Work Text:
Connor stared at Evan's back helplessly. He was many things but a feelings person was not one of them, so sitting there he relayed the events that had led to his boyfriend curled up in bed crying.
Evan had been acting off all day, though no one had picked up on it except him. He was often left confused how no one noticed, but most people could not tell the difference between Evan being Evan and something actually being wrong. He didn't have to be good at feelings to know this guy had too many.
Evan hadn't texted him as much after school which usually he didn't notice, but this time he knew something was wrong. So when Evan had called crying and stuttering like a mess he wasn't surprised. He just drove over and let himself in like usual.
When he had gotten into Evan's room he paused, taking in the sight of the boy in front of him. He didn't do well with talking about feelings, they confused him which always led to something resembling anger, but seeing someone so deserving of better torn apart by them made him wish he could. Evan stuttered apologies through his tears but he wouldn't hear them, he just removed his boots and crawled into bed to sit with him.
After a while he learned through broken sobs that nothing serious had happened, he was just overwhelmed. Which, no one understood that feeling better than him, but even if he knew the feeling he wasn't sure how to help. After staring at Evan's shaking back for a while he gently ran his hand up his back, feeling goosebumps left in its wake.
Evan shivered under the unexpected gentleness but it had helped ground him. He felt his sobs grow further apart as he continued the rhythmic movement of his hand. Absent-mindedly he started to draw shapes. Dragging his finger gently, he drew the angled lines of a triangle, then a circle, then a square. At that moment he had noticed the quiet sobs were gone and reduced to shaking breaths.
So he started another shape, this time adding detail. A circle, then petals and a stem, finishing with leaves, then he waited. He hoped this would be the final thing to bring his boyfriend out of his mind and back to earth.
"Is it.. a flower?" he heard Evan's shaky voice, raw from crying.
"Could have been a little faster with your answer but I guess you can get a pass," he hoped in vain to lighten the mood.
The silence between them was calmer this time, not filled with awkwardness and crying. Connor was glad. He heard Evan take a breath.
"Could you... draw something else?" his tone uncertain, but voice starting to come back to normal.
This made Connor smile. He had found a way he could help, he finally didn't feel helpless.
"Okay but you have to guess faster," he poked at his side, earning a squirm.
Once again he used his finger, dragging it gently against his back. He started with a triangle, then a line leading to a half circle sitting on a squiggle.
“Uhm..,” he could practically hear the wheels in Evan's mind turning too fast, he always thought too hard, “A boat?”
Connor nodded, starting another, then another then another. He would do anything he could to help his boyfriend, he would do this all day if it meant he wasn't helpless to the crashing tidal wave of Evan's mind.
With this drawing he took extra detail and care. A long, thick trunk, leading into branches covered in leaves. In his head, the drawing was colored in warm soothing colors to portray the safety he hoped Evan felt. When he finished the drawing he signed his name, mimicking the way he did on Evan's cast 2 years ago.
This tree was special. It had marked the start of a long road to recovery for the both of them. After he had stormed off with his letter that day, and failed his attempt, he was stuck in the hospital forced to speak to everyone about his feelings. He was losing his mind, but then his family told him his best friend was there.
Evan had dug himself so far in with lies about being his friend he could barely look at him, but because he'd rather try again then listen to Cynthia telling him about pilates and Buddhism he let it become the truth. Learning about all the lies he heard about their “perfect day” at the orchard, he wanted nothing more than to make it real. So he did, when he was finally discharged their perfect day was real, that tree became their spot.
Evan was quiet, as if really trying to see the drawing. Connor's face plastered with admiration for the boy in front of him.
“Don't over think it,” his voice sturdy in Evan's unsteady mind “You know it well.”
Another moment of silence before an uncertain answer “The tree in the orchard..?”
“Told you, you knew it” his tone lighthearted and relaxed.
Evan's body slowly lost tension with each drawing. He rolled over to face him. Connor finally got to see a clear view of his reddened puffy eyes.
Evan looked like he wanted to say something but the words seemed to get blocked in his brain. Connor hesitantly opened his arms, inviting him in. Even if he hated feelings he wasn't going to let someone so important to him go through them alone.
Evan curled into him burying his face, still sticky with drying tears, into his neck. Together they just laid there, Evan finally grounded, and Connor finally having found a way to help. He was relieved, hearing the steady full breaths of the man on his shoulder. He waited for him to doze off, wanting to make sure one last time, before he followed after him, that he was okay. Because, even if he hated feelings he knew they were there and he wasn't going to let them ruin something good.