (when did he close them?) and does as he’s told, then freezes.

Does this mean Seonghwa wants to do his front, too? He’s not sure he can take that.

What if he gets hard? That’d be horrific, and he’d have to die on the spot.

Hongjoong isn’t sure whether to feel relief or disappointment when Seonghwa hands him the bottle with an unreadable expression.

He is quick to finish applying the sunscreen on the rest of his body that needs it, then moves for the water once again.

In a moment of deja-vu, Hongjoong is stopped, but this time by a voice.

"Aren’t you forgetting something?"

Wracking his brain for what he possibly could’ve forgotten, Hongjoong turns around— and is greeted with the sight of shirtless Seonghwa, toned body glowing under the late morning sun, holding out the sunscreen for him to take.

A wave of heat rolls over Hongjoong.

Seonghwa wants him to help with the sunscreen.

That means touching Seonghwa's naked back.

Holy fuck.

He should say no—he really should—but Hongjoong's body moves of its own accord, taking him to his friend.

They return to a seated position, though this time Seonghwa is with his back towards Hongjoong.

Are his ears red?

Hongjoong's hands are shaking ever so slightly when he opens the bottle and squeezes the sunscreen onto his palm. It’s really difficult to think normal thoughts, so Hongjoong tries not to think at all.

Seonghwa's shoulders are warm under his hands.

Hongjoong can feel the muscles moving whenever his friend shifts a little, and he realizes a second too late that he needs to actually start massaging the sunscreen into Seonghwa's skin if he doesn’t want it to become awkward.

Keeping his mind off other scenarios in which he could be running his hands over Seonghwa's bare back proves to be a challenge of the highest difficulty.

It comes with the familiar feelings of guilt and shame, just like every other time Hongjoong thinks of his friend in anything but an innocent and friendly context, and he tries to take a deep breath without being too noticeable. He really needs to get that confession out soon.

As Hongjoong makes sure the sunscreen is evenly distributed over Seonghwa's skin, the latter tortures him by simply existing.

When Hongjoong reaches his waist, his friend releases a deep sigh that is a little too close to a moan, and Hongjoong immediately bans the sound from his head.

He is royally fucked if he doesn't get a grip.

After what feels like eternity, Hongjoong is finally freed from his torment. Seonghwa thanks him, and they take off towards their friends together.

Halfway, they start racing, and reach everyone else laughing and out of breath.

"This is no fair, your legs are longer than mine," Hongjoong complains as Seonghwa proclaims his victory, "and stronger, too!"

Seonghwa throws him a smirk, wet hair hanging into his face and water droplets splashing around him with the sun shining onto him just so, and Hongjoong wishes he could take a picture.

Seonghwa looks stupidly hot, and Hongjoong needs to—

"Yeah, well, are you gonna do anything about it?"

It takes a second for him to remember what Seonghwa is replying to, but once it registers, Hongjoong doesn't know what to do with himself.

This could mean so many things, but Hongjoong's horrible, traitorous brain, of course supplies him with the visual of Seonghwa's naked legs on a bed, trembling from—

"Water Fight!"

Hongjoong has never been more thankful for Wooyoung's interference. Who knows what dangerous grounds his mind would have wandered to otherwise.

One thing is definitely clearer than ever to Hongjoong though: he needs to get his shit together, pronto.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

After a couple hours at the beach and lunch at a nearby diner, the eight friends return to the Airbnb, where they take turns showering. The day is supposed to be relaxed, but they have one more destination on the list for today: The Cummer Museum.

When Hongjoong announces the name, the group dissolves into badly disguised snickers—and Hongjoong is ashamed to admit that that includes him.

"What do you do there? Cum?" Wooyoung asks, and the joke is so lame that it shuts all of them right up again. Wooyoung huffs and side-eyes Yeosang next to him. "Come on, someone had to say it."

"Sure," Hongjoong says, "if you think so. Get inside now."

"That's what she said," Yunho mutters as he passes Hongjoong, and the eight of them enter the museum giggling like school boys.

The exhibition they're displaying at the moment is called What Remains by Ashley Woodson Bailey, which consists of photographs of flowers, together with transluscent grasscloth panels to make the images feel like they're fluctuating between being just that (images) and objects.

Hongjoong is immediately entranced by the exhibition, looking at each photograph with awe, wondering how he can translate these feelings into music, a song maybe.

One of the first ones he looks at—Wonder—painfully reminds him of university.

Back then, he was just coming to terms with the fact that he loved Seonghwa and didn't just have a crush on him, and he fell deep into overanalysing and overthinking every little thing, his mind occupied with thoughts of Seonghwa 24/7:

I wonder what he's doing right now…

Is he meeting someone after class?

Why did he dress so nicely today?

These and many more would circle around in his mind, and they made him nervous and stressed to the point that his friends staged an intervention to get him help.

The photograph perfectly captures the darkness he was lost in, how he tried so hard to hold on to any sliver of Seonghwa he could get, him being the only light his world revolved around, without realising that it was straining their friendship.

Thinking back, Hongjoong feels sympathy for his younger self. Being romantically and sexually attracted to someone was very new to him then, and the Someone being his best friend on top of that was a lot for him to handle at once.

He's glad those times are over, and that he has grown and learned since.

Towards the end of the exhibition, Hongjoong finds a photograph that strikes him with a clarity he usually only ever feels when producing.

The flowers in the picture are bright and beautiful, and they've been digitally altered so they blend together in a gorgeous mix of pink, blue, purple, and white. It's a stunning image, and Hongjoong can't help but think that this is what his love would look like if it were turned into art: It's not perfect, it's not very defined, but it's real and it's there, and it fills every nook and cranny with colour. It bursts with life, and it's anything but quiet.

Hongjoong looks at the description tag. Coquette is what this work is called. He writes it down and makes a mental note to buy a print when he gets back to Korea.

On the way to check out the gardens, he is already humming a tune and testing out lyrics in his head.

"Did the muse come for a visit?"

Hongjoong flinches at the sudden voice in his ear, and it's only when he's already turned around that he realises how close Seonghwa is standing by him. It's already a hot day, but the proximity brings a different kind of heat to Hongjoong's body.

"Sorry, you were just so immersed in this-" Seonghwa leans down to get a better look at the plant, giving Hongjoong a moment to breathe, "- in this Iris, I couldn't help but sneak up on you."

He has the audacity to look like a kicked puppy, and Hongjoong wonders how anyone gets anything done when Seonghwa is around.

"It's fine. Coincidentally, yes, she did stop by," he eventually replies, trying his best to keep his eyes away from Seonghwa's full lips right in front of him. "I already wrote down some notes. Wanna see?"

Seonghwa's eyes light up, just like Hongjoong knew they would. "Yes, please! I would love to."

And that's how they pass the time until everyone has seen enough: huddled close together, leaning over Hongjoongs phone and bouncing ideas off of each other.

Hongjoong wonders if Seonghwa can sense where the inspiration came from.

It wouldn't be a first, and he can feel his friend's intense gaze on him from time to time, so he's just waiting for a comment—but none comes.

After a while, they gather by the entrance and drive back to the Airbnb, leaving behind the beautiful exhibition—and Hongjoong's nerves.

He will find a moment to confess tonight.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Hongjoong decides to join Seonghwa outside.

Cool night air caresses his cheeks when he steps over the threshold of the balcony, and an involuntary shudder goes down his spine.

The days might be warm, bordering on hot even, but when the sun sets, none of that warmth can be found anywhere—except in the smile Seonghwa gives him when Hongjoong stands next to him at the railing. They stand in silence for a while, gazing at the sky that spans the globe like a comforting blanket.

Stars are far and few between, what with the light pollution and all, but Hongjoong doesn’t need stars in the sky when he’s got the brightest one right next to him.

He tries to discreetly look at Seonghwa out of the corner of his eye.

His gaze trails the delicate slope of his nose, his plush lips, the strong jawline.

He marvels at the high cheekbones that fit Seonghwa's face so well, at the way his hair falls and curls ever so slightly by his jaw, how his eyes are filled with so much wonder.

Seonghwa looks straight out of a painting.

The silver shine of the moon illuminates his face in the most ethereal way, makes his hair shine, gives him a divine aura—almost as if he himself is glowing. It’s like laying your eyes upon an otherworldly deity, and Hongjoong thinks he’ll never get tired of the sight.

He’d sit at Seonghwa's feet with worship on his lips if it meant he’d get to see him like this.

"The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?"

Seonghwa's question startles Hongjoong out of his reverie, though he’d been anticipating it.

It had become their thing over the years, ever since the first time they’d looked at the starry night sky together.

Every time, without fail, Seonghwa would ask him this. Even if the moon was nowhere to be seen. And every time, without fail, Hongjoong would answer.

"Yes, it is very beautiful."

Yet the moon is never what Hongjoong is talking about. Tonight is no different.

The words leave his mouth as no more than a whisper, his eyes transfixed on Seonghwa's side profile.

If anyone could be the moon, it would be Seonghwa, he thinks.

Seonghwa, who is calm and reassuring when everything else seems to be chaotic and overwhelming, a rock amidst the thrashing river.

Seonghwa, who chooses to be gentle and kind,  who is humble beyond measure, and will give anyone the benefit of the doubt.

Seonghwa, who sees the world with such wonder, with such joy, and treats everyone and everything with respect.

Seonghwa, whose soft touch resembles that of pale moonlight kissing your skin, who’s tender gaze alone makes you feel comforted.

Seonghwa, who always reflects everyone else’s sunshine, brightening even the darkest of nights.

At the same time, though, Hongjoong thinks, Seonghwa is a star.

He doesn’t just reflect other people's sunshine—he glows brightly all on his own, too.

He’s Hongjoong's North Star, guiding him home when he feels lost, giving him a sense of security and direction when everything else fails.

He’s Hongjoong's favourite constellation, always the first and most beautiful thing he looks for in the sky, the one thing that can comfort him and bring him joy when nothing else does.

And Seonghwa is the sun.

Warming Hongjoong's face whenever he shows that radiant smile, bringing light wherever he goes. Flowers and love grow in his footsteps, and the birds sing just for him.

Seonghwa is everything to Hongjoong.

"What are you thinking about?"

Hongjoong averts his gaze automatically, even though Seonghwa is still looking at the sky.

He feels the telltale warmth of a blush creeping up his cheeks.

In his startled state, Hongjoong blurts out the truth.

"You."

Seonghwa looks at him, then, and Hongjoong dares to look back. Where he gets the courage from, he doesn’t know.

They lock eyes, and it’s like time stops just for them.

Seonghwa's gaze is searching, deep, vulnerable. He scans Hongjoong's face in silence, trying to find the joke, the sarcasm. But there is none.

"What about me?"

The question leaves Seonghwa's lips quiet as a breath, but his voice is stable.

Like he knows the answer, but wants Hongjoong to say it.

Like he knows what Hongjoong feels, and is trying to tell him that he’ll stay anyway.

It doesn't scare Hongjoong the way it might've a week ago.

He is in uncharted territory here, captain of a ship that is usually navigated with a map, with coordinates he doesn't have, but he feels—

At peace.

Calm.

He knows the sea will guide him, and that gives him courage.

"You're—"

Hongjoong stops. Takes a breath.

He remembers the conversation he had with his friends in Atlanta.

There is no right way to confess.

"Breathtaking. You inspire my songs. You occupy my mind day and night. You entered my life quiet and gentle, like the morning sun, and you've carved yourself a permanent place in my heart."

Seonghwa turns away from the railing, his gaze set on Hongjoong in all its intensity.

Hongjoong's heart stutters, but he keeps his composure.

He is doing this now—no matter the outcome.

"I was thinking how beautiful you are. How you are the kindest soul I know, how your heart shines through in everything you do.

"How you are the closest thing to divinity on earth. How you are my moon, and my sun, and the only star I need. How you are my best friend, and I would never want to imagine a day where you aren't by my side.

"Your laugh follows me around in every rustle of leaves in the wind, and I am reminded of your gentle touch each time I look at the moon. I hear your voice in the gurgle of the water, the birds sing songs of your beauty, and the sun sets with the promise of loving you another day.

"You are the biggest blessing in my life. I am so grateful for you, always. Thank you for being my best friend, for always having grace with me, for loving my chaos, for taking care of me, for reading my mind when I'm too much of a coward to say what's bothering me.

"You are my everything, Seonghwa. I never want to let you go."

Seonghwa's hand comes up to cover his mouth, and Hongjoong thinks he sees tears forming in his eyes.

He looks down, fidgets with his rings.

Swallows his nerves.

"I'm crossing the bridge. I love you, Seonghwa. More than just a friend."

And then there is a tall frame hugging him tightly, and Hongjoong's arms automatically wrap around the slender waist, and he thinks about how he could stay like this forever.

"I love you," he whispers into Seonghwa's neck.

"Shut up," Seonghwa whispers back, and it makes Hongjoong's heart do a back flip. "Do you have any idea how long I've waited for this?"

He chuckles nervously. "Better late than never?"

Seonghwa makes a sound that could be a laugh or a sob. It's probably both.

They stay in their embrace for what feels like an eternity.

Hongjoong loses all sense of time when he is with Seonghwa.

Eventually, they part, and Seonghwa wipes his nose with a tissue (where did he even get that from?).

"I love you too," he says, his voice dripping with affection, "in case that wasn't clear."

Hongjoong looks at him adoringly, staring into the neverending galaxy that is Seonghwa's eyes, and for a couple seconds, they just stay like this.

Hongjoong feels… so many things.

He feels unbelievably grateful. For his friends, who never stray from his side and always support him, and push him out of his comfort zone. And for Seonghwa, who, despite everything, is still here, still by Hongjoong's side, who is his strongest anchor in this world.

 He feels happy. Beyond measure, beyond words, wanting to shout into the night that he's the happiest man on earth and take in this sensation until he's drunk on life.

He feels in love. In love with Seonghwa, with the moon, the stars, in love with earth, and with life. He thinks nothing could stop him. Hongjoong could move mountains right now if he wanted to.

It's only after a minute has passed that he notices Seonghwa's expecting gaze, and he gets shy under the attention, not used to the love he can see so clearly now. "What are you looking at me like that for?"

Seonghwa snorts incredulously, but the smile on his face is impossibly fond. "I asked if I could kiss you, silly."

Before Hongjoong can form a reply, his body is moving forward of its own accord, hands tenderly cupping Seonghwa's cheeks—and only seconds later, there are warm, full lips on his and the taste of cherry in his mouth.

Despite the many times Hongjoong has imagined kissing Seonghwa, nothing could ever come close to the reality of it. It's soft, it's sweet, and it's just so full of love that Hongjoong could cry.

He pours all of the feelings that accumulated over the years into this kiss, lets his hands wander from Seonghwa's cheeks down to his neck, then to his shoulders, stands on his tiptoes just so he can lean in even more.

Seonghwa, in turn, is gently holding onto Hongjoong's biceps, letting him lead the kiss and just following along—until they part for breath, softly gasping into each other's mouths. Hongjoong wants to say something, about how he's dreamed of this moment, how Seonghwa looks even prettier with flushed cheeks, but his brain is empty, any coherent thoughts having left the premises the second their lips connected. All he wants is to kiss Seonghwa again—and again, and again, and again.

So he does just that. Hongjoong pulls Seonghwa closer by the waist—relishing in the small, surprised noise this elicits out of him, revels in the feeling of their bodies being flush together—and then, he kisses Seonghwa. Fervently, passionately, letting the hunger consume him.

His hands wander again, finding the hem of Seonghwa's shirt—they explore the smooth skin underneath, feel a toned stomach, slide all the way up to his chest, where Hongjoong decides to tease his friend by lightly groping his pecs. He promptly whines into Seonghwa's mouth when, in retaliation, sneaky hands tug on his hair, and teeth nip at his bottom lip.

Feeling overwhelmed by the intense feelings that fire up his body, Hongjoong pulls away again, momentarily mesmerised by the string of saliva that still connects their lips.

"Everything okay?" comes Seonghwa's concerned voice, and Hongjoong is quick to reassure him with a fervent nod.

"It's just.. this is so surreal. A week ago I was agonising over my feelings for you, and now we're kissing and I don't have to feel ashamed for wanting you so bad."

Seonghwa has the audacity to look shy hearing this admission, and Hongjoong needs to have him right now.

"I kind of said this earlier, but… I've been waiting for you for a long time, too. I knew you had some things to figure out first, so I had no problem being patient, but god, Hongjoong…" Seonghwa looks at him like he is seeing the sun for the first time in decades, and Hongjoong wants to merge with him so they can never be apart. "Joongie, I really love you so much. And, if you're ready… I would like to be your boyfriend."

Hongjoong must've died and this must be heaven. He stares at Seonghwa, unblinking, mouth agape and his thoughts running a mile a minute. Seonghwa wants us to be a couple. He almost can't believe it.

It then occurs to him that he should respond instead of looking at the love of his life like an idiot, so he clears his throat and blinks a few times, clearing his mind. "Seonghwa, I would love for us to be boyfriends. Please, I want to be able to call you my boyfriend. I love you."

"It's settled then… boyfriend."

They smile at each other stupidly, giddy with love and excitement, and Hongjoong couldn't be happier.