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Violet was sitting on the floor of her room, surrounded by blood. Blood of her fellow cadets that Xaden just killed in a second. She was sitting with her back against a wall, hardly aware if she was awake, or even alive. She had gone to bed hours ago and woke up to six people standing over her in bed, weapons drawn. Her first thought upon opening her eyes was that she was dead– it was over. In some ways, since entering the Riders Quadrant, she had been preparing herself for this; Basgaith felt like a slow march towards death. Yet, in the past few weeks, she was beginning to finally feel that lessening. A little bit of hope was trying to seep in as she kept surviving. Day by day.
Yet, on this day, laying in her own bed with weapons ready above her, she thought it was over. But they all made a mistake. Six versus one, they assumed, just like her, that she was dead. They tried to take their time. Instead of opening with their knives, they started with their fists. The anger and resentment they had towards Violet becoming explicity clear with every hit. Violet had been struggling on the sparring mat when she was armed, awake, and prepared. In her dark bedroom, in her pajamas, six against one, she knew she didn’t stand a chance.
They started with hits to the face, blurring her vision immediately and a punch that sliced her lip. She could feel the blood dripping down her chin and throat and as she tried to thrash and yell for help, one of them – it was unclear who in the dark – grabbed her by the throat and lifted her up off the bed. Careful, not to knock her unconscious. No, they wanted her awake for this. Throwing her onto the ground, the remaining five kicked her senseless.
“Miss Sorrengail isn’t so high and mightly now?” one of them scoffed.
Laying there, Violet screamed and didn’t know if it was out loud or just in her own mind, hoping and praying that Tairn and Adarna would get to her. She knew it was futile but strangely, she could only think of them.
—-------
As Violet laid against the wall, trying to process how Xaden had known that fast - how had he gotten to her so quickly. How had she managed to get out of that?
Her heart was still pounding in her chest. Her head pounded and she knew she had broken her ribs. She couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. Could barely understand where she was, or what had just happened.
“Violet.”
The gentle voice broke the thick silence in the room.
“Violet. Can you speak?” Xaden prompted, kneeling down to try and meet her gaze.
Violet continued to stare forward, a lost look in her eyes, searching the room and taking in the bodies of her fellow cadets.
Xaden left the room and quickly returned with Bodhi, Imogen and Garrick.
“Jesus Christ” Bodhi whispered quietly to himself. “How did this happen? I assumed people would try and go after her – but this many of them? And to try and kill her in her sleep?”
“Just get rid of the bodies. I’ll take this to the Wing Leaders first thing in the morning. And try and clean up this room.”
His friends were taking in their surroundings and nodded at his request but Xaden’s eyes were trained on Violet. Her breathing was shallow and she had yet to say a word. One of her eyes was swollen shut, and bruises were starting to appear around her arms. He assumed there were a lot worse injuries still hidden by her pajamas.
He tentatively walked back over to her and crouched down, “Violet. Can you stand? We need to get you out of this room.” He said, slowly reaching his arm out to offer her his hand.
She nodded slowly and finally looked at him. Gradually taking his hand, the room around them fell silent. Xaden carefully helped her to her feet, noting the grimace in her face and gently placed an arm under her to help hold her steady.
“I’m going to go get her cleaned up – please get them all out of here”, Xaden said looking pointedly at his friends.
They all nodded, the tension in the room tight and everyone watching as Xaden helped Violet hobble out and down the hall. They walked together towards the infirmary in silence, Xaden quietly wishing to himself that he could just carry her but worried about spooking her more than has already happened tonight. They slowly hobbled along and after what felt like ages, arrived at the infirmary, only to discover it closed.
“The hospital wing is closed until further notice. All healers and menders have been called to deal with an urgent matter. Please contact Vice Commandant Varrish for any immediate needs”
Xaden quickly scanned the notice, internally freaking out but trying to remain calm for Violet. Violet, on the other hand, hardly seemed to register that they had stopped walking. She still had that glassy look in her eyes, and blood running down her face.
“Okay, Violet. I’m going to take you to my room instead. I have some supplies there.”
Slowly, Xaden started leading her away and towards his room. Feeling more uncertain than he usually did, more unsure of himself. He had been trying to push down whatever this feeling was towards her. Bringing her into his bedroom was certainly not part of that plan.
They arrived and Xaden quickly looked around his room, trying to make sure everything was in order. Not that Violet would notice in the state she was in, but needing for his own sake, for things to look in order. With his hands still supporting her, he gently walked her over to his bed and sat her down upright. It all felt so strange, seeing her in his room. Bloody and in shock. Thankfully, for his own injuries, he had some saline, gauze, and bandages in his desk drawer. He walked over to her and hoped desperately that she would say something. Anything.
“Violet. I know you’re in shock but you’re safe here. I have my room warded so I’m the only person who can get in. I just need to clean your wounds – is that okay? Can you please say something?”
She looked at him and nodded again.
“Can you talk?” he pleaded.
The smallest whisper finally came out, “Yeah”, Violet broke – the sound making it clear that her vocal chords were damaged by whatever those brutes did to her.
“Oh, Violet.” Xaden whispered. “Okay. I’m just going to clean your face up first. I would hate for you to get blood all over my bed” he said with a smirk, trying to lighten things up a little bit.
Violet gave the closest thing to a smile he could have expected after the night she had, and he quietly got to work. He started with cleaning the blood off of her split lip, and all that had run down her chin and throat. Using extra caution on her throat, he started to see all the bruising that came from the hand around her neck. The more he uncovered, the more Xaden was struggling with his own anger. “I should have killed them slower for this.” he whispered quietly.
Violet’s eyes opened wider in surprise. She could hardly speak anyways, but if she could, she wouldn’t have known what to say. Did he care? Despite herself and everything that had already happened, she found herself blushing and feeling more aware of how close his face was to her. How gentle his hands were around her head as they cleaned her off.
He then put a small bandage at the edge of her lip to help stop the bleeding. It was beginning to feel more intimate than either of them realized. Suddenly, Xaden stood up and in a voice that Violet was far more used to hearing - that of a Wingleader- he said “Alright. I need you to stand up. I need to look at your ribs.”
Violet took in a shaky breath and whispered out, “I’m fine. I just want to lay down.”
He felt her hesitation and didn’t know how to gain her trust. He surprised himself at how badly he wanted it. Kneeling back down, just as he did when he found her, Xaden quietly said “Violence. Based on your breathing since I found you, you have a few broken ribs. I need to look at them and see how bad it is. We can’t just leave them like this. I’ll be gentle, I promise”.
Violet knew he was right. But the idea of Xaden Riorson seeing her body in that way – seeing it damaged and her so weak – was harder to stomach than the punches thrown at her earlier. She was so drawn to him but having him see her like this? It was too much. She didn’t know what to say. Or how to stall. So she said the only thing she needed him to know, “I tried to fight back” she whispered. The words rising emotion in her throat and bringing some tears to cloud her vision.
Xaden stilled at her words. They broke his heart. “I know you did. I saw scratch marks on a few of them and one guy was doubled over by the time I got there, so I can only assume you kicked him in the balls” Xaden said with a smirk.
“I did,” Violet said with more conviction than she had said anything in hours. One tear managed to escape, sliding down her cheek but for her own sanity, she needed to keep it together. She held eye contact with Xaden, hoping he couldn’t tell how vulnerable this was for her.
He looked at her and she felt like he could see through her and read her every thought. He gently took his thumb to her cheek and wiped away the tear. “You don’t need to prove anything to me, Violence. Six people broke into your room and tried to kill you in your sleep. That’s not a battle anyone could have won. And yet, here you are.”
“How did you get to me so fast?” Violet asked. The question had been at the forefront of her mind from the moment he came into her room.
“Adarna. She managed to let Sygael know pretty quickly. I was nearby. Besides, you held them off pretty well.”
“That wasn’t me. They were just taking their time. Playing with their prey before the kill, I guess”. Violet said quietly, with a shrug of her shoulders.
They both knew something more happened. Something happened in that room – it felt like time stopped for a moment but that was too big of a claim to make. Violet’s signets were just starting to show and it all felt like too much. It was best to be left unspoken between them for now. Xaden held the silence for a moment before asking again – “Your ribs, Violence.” It was more of a demand than a question, at this point.
She gently nodded and shakily rose to her feet, placing her hand on Xaden’s shoulder to steady herself. “Sorry” she whispered, feeling the heat rise back up to her cheeks.
“Don’t apologize.” he said firmly, without room for argument. “Can I look at them?”
With Violet standing, still using his shoulders for support, Xaden gently lifted the bottom of her shirt. Immediately, that rage came back with a vengeance. “Fuck” he whispered to himself as harsh colours of black, blue, and yellow swirled all over her stomach. Glancing back up at her face to make sure she was okay, he gently started prodding at some of the marks – feeling along her sides. Xaden was secretly wishing to himself that he could have seen her like this under different circumstances. Gods she was beautiful.
“I think a few of them are broken, Violet. I’ll need to wrap them to hold everything steady while you heal, okay?”
“Okay.” Violet whispered.
Quietly, he grabbed the gauze from the table and started wrapping it around her torso. It felt like a relief, finally covering up those angry marks all over her. Once he was finished, he closed the wrappings off with a bandage and helped her sit back down. He had been trying to do everything slowly, not to startle her but now that he was done, was registering that perhaps he was also trying to delay the end of him needing to take care of her.
With her sitting on his bed, looking slightly better than before, an awkwardness began to creep into the room – both of them quietly wondering what to do now, but not wanting to acknowledge it.
Violet knew what she needed but how to ask for it – that is another question.
“-- Xaden” she started. Tentatively, embarrassed and unsure but needing to be brave for herself tonight, she decided she was already in the world’s most vulnerable position, what damage could a little question do at this point – “...would I be able to stay here tonight?”
Xaden sighed with relief, he hadn’t been sure how to offer or if it was strange or presumptuous. “Of course.” He said quickly. “You don’t need to go back to your room, not after this. I can go crash in Garrick’s room. You can take my bed. You’ll be safe here.”
Violet stilled at his words. The idea of sleeping in Xaden Riorson’s bed would have been laughable mere hours ago. Yet, tonight she needed it. But the idea of staying in here alone – Violet just held eye contact with him. Her eyes searching his face for a sign that he wanted to stay as badly as she wanted him to.
She had had enough fear for one night so Violet simply nodded and let him help her get set up in bed. Gently supporting her back, Xaden helped turn her to lay down on his bed.
“Do you want different clothes?” he asked quietly.
Violet turned a deep shade of pink, but looking down at her pajama top, it was blood soaked and the idea of getting that all over his sheets was equally embarrassing. With her voice cracking Violet said, “If that’s okay, yeah.”
Xaden nodded quickly and began searching his dresser for something suitable for her. Tossing her a t-shirt, he said “Alright. I’ll head out, but make yourself comfortable. I’ll come back in the morning to check on you and we can recheck the bandages.”
“Thank you”, she whispered quietly, feeling that emotion threatening to come back up.
Xaden turned towards the door and placed his hand on the knob, but he made the mistake of glancing back at her and felt his heart constrict. She looked so small. The bruises on her face and throat were angry and he could tell how hard she was working to try and push down the tears trying to spill over. “Violence – are you okay?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I can handle myself – uh, thank you though” she said with more formality than either of them expected.
Xaden was stuck in that doorway. He knew he should go but couldn’t get his feet to move. He was rooted in place, just looking at her.
Violet was trying to keep her composure. She either needed him to go that very second, before she embarrassed herself even further by crying. Or she needed him to stay. Both felt terrifying.
They were in a stand-off. Both just frozen in place, holding eye contact with each other. But Violet’s eyes quickly started to well up with tears and he couldn’t take it a second longer. Xaden crossed the room towards her in what felt like half a second. He gently sat down on the bed and brushed a piece of hair back from her eyes and gently rested his hand on the side of her head. What was he doing? He’s her Wingleader for fuck’s sake.
Violet, to her credit, continued to hold eye contact and decided she needed to be brave one final time tonight – “Will you stay?”, she whispered finally, her voice cracking the silence in the room.
Xaden sighed with relief, he didn’t realize the breath he had been holding or how badly he needed her to ask that until she did.
“Of course” he said quickly.
He shifted from his spot across from her and slowly went to lay down beside her. He was moving so slowly, fearful that moving too quickly would scare her and she would regret asking. Finally, he had them both tucked under the covers but left space between them, unsure of what she wanted or needed. They lay on their sides both facing each other. The silence in the room had become less awkward, but still carried the tension of uncertainty – uncertain about what would happen, what they wanted, and both moving tentatively.
Violet examined Xaden’s face and carefully reached her hand out to meet his; she intertwined their fingers and lay just holding his hand. Needing something to hold on to.
Ironically, Xaden felt like he could fall asleep easier than he had in months. There she was. Holding his hand. Needing him.
They didn’t need to say anything more but with their hands interlaced, both fell asleep quickly. Xaden wasn’t sure when or how it happened, but when he woke up in the middle of the night, Violet’s head was on his chest and her arms were wrapped around his waist. It felt safer, and more comfortable than he could have imagined. He gently kissed the top of her head, and just like that, went right back to bed.