Chapter Text
A rather determined whistling woke Neige up. Apparently, the birds were doing their absolute best to get his attention. Neige groaned. He had half a mind to just pull his pillow over his head and go back to sleep, but he diligently dragged himself out of bed anyway. After all, the birds were being awfully kind to wake him up at… 5am in the morning. It was a bit earlier than the sun, but Neige supposed he needed the extra time. After all, housewardens had more responsibilities than the average student, and Neige most of all.
So Neige got out of bed and drew open his curtains, letting the dawn stream in. He pushed open his windows carefully, and gestured to the birds.
“Quiet down!” Neige whisper-whistled in bird language.
The birds cocked their heads, bobbing with Neige’s hand gestures.
“Everyone is still asleep,” Neige explained. “If you would like to sing loud enough to wake the dorm, then you should sing at seven.”
The birds looked at each other, confused.
Neige whistled more insistently. “In two hours. When the sun is above the hill.”
The birds oohed and ahhed, nodding and flittering away. Some of them stayed by his windowsill, but Neige really didn’t have time to spoil them this morning. He had things to do! Neige popped in his earbuds and played the demo soundtrack for his upcoming movie.
First, he made his bed. It was always nice to come home to a made bed, and it only took Neige grabbing one side of the blanket and flinging it into the air, then a quick flick as he pulled it down.
He made sure his jewelry box was tidy in particular, dusting off the top, then carefully scooped out his apple necklace. The necklace was just a simple metal chain, with a simple reddish gemstone hanging from it that Neige always likened to an apple. He still remembered receiving it from Dominic and Gran, when he was much younger and sillier. Dominic and Gran had told him that it could make any wish of his come true. Neige was so young at the time that he actually believed it, and by the time he’d realised that they must have just fashioned it out of a rock that was too plain to be sold for very much, wishing on it had become a habit.
And everywhere he went, the apple came with him, tucked under his shirt. Neige went to wash his face and do his skincare. His manager sent him a few new brands, some that wanted to work with him, others that were the ones he was supposed to use instead because the sponsor brands weren’t ideal. Neige reached past those to a green glass bottle with nary a logo on it. This one was given to him quite a while back by his incredibly talented co-star, his own concoction. Perhaps said co-star might scold him for not using the intended dosage each use, but this was Neige’s only bottle! He was determined to make it last.
With his skincare complete, Neige moved to change into his housewarden uniform. As he changed, his thoughts drifted to the end of last year.
“Congratulations, Neige LeBlanche,” his senpai told him warmly. “I’m sure you’ll make a wonderful housewarden.”
“I’m just so surprised!” Neige told him honestly, struggling to be heard over the roaring applause of their dorm. “I’m nothing special, you know. There are so many others that would make a better fit.”
His senpai shook his head. “No, Neige. It is tradition that our Charblanche housewarden displays the unflinching kindness of the Pure Princess. And our students voted for you as the fairest one of all.”
“I'm sure I'll get along somehow.” Neige told himself. “Everything's going to be alright.”
Neige clasped his apple-shaped rock between his hands and took a deep breath.
“...So first of all, I wish for world peace. May everyone in Twisted Wonderland be happy and healthy and well-fed. And bless everyone in Charblanche in particular. Please let me do a good job as housewarden. And please let Toby and Snick not get bullied.” He squeezed his hands tight around his wishing apple, as if it would spit out all the answers if he just tried hard enough. “That’s all. May all my dreams come true.”
With his wishes made, Neige tucked the necklace back under his shirt and grabbed his bookbag and magical pen, making his way out the door and towards the kitchens. While walking, he pulled up his to-do list, checking his upcoming schedules and deadlines.
As it was the first day of school, there were a lot of events but not as much homework. Before classes, he needed to tell everyone that there was going to be a dorm meeting later, so that he could introduce himself and the rules for the dorm. During lunch he needed to call his manager to discuss the photo shoot they scheduled for him and tell them as sternly as he could that he couldn’t skip class for it. Then —oh yes, he needed to remind everyone about club applications and perhaps discuss the importance of having a club or, more importantly, the consequences of being clubless. But that had to come after the housewarden meeting with Headmage Ambrose (bless him with kindness and bless Neige with strength, things neither of them had) which was to take place after their last class of the day.
Neige plopped his stuff on one of the tables and grabbed an apron from the hook.
A tune spilled from his lips, singing along to the climactic aria that was bound to be the bulk of the movie’s marketing. Neige was used to making enough food for eight, and really it wasn’t much of a leap to make breakfast for the whole dorm. By the time he reached the end of the soundtrack, and his earbuds went dreadfully silent, the only step left was to leave everything in the oven.
Well, Neige looked at the clock, it was almost perfectly timed to—
Breaking the silence, it seemed every bird around the dorm all started singing at once. Perhaps for some songbirds, this could create a harmony, but instead it produced quite the cacophony, as every bird tried to outcompete each other in melody and volume.
One particular chick (who was barely finished molting) had managed to fly all the way through the window and towards Neige’s hand, but instead of sticking the landing smacked into his chest and fell into his apron pocket, stopping its piercing melody short. Neige fished the poor dear out with a fond laugh, and let it regain its bearings.
The chick seemed embarrassed, but just as Neige thought it ready to fly back out to its parents, it resumed its melody right where it left it.
Well then! Since it was indeed seven o’clock, Neige made his way through the rooms, banging his wooden spoon on the doors (along with his juvenile feathered alarm clock) and calling for them to wake up. He made his way through the first year rooms first, no doubt they would need longer to get ready, then the second years, then the third.
Neige heard a loud thump and swearing from one of the third year rooms, and he opened the door to see Gran on the floor, fighting with the blankets as he wormed his way up to the window to yell at the birds.
“They can’t understand you when you yell,” Neige teased.
Gran shot him a glare, before very reluctantly producing broken whistles. Something along the lines of stupid birds, and quiet down!
Neige laughed and closed the door, humming as he made his way back towards the kitchens. Upon checking the oven, he smiled in satisfaction. Breakfast was done! Neige got to work plating everything while students trickled in.
“Oh Neige,” one of his classmates sighed as they picked up a plate. “You are such an angel. This smells heavenly.”
Neige flicked his tea towel to smack their encroaching wrist. “Ah ah ah,” Neige scolded. “You’re only allowed one.”
With everyone in the dorm piling in, eating and chatting and laughing, Neige couldn’t help but feel a wave of satisfaction. Like they were all one big family!
Speaking of family, Neige spotted his dwarf friends. All six of them.
“Where is Shelpie?” Neige asked the group.
“Where do you think?” Gran said sarcastically. “Neige, don’t tell me you plan on cooking breakfast for everyone everyday.”
Neige winked at him. “That’s not my plan at all.” Neige turned towards the rooms. “I’ll go wake Shelpie up, then there should be just enough time for morning announcements.”
Shelpie was, as expected, still asleep. It looked like he had made it all the way to the closet before curling up and falling asleep inside of it. Neige turned to the chick on his shoulder. “Want to see my secret trick?” he asked.
The little bird nodded up and down, watching enraptured as Neige leaned down to Shelpie’s ear, then he whistled so loud that the entire dorm must have heard it.
Shelpie, to his credit, immediately bucked up, springing upwards and slipping instantly upon the heap of clothes on his closet floor. “Neige!” Shelpie cried.
Neige laughed heartily. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I couldn’t help myself. But you must get ready quick for breakfast before someone decides to take more than their share.”
“I’ll be there,” Shelpie told him. “I’m up, I’m up I’m up….”
“Shelpie!”
“IIIII—-- I’m up!”
Neige left Shelpie to get ready by himself, humming to himself as he walked back down the hallway. He checked all the other rooms as he passed, just in case anyone else was running late, but aside from a few stragglers it seemed the birds were very effective.
“Neige!” Hop called when he made it back to the tables. “We saved your portion!”
“And Shelpie’s,” Snick added.
Neige couldn’t help but give a fond smile. “Thanks guys.” Mm, the recipe was just right.
Just as everyone was starting to finish their food, and Shelpie finally emerged from his room, Neige gestured for Dominic to come to his side. Then, he got up on a chair, and clanged a wooden spoon against a pan for everyone’s attention. Poor Dominic pressed his hands against his pointed ears a few seconds too late, and his head was still spinning for the first few sentences.
Neige engaged his idol voice, making sure to project in a lighthearted but serious tone. “Good morning everyone. I just have a few announcements.”
Neige saw some first years whispering in the back, but decided to let it slide.
“I’m Neige LeBlanche, your housewarden for this year. This is Dominic, he is our vice-housewarden. Classes start soon so this won’t be long, but we’ll have a proper dorm meeting at 6 o’clock, so I expect everyone to be there. When you are done with your breakfast, please put your plates into the dishwasher. For our first years and transfers, and as a reminder to our returning students, remember not to go into the forest. Our dorm’s wards only cover the clearing, so there’s no guarantee of your safety beyond that point. If you have any questions, or need anything at all at any time of the year, you can come to one of us and we’ll gladly help you. And we expect all of the senpais to help all the kouhai. That is all! Remember, six o’clock!”
With that, the dorm erupted once again in a flurry of movement and noise, with several groups of students bursting into applause for Neige while others hurried off with their bags and books. Neige hopped off of the chair and checked the time. It seemed they had about twenty minutes before their first class. Wonderful!
Neige spotted a group of first year students trying to stack their plates horizontally in the dishwasher, “Don’t stack them,” Neige told them. “Turn them this way, then slot them in between the racks.”
The firsties did as he said, and they successfully loaded the dishwasher. “Thanks housewarden!” It was a good reminder to Neige that not everyone knew how to do household chores.
“Ah—” Neige stopped a third-year in their tracks. “If you aren’t going to finish your food, at least throw it out instead of putting it straight into the dishwasher.”
The third-year rolled their eyes but did as Neige said, pointedly scraping the rest of their half-eaten dish in the trash.
Neige flashed them his idol smile. “Thank you~”
With the dishwasher loaded and everyone streaming out of the dorm, Neige considered the morning a great success.
Right. It was time to head to class.
Classes were uneventful. The second-year teachers mostly picked up where they left off the year before, and everyone slipped back into the RSA routine without much fuss.
Neige was pleased to see that all of his dwarf friends had made it to lunch in one piece and on time. Though all of them had other friends they usually sat with (even Gran, bless him and his friends) they all agreed to sit with Snick and Toby on their first day in RSA.
“U-uh, ano, Neige LeBlanche sen…pai?” Neige looked up to see a brave first year shyly fiddling with a notebook in front of the table, and behind them was a small crowd of first years from various dorms all looking similarly nervous.
Neige’s face softened. He could recognise his fans anywhere. He gave them his signature bright, idol smile. “That’s me, Neige LeBlanche! Can I help you?”
The brave first year, along with the small crowd, squealed and shrunk, elated smiles on their faces. Oh, it made Neige so happy that he could so easily make others happy like this. “C-c-could you sign my notebook?”
“Sure!” Neige gave them a teasing grin. “Is that really all you want from me?”
The student gasped and shook his head violently. “N-no! I mean yes! I mean I could never ask for more when youreactuallyjustastudenthereandthisisyourprivatelifeand-”
“Not even a picture~?”
Perhaps it was a tad improper, but Neige enjoyed watching his fans implode.
“If you please!”
It was a good distraction from his schooling life, to chat with his fans and sign autographs. Or perhaps the snippets of his day attending classes and doing his housewarden duties were just a distraction from his celebrity life.
“Wow~” Snick stifled a sneeze. “Neige is so popular~!”
“They get over it,” Shelpie drawled. “This happened last year everyday for two weeks.”
“Alright! Fansign’s over!” Gran grunted at the crowd, trying to shoo them off. “There are only ten minutes left of lunch and Neige needs to eat!” He turned back to the rest with a harumph. “Hmph! The rabble!”
“That’s not necessary, Gran,” Neige sighed. “They’re only excited to see me.”
Gran crossed his arms and glared. “Well they can see you from a distance. Eat your food, it’s getting cold.”
Timmy shrunk into Neige’s side. “They’re looking at us?! From a distance…?!”
“My fans are the sweetest,” Neige consoled him. “They won’t think anything mean, mostly.”
Just as Neige was about to take a bite, his phone buzzed. “I’m so sorry, I have to take this,” Neige told his friends. “My manager has been trying to text and call all morning. They must have forgotten my school hours over the summer.”
Stepping away from his friends, he answered. “Oh, slow down! Yes, yes, I saw your text. I was in class, and our sensei confiscate phones when they see them. Yes– yes I am indeed back in school and will be for the next year. Why yes, that was what I wanted to talk to you about — that shoot you scheduled next Wednesday is during my school hours, I can’t do it. Yes, even if you get a magic portal. No, I can’t do it after school today, I have things after class. School things. Maybe we could do it this weekend? I don’t want to push back the fanmeet—”
The chat with his manager drained Neige’s energy, and it was so long that he was only able to return to the table with five minutes to eat his food. Neige reminded himself that having a manager was unavoidable if he wanted to maintain his workload and continue having cute fans. As he returned to his seat at the table, his friends pushed towards him his food that they had so kindly kept warm for him with magic.
“The forest wants nothing more than to trap you there forever,” Gran was telling the first years, in as scary of a voice he could. “They say that once, some students wandered into the forest, and they were never seen again!”
“Eep!” Snick clung to Dominic and Timmy threw himself into Neige’s arms.
“Gran!” Neige scolded. “Don’t be mean!”
Gran huffed. “It’s not like it’s not true.”
“Well you don’t have to scare them on purpose!”
Snick gulped. “Wait, it’s true?” he asked Dominic with fearful eyes.
Dominic nodded. “The wards don’t cover the forest,” he explained again. “So you must stay in the clear- in the clearing. Did you get that Toby?”
“Hm?” Toby looked up, mouth full of delicious hamburger. “Get what?”
Neige laughed. “Don’t talk with your mouth full,” he chided. “And don’t go into the forest.”
Toby gulped, swallowing down a giant bite. He cocked his head at Neige. “Why?”
Gran groaned.
Hop patted Toby on the back. “It’s okay. No one goes there anyway, and no one ever actually goes missing, so you don’t have to worry!”
The warning bell rang, and Neige tried his hardest to chew faster, before ultimately giving up and deciding to go to class.
“Uh, our headmage is such an asshole,” Minajael Tealrajah, complained, slamming the door to the meeting room with a bit too much force.
“Mina-senpai! Mind your language!” Neige scolded.
Mina smirked at him. “You didn’t say I was mean.”
Neige glared back. “You were.”
“But because what I’m saying is true—”
“Dinah!” Alice cried, and the others looked over to see that Che’nya had stolen Alice’s suspicious mushroom pouch that was always filled with a suspicious white powder out her very hands, floating above her. “Give that back right now!”
In the whole year that Neige had known Che’nya, he had never met anyone who could make his smile drop faster, or drop his smile at all, except for Alice. “Who’s Dinah? Don’t know him.”
“Not him, her. She’s my cat.”
Che’nya gave a disbelieving scoff. “The name is Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker. And even if I were what I were not, I would never be your cat.”
Alice made a grab for her mushroom, but Che’nya held it out of the way. “Right. But in this world, I am your housewarden. So the correct answer is: “Yes, Miss Alice.””
Che’nya’s eyes twitched. In the next second, he had disappeared, little bag of white powder and all.
“Hey!” Alice cried. “Dinah!”
Neige sighed. “Not to say that Che’nya-senpai was right to steal your things, but perhaps the better expression is good riddance?”
“Hey!” Rielle lit up. “We should all go to that new club now that we’re all seventeen! No homework, no rules, no expectations–!”
“I’m in!” chirped Mina.
“Why, that sounds most exciting!” Alice declared.
“Well. I’m afraid I’ll have to pass,” Neige told them gently. “I’m holding a dorm meeting.”
“Ehh?” Rielle baulked with wide eyes. “Dorm meeting? Is that some mandatory thing that the headmage instructed us to do while I wasn’t listening?”
Mina gave a giant sigh, as though the entire world was pressing down on his shoulders. “If he didn’t say it out loud then I’m not following some implied rules. Serves him right for expecting so much from us. We’re students! We’re in the prime of our lives–”
Neige pouted. “It’s not mandatory, but it is important. Especially for the first-years and students who have never been in the CharBlanche dorm, they need to know of our traditions and duties and rules.”
Mina groaned. “Look. I became housewarden precisely so that I didn’t need to follow any rules. That’s what climbing to the top means – that no one can tell you what to do anymore. I’m not going to lock myself into giving dorm speeches.”
Neige frowned. “I don’t think I’m at the top at all. ‘Housewardens’ are just a different set of responsibilities.”
“What a lovely concept!” Alice declared. “I will also hold a dorm meeting, and inform all of my dorm students of my rules!”
“That’s not- oh forget it.” Neige sighed. “Anyway, I really must be heading back. Bye bye now.”
As he left, he heard Alice ask in the distance, “Now, what sort of club is it? I won’t come if it’s a book club. I don’t very much like books.”
“...and Dominic will hand out a list of clubs that are available to choose from. We will be holding a club fair later in the term, but there’s no harm in having an early look. I also have forms for registering your own club, and you can come get them from me if you wish.”
Neige looked down at his list. He had gone through clubs, rules and contacts, so he had just one thing left.
“Now, CharBlanche has a tradition of cooking for its dorm students. Did everyone like the breakfast this morning?”
A chorus of ‘yes!’ and ‘it was delicious!’ and ‘the best!’, along with many head nods made Neige feel wonderfully happy inside.
“I’m glad. This—” Neige gestured for Dominic to levitate a large sheet of paper for everyone to see. “—Is our chore rotation schedule. We have on here cooking and cleaning.”
The room suddenly went eerily quiet. The schedule continued to float before them, being stared at with mouths agape.
“Any questions?” Neige asked hesitantly. He looked around his dorm students, but no one spoke up or raised a hand, even as the hushed volume seemed to rise. “Well then, that is all for this meeting.”
Neige gathered up his things and waved everyone off to do their nightly routines.
“Neige is so… bossy,” one of the CharBlanche first-years complained to their roommates. “I heard he was some sweet idol type, but he’s been nothing but bossy all day.”
“I know right? He’s got like a hundred meetings where we have to sit and listen to him, and he’s making us do our own chores too! Well, it’s no wonder he likes attention, since he’s a celebrity.”
The two first-years looked over at Toby and Snick pointedly. “What do you guys think?” they asked.
Snick and Toby <sneeze> looked at each other in concern, finding themselves quite at a loss for words. They would never sell out Neige and be mean to him behind his back! But… it seemed they might get bullied in RSA after all.
“Neige only does what’s good for us,” Snick told them nervously, glancing over at Toby.
“Neige is always nice!” Toby told them earnestly.
The other two first years gave them weird looks. “Okay well, you know what they say, ‘never meet your idols’. Give it a week until you realise the oppression he’s putting you under.”
Meanwhile, a few third years were approaching Hop in the shared area.
“Hey, you’re friends with Neige, right?”
Hop beamed at them. “That I am!”
The trio shared smiles. “Great! Can you tell him we actually can’t be on the cooking schedule?”
Hop stared blankly. “Why?”
The first person said, “Well, because we’re terrible cooks! Our dorm leader last year understood, so we were exempt from cooking.”
“Just try to eat his cooking,” the other whispered dramatically. “I think we would all be poisoned just as badly as the pure princess.”
“And I’ve never touched a stove in my life!” the last one complained. “I wouldn’t know the first thing to do besides heating up tacos in the microwave!”
Hop was very uneasy. He could sense the bad intentions just oozing out of them, but he didn’t quite know how to get out of it. Thankfully, one of his second-year friends came to his rescue.
“Oi! You’re just trying to get out of cooking!” they argued. “Just because only Neige, CharBlanche student A and CharBlanche student B cooked last year doesn’t mean that has to be the way it is this year!”
Hop tried to lighten the mood. “If you’re not good at it, I’m sure Neige will teach you. He’s been trying to teach us how to make his signature apple pies for years! No matter how many we end up burning, he never gives up on us!”
The third years rolled their eyes and gave up. “Fine, have your stupid schedule,” they said, walking away. As they walked past Dominic and Gran’s room, one of them kicked the door. “Tch. I can’t believe he’s playing favourites.”
A bang resounded on the other side of the door, scaring the trio off. “Oi!” Gran yelled, opening the door and sticking his head out. “What’dya do that for?”
The three of them scuttled away, but Gran was still in a terrible mood, closing the door and slinking back to his bed to sit, arms and legs crossed with a terrible frown.
“Playing favourites,” Gran scoffed. “Neige never does. He’s put you back on cooking. I’ll have to skip meals on Wednesdays.”
Dominic gave a sheepish smile. “I’ll try my best to make edibles! And anyway, this is why we shouldn’t tell Neige about this, because none of it is true.”
Gran huffed. “Of course none of it is true! And Neige will still take it to heart even if he shouldn’t. But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t know. He needs to be warned about the wickedness living under our roof!”
“Well, as his vice housewarden, I will protect him from all the danger,” Dominic declared, more confidently than he actually felt.
Gran snickered. “Yeah right.”
“Hey!”
Gran stood up and started walking towards the door. “Well if you ain’t telling him, then I will.”
“Hey- you can’t jj-ust!”
Gran sauntered out the door, making his way towards Neige’s room with Dominic on his tail. On their way, they spotted Toby and Snick, hovering outside of their own dorm room.
Toby had his ear pressed up against the door. “I think he just said a bad word. No- Snick- no they'll catch us--- "
Gran and Dominic rushed to grab Snick, pulling his scarf tightly around his nose to stop his sneeze. As the moment passed, they all sighed in relief.
Dominic offered him a tissue. “Here, blow your nose. We’re going to hang out in Neige’s room.”
Toby lit up. “Yay! Neige~”
As the four of them walked down the hall, they decided to make a pit stop at one of the second-year rooms. When they were in first year, Neige shared a room with Shelpie, Hop and Timmy. Now that they were in second year, Neige had his own housewarden room, Shelpie and Timmy shared a room, but Hop was alone for the first time (sharing with another student who was not their family).
Today, it seemed, Hop was in Shelpie and Timmy’s room anyway, looking a bit down. All three were invited to visit Neige’s room, and the seven of them trooped down the hallway.
When they finally knocked on the door, the reply didn’t come right away. It was only after their third knock that they heard a “come in!” from Neige.
Tentatively opening the door, and tentatively looking inside, the dwarves saw Neige lying on his bed, kicking his legs, scrolling on his phone.
Neige gave them a sunny smile. “Well what are you all standing over there for?”
Toby skittered up to Neige, wriggling himself into Neige’s side, and the others all followed suit, giggling as they arranged themselves in optimal cuddling position.
Dominic elbowed Gran, whispering, “I thought you were going to tell?”
Gran glared at him, crossing his arms. He looked upon the happy scene, and just couldn’t find it in himself to ruin it. He sighed. “I’ll tell him later.”