Work Text:
Kris sat with their head down on the picnic table, eyes tracing the same smooth surface of the painted wood. They sat there, trying not to look up towards the lake where Susie and Noelle were.
When Susie said she would take Noelle to the festival the day before, they knew it was only a matter of time before the two would confess their feelings for each other. They weren't stupid they had eyes, they'd seen the way the girls looked at each other with red cheeks and adoring eyes, they'd heard the conversations had while they fought the Soul in the closet. It was only a matter of time before Susie finally had the courage to tell Noelle how she felt.
They wanted to be happy for them, they wanted that more than anything. But despite their best efforts, Kris couldn't bring themself to. This was Susie and Noelle. An old friend they longed to get close to again and their best friend in the entire world. If anyone deserved to be happy, it was them.
'So why can't I just be happy?'
Susie's laugh washed over them and they felt themself get sick from it. Against their better judgment, Kris took a peak at the pair through their bangs. Susie was standing in the lake, her jeans filled with holes halfway submerged with lake water, laughing at Noelle in her arms as she carried her like a princess. They stared at each other with adoring eyes, the picture perfect pair finally getting their fairytale ending.
Immediately they tore their eyes away, tears springing from their eyes as heard the pair's blossoming relationship finally unfold. They felt guilty that they were sitting there, stewing in their regret as their thoughts spiraled out of control. Each dark thought catching on one statement.
"Today has been… probably one of the best days ever."
Susie had said it with that bashful tone Kris loved so much. A side of Susie Kris had once hoped was only for them. Maybe selfishly to some extent, they wished it could've been. Maybe they wanted to be the one who was being picked up and carried out into the water, sharing everything with her from the Roaring to the Knight's plans and the Soul that had laid in their chest.
A thought caught at the eye of the spiral, one that couldn't just disappear no matter how hard they tried to banish it to the pile of dark thoughts that hurt them to think about.
'Just rip the Soul out and join them.'
It was tempting, too tempting. So tempting the weight of the knife in their pocket began to steadily increase. It'd be only for a couple minutes, not like the night before where they'd been without it for almost all night.
But they knew they couldn't. Because they'd been absorbed in each other's worlds, leaving Kris on the outside. A third wheel that could do nothing but watch as the girl they liked and the best friend who'd slip away from them fell further into love on the beach that they sat at first.
So Kris kept pretending to be asleep, the Soul assuming nothing and the girls kept going on with their date. Jealousy clawing at their throat and something colder holder their chest in a vice grip. In all the numerous times the Soul had led them to their death, most in severely painful ways, this was somehow worse.
'Why can't I just be happy?'