Work Text:
“Did ya set it up like I told ya?”
“I think so?” Pomni seemed worried. “And you’re sure this is ok?”
“Absolutely,” Ribbit assured her, “Ragatha’s always been a good sport when it comes to pranks, no worries!”
Pomni wasn’t so sure, but she trusted Ribbit enough to see it through. Her and Jax had been trying to get Pomni to loosen up a bit, Jax thinking pranks were the perfect starting point apparently. That said, it was only her and Ribbit here for now, Jax said she’d “be right back”, but she still hadn’t returned.
“We gotta get this done before Rags wakes up, she’ll have to deal with missing it.” Ribbit had told her before putting it together.
“OH I think I hear her!”
Grabbing Pomni by the wrist, Ribbit quickly dragged her around the corner of the hall. They watched Ragatha’s door, waiting for her to open it. It creaked open, the bucket delicately balanced on top tipping over-
And falling harmlessly to the ground, water pouring onto the carpet. Ragatha stared at it, a little confused.
“Uh… what was that?”
Ribbit snickered as Pomni put her head in her hands.
“Sorry Ragatha, we were trying to teach Pomni the art of the prank, but uh…” she gestured to the bucket on the ground.
“O-oh, sorry, I guess I must have opened the door wrong?” Ragatha tried. “Uh, you could try again maybe?” she weakly suggested.
“Pff, don’t worry about it, we’ll just have to try again when you least suspect it.” Ribbit teased.
Ragatha giggled at that. “Well I’ll have to keep an eye out foooOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH-”
Her voice suddenly shifted into a high pitched screech as the sudden and unannounced appearance of Jax was followed by her dumping ice cubes down the back of her dress.
“JAX”
“Sorry Raggy, you looked a little too hot this morning~ Had to cool ya down.” she said with a wink. Ragatha was red in the face, though whether it was because of the prank or the flirt was unclear.
“Anywho,” Jax said before Ragatha could respond. “You seen Kaufy anywhere? I was gonna invite him to pull pranks with us but I haven’t seen him anywhere.”
That changed Ragatha’s demeanor immediately. “Oh I… I think he’s still in his room…
“Wha- STILL???”
“Jax,” Ribbit interrupted before turning back to Ragatha. “We’ll check on him, don’t worry.”
“Oh, ok… if you guys need any help, I’m always here!”
Ribbit smiled at her. “Don’t worry Rags, if we need back up, we’ll call ya.”
With that, Ragatha went off to the main room, while Jax and Ribbit made their way to Kaufmo’s room. Not entirely sure what to do with herself, Pomni followed the latter.
It didn’t take long to get there, his room was just a few feet from Ragatha’s after all, but before Ribbit could even knock on his door-
“Please just go” he called through the door
Ribbit flinched, taken aback, but tried anyway. “Come on man, just talk to us.”
“I don’t… I’m not feeling up to it today guys”
But Ribbit wouldn’t give up that easily “Just… just come to the cafe with us dude, that always makes you feel better!”
Kaufmo stayed quiet this time.
Patience wearing thin, Jax beat on the door with her fist. “Ok we’re not playing this game man, we’re gonna have a nice time at the stupid cafe whether you like it or not. I have your door key, you know I do and you know I’ll use it, so get your clown butt out here.”
After a moment of silence, the door opened, revealing a very annoyed Kaufmo.
“Fine.”
Kaufmo stomped past the three of them, “Let’s get this over with”.
___
The cafe was awkwardly quiet as the four of them silently sipped their hot chocolate.
“So…” Pomni tried. “Uh… how are you holding up?”
Kaufmo didn’t acknowledge her question.
After a few more uncomfortable moments, Ribbit sighed.
“Look man, can’t ya just talk to us?”
“I don’t want to talk about it”
“Come on Kaufy, we’re all worried about you”
Kaufmo let out a frustrated groan. “Can’t you guys just-”
“Listen,” Jax cut him off “As someone who’s very easy to talk to and has never had any emotional problems ever in my life, I don’t have first hand experience with this, but Ribb’s ain’t gonna stop pestering you until you talk to her, she's persistent like that.”
Ribbit gave her a look. “Bruh”
“Shut it this is about Kaufy stay on topic please” she turned back to Kaufmo. “So you might as well let us in on it man… we…” she shifted uncomfortably. “We won’t laugh.”
Kaufmo was silent for a few more minutes before sighing. “It’s… stupid… it’s SO stupid.”
The girls were quiet as Kaufmo tried to gather his thoughts together.
“I… I thought I found a way out of this stupid place.”
He waved his hand at the look of surprise on the other’s faces. “Don’t get excited, it turned out to be nothing. I… I kept thinking I saw this door, like an exit door. For like, a week or something I kept seeing it, and every time I tried to get to it, it would just disappear… and then like, I don’t know, a day or two before Pomni got here, I FINALLY got to it, I was FINALLY able to open it and…”
Kaufmo growled in frustration. “It was NOTHING! Just some STUPID thing Caine made! Like some kind of sick joke! I just- I- I thought I… I thought I finally accepted it, ya know? We’re stuck here forever, no way out. But for a moment I… I got my hopes up for nothing. God I’m so stupid”
Everyone was stunned. Ribbit put a hand on Kaufmo’s shoulder to comfort him, but stayed silent.
“I… I’m sorry” Pomni offered, not sure what else to say.
Jax stared at Kaufmo for a long time, before she finally spoke up.
“Hey Kaufy?”
“Mm?”
“What do you call a fish with no eyes?”
“I- what??” Kaufmo asked, confused.
“A fsh” Jax’s grin was completely taking over her face.
Kaufmo stared at her for a moment in silence, before snorting “W-what??”
“Hey Kauf” Ribbit said, a similar grin growing on their face.
“Oh no”
“A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He shouts ‘A beer please! And one for the road!’”
“Oh my god stop”
“Hey Kaufy, how did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?”
“Jax don’t-”
“He felt it in his bones”
“STOP” Kaufmo had his head in his hands, but Jax and Ribbit refused to relent.
“What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta”
“Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!”
“Did ya hear about the invisible man who went to the doctor? He’s still waiting to be seen”
“A limbo champion walks into a bar, he loses.”
“What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk”
“Oh my god you guys are insane” Kaufmo said while trying to control his chortling.
“We’re not stopping until we get some proper laughs outta you!” Ribbit laughed.
“You can’t be serious”
“Oh we’re very serious Kaufy” Jax added “Look at us, this is our serious faces.
With that both Ribbit and Jax pulled the dumbest faces they could muster.
“Oh for the love of- I’m out here, baring my SOUL to you people and this is what you do?? I feel attacked, you’re attacking me right now” Kaufmo accused, no actual bite in his voice.
“Uh, hey Kaufmo?” Pomni asked, speaking up for the first time in a while.
Kaufmo took a steadying breath before turning to her. “Yeah Poms?”
“Knock knock”
Jax and Ribbit immediately erupted into thunderous laughter.
“Pomni” Kaufmo was rubbing his temples “Pomni I trusted you.”
“Knock knock!”
“You gotta let her in Kaufy,” Ribbit giggled.
“Can’t leave her out in the cold like that Kaufy” Jax smirked.
After an over dramatic sigh, Kaufmo finally asked, “Who’s there?”
“Interrupting cow.”
“Interrupting co-” “Moo”
Kaufmo stared at Pomni and her awkward smile for a beat, before throwing his head back, absolutely howling with laughter. Ribbit was quick to follow, while Jax threw her hands up, completely flabbergasted.
“Really? REALLY?? THAT’S the one that [SQUEAK]ing gets you?? I’m here giving you the A material and you lose your mind at the word MOO???”
Kaufmo couldn’t respond if he wanted to.
“I don’t know Jax” Pomni spoke up, pressing her luck. “I think those jokes were B+ at best.”
Jax narrowed her eyes at her, a sly smile creeping onto her face. “Remember that when you and I are alone later.”
Pomni stared at her, eyes wide and face red.
Kaufmo wiped a tear from his eye. “Oh man, I’ve heard about having a frog in your throat, but you’re about to have a rabbit in yours Pom”
“HEY! THERE he is!” Ribbit cheered, shaking his shoulder. “THERE’S our guy!”
“Don’t worry, she’ll probably have a frog in her throat too~” Jax said with a smile.
Kaufmo went into another fit as Pomni hid her face in her hands.
“Oh GOD, you guys are too much to handle” he chuckled
“And yet you handle us anyway, what a trooper” Ribbit joked.
“Yeah… thanks” Kaufmo said, a sincere smile on his face.
“Any time Kauf” Jax threw a wink his way, before standing up from her seat. “Alrighty, now that THAT’S taken care of, you can help us with the pranking lessons, poor Pompom really needs them.”
“Oh come on,” Pomni complained.
“Don’t ‘oh come on’ me, the water bucket is one of the easiest tricks in the book and you still messed it up!”
“Yeah come on Pomni, practice makes perfect!” Ribbit added.
“I don’t think practicing is going to help me get better at the stupid water bucket trick”
“No no they’re right,” Kaufmo said, “You gotta practice, otherwise you’ll end up all wet.”
Everyone cackled as Pomni put her head in her hands, trying not to snicker.
