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Ilya had never liked thunderstorms, they reminded him of his father‘s anger. Both could come out of nowhere or be brewing for days with no way of knowing when they would finally unload. They were both loud, disruptive and unavoidable. His mother used to come to his room and climbed into bed with him when there was a thunderstorm. She held him all night, carding her fingers through his hair and whispering stories into his ear. His father always got so mad when he found out. It never stopped his mother from doing it during the next thunderstorm.
Thunderstorms didn't bother Ilya as much anymore, obviously. Maybe the distance to his father‘s anger helped. But they still made him uneasy and they always made him miss his mother. Over the years he had gotten used to going through the uneasiness alone.
When he was woken up one night at the cottage by rain whipping against the windows, lightning turning the sky into uncomfortable shades of purple and orange and thunder echoing over the lake, Ilya turned away from Shane so his trembling hands and sped up heart beat wouldn‘t disturb Shane's sleep. Usually he loved it when they left the shades open and got to see the sun rise over the lake, but now he regretted not closing them. He had no idea where the remote was, so there was no escape. He just laid there, hoping he could fall back asleep or for the storm to be over soon.
Just when he had managed to almost down a little, the loudest crack of thunder yet startled a gasp out of him. Ilya didn‘t know if it had been the thunder or his gasp, but Shane stirred next to him.
“Ilya? Where did you go?“
“Shh, go back to sleep.“ Ilya tried his best to keep his voice calm and even. “Storm woke me up, it‘s fine.“
Shane rolled over to him with a frown and reached for him. “You‘re shaking. Did you have a nightmare?“
Ilya couldn’t help but melt into Shane‘s touch. “No. I just-“ Fuck, this was ridiculous. Grown adults didn't get scared by normal weather. “I don‘t like thunderstorms.“
Shane sat up and reached for the remote on his nightstand. As soon as the shades started going down, he laid back down and pulled Ilya into his arms.
“I had no idea, I’m sorry. Why didn‘t you wake me?“
Ilya just shrugged and hid his face against Shane‘s chest. This was even more embarrassing than the time he had to ask Shane to get rid of the massive spider in the shower.
“I didn‘t want to bother you. It‘s stupid anyway.“
Shane pressed a kiss into Ilya’s hair and started running his fingers through it in a way that reminded Ilya so much of his mother that he needed to blink away tears.
“It‘s not stupid. My mom doesn't like thunderstorms either. Whenever there was a really bad one and my dad wasn‘t home she would come to my room and hold me really tight. I always loved that, it made me feel all grown up and helpful. Dad would sometimes hug me when he got back and thank me for being there for mom when he couldn‘t.“
“Mama used to hold me during thunderstorms too. My father always got so mad.“ Ilya hated how small his voice sounded, but Shane only held him closer.
“I‘m here, okay? And you can always wake me up.“
Ilya stretched up to kiss Shane, ignoring the salty taste of tears on his own lips. Shane kissed him back and mumbled “YA tebya lyublyu“ in his terrible accent, but to Ilya there could have been no better sound in the world. He repeated the words back to Shane and kissed him again.
Safely in Shane‘s arms the thunderstorm didn’t feel so frightening anymore and he fell asleep quickly with Shane‘s heartbeat underneath him and Shane's fingers in his hair.