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Daily life at the Agency is still pretty normal even through all the gender stuff, which is to say it’s a madhouse as always. People don’t stop needing cases solved, and international criminals don’t behave themselves just because Atsushi is transitioning.
In fact, her being openly a girl doesn’t seem to have much of an impact in the office as well, except for Dazai now including her in his lover’s suicide ramblings. Though at one point, the President calls her into the office and, amidst her panicked thoughts of being fired and thrown out of the dorms, he congratulates her.
His voice is deep and brusque as usual, with no change in his expression. But there’s a glimmer of a smile in his eyes that makes her swell with affection. She briefly wonders if this is what a daughter would experience with her father. A proper doting father, not— and she shoves thoughts of the Headmaster firmly in the corner of her mind. Those can wait for her night terrors.
Ranpo chides her for being worried when she returns. (“Why would the Boss be mad with you if he accepted me being X-gender just fine? Quit worrying and let me do the thinking!”)
She and Kunikida continue to grow closer as they slowly navigate transitioning. Kunikida confides to Atsushi during their daily after-work check-in at Uzumaki that she’s started hormone therapy soon after her revelation, as part of her path to an Ideal Woman.
Atsushi has been on the fence herself about treatment, whether she's ready to be officially "out" yet. Yosano is nothing short of encouraging — being the one to oversee Kunikida’s and has taken over for Kyouka’s in place of Kouyou and the Port Mafia doctors — yet patient all the same.
It turns out that her waffling is for nothing. A hormone test during her regular medical check-up reveals that her estrogen levels are already elevated and her testosterone lowered, at rates equivalent to roughly three months of therapy.
Before Yosano can even attempt to explain what could be causing this, Atsushi blurts out Tiger! and groans when she gets a confirmation from her Ability somewhere in her soul.
Which means the Tiger has already been preparing her body the moment she started with the Agency and actually got some proper food in her. How Atsushi didn’t realize this sooner is… disconcerting. But considering how non-existent sex-ed was in the Orphanage, she tries (and fails) to give herself some grace.
Kunikida also starts wearing her new suits to the office, with the skirt for paperwork only days, and the pantsuit for fieldwork. Coupled with her hair pulled back into a smart bun, the faint traces of makeup, and even the scent of perfume instead of cologne, this predictably leads to proclamations of double suicide from Dazai, complete with dramatic kneeling and an even more daring kiss to Kunikida’s hand. Everyone waits for the expected violence to follow, but all that happens is a half-hearted insult and her returning to her paperwork with a bright red face.
Atsushi never grows tired of seeing her dressed in this new way. Though she’s learned not to let it distract her from her own work, following a stern lecture from Kunikida after being caught spacing out for fifteen minutes.
“You should ask her out.”
Atsushi’s head snaps to Kyouka, who’s sitting on her futon at their shared dorm and brushing her hair. Her long, silky, dark, beautiful hair that Atsushi wishes so bad that she could have. “What do you mean?”
Kyouka pauses, readjusting her sleep yukata before answering. “Kunikida-san. You like her. I noticed you both have gotten much closer now.”
Atsushi turns back to her cute casual outfit and white choker, carefully laid out on the floor before her closet. She’s been doing this for the past week, trying and failing to work up the nerve to finally wear it.
She recalls the one time she saw Kunikida wearing her own casual outfit, and how it stole her breath. She looked away in a rush and managed to stammer out a compliment, her face on fire the entire time. And when it came to putting on her own chosen clothes, she could barely look at herself, let alone step out of the changing room for Kunikida to see.
She wants to wear her feminine clothes with Kunikida, and for Kunikida to wear her own outfit. And for them to go out as two women together. For them to share that precious time with each other, and each other alone.
Which means…
“I…might have to ask Kunikida-san out. But, not as a date or anything!” She quickly adds, willing Kyouka to understand with eye contact alone. “I would be crossing a very personal boundary, and it wouldn’t be right to put that on her. And um…I’m not even sure she’ll accept or that she likes me that much, so I could be overthinking things again.”
Kyouka inches closer, then holds Atsushi’s hand in both of hers. “Kunikida-san likes you plenty. We can all see how she lights up when you come into the office, how much she looks forward to our weekend outings, or your daily check-ins.”
The fact that they have daily check-ins with each other goes unsaid, as Kunikida takes care to pencil it in her schedule each day.
Atsushi sighs, rubs her sweaty hands on her junbei (which she’s not changing any time soon, it’s cheap and comfortable), and swallows before nodding. “Okay. I’ll, I’ll ask her then, for this weekend.” Which is three days from now. She’ll have until Friday at 9 am to work up the nerve. As that’s when Kunikida finalizes her weekend schedule with no room for changes barring an emergency (or Dazai throwing himself into a river again).
“Ask it as a date.”
Oh…oh boy. “A-alright. As a…as a date.” The word dances from her lips and it’s light. Much lighter than she thought. She does want a date. That’s what her heart is telling her.
She can do this.
On Thursday evening, after finally wrapping up a two-day case with Tanizaki and Naomi, Atsushi waits for Kunikida to finish her paperwork, and together they lock up the office. They perform the check-in on the walk back to the dorm (both too exhausted to stop by Uzumaki’s), with Kunikida logging every answer in her Ideals.
As they arrive at the dorms, Atsushi stops, letting Kunikida walk along a few steps before she notices and turns back.
“Lass?”
Atsushi inhales, then exhales, clasping her hands together. Thinking of Kyouka gives her the strength and encouragement to do this. “Kunikida-san? I… well, I wanted to ask you something. This weekend, are you free?”
Kunikida, as always, consults her Ideals. “On Saturday, I’ll be preoccupied with an important meeting with the District Attorney that cannot be rescheduled. However, my Sunday is free.” She closes the book and adjusts her glasses.
Sunday? Perfect! “That’s…that’s good to hear. So,” Atsushi squeezes her eyes shut and bows deeply. “Will you please go out with me! My-my treat of course!”
There’s silence. A stretch of silence. A disconcerting amount of silence. But she doesn’t dare lift her head until she receives an answer. Mainly because she’s terrified of glancing up to see a look of disgust or anger on Kunikida’s face.
“Lass. Look at me.”
Atsushi straightens her back.
Kunikida is wearing her usual stern expression, but there’s nothing else showing on her face. “Give me,” she checks her watch, “five minutes and 15 seconds.” She turns on her heel and heads for…not her dorm but Kenji’s for some reason.
Kenji answers her sharp knocks with a smile and a wave, and lets her in after a moment.
The wait is excruciating, and Atsushi resists pacing around and mumbling to herself. She needs to be fully aware of this, for better or worse.
Kunikida emerges and takes advantage of her long strides to walk down the stairs and close the distance between them in record time. She’s clutching a brown pot under her arm, with green and red sticking out from it.
A plant?
“I actually planned on asking you out tomorrow at 4:30 pm sharp, though you clearly beat me to it. This is for you.” Kunikida hands over the potted plant, and Atsushi takes it with shaking hands.
“According to Kenji, it’s called a Zanthoxylum piperitum, but also known as a Japanese pepper. It’s used to make the spice sansho, and since I know that you cook every night along with Kyouka between 6 and 6:30 pm, I felt it would be more practical than flowers.”
Atsushi looks down at the plant as Kunikida explains her reasoning, then back to her slightly reddened cheeks. So thoughtful and sweet. She listened to her and gave her a lovely gift, just like how she noticed Atsushi’s attention on the chokers and bought them for her.
Atsushi gently places the potted plant down, then lunges and gives Kunikida a tight hug. “Thank you so much, this is such a wonderful gift.”
Kunikida stiffens, but quickly relaxes before Atsushi can think to jump back, and returns the hug, hunching slightly so it isn’t as awkward.
They stay embracing in front of the dorm until a wolf whistle pierces the moment, and they separate, flustered. Yosano is leaning out her window, a grin stretching her face. “Don’t stop on my account.”
This is when Atsushi notices that nearly everyone is watching from their doors and open windows. Tanizaki at least has the grace to look embarrassed, though Naomi doesn’t in the slightest. Kenji wishes both of them good luck, and Kyouka gives them a thumbs up. Ranpo yells to Dazai about owing them money, and Dazai pretends he doesn’t hear.
Atsushi’s nerves are fried when the day finally rolls by, both by the date itself and by resembling a woman and not a sentient potato sack (as Akutagawa called her before). But Kyouka does wonders to calm her.
She helps her get dressed, a pink-and-white fitted spaghetti top with light blue flare jeans. A pair of white sandals is waiting for her by the genkan, next to the windowsill with the pepper plant Kunikida gave her. Her white choker completes the look.
Lucy even dragged her to a salon the day before to “finally get that shitty haircut fixed,” leaving her with a short bob, much more even bangs, and the long striped side bang much neater but still intact.
Kyouka even convinces and shows her how to apply basic makeup: a bit of foundation, eyeliner, and lip gloss. When she looks in the mirror, she can hardly recognize herself. Instead of a gangly, weird-looking kid, a pretty young woman stares back at her, eyes wide. Her clothes fit her well, and the choker and makeup soften her features. The eyeliner makes her eyes pop even more, and her haircut looks cute and well-groomed.
“Kyouka-chan…I…I finally look pretty.” Tears well up in her eyes and she sniffs them back, not wanting to smudge her makeup.
“You always looked pretty, Ane-san. But I’m glad you feel pretty too.”
Atsushi leaves, Kyouka giving her one last quick hug for luck, and waits in front of the dorm five minutes from 10 am, the agreed-upon time to meet.
Kunikida emerges from her own dorm exactly on time and makes her way down, strides smooth and regal as always.
Atsushi’s breath is stolen again, seeing just how stunning Kunikida looks in casual wear. Her white, sleeveless turtleneck with thin black pinstripes, black cropped pants, and strappy black heels all seem like they were crafted just for her. She’s also wearing makeup, with a daring red lipstick and lavender eye shadow that makes her green eyes pop even more.
If Atsushi looks merely pretty, then Kunikida is drop-dead gorgeous. “You look amazing, Kunikida-san.”
Kunikida is quiet, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Then she jolts and clears her throat, pushing her eyeglasses up. “Thank you. You look quite lovely yourself, Atsushi.”
It takes all of Atsushi’s effort not to faint on the spot. Kunikida was stunned by her appearance. In a good way. Kunikida thinks she looks lovely.
“It seems that my advice on fitted clothes helped. And I assume Kyouka has been giving you makeup lessons as well?”
She’s snapped out of her thoughts and nods. “Oh yeah, she honestly helped me so much. And Montgomery-chan was the one who helped with my haircut.” Though she'll reserve the makeup for special occasions, it's way too fussy to deal with daily.
“Time well spent.” She checks her watch and clicks her tongue. “We should get going; the train will arrive in ten minutes, and the walk takes five and 30 seconds.”
Atsushi decided on the Motomachi Shopping Street for their date after Kyouka suggested it, so they could walk around the streets, pedestrianized just for the weekend. The prices for most of the specialty goods are a bit high, so they’re content to window shop through all the “Hama Tra” brand shops, including Fukuzo and Star Jewelry, as well as the Western-style stores.
There are two places Atsushi set aside money for. One is the Takahashi-Shoten bookstore, which she’s sure Kunikida will appreciate, as she’s a fellow bookworm. They end up spending over two hours roaming around the hundreds of books packed into shelves, reading and sharing their picks. Once Kunikida finalizes her choices for purchase, Atsushi uses her reflexes to swipe all three books from her hands and add them to her lone one.
“Lass, I can buy them just fine!”
“Remember? I told you this date would be my treat.” She smiles and purchases everything, enjoying flustering Kunikida with the simple act of paying. “There’s one more place I’d like to go with you.”
That place is one of several cafes in Motomachi, called Café La Mille. It specializes in coffee, something that Atsushi knows Kunikida loves from listening to her passionate speeches. Atsushi’s not crazy about it herself, preferring tea or even just the canned café au lait from the vending machine outside their office building. But she’s willing to learn, as it’s something that Kunikida cares about and therefore makes her care about it too.
Atsushi learns even more about coffee during their visit: how to appreciate its fragrance, describing the subtle notes of each brew, and how to properly savor its taste (“Lass, putting that much sugar and milk will ruin the flavor!”). Thanks to her Tiger senses, she can truly pick up on the rich, earthy scent of her brew as she inhales and its spicy, nutty flavor when she takes a sip. The experience is really fun, and Atsushi finds herself cherishing coffee just a bit more. Not enough to drink it without milk and sugar, but still.
She covers the bill and sobs quietly in her mind over the prices, but makes sure she shows none of it on her face. It’s money well spent, and she refuses to regret it, no matter how cheap she is.
They pass by Belle Plage chocolatier on the way back to the train station, and Atsushi takes note. Though she’s saving that one for Kyouka and Lucy as thanks for their help.
She and Kunikida chat about the next date, and Atsushi mentally plans for MU café and Kinmeido. The latter specializes in watches, eyeglasses, and their cases. Kunikida mentioned in the office that she’s overdue for a brand-new pair, and this would be the perfect chance to scope out the perfect one to purchase later.
She’ll have to budget a bit more carefully after all this, but it’s well worth it.
After all, if I can’t make the people I care about happy, then what good is the money I’m earning for?
And to her delight, she's made Kunikida very happy.
***Bonus***
“Oh my gosh, Atsushi-san! You look so cute!” Naomi squeals and attaches herself to Atsushi’s arm the moment she walks into the festive office. It’s filled with tinsel, holly, and even a large Christmas tree decorated to the nines with gifts wrapped and stacked neatly at the bottom.
It’s Christmas Eve, and the Detective Agency is hosting its annual after-work party. Atsushi invited Lucy as well, with permission from the President, but she’s attending an outing with her own coworkers.
As such, Atsushi decided to pick out a winter outfit and, in a rare moment of daring, chose one from a fashion magazine that she fell in love with without letting herself back down.
It’s comprised of a shoulderless pink dress with a black trim on the hem, white trim down the sides and the sides of the arms, and a white frill that wraps around the top. It’s paired with black thigh-highs and short black boots, along with her white choker.
She blushes at the attention, shifting her gaze and hot face. “Naomi-san, thanks but I don’t look that—”
“Don’t even try it. You look great,” Yosano flicks her forehead and chuckles when she pouts. Then she looks down and gives an appraising look. “You’ve gotten a lot shapelier too, especially your ches—”
“Yosano-sensei, please.”
Haruno, Tanizaki, and Kenji join in, and Atsushi finds herself surrounded by a hell full of compliments. Ranpo goes out of their way to make eye contact with her before cackling and chowing down on their slice of cake. Bastard.
It’s Kyouka who ends up grabbing her hand and leading her away, towards the table packed with food. “Ane-san is always very pretty.”
Atsushi smiles. Kyouka’s opinion is still the one she treasures the most. “You look very pretty too.”
Kyouka is dressed in a simple, long, dark green dress with red frills on the hem. Her hair is tied with a red bow into a high braided ponytail, and she’s even wearing a red choker with a red bunny pendant to match Atsushi’s white one. She pulls it off effortlessly, even at her young age; her grace and beauty shine through. Some days Atsushi still wishes for a fraction of that. But it's gotten easier to accept her own unique looks too, that she can dress however she likes on most days, and she's still a woman regardless.
She forces her attention to the delicious-looking spread full of appetizers, the scents of meat and spices washing over her. She packs her plate with karaage, maki rolls, yakitori, gyoza, shrimp and sweet potato tempura, croquettes, and snags a ramakin filled with rich chawanmushi. She’ll come back for dessert; she’s not missing Tanizaki’s massive layered Christmas cake for anything.
Kyouka trails behind with much smaller portions, and they both end up chatting with Tanizaki. He was nice enough to lend Atsushi some of his hair clips for the party, and she makes sure to thank him. Though he’s a bit red in the face for some reason.
There’s a loud banging outside the door, followed by yells and whining. Then the President walks through, wearing his usual green kimono, though paired with a dark green mantle, and everyone smartens up.
He holds up a hand. “No need for that. No one is working right now, so please enjoy yourselves.” The President moves aside just as Kunikida barges in, dragging a smiling Dazai by his thick winter coat.
“This damned bandaged menace tried to jump in the river again! He’s lucky Ranpo-san tipped us off—”
“Ranpo-san’s a traitor—”
“Quiet! What was your inane reasoning this time?” She throttles Dazai by the coat’s collar, then drops him on the floor.
If the shaking and fall hurt, Dazai doesn’t let on. Instead, he sighs and spreads out on the floor. “Kunikida-kun, my beautiful work wife, has found true love with another beautiful woman. Neither would ever share a lover’s suicide with me, so what choice did I have but to succumb alone?” He sits up and lays a hand over his heart.
Kunikida is ready to blow a fuse by the time Dazai’s story is finished, her arms crossed, cheeks flushed, and green eyes blazing.
Her winter outfit is a black leather biker jacket, a white turtleneck underneath, fitted white dress slacks, and knee-high black heeled boots. Her hair has gotten longer, and she wears it out in loose curls today, matching her flawless makeup.
Even angry, she’s so pretty. If Kunikida keeps stealing her breath away like this, she’ll never have enough oxygen again. Though it sounds like a very pleasant problem to have.
The President interrupts and orders Dazai to behave himself for the rest of the evening, which he agrees to way too easily.
“After all, I would hardly want to ruin the lovebirds’ romantic time together.”
Then Yosano threatens to experiment on him, and he’s suddenly much less jovial.
Atsushi summons her daring again and grabs Kunikida by her free hand, pulling her towards the windows to settle there. “Why don’t we enjoy ourselves for a bit, Kunikida-san?”
She offers a croquette with chopsticks, and Kunikida takes a bite, savoring its flavor. That she feels comfortable enough to share food with her is an honor that Atsushi will treasure forever.
Kyouka long since dismisses herself, making her way to Haruno and Naomi instead. This leaves Atsushi and Kunikida to enjoy each other’s company as they eat, the latter’s stress leaving her shoulders and face.
“I’ve noticed the few feminine clothes you wear tend to be on the cute side, with pink as the main highlight. They suit you.”
She never gets used to being complimented on her looks, especially coming from Kunikida. “Thank you. And I love your outfits too. They’re always so elegant. And your hair has gotten so long and pretty.” Maybe she could brush it one day, like how she brushes Kyouka’s sometimes.
“You know, I’ve always liked your hair as well. Its length frames your face well. Your voice is pleasant, too.”
There’s definitely heat spreading through Atsushi’s cheeks. “Kunikida-san…”
“In fact, I’ve written a proper list of all of your attractive traits,” and she immediately pulls out her Ideals and starts reciting them.
“Kunikida-san!”
They continue on, wrapped up in their own world. Atsushi can hardly believe she’s dating (dating!) someone as incredible as Kunikida, and that Kunikida actually likes her back. That they’ve been able to go on this incredible journey together, supporting each other through the bad days and sharing the good ones.
That, sometimes, Atsushi can indulge in cute clothes and makeup, have her hair look neat again, and slowly gain a body that matches the one in her dreams.
She and Kunikida exchange gifts with the others (nearly everything is tiger and cat-themed, dammit) and then with each other last. Atsushi clutches a silver pocketwatch to her chest, a group picture of the Agency members in its frame. And Kunikida is proudly wearing the silver metal frames that Atsushi saved up for, after the former spent several minutes eyeing them during their second date.
The little girl crying in the Orphanage, wanting to be accepted, wanting to be loved, would be happy to see her now.