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Do you feel guilty, Player?
That's the question on their mind, something that has been plaguing them all this time. They still haven't found the answer, though, and they aren't sure if they’ll be getting it anytime soon. But that's something they can concern themselves with later—right now they have more pressing matters to deal with, like attending the council meeting. Once again, their feelings have been pushed aside for something far more important… It's always been this way, and they’ve made their peace with it.
I have to go soon. The council meeting’s about to begin, and I can't afford to be late.
It's nothing much, just something they have to attend. And they believe that it’ll be a simple affair, an event they can quickly breeze by just so they can obtain another one of the swords for Shedletsky. It was their duty, a responsibility entrusted only to them. They couldn't disappoint him, nor fail their mission—the whole world was at stake, with their fate falling upon their lonesome shoulders.
They’re just about to enter the main hall when they suddenly come to a stop. They notice a familiar face amongst the crowd, one that immediately catches their attention—it's their friend, Brad, also known as Griefer. Ever since the incident, they’ve grown closer over time, becoming good friends in the process. Whenever they found any free time between their quests, they would go to visit his place and hang out with him occasionally, though those times have become few and far between. They had just been so busy nowadays that they hadn’t had any time to visit him… So they supposed that now was as good a time as any.
Player ends up being the first to approach Brad, to initiate a conversation between the two. He’s standing by the side, further away from where the main crowd gathers. He seems to be a little annoyed at first, but his face lights up when he sees them.
“Y0! WH4T’S UP?" Brad exclaims, offering them a cheerful grin. He looks happier now, more carefree than before. It seems like he’s on better terms with his father, which was definitely a good thing. They’re glad he’s managed to patch things up with him, especially after everything that's happened. How time flies… It feels just like yesterday when they first met.
Player quickly nods along, greeting him as well. "Nothing much. It's been a while, hasn't it?” they ask, trying to make some small talk. Outside of their usual hangouts, they haven't done much together, other than a few conversations about various games and their ongoing quest. Judging from their hangouts, they had a feeling that Brad looked up to them, and viewed them as someone worth admiring—but they never found the courage to ask.
“Y34H! F33LS L1K3 1T’S B33N F0R3V3R," Brad says excitedly, before shifting a little and relaxing slightly. He’s rubbing the back of his neck, in an attempt to soothe his nerves. That's something else Player has noticed—ever since the whole plant fiasco, whenever Brad got nervous or excited, his words would come out more muffled than before. It was probably from the effects of the whole turning-into-a-plant thing. “H0W H4V3 Y0U B33N?"
Player tries to force a smile, one that doesn't quite reach their eyes. They can't possibly tell him about how much they’ve been struggling lately, with every quest becoming more demanding, and every expectation turning more daunting than before. They want to preserve his image of them, not disappoint him like everyone else.
“I’ve been alright. Just… busy," is all they can offer him. They must not sound too convincing, though. At least not to him. Brad tilts his head, his initial excitement shifting into a look of concern.
“Y4 SUR3? IF Y0U 4SK M3, Y0U L00K PR3TTY T1R3D."
Of course they were exhausted. They haven't been able to find any rest these past few weeks—they’ve been on their quest, travelling the lands non-stop in their search for the swords. And even when they were able to rest, they still couldn't find any form of peace. They had to constantly worry about the next big thing, about the next sword they had to get. Perhaps they can only find peace when it all ends, when they’ve found every sword and fulfilled their duty.
But they can't exactly tell Brad that, right? He wouldn't understand their struggle—and no one would. He probably doesn't want to hear about their problems anyway. So they’ll brush it aside, make it a worry for another day. Just like always.
"I'm fine, Brad.”
He still doesn't look entirely convinced by their words. He presses on, refusing to give in so easily.
"D0 Y0U R3M3MB3R WH4T Y0U T0LD M3? Y0U S41D TH4T 3V3RY0N3 N33DS H3LP S0M3T1M3S,” Brad murmurs quietly, before placing his hand on their shoulder, hoping to reassure them. “S0 1F Y0U N33D MY H3LP, Y0U C4N 4LW4YS 4SK.”
Player wishes they could. They’ve been carrying this burden for so long—this feeling of grief alongside their regrets, all buried in between. And they keep reminding themselves that they have to be strong, and keep pressing on no matter what. But that thing, isn't it? The strongest person in the world is often the loneliest. And yet they can't possibly admit their weaknesses to him, right?
Greed, fear, hatred… These were the emotions they had been rid of, feelings that made them weak. They had been entrusted with this duty of saving the world—which meant that they couldn't just pass off this responsibility to others.
“Just… leave me alone,” Player mutters quietly, before shrugging him off. They don't do so roughly, not intending to hurt him. They’re just so tired of everything, and they really need their space. Brad doesn't say anything, letting them walk off. It looks like he’s hesitant to act, and thinking of what to do.
I'm not as good of a person as you thought I was. You shouldn't stay with me—you should save yourself while you still can.
"PL4Y3R!”
Brad’s fingers wrap around their wrist, stopping them in their tracks. It appears that their reaction was enough to spur something within him.
“P-PL34S3… JUST T3LL M3 WH4T’S WR0NG,” he stammers out, his voice beginning to crack. He tightens his grip on their wrist, refusing to let go of them, almost as though he’s afraid they might slip away again.
For once, Player doesn't know what to say to him. They stand there, completely at a loss, while trying their best to avoid meeting his eyes.
They had met many people throughout their journey. Some faces they encountered were kind enough to lend their aid, while there were those who shunned them entirely. Often, they would look at them like they were a monster, someone who was a villain for having all the swords. Others would marvel at their power, and call them a hero. But Brad, he was different. Unlike the rest, he treated them like a dear friend.
Maybe they could tell him the truth. Out of everyone, Player trusted him the most, because he had been there since almost the beginning of their journey. And they noticed that desperation in his eyes, born out of a desire to help them—it makes something within them cave in.
“I’ve just been… struggling lately. There are so many expectations on me, things I can't live up to. And I don't know if I can handle it anymore."
I just wanted to be a hero and save everyone, like I was told to. But I keep failing to do so, time and time again… I hurt so many people and ruined their lives. I don't deserve such praise, to be called such a grand title.
Upon hearing their confession, Brad goes quiet for a moment. He seems to be deep in thought, like he’s deliberating on what to say. And his hand pulls away from their wrist, causing Player’s thoughts to spiral. For a moment, they feared they might have overshared their issues with him, that he was unhappy to hear such a thing.
But instead of pulling away entirely, Brad reaches forward to hold their hand instead, intertwining his fingers with theirs. And with his hand wrapped around theirs, he couldn't help but realise that they're alike, in a way.
His skin used to be gentle, with fingers small enough to hold his mother’s hand. But it wasn't the same... Time had changed him, just like it did to the world. Now, it was roughed up by years of grief and anger that he can't take back. With Player, their circumstances were different. Their hands must have been delicate once, until they had to learn to pick up a sword, with their skin roughed up by a burning resolve to succeed in their quest. But it seems like they’ve both been entrusted with a responsibility far beyond their years—with Brad having to pick up the pieces after his mother’s death, and Player having to save the world.
There's something I must confess, Player. I fear for you. I’m seeing the person you’ve become today, and it scares me to see how much you’re hurting. You must have been suffering all this time, while I remained none the wiser. And I find myself longing for that person I once knew, the friend I once trusted. Even though you're standing right in front of me, you've changed, and not in a good way.
You're not the same Player I once knew, and I hate that. But don't misunderstand—I could never hate you. No, I hate what the world has done to you, to the both of us. It's a cruel place out there, and you’ve been stuck in this hell for so long… I don't know how you do it. How you can pretend that you’re fine, even when you’re not.
I guess this situation is like an apple, in a way. Once you discover the rotten bit, it's hard not to judge the rest of the apple and ignore that crack. It's just like how I tried to ignore your carelessness, with you nearly putting your life in danger for me. I had once confused your actions with bravery… But I can now see the truth. You’re reckless with your life, Player. You don't care about yourself, because you’re too busy worrying about the world. And I understand you have many responsibilities, that I should know better than to interfere. After all, the world is at stake.
But I’m a stubborn one too, just like you. So as your friend, I must ask you this… How can I let such an act slide, and allow this to continue on? How can I let you hurt yourself to save the world, as someone who cares for you deeply?
I need to do something about this. And I think we both know it, that you’re running out of time. One day, you’ll realise that you can't handle it alone. You’ll fall apart, thinking you have no one left—I don't want that to happen to you, Player.
“1 M1GHT N0T KN0W WH4T 1T’S L1K3 T0 H4V3 3V3RY0N3 L00K1NG UP T0 Y0U… T0 H4V3 TH3 W31GHT 0F TH3 W0RLD 0N Y0UR SH0ULD3RS, 4ND T0 H4V3 3V3RY0N3’S 3Y3S 0N Y0U. BUT 1 UND3RST4ND TH4T 1T 1SN’T E4SY.”
I used to admire you once, Player. I viewed you as my idol—my inspiration, almost. But I can see that confident facade of yours slowly slipping away, unable to be held onto anymore. Now, I see every piece of you… even the ones you tried so hard to hide.
And I know that you don't want to appear weak, to show that you could be hurt easily by others. You just wanted to protect those you love, so you did it in the only way you know how to—by acting courageous, pretending to be stronger than you really are. In turn, they call you a hero, the saviour of our world. But they don't see that you're just like us. That you’re only acting like you’re okay, because you think you have to be.
Perhaps if I had asked anyone else about this, they would have said that I shouldn't have intervened, and allowed you to do as you please. You have to carry out your responsibilities, and fulfil the duty Shedletsky has entrusted to you. But how can I remain here, and act like this is the right thing? I won't let anyone tell me what to do—and I certainly won't just watch you suffer and fall apart like this.
“PL34S3, JUST R3M3MB3R TH1S, PL4Y3R—"
Brad gives their hand a gentle squeeze, hoping to offer them some form of comfort amidst their troubles.
It’s okay to be weak. You don't need to be strong all the time… No one should expect such an unreasonable thing from you. You’re only human, after all.
"Y0U D0N’T H4V3 T0 SH0ULD3R 1T 4LL 4L0N3. 1’LL B3 H3R3, R1GHT BY Y0UR S1D3. 4ND Y0U C4N 4LW4YS C0M3 T0 M3 1F Y0U 4V4R N33D 4NYTHNG.”
With that, Brad pulls them into a hug. At first, they can't help but stiffen in surprise, their body going rigid at the sudden movement from him. They aren't used to this—to such acts of kindness given freely, without the weight of any expectations or responsibility hanging down on them.
Slowly, they melt into his inviting embrace, allowing his warmth to envelop them whole. That's when the dam within them breaks, and they start to cry in his arms, no longer able to hold back their tears. Quiet, painful sobs escape them—ones that just can't seem to stop.
Brad can feel his shirt steadily growing damp from where their face is pressed up against him, but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't mind at all. Instead, he simply holds onto them tighter, in an effort to remind them that they weren't alone. And he begins to rub slow, comforting circles against their back, while repeating those same words, over and over again—
“Y0U’R3 N0T 4L0N3 4NYM0R3.”
Eventually, Player pulls away from him. They quickly wipe away their tears with the edge of their sleeve, before offering him a small, grateful smile.
"Thanks. I really needed that.”
Brad just smiles back, his heart feeling a little lighter. He’s glad that he was able to help them in some way, even if it didn't seem to be much.
“4NYT1M3, PL4Y3R.”
Everyone expects you to protect them. But if you have to protect everyone, then who will protect you?
I guess that role falls upon me. I’ll try my best, and I promise that I'll chase away whatever darkness you might be hiding to make way for that light. I know you have a daunting responsibility, one that rests upon your weary shoulders—but I’d carry that burden for you, any day of the week, even if it hurts me too.
You saved me, Player. Now, it's my turn to save you. And even if the world says otherwise, you’ll always be my hero.
“TH4T’S WH4T FR13NDS 4R3 F0R!”
Player simply nods along, thankful to have Brad by their side.
Honestly, I had found it hard to believe such a sentiment at first. I had always thought I would be alone, that my life would forever be filled in darkness. But that's not true. When I’m with you, that burden on my shoulders feels a little lighter. And I know I don't have to endure these struggles all by myself—because I have you.
I’ll worry about the swords later, Player thinks, smiling back at Brad. For now, I’ll enjoy this fleeting moment…
Resting in your arms, knowing I’ve finally found peace.