Chapter Text
For seven long years, since that damn boat crash, Cas was stuck on that island fighting for survival. But now, thanks to a wayward fishing boat, he’s back - and he’s going to see his husband again.
Cas wasn’t sure Dean would keep their same house after seven years but with the Impala in the driveway, Cas’ heart picks up speed. He grabs his boxy suitcase, pays the cabdriver, and outright runs up the front porch steps. He takes a minute at the door to breath deep and fix his tie (or try to fix it anyway - his tie tying skill has gotten even worse after seven years of never having to do it). There’s a new potted plant on the porch beside their old swing but everything is more or less as Cas left it. He bites his lip to hide his smile and presses the doorbell.
The door swings open and Cas’ heart plummets through the floorboards.
She’s a beautiful thirty-something with brown curly hair and a baby on her hip.
In all of Cas’ fantasies of this moment for the past seven years, not once had he considered this. And he feels like an idiot now, standing there with his suitcase, expecting his husband to still be waiting for him. He feels so selfish. Seven years is a very long time. Dean deserves everything he can get from life. He deserves a family… a partner, a child.
And Cas just wasn’t there.
"Yes?" she asks, curiosity in her eyes. She smiles though, friendly-like, and it isn’t too hard for Cas to see why Dean would love her.
"Mrs. Winchester?" he asks to be sure.
"That’s me," she says, smile wavering only when Cas feels his tears well.
"I have to go," Cas says, turning. His grip tightens on his suitcase - it’s the only thing he has to hold onto. “Please excuse me."
"Hey, are you alright?" she asks. Her kindness stings. Cas wants to hate her, but how can he when she is kind?
He swallows down his hurt and selfishness. No one is at fault here. Not Dean, for moving on after seven years. And certainly not this woman who has clearly given Dean a life and a family and understanding and sweetness.
Cas stops on the steps and glances back over his shoulder. She’s standing at the threshold where Dean had carried Cas when they got back from their honeymoon. Cas pushes that memory to the very back of his mind. He needs to, if he’s going to say what he wants to say.
"I wish you all the happiness in the world," Cas says and starts walking down the sidewalk, not really knowing where to go - not really having anywhere to go.
He makes it two houses down the street before the tears start to fall.
As long as Dean is okay. As long as he’s happy. He repeats the words in his mind, over and over, the only comfort in a swirl of pain. He’s only ever wanted Dean to be happy.
*
"How strange," Amelia says as she reenters the kitchen with her and Sam’s baby on her hip.
Sam looks up at his wife, away from the salad he’s tossing in a bowl.
Dean flips a burger on the stove. “Who was at the door?"
"Just some guy," Amelia says. “I think he was a salesman or something."
"What happened?" Sam asks.
"He asked if I was Mrs. Winchester and I said yes," she says. “Then he looked like he might cry."
Dean snorts. “Now there’s a sales gimmick."
"That’s the thing," Amelia says. “He didn’t ask me to buy anything."
"That is weird," Dean says, flipping another burger.
Amelia walks into the room, hands the baby to Sam with a quick kiss, and takes over for him on the salad. “Then as he’s leaving, I ask him if he’s okay, you know, because he looks like he’s about to break down, and he says, ‘I wish you all the happiness in the world.’"
Dean laughs again. “Double weird."
"Definitely strange," Amelia says.
Dean opens his mouth to change the subject, when Sam interjects, “What did he look like, Amelia?"
"Come on, Sam," Dean says with an eye roll. “You looking for a date or something?"
Amelia laughs until Sam says, “Humor me." He flashes his signature doe eyes to the back of Amelia’s head. She must be able to hear it in his voice by now because she immediately answers.
"He had a beat-up old trenchcoat and a backwards tie."
The burger Dean’s flipping finds its way to the floor. Dean doesn’t give two shits about it. “What?"
Sam’s quick to diffuse him. “It could be a coincidence, Dean. Must be."
Dean struggles to contain his hope. He’s been burned before - so many times. He nods at Sam before asking Amelia, “What else?"
She looks slightly alarmed, gaze passing from Dean to Sam but when Sam casts even wider doe eyes, she adds, “Dark hair. Messy."
"Eyes?" Dean asks.
"Blue," she says. “Like, really blue."
Burgers forgotten on the stove, Dean’s out of the kitchen and the front door as fast as his legs will take him. His heart is thundering and his brain is screaming CAS.
There’s a guy further down the sidewalk - right height and build. Dean’s hopeful and fearful at once. He never believed Cas died out there. He never gave up the hope that one day he’d return.
Sam and Amelia had tried to set him up on dates; they meant well. But Dean always found something wrong ten, twenty minutes into dinner. The biggest, most glaring problem was that they were not Cas, and Cas is Dean’s only. He’s never even taken off his wedding ring.
Dean’s never been one to let fear dictate his life so he takes an unsteady breath and shouts out, “Cas!"
The man stops. He turns.
It’s Cas.
"Cas!" Dean cries, moving again, full speed toward his husband and love. Cas doesn’t move but his face betrays a whirlwind of emotion - fear, relief, hope, love. Dean collides into him, pulling them together as tight as can be. He breathes in that familiar scent and his body remembers this like Cas has never left - like the hell of the past seven years never happened. “Cas," Dean says, just to hear the name in the air again, after not allowing it in his house for so long - it hurt too much to hear. “Cas. Cas. Cas."
"Dean," Cas says, and Dean breaks down because - oh, God - he’s been dying to hear that deep voice rumble his name again.
Dean grabs at Cas’ coat, his arms, his hair - checking to make sure he’s okay, that he’s here. He’s still holding his suitcase. When Dean goes to take it from his hand, he pulls it away.
"Don’t," Cas whispers and Dean looks in his face, sees the tear stained cheeks and red, puffy eyes. “I won’t ruin your life."
"What?"
Cas’ lips press together. “You have… You have a new life now, and I should have considered that before I-"
Dean shuts him up with a kiss, and though Cas clams up at first, he crumbles quickly, making a pained noise, before opening up to Dean and wrapping his free arm around Dean’s shoulder, clawing at his back.
"Don’t you dare leave me," Dean says, tears threatening. “Please, Cas."
Cas presses their foreheads together. “But you’re married."
"Yeah," Dean says. “To you."
Cas pulls away again, searching Dean’s face. “But that woman…? Mrs. Winchester?" Understanding crosses over Cas’ face before Dean ever says anything. “Sam."
Dean nods. “Sam."
Cas drops his suitcase. A smile splits his face. He laughs for a second - Dean laughs too - before he tackles Dean into their neighbor’s lawn and plants soft kisses all over his face.
"Love you," Cas says into Dean’s skin. “Missed you. Missed you so much."
And Dean can’t stop touching Cas, running his hands over his face, neck, chest, back, backside…
Cas bites down in Dean’s lip and Dean’s a split second from asking Cas if he remembers where their bedroom is when Cas sits straight up, eyes wide.
"We have a niece," he says and his smile is so bright, Dean thinks his heart might break just looking at it. “And a sister-in-law."
"Would you like to meet them?" Dean asks. “Properly this time."
"Yes," Cas says. “So much." He rises and pulls Dean up with him. Dean slings his arm around Cas’ waist, holding him close. He doesn’t want to ever let go again.
He touches Cas’ cheek, tracing the line of his jaw. “I love you," he says and Cas sheds tears again, but this time, Dean thinks they might be happy ones. He knows because he’s doing the same.
"I love you, too," Cas says and kisses him.