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Maddie stares at the signed lease that just plopped onto the kitchen island in front of her. She skims through it and looks up.
“You really got it?”
Buck nods excitedly.
“I did. I mean it’s expensive and it’ll definitely make me eat into my savings for the first few months while you help me find furniture?”
“Why don’t you have Earthquake Girl help you?”
“Because it’s not like that with her Mads. At all.”
“So what you signed on the dotted line to get her to stop flirting with you?”
“That is not not what happened?” Maddie spares him a glance and Buck sighs. “I really thought she was trying to be nice. And I needed to get out of Abby’s apartment. Not exactly my fault she took it as me being okay with her randomly ending up at the showings. This was the only apartment that didn’t happen to come from her realtor friend.”
“Mhmm, and what did Eddie say about Ali trying and failing to get a date with you?”
“Mads…”
“What? You really want to tell me that you aren’t crushing on him?”
“I never said I was crushing on him, I just thought it was him you were—”
She waits. Buck sighs and lower his head in mock defeat. Maddie hums as she walks around her kitchen to grab the rest of the herbs on the cutting board and sliding them into the sautéing sauce on the stove.
“Will you help me find stuff or not?”
She shakes her head, grabbing a small spoon and dipping it slowly into the sauce. She blows on it gently and tastes it, it’s good, but something is missing.
“Yes, now can you try this and tell me what you think?"
Buck holds out his hand for the spoon and takes it into his mouth, wincing slightly at the temperature.
“What sauce are you trying to make?”
“A marinara. I really didn’t want takeout again.”
“Did you add salt at all?”
“Fuck.”
Maddie moves to grab the salt as Buck lowers the flame on the stove itself. He leans back and taps his fingers on the side of the counter.
“Why do you think I have a crush on him?”
“Buck, your entire face lit up when you started talking about him. How no one else has noticed, I will never understand.”
“Am I really that bad?”
She laughs and mixes in the salt, taking the time to test it again. She hums and turns the heat off.
“Is this you admitting it?”
She pulls out an open bag of dried linguine from her cupboard, the soft noises of pots clanking with the stove’s hardware filling the silence. Buck watches her pour water into a pot and crush salt over it before starting the flame. He smiles at the immediate urge to tell her she was supposed to wait until the water was boiling to salt it, something Bobby had just taught him after graduating from making breakfast for the team. He meets her eyes and realizes he hasn’t answered her question.
“His wife just came back.”
“Yeah, who he told you he wants to divorce.”
“That doesn’t mean —”
“Evan.”
“I don’t know, okay? I didn’t think about him like that, not until we had that call with Mitchell and Thomas.”
“The couple right? Husband was pinned by their car?”
Buck nods, pushing himself off the counter.
“At first I thought it was a sign to try with Taylor you know? Maybe we could actually be something, if we tried, but she’s not looking for that and I don’t think I want that with her.”
“But you want that with Eddie?”
He groans.
“Thomas told me something I can’t get out of my head, and I think that’s what he is, what both Eddie and Chris are for me.”
Maddie tosses the pasta into the now boiling water.
“What did he say?”
“He told me that they made their life together, that it wasn’t something they found. Thomas looked at them covering up his husband and told me that everything they had was because one of them dared to do something and the other followed. I don’t know if I’m the one reckless enough to try or if I’m following his lead but Eddie’s already someone I want in my life for good.”
She watches him as he takes a breath, turning the heat off for the sauce and checking the pasta.
“Evan —” She starts but Buck’s slowly starting to pace and she smiles softly. "You know it's okay to love him right?"
"Oh god, Maddie. What am I gonna do?" Buck breathes out.
"Are you freaking because it's a guy? Or because it's Eddie?"
"I can't lose him."
"And you won't. Take a breath for me." She waits.
"Buck," she laughs, "he's also your best friend. Even if, and that's a big if he doesn't feel the same he won't push you away. He loves you. Anyone can see that."
Buck turns to her and points at the stove.
“Save a little of the pasta water, Bobby says it makes the sauce stick to the pasta better.”
She laughs.
“I will, listen to me first?"
He nods.
"There is nothing wrong with wanting Eddie in your life, as a best friend, as a partner, as anything. You deserve that. I’m sure he does too.”
“That doesn’t mean that he likes me back. Mads, He's fucking married.”
Maddie turns off the stove and moves toward the sink to drain the pasta. The steam rises up as she unceremoniously pours the majority of it down the drain. She stops right before the last of the pasta water dribbles out, remembering what Buck said. The stove is turned back on as she brings the linguine into the sauce pan, tossing it gently, only a few drops spilling to the side. Buck grabs plates from behind himself and forks from the drawer. Maddie whips the pan around and starts putting pasta on each plate, careful not to spill any.
“Sit, eat.” She smiles at him. “I’m gonna say something and I don’t want you to interrupt.”
Buck opens his mouth and she shushes him.
“Stop. I know you want to spiral about this and I'm not gonna let you. You don’t know what Eddie feels, only what he’s told you right?" Buck nods at her, a bit of sauce on the corner of his mouth. "So let’s go over that. He hasn’t wanted the attention of people on calls. When Shannon came back it messed with his head, he's done everything he can to stay focused on what Christopher needs not how he feels about the situation, he's been wanting a divorce, and calls himself a single dad. Again, this is what you and Howie have told me, am I right so far?"
Maddie pushes her pasta around, twirling it onto the fork before taking a bite. She waits. Buck swallows.
“Yeah?”
"Then why are you stuck on Shannon coming back?”
"I don't know."
“He kissed her didn’t he?”
“Exactly!”
“Buck, what was his response to kissing her?”
He stops, his fork falling on the plate.
“He called me," he thinks back to the frantic call, Eddie's voice broken and sad, "he said he just needed a night in.”
“A night in?”
“I thought he meant it as us hanging out so he could talk about it, me going home after.”
“But he didn’t.”
“No… we um, we watched something with Chris and he fell asleep in between us before it was even over. Eddie didn’t bat an eye at me carrying him to bed, just hummed and said we should have a family movie night more often as he handed me a beer. Then he told me he regretted kissing her.”
"Family movie night."
Buck sighs, he knows what that sounds like.
“Maybe it’s not so crazy to think he might like you too?”
“Maddie.”
“Don’t take my word for it, take Thomas’s.”
Buck looks at her, ready to say something when his phone rings. It’s Eddie. Maddie shakes her head and stands up, taking Buck’s plate with her own.
“Tell him I said hi.”
Buck swipes on his phone, answering.
“Hey, Eds.”
“Hey, You’re with Maddie for dinner right?"
"Yeah, she says hi by the way."
"Hi Maddie." Eddie laughs. "You wanna come over after? Chris keeps asking if there's any new zoo exhibits and you know way more about it than I do."
He smiles.
“You want me to come over for something you could google?”
"I want you to come over, period."
"Okay. Want me to bring anything?"
“Nah, we just need you.”