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While everyone was hanging out and having fun on the beach, Jax was sitting in a chair by himself. He couldn’t face anyone after what happened during the shootout adventure. And after lashing out at Pomni. No matter how much he wanted to be with her deep down, he couldn’t allow himself to. Or he might repeat his mistake with Ribbit.
As he got lost in his thoughts, he was suddenly splashed with water from behind. And he already knew who it was. But he couldn’t really bring himself to care. He let out a sigh. “What was that for?”
Zooble walked to the side of him, still holding a now empty bucket. “Oh let me think. There’s that time you rolled me over with a steam roller, the time you pushed Gangle into a pool of piranhas, when you set me on fire, mailed me a pipe bomb, threw me into an active volcano. I could go on.” They sneered.
Jax honestly didn’t have the energy for this. He just wanted to be left alone. In reply, he scoffed. “Aren’t you supposed to be miserable about the ability to choose your own body or something?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be causing trouble for everyone?” They fired back. Jax wanted to say something, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead, he just turned away. He hoped maybe they’d just go away soon. Zooble continued. “I’ve been starting to think that maybe the ability to change is fine. Not needing to commit to one thing all the time.”
“How about that.” Jax said, deadpanned. He quickly started losing more interest in the conversation. He can’t find the energy to care right now. All he wanted was peace and quiet.
Zooble could sense something was wrong with him. He’s clearly hiding something, but of course won’t admit it. In an effort to get him to open up, they continue. “And if I do still have problems, I talk about them. With the people I trust.”
Jax suddenly stood up and smiled. “Good thing I don’t have any problems then!”
He started walking away when Zooble suddenly grabbed his arm. “Wait, where the h*ll do you think you’re going?”
Jax scoffed. “None of your business, Zooble.” He yanked his arm back and continued walking.
Zooble was very irritated, but not for the usual reason. They knew Jax was hiding something. And as much as they disliked him, he still shouldn’t suffer alone. They decided to go check on him when the beach party was over.
Pomni walked up with a towel behind her neck. “Is everything okay, Zooble?” She asked.
“Yeah. It’s just Jax.” They replied sorrowfully.
Pomni frowned. “It’s okay, I’ve been worried about him too.”
“I was thinking of checking on him. He’s probably in his room.”
“Do you wanna go together? I’d like to check on him too.” Pomni said while rocking on her heels.
Zooble nodded. “Yeah, sure.”
After that agreement, Zooble and Pomni joined the rest of the group and tried not to think too much about whatever is going on with Jax.
Meanwhile, Jax sulked back to his room. His depression was hitting him hard today. He didn’t want to interact with anybody. He had no energy left. So he just layed down in his bed, in hopes the sleep will help him escape for a bit.
He stared at the ceiling as the exhaustion slowly hit him. His eyes drifted closed and he fell asleep.
His mind started producing a very vivid dream. He was floating in a void with all these abstract shapes and colors. It was like something out of an acid trip, very bizarre. And yet, Jax felt oddly at peace. All of his worries faded away and he felt genuinely happy for the first time in a long time. He closed his eyes and gently smiled. Off in the distance, there were shapes resembling Ribbit and Kaufmo. His body relaxed as he felt more at ease. He wished he could stay here forever. At peace with himself, floating in a calming infinite void. And reuniting with his best friends. He wouldn’t mind staying here. No worries at all. He began floating toward a bright light. He still smiled, ready to soak in the light-
Jax suddenly jolted up as the sound of his doorbell woke him up. His eyes were multi-colored for a split second. That’s when he realized he almost abstracted. His heart was pounding as he panted. In a panic, he reached up and tapped his face to check if he was still physically here. Then he clutched his chest, trying to get his heart to slow down.
When he finally composed himself, he stood up and opened the door. “Ugh, way to interrupt my nap.” He said bitterly.
On the other side of the door was Pomni and Zooble. “Can we talk? Please?” Pomni pleaded.
Jax stared at them for a moment then sighed. “What is there to talk about?”
Zooble stepped in. “Look, you’re clearly acting weird. If you need to talk about something, tell us.”
Jax scoffed. “Don’t start acting like you care. You said it yourself, you hate me.”
“So you remember that.” Zooble responded.
“I may have been drunk, but I wasn’t that drunk.” He was about to slam the door when Zooble stopped it with their foot.
“I may hate you, but you’re still a person.”
Pomni nodded. “Yeah. We don’t want anyone to be alone in this place. Please just talk to us, Jax.” She pleaded.
Jax felt his temper rising. He rolled his eyes. “Just stop. I’m fine. Leave me alone.”
Zooble shook their head. “No. We’re not leaving until you tell us what’s bothering you.”
“Zooble, go. I’m not talking.” He said firmly.
“What is your problem?! We’re trying to help you!” Zooble shouted.
“I don’t need your help! Move!” He yelled back.
“D*mmit Jax! Why won’t you talk to us?!”
“It’s none of your business!”
Pomni stepped in. “Jax-”
He cut her off. “Stay out of this, Pomni! I told you we aren’t friends!”
“That’s not true! Drop the act!” She put her foot down.
Jax growled. “I swear to god if you don’t leave me alone, I’ll-”
“You’ll what?! Shut us out?! That’s not gonna happen!” Zooble yelled.
“Zooble why are you even here?!” Jax yelled back.
“Just stop being a stubborn j*ck*ss!”
Jax clenched his fists. “What the f*ck do you want from me?!”
“We just want you to talk to us!” Pomni yelled.
“Oh so what?! So you can manipulate me and rub every single mistake in my face?!”
Pomni’s expression changed to a look of surprise. “Jax…is that really what you think?”
Jax suddenly started getting flashbacks to the situation with Ribbit. He didn’t want that to happen again. He quickly felt terrified and his heart was beating faster. It soon started to dissolve into a panic attack. His breathing quickened.
Pomni and Zooble quickly noticed. Zooble reached out. “Woah, you okay?” They went to touch him.
Jax started going pale and slightly shaking. Seeing Zooble’s hand reach for him, he panicked. “Get away from me!” He pushed them out of the doorway and slammed the door hard.
Both Zooble and Pomni were confused. Neither of them have seen Jax act like that before. Well aside from Pomni having that fight with him. They glanced at each other with concern.
Pomni stepped closer to the door. “Jax?”
“Leave me alone!” He shouted through the door. Inside the room, he was on the ground, slumped against the door and hugging his knees. Tears rolled down his face. His chest hurt from the emotion.
Pomni turned towards Zooble. “Can you give me a minute alone with him, Zooble? I’ll call you back when he’s feeling better.”
Zooble nodded. “Got it.” With that, they left the area.
Pomni took a seat in front of the door. “We’re alone now, Jax. Zooble left. Will you talk to me?” She said gently.
Jax was heard sniffing from inside. “What, so you can rub every mistake I ever made in my face?”
“Of course not. I just want you to be honest. I know you’re hurting.”
Jax sighed. “Why do you still care? I’ve been terrible to you and everyone else. So why do you keep coming back?”
Pomni paused then replied. “Cause I don’t like seeing the ones I love in pain.” No reply back. She kept going. “Kinger told me the worst thing you can do is make someone feel like they’re not wanted or loved. And that includes you.”
There was another pause before Jax finally said something. “You’re not supposed to care. You’re not supposed to love me!” His voice trembled as he spoke. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to go!” The more he spoke, the harder he cried.
“You really think you’re the villain? That you’re irredeemable?” He had no reply to that. “Jax, you’re not a bad person. Yeah you made horrible mistakes, but as long as you’re willing to try, you can change. A bad person wouldn’t feel that guilty like you do.”
“...I’m just so tired.” He cried.
Pomni pressed her hand against the door. “I know. But I’m here for you. I’ll help you every step of the way. You just gotta trust me.”
There was a moment of silence until she suddenly heard the unlocking of the door. Pomni quickly stood up as the door swung open. There stood Jax, tears streaming down his face. He sniffed. “Thank you, Pomni.” He bent down and the two hugged each other.
Pomni smiled and started tearing up herself. “You’re welcome, Jax.” They held each other for a while, with Jax crying into her shoulder. Once he calmed down a bit, they finally pulled away and Jax stood back up. “Are you ready to talk to Zooble now?” She smiled softly. Jax wiped away his tears and nodded.
Pomni grabbed his hand and they walked to where Zooble was. They were just outside the hall, waiting. When they saw them coming, they stood up. “Hey, you two okay?”
Pomni nodded and waited for Jax to respond. He turned his head slightly and wiped away more tears. “I’m better. Sorry Zooble.”
“No problem. I’m just…glad you’re doing okay now.” They smiled.
Jax let out a heavy sigh. “I think I should come out and say it now.” He took a deep breath to steel his nerves and began. “I never had a great relationship with my parents. My dad always treated me like I was an embarrassment.” He fidgeted with his hands anxiously as he spoke. “My parents eventually divorced when I started high school. I thought I had a better relationship with my mom, but she wasn’t much different from my dad. A bunch of criticism and personal degrading insults every day.” He sighed heavily again. “One stupid day, I got fed up with it and told her something I regret saying.”
“What did you tell her?” Pomni asked gently.
Jax looked hesitant but decided to just say it. “I…came out as trans. I was born a man, but never felt comfortable in my skin. I was never able to fully transition behind my mom’s back.”
Both Pomni and Zooble frowned. That was when Zooble realized they had more in common with Jax than they thought.
Jax continued. “I had come out to her and she…laughed at me. Then she yelled at me and it didn’t stop there. She threw insult after insult at me and felt like it went on forever. But despite it all, the thing that bothered me the most was at the end, she…hugged me.” He recoiled into himself. “I-I-I didn’t know what to do. I panicked and pushed her away with all the force I could. She fell…and didn’t get back up.” He sighed. “I don’t know if she was just trying to make me feel bad, but I didn’t find out. I ran away as fast as I could and didn’t look back. And I ended up here. What happened to her, I’ll never know. I guess there’s a lot of things I regret that day.” He lowered his head with a depressed look.
Zooble finally broke the silence. “Look man, it’s not your fault. I understand the feeling of trying to figure out who you are and what you want. So if you need any help, let me know.”
Pomni nodded in agreement. “Yeah. We’re all in this together. I’m not giving up on you, Jax. Please don’t be scared to reach out.”
Jax stared for a moment before smiling and tearing up again. He lightly chuckled. “This is embarrassing.” He said as he wiped away his tears.
Pomni chuckled as well. “You should get some rest. I’ll walk you to your room.” They all stood up.
Before walking away, Zooble placed a hand on Jax’s shoulder. “Thanks for telling us. Let me know if you need anything.”
Jax nodded. “Okay. Thanks Zooble.” Zooble nodded back in response.
With that, Pomni and Jax walked down the hall to his room. While walking, the jester brought up an offer. “Would you like me to stay with you? You probably don’t want to be alone right now.” She smiled gently.
Jax pondered for a bit before replying. “...That’d be nice.” He blushed slightly.
They soon arrived at his room. Jax opened the door and the two stepped in, Pomni closing the door behind them.
Not knowing what else to do, Jax went straight to his bed and layed on his back. Pomni followed him after and crawled into the bed, resting on his chest. “I’m glad you were honest with me.” Pomni said in a hushed voice.
Jax lightly chuckled. “Stop getting sappy on me. I’ve dealt with that enough for one day.”
Pomni giggled in return. “Alright, I’ll stop. I’ll stay quiet so you can rest.”
“No. Keep talking.” He blurted out.
Pomni was slightly shocked. “Does that help you?” He nodded. “Well okay then. Anything specific?”
“Tell me about the beach.”
Pomni nodded and spoke. “Well, I swam around with Ragatha. We were doing water polo and I accidentally hit the ball too hard and knocked out her button eye.”
Jax chuckled. “Sounds pretty funny.”
“Heh yeah.” Jax closed his eyes as Pomni continued. “I dove underwater to get it and ran into these weird fish. They told me about this treasure chest but it was already empty.” Jax gave another half hearted chuckle. “They were pretty strange. I actually ended up forgetting about Ragatha’s eye and had to go back-” She was interrupted by the sound of light snoring. Jax finally fell asleep. Pomni quietly giggled. “Goodnight Jax.”
A long time passed until Jax started groaning and stirring around. Pomni quickly noticed and looked at him.
She raised her head. “Jax?” She saw he had a pained expression on his face and one of his legs started twitching.
“Nooo… Nooo…” He muttered. “Ribbit…nooo.” He seemingly was having a nightmare.
Pomni quickly jumped in to comfort him. “Hey, it’s okay Jax. I’m right here. It’s just a dream.” She soothingly rubbed his chest in hopes he’ll calm down.
Almost a minute passed until he finally relaxed. His face and body relaxed. “Pomni…” He mumbled.
“I got you.” She whispered.
He soon stopped moving and fell back into a peaceful rest.
Pomni snuggled him closer and closed her eyes. She was determined to never leave his side again.