Archive of Our Own

Theo is really good at coloring. Everyone says so. His Buck says he's a future artist and his Eddie hangs all of his coloring pages on the fridge. Theo is basically as talented as the old guys they show on Little Einsteins. Which is why it's particularly frustrating when Mrs. Nancy interrupts his coloring to talk to him.

Mrs. Nancy is an alright teacher, she's not as good as Mrs. Bryant who is currently on the other side of the room telling Joey not to eat a crayon, but she's fine. Sometimes she annoys Theo, like right now, when she bugs him while he's coloring.

"Theo, I heard it's your Daddies' birthdays this weekend," Mrs. Nancy says, she doesn't comment on his super cool picture. She's probably too in awe, so he'll let it slide. What he doesn't let slide is her saying it's his Daddies' birthdays.

Theo doesn't have daddies. Theo has a Daddy who is in heaven and a Buck and an Eddie. He remembers Chris telling him that people can be weird sometimes when your mommy or daddy is in heaven, so he doesn't call Mrs. Nancy a poophead even if he wants to. Instead, he focuses on the other part of her sentence.

"My Buck and Eddie's birthday is this weekend?" Theo asks.

Mrs. Nancy nods, "Yep that's why they're picking you up early from school tomorrow, so you can go to the party."

"At Maddie's and Jee's Dad's house," Theo offers, because he knew this part. Though he didn't know about the birthdays. Sometimes Theo doesn't always have the best listening ears. He remembers that they're going to Maddie's house and that he gets to play with Jee and her circle baby brother, but not that it's a birthday party.

"Will there be cake?" Theo hopes there will. Maybe Buck will let him blow out the candles. Theo's not allowed to touch fire because it is hot, but birthdays are the special exception when he's allowed to get kinda close.

"I'm not sure buddy, I'm not going to the party." Well that's good; Theo doesn't really want Mrs. Nancy at the party, she'd probably make him eat his cake with his fork and not his hands. "I was thinking you might be coloring a card for them."

Theo looks down at the coloring in front of him. He wasn't. He's coloring in a puffer fish for Jee's Dad because his hair is spiky like that. Buck's hair is curly and Eddie's hair is shiny. Neither of them look like a puffer fish. Why would they want a puffer fish?

Especially for their birthday. Cards are the worst part about birthdays because you have to read them, and Theo can't read. So he has to wait for someone else to read them while his present is just sitting there waiting for him to open it. Cards are pure torture, even worse than the bad guys in Spider-man.

"I need to get them presents," Theo announces. He doesn't want to torture his Buck and Eddie with stupid birthday cards.

"That's a very sweet idea Theo," Mrs. Nancy gives him a big toothy smile and her breath smells a little like yogurt, "Do you want to make something?"

Theo shakes his head, "Good presents come from the store." Which is true, all the best things come from the store, like Nerf guns and Cheetos.

"Well then I guess you'll need someone to take you to the store," Mrs. Nancy offers, then she's distracted by Esperanza who is trying to do a cartwheel, "Feet stay on the ground please!"

Mrs. Nancy leaves him to go be a poophead somewhere else, but her words stick with Theo. He needs to go to the store and buy presents for his Buck and Eddie, and he needs to do it today. He considers his options. He can't ask Buck or Eddie to go to the store because then they'll know and it will ruin the surprise. He also needs to go today because the party is tomorrow. Actually he needs to go right now because Buck is making pizza for dinner and he can't miss that.

He stands and walks over to Mrs. Bryant who has taken away crayons from Joey. Silly Joey, crayons don't even taste good—Theo would know, yellow crayons do not taste like yellow. Besides the best part of eating stuff is the chewing and crayons don't even chew good. Theo would much rather chew on something better like plastic.

"Mrs. Bryant, I need to go to the store," Theo informs her.

She looks at him in confusion, "The store?"

He nods, "It's my Buck and my Eddie's birthday and I need to buy them presents."

"That's really kind Theo, but we're at preschool right now," Mrs. Bryant seems genuinely sad to not be able to help Theo go to the store.

"Can I use your phone so I can have a car bring me?" Theo asks. One time they rode in a car when the truck was at the fixers. It was really cool. The driver gave Theo a high five.

"Do you have money to pay for a car?"

Shoot. It always comes back to money. Theo really needs to get a job. He shakes his head. Theo feels so sad, he wants to be able to buy presents for his Buck and Eddie. He feels a tear slip down his face and he slaps it away.

"Why don't I take you to the office and we'll get a cup of water and think of a plan?" Mrs. Bryant offers.

Theo nods, grabbing his backpack and then following Mrs. Bryant to the office. Ms. Martha the secretary works in the office and she's super duper nice. She always sneaks Theo a gummy bear when he has to go to the office.

She smiles at him when he enters, but her smile leaves her face when she sees the frown on Theo's face, "What's wrong, honey?"

"Tomorrow is my Buck and my Eddie's birthday party and I didn't get them a present," Theo whines running toward her. She wraps him up in a hug.

"Oh sweetheart, you have such a kind heart," Ms. Martha squeezes him extra tight to get all the sadness out.

"We're going to have a glass of water and think of a solution," Mrs. Bryant tells her.

She lets Theo go, and he sits on one of the big chairs on the wall while Mrs. Bryant finds some water. While Theo waits, Ms. Martha answers the phone. The phone! Theo can call someone who can bring him to the store.

Theo opens his backpack and pulls out his special paper. Buck made it for him in case of emergencies, and what was this moment if not an emergency? On the paper is all of his grown up friends pictures and their names and phone numbers. He can call one of them!

Now he just needs to figure out which one. He knows he can't call Buck or Eddie because it's their birthday, and he can't call Athena because he's pretty sure she'll take him to jail for leaving preschool early. He could call Maddie, but sometimes she can be kind of a tattle tale. Jee's Dad is a bad idea because he's too silly. Chris can't drive and May is always in school. Which leaves him with one option.

"Mrs. Bryant can I call Ravi please?"

She looks at him in surprise as she hands him the water, "Who is Ravi?" Theo pauses for a moment. Ravi is Ravi. He's fights fires and he gives Theo piggyback rides when he asks.

Luckily, Ms. Martha is one step ahead of him, "He's on the pick up list, Ravi Panikkar."

Ms. Martha is so smart. Theo gives her a high five, "He can take me shopping."

Now that Theo really thinks about it, Ravi is the perfect choice. Ravi can run fast and his Eddie says he has lots of money because he's like the monopoly man. Theo doesn't really know what that means, but he thinks it means he's like the guy on the pringles can. Which is really fancy.

Theo hands Ms. Martha his paper with Ravi's face on it and she shows Theo how to press the right buttons to call him. Ms. Martha helps him hold the phone to his head because it's a little too big for him.

The phone rings and for a moment Theo is worried Ravi won't pick up, until finally, "Hello?"

"Ravi!" Theo cheers.

"Baby Buckling," Ravi greets him back. Theo laughs, quacking into the phone to sound like a duck. "What's up buddy? Everything okay at preschool?"

Theo shakes his head before remembering that Ravi can't see him like on facetime. "No, it's my Buck and my Eddie's birthday and I didn't buy them presents."

Ravi makes a funny noise on the phone before speaking, "Well that sounds rough, buddy."

"Can you come get me and bring me to the store?" Theo pauses remembering his manners, "Pretty please?"

There's silence on the other end of the phone then Ravi asks, "Is that allowed?"

Theo turns to look at Ms. Martha who has been listening, she smiles her special Theo and Ms. Martha smile and says, "Well he is on the pick up list."

"You're on the pick up list," Theo informs him.

"Right, yes I sure am. Well I guess I'll be there…soon?" Ravi asks it like a question, which is silly because Theo knows he's coming.

"He's coming soon!" Theo cheers to Ms. Martha and Mrs. Bryant. Ms. Martha cheers with him.

"Theo can stick with me until he gets here," Ms. Martha says as she motions with her hands to send Mrs. Bryant away. This is going to be the best day ever.

Ravi takes forever to come, but when he does he's holding a bug juice so Theo thinks it's worth it.

"Sorry it took so long I had to stop and buy a car seat," Ravi tells Ms. Martha. Theo deflates a little, he kind of hoped he'd get to not use one like Chris. He takes the bug juice to remind himself how good today is going to be.

"Ravi! We have to buy my Buck and my Eddie one billion presents," Theo announces with a cheer.

"Wow a billion feels like a lot," Ravi's eyebrows raise all funny.

Theo nods, "Eddie says that's how many toys I have."

Ms. Martha looks between him and Ravi, "You know, Theo, in my family we have a tradition for birthdays. You get four things, something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read."

Theo thinks for a moment, Ms. Martha is pretty cool and, "I'm four!"

"You sure are Baby Buckling," Ravi gives him a thumbs up.

"Four is good," Theo confirms.

He makes Ravi write down Ms. Martha's instructions before they can leave. Ms. Martha also makes him sign the special sign out sheet. Theo grabs his backpack and his bug juice and Ravi let's him have a piggyback ride as they leave the school. Today is totally awesome.

Theo's allowed to sit in the cart which makes the day even more awesome. They start with books for the something to read. This, as it turns out is pretty easy. Theo knows his Buck and Eddie really well so finding things for them is super easy. Buck loves talking about dinosaurs with Theo so he picks out a fun book with really cool dinosaurs.

Eddie is a little bit harder until they find nice book with a grumpy frog on it that reminds Theo of Eddie. Ravi laughs when Theo tells him it looks like Eddie.

They make their way to the clothing section next. Ravi points out a few jackets that are boring.

"We need to get something good. Not those yucky jackets," Theo explains, because Ravi is not doing a good job.

"Well what do you—" if Ravi finishes his sentence Theo doesn't hear him because he finds the perfect thing for Buck. Hanging from the rack is a bright pink apron with words on it that look like a cheetah. Buck loves wearing aprons and he says that anyone can like pink, not just girls.

"It's perfect!" Theo cheers, "What does it say?"

Ravi follows Theo's pointed finger, and his face gets all silly when he reads it, "I don't need a recipe. I'm Italian."

Theo nods, sounds good to him, except— "What's a recipe? And what does Italian mean?"

Ravi squeezes his eyes shut for a long moment before responding. He must be thinking hard. "A recipe is instructions that tell you how to cook food." The apron is right, Buck never follows instructions when he's cooking. Like when Theo tells him to do things, he always says wait a minute Theo I'm cooking.

"Italian is like, um okay so there's this place called Italy. Being Italian means that someone is from Italy. Like my family is from India so I'm Indian," Ravi fiddles with the handles of the cart as he speaks. Theo reaches out to pinch his finger for fun. Ravi manages to get his hand away just in time.

Theo tries to think if Buck is from Italy. "My daddy's Daddy was from Haiti, I think. Daddy wanted me to visit before he went to heaven. Is it like that?"

Ravi's face changes into the funny face adults make when he talks about his Mommy or Daddy. "Yeah, it's like that. I don't know if Buck is Italian though."

"How do you know?"

"Well Italians in America, um well honestly they talk about being Italian a lot," Ravi pauses, thinking, "Sometimes they eat pasta, and sometimes they move their hands around a lot while talking."

Well that sounds like Buck. He reaches and puts the apron in the cart. Now they just need something for Eddie to wear. Ravi pushes the cart toward what he calls the gym clothes, which is just even more boring.

Theo thinks about his Eddie. Eddie is the bestest ever. He is funny and he gives good hugs and sometimes his hair is all fluffy and nice. Theo needs to find something like that.

Ravi is pointing out ugly shorts and shirts until finally Theo sees the perfect thing. It's big and fluffy just like his Eddie. "What is that?"

Ravi pauses, stepping away from a stinky brown shirt to the cool white thing Theo is staring at, "That's a robe."

"My Eddie needs it," Theo insists trying to extend his hands far enough to reach it.

Ravi takes pity on him and grabs one off the rack, "Honestly, you're right, Eddie could use this to relax."

"What does relax mean?"

"Like being chill. You know, having a calm body and feeling happy."

Theo tries to give Ravi his stinkiest stink eye, "My Eddie always has a calm body. He's the bestest, and he's always happy because he has me and Chris and Buck."

Ravi's eyes widen, "Oh, yeah you're right my bad."

Theo nods, it is Ravi's bad, but Theo can forgive him. After all Ravi is the one with the car and the money, and they still have two more things to get each of them.

"Thank you for 'pologizing," Theo taps Ravi's hand twice like Eddie does to him when he's proud of him.

Ravi blinks a couple times, but doesn't say anything else. Theo directs them to the kitchen section of the store to find Buck's something he needs.

"Why does Buck need a new electric kettle?" Ravi asks, as he puts the new one in the cart.

"I put chocolate milk in it, and he didn't know and it got stinky."

"Oh," Ravi's nose scrunches, "Ew."

Theo nods, "Yeah."

"When did that happen?"

"I put the milk in," Theo pauses counting on his fingers, "three sleeps ago, but I don't think Buck's found where I hid it yet."

Ravi's face scrunches even more, "Dude, you really gotta tell Buck about that."

Theo rolls his eyes. He won't need to if he gets him a new kettle, duh. He ignores Ravi, moving on to what Buck wants which is also in the kitchen section. He points it out to Ravi who immediately sighs, "He really wants this?"

Theo nods, "He looks at it every time we come, but he says it's too fergalicious."

Ravi stares at him, "Fergalicious, like the song?"

"Yeah, fergalicious. When it's too much money so it makes the boys go loco," Theo sings the song Buck plays in the car.

"Frivolous?" Ravi offers.

"That too."

"He really wants the ninja slushee?" Ravi asks, face scrunching again.

Theo nods. Buck really does want it, and Theo wants it too, maybe they can make his bug juice into a slushee. Ravi sighs and places it into the cart. Theo hears him mumble something under his breath about it costing a lot of money, but it's okay because Ravi has grown up money.

"Alright, last two things for Eddie. Let's hope he has less expensive taste," Ravi starts pushing the cart again.

Theo's honestly not sure what Eddie needs. Eddie is super cool and he can just fix stuff that's broken or make it with his tool box. Like when he fixed Buck's truck.

"What do you think Eddie needs?" Theo asks, maybe Ravi has a good idea.

Ravi mumbles under his breath, something about coming out of something. Which is silly because Eddie isn't stuck inside of anything right now. In fact, when Theo accidentally locked Buck in the bathroom, Eddie was the one who got him out.

"He used to have a mustache. I think he needs to bring that back," Ravi offers.

"What's a mustache?" Ravi sure says a lot of words Theo doesn't know.

Ravi pulls up a picture of Eddie and he's got hair on his face. He looks nice, he looks like the guy from the pringles can. Theo loves pringles.

"Yeah he needs that, and pringles. How do you buy a mustache?"

"There's probably some pretend ones in the toy aisle," Ravi makes a sharp turn of the cart as he heads for that section. Theo brightens, remembering that this store has a toy section, "Can I get a toy too?"

Ravi sighs, but it's a good sigh. It's the same sigh Buck makes right before he gives Theo something that he wants. "One thing, but it has to be small."

Theo nods, sucker.

They do end up finding toy mustaches, and because Ravi is a total sucker, Theo gets two toys. A surprise dinosaur egg and a nerf gun, which Ravi only agrees to buy him after he promises to shoot Buck in the butt with it.

"Alright, big spender. Let's get the last thing we need. Do you remember what it is?" Ravi asks.

"Something Eddie wants!"

"Perfect, what does Eddie want?"

Theo freezes. What does Eddie want? It's easy to know what Buck wants. Buck talks about what he wants all the time. Slushee machines and new baking stuff, and flower pots and to stop at Taco Bell. Eddie never talks about what he wants. Eddie just helps everyone else get what they want.

He surprises Theo with his favorite snack, and he picks up new video games for Chris, and he even drives through Taco Bell even though he thinks the food is icky. Never once, in all of the time that Theo's known his Eddie has he ever asked for something. Oh no.

"I don't know what Eddie wants," Theo can feel his bottom lip start to shake in worry.

"Hey it's alright, let's think hard," Ravi comforts him by giving him a pat on the back.

Theo thinks hard, really hard. Then he remembers something. Last week, he was sneaking up on Chris to scare him when he was talking on his computer to Denny, but before he could get him Chris had said, 'it's so obvious how much my dad wants to kiss Buck. I wish he would just do it already'.

"I know!" Theo gasped, "He wants to kiss Buck."

Ravi's face does a lot of silly things all at once. Finally it settles on a tight smile, "Unfortunately, I think you're right about that little buckling."

"Why unfortunately?" Theo takes his time with that word trying his best to say it like Ravi did.

"Well, how are we going to give that to Eddie?"

Theo thinks hard, "Well, we could make my Buck kiss him?"

Ravi shakes his head, "I don't think you can tell other people how they use their bodies, right?"

Theo sighs, Ravi's right. It's important to let people choose how they get touched and who they touch. That's a rule at his house. Theo feels his lip start to shake again. Why is this so hard?

Ravi throws his hands into the air, "Why don't we get something that can help Eddie kiss Buck?"

Theo blinks hard, feeling a tear run down his cheek, "Like what?"

Ravi looks slightly panicked, "Uh, lip balm."

"What's that?"

"It makes your lips soft. Which is good for kissing?" Ravi asks it like a question even though Theo is pretty sure it isn't.

Theo eyes him suspiciously, "Do you kiss people?"

Ravi's cheeks look like he has a fever, "Uh, yeah."

"Who?"

"May."

Before Theo can ask more questions Ravi's phone starts to ring, "Oh sh—sugar it's Buck."

"Hey man!"

Ravi doesn't put the phone on speaker, but he can still hear everything Buck says, "Did you kidnap my child?"

"Uh, what makes you say that?"

"Ms. Martha ratted you out," Buck sounds cranky. Uh oh.

"Well it was nice of her to give us a head start."

"He's on the pickup list," Theo yells toward the phone.

"Oh my god you did. Ravi what the fudge?" Phone Buck yells.

"Theo called me and said it was an emergency," Ravi responds.

"An emergency that needed you, and not his legal guardian?!"

"Weirdly yes," Ravi offers, pushing the cart toward the lip balm and grabbing one at random. Normally Theo would protest, but it's clear they need to leave the store now.

"What on earth?" Buck begins, but Theo interrupts him.

"I needed to buy you and Eddie birthday presents. I forgot. I'm really sorry," Theo does his best to make his voice extra polite.

There's a long pause on the phone, Ravi gives Theo a thumbs up. Buck sighs, "That's really sweet honey, but you can't just leave preschool any time you want. School is really important."

"You and Eddie are more important," Theo argues. Ravi whispers something about laying it on thick, but gives him another thumbs up.

Buck sighs again, "Well next time if you think you need to leave preschool I want you to call me for permission first, okay?"

Theo nods, then remembers Buck can't see him, "I'm nodding my head."

Buck laughs, "Alright baby. You and Ravi are going to come straight home now, alright?"

"Alright," Theo sighs. He was hoping to get a happy meal next, "I love you Buck. Happy almost birthday."

"Thanks, baby. Ravi?"

"Yeah, Buck?"

"You're going to wish for the chainsaw after I'm through with you."

Ravi gulps and Theo giggles. Best day ever.

Playing at Maddie's house is always awesome, but today is even awesomer because all of his friends are there. They start the day with Mara being a teacher, and Theo, Jee and her circle brother all being the students. Except it's not boring like normal school, it's super cool and Mara gives them all stickers for being good.

Ravi arrives to the party a little late, but Theo lets him get away with it because he wrapped all of the presents for Theo. Buck's presents are red like a firetruck and Eddie's are yellow like a bagel with eggs in it. They look nice. Theo gives him a high five in approval. Hen watches them high five, "Well if it isn't the partners in crime. Ravi do you plan to let him play hooky from the party too?"

Theo doesn't know what hooky means, but he can tell that she's teasing Ravi so he giggles, "Ravi's the bestest. He's my best friend. Well, second best friend behind Chris."

His Eddie gives him a squinty look from where he's watching him, "Oh and my Eddie." Theo thinks for a second, "And Buck and Maddie and Jee and Mara and Athena."

Ravi gives him a silly face, "So I'm your ninth best friend?"

Theo nods, "Nine is like a six upside down."

Ravi smiles, "That's a really good point."

Just as he's about to ask Ravi if he can ride on his shoulders Jee's Dad pretends to be a monster and they all get to run around. Theo is a really good runner. He's so fast that Eddie gives him a popsicle.

After the popsicle they have cake. It's not like a regular birthday party it's special because there are two cakes. Theo checked and the frosting on both of them is super yummy. He's also super smart and only took a couple secret licks of the frosting so no one notices it's missing.

Eddie lets him blow out the candles on his cake while Jee blows out the candles on Buck's. Theo's a way better candle blower outer, but Jee still did a good job. They all sing the happy birthday song and then it's finally the thing Theo's been waiting for all day.

"I go first!" Theo announces the second his Buck and Eddie are sitting on the couch.

Ravi nods handing them all of the presents, "Is there an order you want to do it in?"

Theo nods. He thought about this a lot last night over Buck's homemade pizza. Obviously you had to start with the books because books are boring, even fun books with grumpy frogs and dinosaurs. Then they should do the "something they need" because if Buck gets mad about the kettle he'll still have two more presents. After that, the clothes, and finally they can finish the party with slushees and kisses!

He whispers this plan to Ravi. Chris and Denny help by covering Buck and Eddie's ears. Ravi agrees with Theo's plan because Theo is very smart. Though he does make a funny face when Theo mentions the kiss balm.

Eddie pulls Theo into his lap, "Do you want to tell everyone at the party how you got these presents?"

Theo nods, "Ms. Martha at school said that I should go to the store and get you four presents because a billion is too many. So I called Ravi and he picked me up from preschool, he also bought me a bug juice!"

Some of the people at the party laugh, Theo preens under the attention. Ravi continues the story, "So we got you something you want something you need, something to wear and something to read. But not in that order because that would be too easy."

Theo nods, "Open your books."

Eddie keeps him tucked into his side as he opens the yellow paper. Jee's Dad holds up a big trash bag and Eddie shoots the paper like a basketball. He is so cool. Buck also throws his paper and Theo giggles when he misses.

"Dinosaurs! Awesome!" Buck gives him a happy smile, and in return Theo pokes him on the nose in excitement.

"Grumpy frog?" Eddie asks.

Theo nods turning the book like his teacher does so everyone can see, "He looks like you!"

Buck laughs and Eddie takes the opportunity to tickle Theo's sides. Eddie is the bestest ever. Theo's so glad he got him all these good presents. He going to be extra happy once he gets his kiss balm to kiss Buck. Eddie gives the best kisses because at the end he always goes MWAH which is so silly and funny.

Ravi hands them both their next present. Eddie opens his first, pulling out the fake mustache that he and Ravi found. Jee's Dad cheers as he opens the package and sticks it to his face, "Theo you're a genius."

Theo smiles because he is a genius. Eddie looks funny with the mustache, Theo's not sure if he likes it all that much, "You look funny."

Eddie laughs, "You don't think I should grow my mustache back? Didn't you know that having a mustache makes me give better kisses?"

Eddie grabs Theo kissing all over his face like a kiss monster. The mustache feels funny on his face and makes him giggle extra hard, "It tickles!"

Theo finally frees himself from Eddie's grasp and makes his way over to the safety of Buck's lap. Buck doesn't seem to notice him at first, too busy staring at Eddie. He must really think his mustache is funny. Theo places his hands on Buck's cheeks and shakes his head so he'll pay attention to him. Buck gives him a smile and swings him around so he can sit on his lap properly.

Buck opens his present next, "An electric kettle! Just like the one we have at home so you knew I'd like it. Thanks, bud!"

Theo nods in agreement, but Eddie is on to him, "Theo, why did Buck need a kettle?"

"To make tea."

Eddie raises an eyebrow, "What happened to his old kettle?"

"It broke." Theo hangs his head.

"How did it break?"

"Chocolate milk."

Buck looks down at Theo, "You put chocolate milk in the kettle?"

Theo nods, "I wanted it to have bubbles, and you said I wasn't allowed to make anymore with my straw."

"How did chocolate milk break it?" Chris asks from across the room.

"Stinky?" Theo scrunches his nose.

Eddie sighs, "Where is the kettle now?"

Theo frowns, "Under the bed."

Buck makes a sad noise which prompts Theo to distract him with his next present. He shoves it into his hands and cheers Ta Da. Buck opens it to find his super amazing apron. Buck looks at it and begins to laugh, his big belly laugh he does when he's feeling really happy. Theo wiggles in excitement.

"Theo, do you know what Italian means?"

Theo nods, because Ravi taught him, "It means you like pasta. Ravi 'splained it."

Another laugh rips through the crowd. Hen pats Ravi on the back, "Great work there Ravioli."

"You trying explaining nationality to a little white boy."

Theo's scrunches his nose because his clothes are blue and green, Buck doesn't buy him white clothes because he spills on them too much, "My shirt is green."

Eddie nods at him, confirming that his shirt is in fact green, then he opens a present. The present is just as fluffy and amazing as Theo remembered it being, "It's comfy and cozy like you!"

Eddie gives him his best Eddie smile, which only looks slightly funny with the fake mustache. Theo can't help, but reach across the couch to cuddle into him. "Thank you Theo this is really sweet."

"Maybe you'll actually relax with this Eds," Buck jokes. Theo always thinks it's so funny when his Buck calls his Eddie 'Eds' it's like his name but littler.

"Yeah Eds," Theo singsongs.

Eddie pokes his sides, "How am I supposed to relax when I'm surrounded by crazy people?"

Theo giggles and looks around, Eddie's right, Jee's Dad and Buck are pretty crazy sometimes. While Theo giggles, Ravi presents the final gifts. Theo thinks it looks a little funny that Buck's present is so big and Eddie's is so small, but he knows that Eddie's present is really important.

"I think now is a good time to remind everyone that Theo picked out all of the presents, and all I did and was pay for them and push the cart," Ravi announces.

"You also jailbroke him from preschool," Athena reminds him.

"That's like the least illegal thing anyone in this room has done," Ravi argues.

Bickering breaks out among the group as they argue about their various crimes. Mara and Chris in particular seem offended about whether or not they've committed crimes. Theo doesn't give it much attention though, too focused on the presents being opened before him. Buck sticks the bow on his head, informing Theo that he is the best present Buck's ever gotten.

Then that's forgotten a few moments later when he sees the slushee machine. Which Theo understands, slushees are super cool, and Theo's not a present he's a little boy.

Buck is playing with his machine when Theo turns his attention to Eddie who is holding the kiss balm in his hands and looking a little confused, "You thought I wanted cotton candy lip balm?"

Theo shakes his head, "Kiss balm."

"Kiss balm?"

Theo nods, "So you can kiss Buck."

The bickering in the room quiets and all eyes turn to Theo. Buck's face goes all red like a firetruck, maybe he has a fever like in Doc McStuffins. Theo reaches out to touch his forehead. It's kind of icky and sweaty, but not super hot.

Buck has a really weird face, and Eddie is being quiet while everyone looks at him. Theo feels himself start to get embarrassed and the tears well quickly in his eyes. That makes Buck's face stop being so weird, "Theo, why don't you and I go set up the slushee machine?"

Theo scrunches his nose, "Eddie needs to use his present."

Buck is already standing, "Now please, Theo."

Theo follows behind him, if only to figure out why everyone is acting so weird—and to get a slushee, that's still really important. Buck's face has not stopped being red even though they're in the kitchen away from all of the people.

"Are you mad?" Theo asks, suddenly realizing that this may be a possibility. Buck doesn't really get mad at Theo, but lots of other people do. He knows how to recognize the signs.

Buck's face gets all soft and cozy again, "No, baby. Not mad, I feel a little embarrassed."

"Because the slushee machine is frivalicious?" Theo does his best to say it like how Ravi taught him.

"Frivolous."

"Yeah that. It's okay because Ravi has lots of pringle can money," Theo explains.

Buck blinks hard and then shakes his head, "Not the slushee machine. I really appreciate that gift." To prove it Buck plugs it in and starts pushing buttons.

"Because Eddie didn't kiss you yet?" Theo asks, "Once he puts on the kiss balm he will. It makes your lips super duper soft."

Buck sighs, not his good I'm giving you ice cream sigh, but his sad sigh, "I don't think Eddie wants to kiss me, honey."

Well that's just silly. Eddie loves Buck of course he wants to kiss him. They love each other just like Mommy and Daddy do. Chris even said so, and Chris is the smartest person on earth other than Theo and the Little Einsteins.

"My Eddie wants to kiss you," Theo argues.

"No, buddy."

"Uh-huh."

Buck shakes his head, "Nuh-uh."

"UH-HUH," Theo shouts. When you're louder you're more likely to get people to agree with you.

Buck's louder this time too, "Nuh-uh."

Before Theo can respond another voice speaks, "Why don't we just ask Eddie?"

Theo's head whips around to see Eddie leaning against the wall, "Eddie! Kiss Buck."

Eddie smiles, "Slow down there tiger. Remember what the rule is with other people's bodies?"

"We ask permission," Theo sighs. Silly rule—just kiss!

"Right," Eddie nods. Then he does what Theo's been waiting for all day. He puts the kiss balm on his lips. He also removes the fake mustache, which is good because it's tickly and not good for kissing.

Buck freezes.

"Buck, can I kiss you?" Eddie asks. Theo squeals.

Buck blinks a lot, Theo holds in his giggles because this is important. "Did you just reinforce teaching Theo consent by asking to kiss me?"

"Not my first rodeo," Eddie shrugs, "Kisses can be educational," That's true, Theo assumes. He's not quite sure what educational means, but Eddie is always right.

"Just educational?" Buck asks.

"Nah, romantic too," Eddie does his funny half smile.

Buck squints at him,"Define romantic."

"Raising two kids with you, being in love with you so long I don't know how not to, sharing a birthday party for the rest of our lives. That sort of romantic," Eddie takes a step closer to Buck. Theo has to bite on his hard so he doesn't start squealing.

"Eddie—" Buck breathes out.

"Come on Buck I'm already wearing the lip balm."

"Kiss balm," Theo corrects.

Eddie nods, "Kiss balm."

"Well it's in the name," and then finally, finally, they're kissing.

Theo cheers, and huh it's kind of yucky actually. He leaves, moving into back into the living room. As he enters everyone turns to look at him. Theo smiles and announces to the room, "They're kissing! It's yucky, but my Eddie wants to so it's okay."

Cheers and laughter break out around the room and before Theo knows it Ravi is lifting him into his arms in excitement, "You are a lifesaver Baby Buckling."

Theo nods, "I know!"

Theo enjoys the good mood of the room for a while, playing with Ravi and Harry until Buck and Eddie finally come out of the kitchen. Eddie's hair is all fluffy and Buck's still red, but he looks much happier now. They're holding hands, which is funny because they're not even crossing the street or in a parking lot.

Ravi moves to stand with them and pats Buck on the shoulder, "Congrats man. Oh, and I guess you're welcome."

Theo watches as Buck's eye change to look like a cartoon villain, "Thanks Ravi. You know Eddie and I were thinking," he pauses grinning wildly, "Since you proved that you're so good with Theo. Why don't you babysit him tonight? Chris is staying at the Wilson's so it would be nice to have the house alone."

"Especially since you were such an important part of us getting together," Eddie continues, "It is our birthdays after all."

Ravi gulps, "Yeah, I can do that."

Buck smiles, "Theo did you hear that? You're going to have a sleepover with Ravi."

Theo cheers. Eddie smiles even wider, "But before you go. I think you need more cake, maybe even two pieces."

Theo starts to wiggle in excitement. "Oh, and of course a slushee from the slushee machine. Plenty of sugar before you hit the road."

Ravi looks around frantically before flopping on the couch in sadness. Theo ignores him at the prospect of cake and slushees. Eddie uses his super soft lips to kiss Buck's cheek while Ravi whines on the couch. Theo smiles, he is the best gift giver ever.