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Part 11 of Pride Fics 2026🌈
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Published:
2026-06-29
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3,141
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1/1
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Mischief, Thou Art Afoot!

Summary:

“Alright.  What did she steal this time?”

“Carrots!”

“How many?”

“It doesn’t matter how many, it’s thievery!”

Waverly narrowed her eyes. “Wynonna …”

“Fine, one.”

“One carrot?”

“And a half!"

Someone is stealing vegetables and destroying biscuits at the farmer's market, and Wynonna and Nicole suspect each other. Waverly just wants to get up the courage to ask Nicole out.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“She did it again!”

Waverly managed to bite back a sigh as she handed over her sister’s coffee. “Okay.”

“Okay?  That uptight ginger giant stole from us again and all you can is say, okay?”

“How about okie dokie?”

Wynonna glared. “You’re not funny.”

“Alright.  What did she steal this time?”

“Carrots!”

“How many?”

“It doesn’t matter how many, it’s thievery!”

Waverly narrowed her eyes. “Wynonna …”

“Fine, one.”

“One carrot?”

“And a half!  One of the carrots broke on the way over here and half of it’s gone now.”

“And it’s not at all possible that you just lost one and half carrots?”

“No.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time, that’s all I’m saying,” Waverly said, sipping on her own coffee as she took her seat behind their vegetable stand. “Remember the time you misplaced a whole case of turnips?”

“That was different.  I had only been running the stand for a year back then, and besides, who even likes turnips?”

“Clearly someone or we wouldn’t bother growing them.  I’m just saying, you don’t even like running the stand, and keeping track of the produce has never been your strong suit even on a good day.” 

The Earps family'd had a stand at the local farmer’s market since Purgatory first started one over a hundred years ago, but since Waverly and Wynonna had taken over the Earp farm, they’d scaled down the actual farm part considerably.  These days, they had a couple chickens, one ornery cow, and a couple vegetable patches that were small enough for the two of them to manage by themselves between Wynonna’s bartending shifts and Waverly’s library job.  And Wynonna would’ve gotten rid of even the vegetable patches if the stand wasn’t so popular, the extra cash it provided getting them through more than one tough financial spot over the years.

“I don’t hate running the stand or anything,” Wynonna countered sullenly. “I’m just better with customers when I can curse at them and throw them out if they piss me off.  Anyway, you’re the one who takes this stuff seriously.  Don’t you want to know what happened to our missing carrots?  Or the parsnips last week, or the cucumbers last month?”

“Allegedly missing carrots and parsnips and cucumbers.  And why do you think Nicole was the one who took them?”

“Because vegetables only started going missing after she took over Nedley’s food truck, plus we’re at the end of the row and she’s the only competitor close enough.”

“Competitor, we’re not competitors, this is a farmer’s market -“

“And she was hanging around here this morning making googly eyes at you.”

Waverly fought back a blush, remembering how Nicole had come over right before the market opened, making small talk about sweet potatoes, saying something about how Waverly's smile was even sweeter than the potatoes.  She’d done stuff like that a lot ever since she had taken over Nedley’s Nibbles - a somewhat off-putting name, but the food was always good.  Now, with Nicole cooking, it was great, and the truck usually got twice the visitors their vegetable stand did.  It was bringing out Wynonna’s competitive side, and now apparently they were escalating to criminal accusations.

“I should go confront her,” Wynonna said, "let everyone know she’s a vegetable stealer!  Y’know what, I’m doing it, I’m gonna -“

“No, no,” Waverly said, her hand shooting out to grab Wynonna’s arm as she tried to march off.  “Let me go, okay?  I’ll ask nicely, and if it wasn’t her, we won’t have gotten into a stupid fight with someone we have to see every other weekend for the next who knows how many years.”

“Fine.  But you better actually ask.  And hey, try and look in the truck and see if you see half a carrot.”

“Sure, no problem.  There's no legitimate, law abiding reason a truck that sells soups and salads might have a half a carrot in it.”

Reluctantly she went over to Ned’s Nibbles, except it wasn’t Ned’s Nibbles anymore.  A new sign with pretty blue lettering declared it ‘Nicole’s Nibbles.’  It had paw prints on the bottom in a line, an adorable touch in Waverly’s opinion.

She didn’t have to wait too long, only three customers needing to be helped before she could walk up to the window. “Hi, Nicole.”

“Hey, Waverly.” Nicole smiled and leaned on her counter so she was at least a little closer to Waverly's height. “How’s it going?”

“Good.  Good weather, good turnout, it’s all -“

Nicole grinned. “Good?”

“Yep.” Waverly put on her biggest, most blinding head cheerleader smile. “You haven’t, um, found any carrots today, have you?”

“Did I … what?”

“Find any carrots.  Like, on the ground or maybe you had extra in your truck there somehow.”

“Uh, no, not that I’m aware of.”

“Sure, of course.  My sister just thinks she misplaced her carrots and I thought you, uh.  You might have … seen them.”

Nicole raised her eyebrows. “Uh-huh.  Well, if I see any carrots just lying around, I’ll let you know.”

“Thank you.” She cleared her throat and looked around for something else to talk about. “Oh, I like your new sign.”

“Thanks.  Picked it up this morning.  I would’ve changed the name completely, but I didn’t want customers to get confused.  Figured I’d ease them in with ‘Nicole’s Nibbles’ and then wait a year and rename it to ‘Haught To Go’ or something.”

“Oh, I like that.  But I dunno, Nicole’s Nibbles is kinda cute.  And so’s the sign.  I love the little paw prints.”

“Paw prints?” Nicole leaned out of the truck to look down at the sign. “What the hell?  Those weren’t there this morning.  A soccer team came by earlier, maybe one of the kids drew them.”

“I guess.  Weird that they’re in the exact same color blue as the rest of the sign though.”

“Yeah, it is.  Oh, and the paint looks kinda smeared on the bottom, damn it.  It was still wet when I got here, the kids must’ve decided to play with it.”

“Sorry.  But hey, I think it looks better like that.  More homemade.  It goes with the whole farmer’s market vibe.”

Nicole smiled again, sweet and warm. “I don’t know about that, but thank you.  You want your usual?”

“Yes, please.”

She brought back the food to Wynonna, who immediately demanded, “Well?”

“She says she hasn't seen them, and I looked in the truck as much as I could when she was making your sandwich.  I couldn’t see any carrots at all.”

Wynonna aggressively ripped the wrapping off her BLT. “Must’ve hidden them.  She’s smart, I’ll give her that.”

Waverly made a vague noise of neither agreement or disagreement, too busy staring at the heart that had been drawn on the lid of her soup.

*

That night, Waverly got out some dyed wood that was almost the same color as Nicole’s new sign lettering and her knitting needles, sat down on the couch and started a new project.

She was still knitting when Wynonna got home from her shift at Shorty’s.  Her sister sat down in her favorite armchair with a groan and knocked her foot against Waverly’s.  “What are you working on?”

“A sweater.”

“Oh, cool.  Are you gonna start selling them?”

“Sure, I can make little ones for the pumpkins.”

Wynonna snorted. “I’m serious.  How many times have I told you it’s time for you to get your own stand?”  You’re always crafting, you should at least make some money off of it.”

“Maybe I want my hobby just to be a hobby.  To be for fun and for me and not for profit.”

“Sure, if that’s fair.  If that’s why, and it's not because you’re nervous to put yourself out there.  Y’know, like the way you still haven’t asked Nicole out.”

Waverly looked at Wynonna askance. “Seriously?  You don’t even like Nicole!”

“I really don’t, but you do.  And anyone’s a step up from Champ and me hating him never stopped you, so what’s stopping you now?”

She ducked her head, focusing back on the sweater so she didn’t have to look at Wynonna. “Maybe I’m taking the slow approach.  We don’t all hook up with guys the first time we meet them and then turn them into our boyfriends six months and three quasi-breakups later.  Some of us like to ease into these things.”

“Wow, cheap shot.  But I’m the one in a relationship right now, so my way works.” Wynonna’s voice got softer. “And maybe the real reason you haven’t done it is that you’re a little nervous to ask out a woman for the first time.”

Waverly shrugged, her eyes fixed on her knitting needles.

“Okay.  Well, take your time if you need it.  I’m just saying, your crafts would sell and Nicole definitely wants to go out with you.  So don’t wait too long, okay?  Even a vegetable stealer liker her can probably find another woman who’ll take her in this tiny town, and people get real excited about crafts and knitwear in the fall.”

“Noted.”

Wynonna got up and Waverly sighed, staring down at the sweater whose arms were already too long for her or Wynonna, but looked about right for a certain redhead.  She decided that when she finished it, she’d use it as a way to ask out Nicole.  All she really needed was a way to start the conversation and this was as good of an opening as any.  She could ask her opinion on starting her own craft stand or something, then ask to talk about it over dinner.  She could do that.

Probably.

She groaned and abandoned the half-knit sweater on the couch, heading up to bed, putting off the scary prospect of asking the prettiest woman she'd ever seen for another day.

*

The next Saturday, Nicole stopped by the stand in the morning like usual, all bright smiles and flirty banter about rutabagas, the strong winds whipping her hair out of her ponytaile  Waverly imagined her in the blue sweater and couldn’t stop blushing the whole time.

A couple hours later, Nicole started towards their stand like she was on a mission.  Waverly couldn’t help but beam at the sight of her. “Hey, Nicole, back so soon?”

“Hey, Waves,” she said with a distracted smile before marching over to Wynonna and pointing a finger in her face. “You ruined my biscuits!”

Wynonna scoffed. “Did not.”

“The stand across from me has a camera, Wynonna.  You’re the only one near my truck while I was gone to get some backup spices from my car.”

“Ha, no one goes to your food truck, self burn.”

“I put a really big away sign and it was like five minutes and - y’know what, no, that’s not the point.  I came back and the tray of biscuits I had cooling was on the floor.  So what were you doing near my truck?”

“Calm down, Haught Head, I didn’t touch your stupid biscuits or your dumb truck.  I just went to the water fountain behind it, that’s all.”

“Really?  Because I’ve never seen you drink anything other than black coffee and whiskey the whole time I’ve worked here.”

“It was for my coffee, it was too hot and I didn’t want to wait for it to cool down to drink it.”

“I’ve seen her do that before,” Waverly confirmed. “And maybe the tray of biscuits just fell down?  The wind has been pretty intense today, maybe it shook the truck enough to knock them off the counter.  It can’t be that sturdy in there, and the counter space can’t be that big.”

"Maybe." Nicole huffed out an annoyed breath. “Fine.  Whatever.” She pointed at Wynonna. “But I’m keeping an eye on you, Earp.”

“Hey, no, I’m keeping an eye on you!” Wynonna called as Nicole stomped away. “You hear me?  I’m the one keeping an eye on you, carrot stealer!”

“Biscuit killer!” Nicole yelled out before slamming open the back door of her truck.

“Parsnip … purloiner!  That’s a word, right?” Wynonna asked Waverly in a quieter voice.  Waverly nodded and Wynonna grinned smugly. “You were right not to ask her out, by the way.  Imagine making something like that up just to hide stealing our vegetables.”

Another gust of wind went by, shaking Nicole’s truck and scattering some of their vegetables.  As she and Wynonna scrambled to pick up their fallen products, Waverly could swear she heard a kind of buzzing sound.  Kind of echo-y.

Probably just the wind.

*

“Seven green beans!”

Waverly blinked, utterly thrown.  The finished blue sweater was tucked underneath the stand, and she’d been out of it all morning, psyching herself up  to go over to Nicole’s truck to give it to her and finally ask her out. “Is this a riddle I don’t understand?”

“We are missing seven green beans!  I knew it!  I kept a chart and I’ve been counting our sales all day, and look, Waverly!  Seven green beans are missing!”

“No, I see it,” Waverly said, pushing the chart that Wynonna was shoving under her nose out of the way. “But when would Nicole have even been able to take them?  We’ve been here all day.”

“Probably when we were distracted by the old lady showing us pictures of her grandkids for like twenty minutes.”

“We were like three feet away from the stand when that happened, you seriously think Nicole snuck past us?”

“Yes!”

“That’s ridiculous, not to mention impossible.”

“No, I’m right, I know it, and I’m gonna go get proof.”

“Wynonna, don’t!”

But it was too late.  Wynonna was already halfway to Nicole’s truck before Waverly finished speaking, and then she was there, pounding at the back door. “Hey, Five Finger Discount, get your ass out here.”

Waverly made a sad little noise as Nicole threw open the door and she and Wynonna started to bicker.  Today probably wasn’t the day to ask Nicole out after all.

She leaned down to get the sweater out from under the stand and put it back in her bag … but it wasn’t there.

Waverly frowned, then looked again, feeling around the compartment.  She opened her bag to make sure she hadn’t left it in there and forgotten, then looked desperately around the stand.  Nothing.  The sweater was gone.

She sat back down in her seat and put her head in her hands.  Today couldn’t get any worse.

And then, as she sat there, sad and defeated, she heard something.  That same low, echoing buzzing sound from before, but it sounded more familiar this time.  And closer.

She took a few steps away from the stand.  At the end of the row was an old busted trash can that the county had never bothered to take away or fix.  The top was partially ripped off, partly mangled, probably from a car or something hitting it, with a big hole at the top with spiky bits of broken metal all around it.

Waverly leaned carefully over the spiky bits and peered inside. “Oh.  Hello, thief.”

She looked around at the other stands and spotted Pet Paradise.  Time to get a crate and squash this ridiculous beef once and for all.

*

When she finally got over to Nicole’s Nibbles, her sister and her crush were still arguing.  Waverly walked up to them, crate hidden behind her back and cleared her throat loudly. “Enough!”

Both Nicole and Wynonna shut up instantly.

Waverly turned to her sister. “I know who stole your carrots.”

“Yeah, her,” Wynonna said, glaring at Nicole.

“And I know who stole your biscuits.”

“Already solved that mystery, thanks, Waves,” Nicole said, narrowing her eyes at Wynonna.

“And the same perp stole my sweater.”

Wynonna rolled her eyes. “Okay, seriously with the Sherlock Holmes shtick?  If you’re saying it’s not Big Red, then who was it?”

“Fine, fine, cue the dramatic reveal.”

Waverly moved the crate in front of her and held it up for them to see. “Behold our thief.”

The big orange cat inside purred loudly, the picture of contentment.  Not one care for the damage she’d done.

"The paw prints on the sign," Nicole said, understanding dawning on her face.

“No way,” Wynonna said, bending down to look at the cat. “No, because why would a cat want a carrot?  Aren't they carnivores?”

“It’s a stray, it probably takes what it can get.”

“Explains it going for Ginger Spice’s biscuits, I guess,” Wynonna said. “But c’mon, Waves, we’ve had veggies going missing for months.  You really think it was all one cat?”

“Sorry, do you not see how big this thing is?  Besides, when I found it, it was sleeping on my missing sweater and had three green beans next to its paw.”

“Oh.  Huh.” Wynonna scuffed her foot against the ground. “Sorry, I guess.”

Nicole nodded stiffly. “Thank you.  And me, too.  Sorry.”

“Cool.  So … I’m gonna go back to the stand.  See you around.”

And then Wynonna was walking back to the stand almost as quickly as she’d come, the back of her neck bright red.

“Thank you, by the way,” Nicole said as soon as Wynonna was gone, “for clearing my name.”

“It only needed clearing because my sister’s a little paranoid.  Or, well, I guess not paranoid after all, just bad at solving mysteries.” Waverly turned the crate so she could look inside. “But now what do we do?  I can’t just let it go, it’s gonna get cold in a couple weeks, but I have a friend who works at the shelter and they're already almost full.”

“Well, I’ve always liked cats.  I’d been thinking of getting one for a while now, but I guess the cat distribution system took care of it for me.”

“Perfect,” Waverly said, handing over the crate.  The cat inside hissed, clearly not a fan of being moved. “Good luck.”

“Maybe you could help.  Come over, see how she’s doing, help me teach her not to steal my food.” Nicole looked at Waverly from under her lashes. “I could make you dinner.”

She smiled.  The sweater had worked out after all, even if it was in a roundabout sort of way. “Sounds perfect to me.”

*

Waverly wasn’t sure what woke her up at first.  She struggled to sit up, gently moving Nicole’s arm off her and throwing off her bonus blanket, blinking heavily as she tried to adjust to the dim light in her girlfriend’s bedroom.

Before she saw anything, she heard it.  A low buzzing sound.

Calamity Jane was sitting at the end of their bed, one of Nicole's sweet potato biscuits on one side, and a mitten that Waverly had made for her new craft-and-knitwear stand on the other.  She purred, staring at Waverly defiantely.

With a sigh, Waverly laid back down and cuddled close to Nicole.  She'd figure out what to do with their little thief in the morning.

Notes:

EFA Prompt: Write something about 'audacity'.

Me: So you want me to write about a cat, got it.

EFA Prompt: No, about Wynonna Earp, the show, probably WayHaught. Like maybe enemies to lovers or something -

Me: I hear you, write about a cat.

EFA Prompt: What are you talking about? Are you okay? Do you understand what words mean?

Me: And Waverly looks down in the trash and finds a cat ...

Sorry, but when I think audacity, I think cat, and particularly Calamity Jane sitting on Bunny after she fainted. So I wrote this silly little thing. Is it the most WayHaught-focused? No. Does it only kinda fit the prompt? Yes. Did I have fun writing it? Absolutely. And I will never go through and count how many of my 250+ fics involve pets, especially cats, and how many of them have similar plots to this fic, because I love myself. Title is Shakespeare. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy, and happy Pride!

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