Chapter Text
The walls of Eunjang high school are quiet nowadays. With the Union disappearing after the fight, there was no one to hunt down the students in the dark alleys. Peaceful times are here, causing unexpected friendships to bloom and even more unexpected people to step up and change their ways.
Sieun isn't alone, he never is and he realized this a long time ago. He feels content with how he doesn't have to get in fights anymore. That he and his friends don't have to get hurt every other day.
"Not gonna play?" a voice calls out. What are you doing here?" Baku asks the pokerfaced boy who sits at the bleachers.
Sieun looks up as the taller boy gets comfortable, but doesn't give any clear answer.
"Thinking" he says eventually, watching the basketball court where Gotak and Juntae are fooling around.
Humin takes the hint, falling quiet for a rare moment.
"Do you ever smile, Sieun?"
"Once" Sieun replies after at least ten seconds of silence. "Once I know I did"
Suho.
Peace really doesn't matter when Suho is not awake yet, because something in Sieun is not at peace until his friend is alright.
He doesn't elaborate further, standing up and getting his backpack.
"Off already?" Baku asks, his tone somewhat more careful than usual. Sieun just nods, glancing over at Juntae and Gotak before taking the first few steps. "You know" Baku calls out "I really hope we will be able to meet him for real"
The smaller boy stops in his tracks for a moment but doesn't turn around. He holds back a sigh before nodding his head and leaving. He takes the usual shortcut without any suspicious shadow following him around or threatening to attack, and he heads home. Not exactly back to his mother's apartment, but rather to the hospital.
He should be studying in cram school after having missed out on the opportunity to study abroad, but he really couldn't care less. Studying was never hard, but waiting... Now waiting is the equivalent to agony, because he can only hope that the time will come.
He fills out the form at the hospital, giving every date that's needed for them to let him in, before heading to Suho's room. He stops outside and sits down, watching the wall for a few minutes, gathering strength to finally enter.
Sieun still enters the room with his eyes directed towards the floor, hoping that a voice will call out so he can snap his gaze. But no, Suho is still asleep. No miracle has happened, Sieun states to himself as he approaches the bed, sitting down at the chair that no nurse has moved since he last visited.
He was never good with words, so he always writes when he is here, keeping Suho updated in a way that most would consider a journal or diary, but Sieun isn't going to label it as anything. It helps, and that's what matters, not what you label it as.
Recently, he started doing hand written letters instead of typing on his phone, because he realized that he would need more time to finish that way. So now, he takes out one of his notebooks and starts to write with nothing in mind at first. Maybe that's why he thinks it's the best to document things for Suho, because if he had to speak, he is not sure he would be able to express himself. He was never good with words.
Soon, the door opens, making Sieun tense on instinct, suddenly pulled back from the depths of his mind.
"Sieun?" Suho's grandmother calls out quietly, smiling kindly at the boy.
"Good evening" he says quietly, bowing his head slightly before closing the notebook and looking at Suho.
"I heard from the nurses you visit him a lot" the old woman says as she sits down, watching both of them. Sieun doesn't exactly respond, just swallows softly, hoping it doesn't look as unnatural as it feels. "Reminds me just how much you got along" she continued, packing something out of her bag which Sieun didn't pay attention to.
He is ready to leave, standing up when she stand up as well, smiling softly.
"I thought I would bring it to him since he used it so much, but" she starts, revealing the pink arm pillow in her hands. "I believe you will have an easier time using it"
Sieun looks down at the fluff item, something in the back of his mind ticking off. He takes it with a nod before leaving.
The outside air is refreshing in a way. His eyes are feeling too watery for his liking so he just looks down at the pillow before heading home. Back there, nothing really changed when he gets back. His mother confronts him, just like she always does before finally letting Sieun catch a break. He had plans to study when he gets back, but 10 minutes in he really doesn't feel like it's a good idea, since he keeps messing up easy questions.
Sleeping feels like a no go, but Sieun still lays down, watching the ceiling for a long moment before turning his head to the side, looking at the fluffy pink pillow he has placed on his desk. He doesn't have his hopes up, that it would help, but somehow clinging onto this remnant of Suho doesn't feel like a bad idea either. So he gets up, taking the soft item into his hands before lying down one again. Since tears didn't get him earlier, they get him now. Small droplets darkening the pillow sheet under his head.
Another day closed without Suho waking up.