Chapter Text
⊹₊⟡⋆ ──── ❝ 𝘓𝘦𝘰 ❞ ────⊹₊⟡⋆
Lee Leo had paced these sterile hospital hallways fifty times at the very least for the past four hours, unable to sit still or wash away the crimson coating on his hands and white shirt since they took him away inside that room at the end of the hallway.
The nurses had brought him wet towels, kindly offered him space to wipe away the deep, angry red covering his pale hands and settling deep on his shirt, but he refused without a second thought.
Not even turning to look in any other direction than the heavy frosted doors at the end of the hallway, with a bright “In Use” light gleaming above the door.
The light gleamed bright as if it mocked him, as if it tested his patience every second he kept waiting in this barren hallways.
Every minute had felt like an hour; he glared at the clock like it personally owed him. He had seen nurses scurry in and out of that ICU with bags of blood and other medical materials.
He tried to approach them to know what was happening, something, anything would do, but no one was willing to tell him anything!
These people keep telling him to calm down and be patient, but how could he? As if patience would bring back the love of his life, who resided behind those doors.
His Sangwon, his beautiful Sangwon, resided inside that ICU, going through a life-altering operation, and they expect him just to be patient? Or worse, leave this gloomy hallway to change.
How could he afford to wash away the now faint and mostly dried crimson residing on his fingers when this blood belonged to the very person fighting for his life inside that ICU?
Every time his eyes fall upon his trembling fingers, his mind goes back to the very moment his lover lost consciousness in his arms, in that dimly lit parking lot.
Sangwon’s last words before blacking out played in Leo’s mind like a broken record, that broken, muttered I love you haunts Leo with a fear he could feel settling deep in his bones.
Was that the last time Sangwon would have uttered those words to him?
Where Sangwon was unable to hear Leo say it back to him?
No
My Awon would not leave me alone in this cruel world, would he?
After all that time we spent together in the past five years.
We were going to go to Japan next month for your birthday.
Come back to me, my love.
I wasn’t even able to tell you what I truly wanted to tell you today—
A new wave of disconsolation dawns upon him as he recalls what he truly wanted to tell Sangwon today. The sterile white tiles start to look blurry as he feels a fresh wave of moisture forming in his already spent eyes, threatening to fall back.
He angrily scrunched his sleeves, sweat dampening his eyes, trying to wipe away the broken tide of tears.
My Sangwon wouldn’t like for me to break down, would he? thought Leo as he kept his head down, avoiding the pitying eyes of onlookers around him.
I don't need pity; I only need the love of my life back to me, healthy, safe and sound right in my arms again. His fists clenched, desperately trying to keep it together, stubbornly.
He never knew he had it in him to shed this many tears, believing he was a mentally strong person who could not remember the last time he teared up, even while watching a sad movie; it was always Leo who held the tissues for his love, who teared up easily when watching sad films.
He used to find it really endearing how his lover always harboured such compassion for mere characters in a film as well as real people and animals.
And yet, now just the reminiscence of that memory is making Leo weak in his knees and unable to stand straight; he stumbles a step and rests himself on the cold hospital chairs.
More time passes, and Leo feels every second chipping away at the last remnants of his sanity.
He had somehow gathered himself enough and had managed to phone Sangwon’s sister, who lived in another province, and must be rushing herself to get here as soon as she could.
As Leo was about to stand up again, because sitting down started feeling utterly uncomfortable as well, the lights above the ICU room finally dimmed, and the doctor stepped out.
Leo took long strides towards the doctor and pretty much ambushed him for updates.
“Doctor, is he… Is he okay?” He asked with a slight tremor in his voice, but his eyes carried a hopeful glint in them.
“As we informed you before, he has suffered a severe traumatic brain injury from a blunt force impact. He has a subdural hematoma, which means bleeding between the brain and its outer covering, which is putting pressure on the brain. We needed to relieve that pressure immediately. We performed an emergency craniotomy surgery on him.” The middle-aged doctor explained with a practised neutral face while pushing his glasses back.
But he hasn’t answered the most important part: how is my Awon? That is the only thing that truly mattered here.
The doctor, as if sensing Leo's thoughts, started speaking again. “Fortunately, the surgery was a success. His condition is serious but stable enough. For the next 24–48 hours, we will keep him under observation.”
It was as if the doctor's words poured life itself inside Leo as he finally exhaled a breath of relief he didn’t even know he was holding for so long.
He placed a hand to his chest, finally feeling his frantic heart calm down.
He looked up to the doctor with glistening eyes. “Thank you so much for bringing him back, doctor,” he said, with all the gratitude he had in him.
“Do not thank me, it is merely my job,” Though his lips curled up a bit, accepting Leo’s gratitude.
“Can I see him right now?” After knowing his lover was okay, Leo just had to go see him; it was getting physically impossible to stay put without rushing to his boyfriend right this second.
“Since you are the lone family of Lee Sangwon present here, you are allowed visitation inside the cabin, but I shall mention that after he gains consciousness, which could take a while, it could be that he is not fully cognitively oriented yet. It is generally expected after a brain surgery. However, do not panic for his sake.” The doctor explains with calm eyes, holding a sense of caution in them.
Not fully cognitively oriented?
What exactly does that entail?
Well, for now, all that mattered was that his precious was alive and out of danger. He gave a quick nod to the doctor and took long strides towards the end of the hallway.
As he stood outside the cabin and was about to push the sliding doors, he closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath, preparing himself to see his lover.
With trembling hands, he twisted the doorknob and stepped inside.
The room was bathed in the soft glow of sunrise, light seeping through the half-closed window blinds, hinting at a new day, a ray of hope perhaps.
As warm as the room looked, it still carried that faint scent of disinfectant lingering throughout in stark contrast.
And there in the centre of the room lay Sangwon motionless in a single bed.
Leo’s heart clenched as his eyes ran over his precious, thick layers of white bandage wrapped around Sangwon's head under his beautiful dark hair.
As Leo walked closer and closer to his lover, he was able to map out more faint bruises across his cheekbones and neckline, reminding Leo of the sheer pain his lover had to go through because of him.
It’s all because of me
I’m sorry I was so unworthy of you, Sangwon.
I should have protected you better
I shouldn’t have gone to pick up that call—
His eyes find their way to the IV line connected to Sangwon's hand, the needle hidden under the long hospital gown sleeves. Leo’s eyes pressed shut.
He hated the idea of needles, always held on to my arms tightly as I accompanied him to get vaccine shots.
I wasn’t able to let him hold me through this intense operation..
You went through this alone. You are the strongest person I know baby.
Open your eyes soon, so I can tell you just how strong a fighter you are, how I would kiss every scar adorning your beautiful face so you never feel bad about any marks.
Leo’s knees started to tremble as guilt, regret, and sadness overtook him. He reached for the bedside chair and lowered himself on it.
The cardiac monitor beside the bed ran a steady rhythm.. Beep… Beep..
Each sound echoed tenfold louder in Leo’s heart.
The soft glow of dawn seeping inside the room got brighter; the world was waking up.
He could hear birds chirping and nurses pacing around outside the cabin; the outside world was steady on its routine, but time for him seemed to have stopped, orbiting around the unconscious person lying on that very bed.
Leo hesitated for a brief second before carefully taking his lover's limp hands in his, as if he were holding the most fragile entity in the universe. Perhaps to him it wasn’t any less than that.
His hands are warm
Registered Leo as he lowered his head towards Sangwon’s hand and placed a soft kiss on it, to let his precious know that he was here.
You never have to fight alone as long as your Leo breathes, I promise you, with all I have.
Vowed Leo as he kept his head lowered on Sangwon’s hand and felt his eyes give out as his energy finally gave out.
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“You should really eat something, Leo. You are overexerting yourself,” sighed Hana, Sangwon’s sister, who came the next morning of the operation.
She broke down in tears seeing her baby brother, who carried stars in his eyes laying lifeless in that hospital bed.
Leo was the only one who could share her grief with her, as he knew exactly how she felt.
Hana has always been someone supportive of their relationship, focusing only on her brother’s happiness, because they truly only had each other at this point.
It was the same for Leo, too. Sangwon had become the most important person in his life as they faced every hardship, every joyful moment and more together.
Leo had not left Sangwon’s side in the past three days unless necessary. He hasn’t eaten or slept much, just sat by his lover’s side as if looking away even for a second would mean his precious would disappear.
His manager kept calling him, but he could not care less about the absolute chaos happening in the outside world.
His sole attention is on his Sangwon, who still hasn’t shown any signs of waking up.
Sensing that Leo perhaps hadn’t heard her earlier, Hana places her hand on Leo’s shoulder to redirect his focus.
“You are going to end up in a hospital bed right beside him at this rate, Leo”, muttered Hana softly, she coudnt let Leo get sick as well. He, too, had become a younger brother to her, just like Sangwon, so she couldn't help but get worried.
“I can’t leave his side, Noona, He needs me.” His hands were still holding Sangwon’s gently.
“Fine, have it your way, but I’m going downstairs to get some food for you, and you will have it, or else I’m gonna tell Sangwon to burn your studio when he wakes up”, Hana announced with finality and took strides out of the hospital cabin.
You and I both know Sangwon cherishes my studio as much as I do; it’s equally his as it is mine, thought Leo with a faint smile.
Just then, he felt a twitch in the hand that was holding Sangwons. His eyes jolted upwards to see Sangwon's eyelids scrunching as if trying to open themselves.
Leo felt his whole body alert as his entire focus zeroed on Sangwon. His eyes darting towards the heart rate monitor, Sangwon’s heart rate was picking back up, his fingers twitching.
He’s waking up
The whole room is in quiet anticipation as Leo picks up Sangwon's breathing patterns changing.
Sangwon’s eyes flutter once.
Then close.
Moments later.
They flutter again.
This time more vehemently
Finally opening.
The bright rays of sunshine seeping in through the blinds make him squint; Leo senses it immediately.
He positions himself so the gleaming rays don’t reach Sangwon.
Sangwon’s vision finally relaxes as his eyes wander through the hospital room, assessing his environment.
All Leo could do was stare intently, trying with everything in him to keep himself calm for Sangwon’s sake, letting Sangwon adjust at his own pace.
Then suddenly, as if god heard him, he felt those lifeless hands he had been holding for the past three days gripping his own.
His shoulders shook as he tried to stop the sob caught in his throat.
He’s finally gripping back.
His heart clenched as Sangwon gripped his hands and tried to sit up.
Without a thought, Leo held Sangwon’s shoulders and helped him sit up as gently as he could, eagerly waiting for his lover to say something.
His wish would be answered soon enough as Sangwon finally spoke.
“Why am I here?” Sangwon winced, trying to make himself sit upright, his hands reaching up to the ache in his head, feeling the band-aids there.
His gaze, looking more alarmed by the second, wandered around the room and finally fell upon Leo.
“Awonie..”
Was the only word Leo could muster as his entire body washed over with relief.
Leo’s trembling hands, which were wrapped around Sangwon's, gave them a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
“How are you feeling right now?” Asked Leo before reaching forward to pull Sangwon in an embrace.
But to his absolute horror.
Sangwon instinctively leaned back on the bed.
“Leo.. Sunbae?” questioned Sangwon raspily.
His entire face grew confused as his eyebrows knitted together, studying Leo.
“What are you doing here, Sunbae?”