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It started with a nickname.
The Hail Mary was on its usual route towards Erid. Nothing new, per se, unless you count the addition of an angel and demon pairing to their crew. But with an alien and mutated convict from another universe aboard, it was barely anything to blink twice at.
By the bay window, the convict and the demon admired the beauty of passing stars and nebulae. Though the demon often liked to make comments here and there, there was no conversation between them. They often spent their time like this, during those quiet moments where time seems to stand still.
Sometimes Crowley broke the silence, like right now.
He sat up, leaning close but staying a respectful distance to the man in front of him. The other didn’t seem to notice in favor of his cosmic view.
“Sssoooo,” he began, elongating the word in an attempt to segue into small talk. “You ever swung by Alpha Centauri?”
Simon, mildly startled from his stellar trance, redirects his gaze from the window. It took a bit for his mind to register the words.
“Alpha what?”
The demon scoffed. “Ya’ know, big, big ball of plasma.” He stretched out his lanky limbs in an exaggerated display to demonstrate the size. “Hot, burning thing, yea? Ring any bells?”
“Thanks, really narrows it down to every damn star in the universe.”
The lanky limbs were thrown up in exasperation and the demon laid back once more. In the face of this dramatic reaction, Simon put a little more effort in thinking about his query.
“But…”
The demon perked up at that. “Go on.”
“Grace might’ve said something bout’ it being on the way to Tau Ceti.” Simon said, shrugging it off like he didn’t memorize everything the scientist rambled on about. “He said it was near Earth though, so he was probably knocked out.”
Crowley nodded while considering this. “A shame. Alpha Centauri’s nice. Always wanted to go there. No nightlife to speak of.”
“And where have I heard that one before?”
A warm voice entered the room, disrupting their chat. It was full of mirth and delight, like those butterscotch candies grannies keep in their purses. You could say it was almost angelic.
Aziraphale appeared with Grace in tow, holding trays of baked goods. A mouthwatering aroma drifted through the ship’s atmosphere.
The two readily abandoned their conversation, rushing to greet their respective blondes.
“Angel!” They both called out.
“I was wondering where you’d scurried off–”
“What’ve you been workin’ on–”
Then like a game of Jinx, they said the same thing one more time.
“Wait. What’d you say?”
⋆˚☆˖°⋆｡° ✮˖ ࣪ ⊹⋆.˚⋆
How did they end up here?
On the most advanced technology mankind has ever made, two grown sort-of-men (a demon and a mutated dimension hopper) bicker about a nickname. Quite a common one at that. While Aziraphale and Grace watched them, the brownies and cookies and whatever else they’d whipped up getting colder by the second.
“Obviously,” Crowley began, legs crossed and a smug expression on his face like he’d already won. “My case is solid. Airtight, even. You see, my angel is a literal angel.”
Grace chimed in. “Can’t really argue with that, Si.” He clapped his hands, “That’s that! Who’s up for Lemon Drizzle?”
“Oh, me!” The angel raised his hand.
Aziraphale and Grace stood, eager to sweep this petty quarrel under the metaphorical rug—not an actual rug for microgravitational safety purposes,—when the latter was pulled back down by the amputee’s good arm.
“Not so fast, angel.” Simon said, deliberately using the nickname.
Aziraphale winced at the phrasing, his mind flashing back to one particular moment in 1967. He desperately hoped Crowley hadn’t caught that. Behind his shades, the demon’s eyes blazing its citrine hues.
“There’s a flaw in his logic.” Simon said flatly.
“Oh?” Crowley raised a brow. “And what’ssss that?” He asked, challenging him as he rose to his feet. Simon mirrored his actions and the two of them looked as though they were about to go head-to-head.
Grace began to panic inside. The Hail Mary was extremely durable, yes. A spacecraft born from the sheer determination and brilliance of the human race. But no matter the pressure, the journey, and whatever trouble that came its way, there was no guarantee the Hail Mary could withstand the consequential damages resulting from a fight between an actual demon from the depths of hell, with abilities that went against everything he ever knew and a martian that’s been doused in radiation a thousands times over what a regular person could ever take, with eel-like features that came of it.
Yea, no. Everyone else might survive, but as Rocky so eloquently puts it, the ‘leaky space blob’ sure as heck won’t!
Grace has never been more grateful for Rocky’s intrusive tendencies than this very moment when he barged in, breaking the tension in his lovable, rocky way.
“Grace! Grace mate! Grace friends!” Rocky energetically greeted.
The Eridian had yet to come up with a name for their unexpected visitors, so ‘Grace friends’ was a placeholder. Simon’s, on the other hand, was out of pure laziness. It was either that or ‘Second Grace.” Not that Simon cared what a rock alien called him anyway.
“Yes, Rocky!?” It came out more of an exclamation than a question.
“What everyone doing here, question?” Rocky tilted himself slightly in confusion.
Crowley and Simon paused to look at the Eridian, giving Aziraphale and Grace ample time to subdue them. The angel stood in front of the demon, acting as a barrier. If this didn’t work, he had half a mind to let his wings breathe a bit.
“We were about to eat some dessert, Rock,” Grace said, gently pulling Simon away by his sleeve to create distance.
“Eat? Rocky will eat too! Can Rocky show Grace friends how he eat?”
Grace nervously glanced around, knowing how the Eridian looks while eating. He didn’t want to scare off his new guests so soon.
“Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea—” He’s cut off by Aziraphale, already tugging Crowley along.
“We’d love to! Come, dear boy.”
“‘Aziraphale,” Crowley whinged, dragging out the last syllable. “I don’t wanna watch a bloody rock eat—”
“Nonsense! I’m sure it’s fascinating.”
“Rocky happy! Rocky assures Grace friends that he most beautiful when eat!”
“I’m sure you are, you delightful creature.”
The angel, the demon, and the alien all left the room. Grace thought that’d be the end of the ‘angel’ debacle. Boy, was he wrong.