Chapter Text
Lance was in a good mood.
He’d just hit a thousand followers on Instagram. His account was a carefully curated album of selfies ranging from cute and coy to sexy and near shameless. Sometimes his beautiful face was accompanied by friends, food, or impulse purchases (that thrift shop jacket is now very frequently featured in his posts, it’s part of his developing aesthetic), and every once in a while he’ll indulge his fans with a shirtless photo. He was very proud of his #smygfit tag, a concept introduced to him by some Swedish user named Sven who was surprised at his physique.
To celebrate his newly quantified status as a small-time celebrity, Hunk had invited Lance to go for milkshakes at a place called Taylor’s.
During the short drive from their California community college to downtown Loomis, Lance had already taken three victory selfies, all posed with Hunk while they were stopped at traffic signals. Once they pulled into the parking lot, Lance had them take one more outside of the small shake shop so he could catch the sign before they walked inside.
The inside felt even smaller as they were crowded in front of the counter to stand in line.
“So what’s good here?” Lance was still looking at his phone as he tagged his photos and waited for them to upload.
“Oh, dude,” Hunk began, “just look at the menu, there’s an insane variety of flavors to choose from.”
Lance looked at the menu, and he saw:
Shakes & Malts
- 4 Berry
- Acai
- Almond
- Almond Butter
- Almond Joy
- Almond Poppy Seed
- Almond Roca
- Amaretto
- Annoying Orange
- Apple Jax
- Apple Pie
- Apricot
- Avocado
- Bacon
- Banana
- Banana Bread
- Banana Chip
- Banana Cookie Crumb
- Banana Creme Pie
- Banana Nutella
- Banana Oreo Caramel
- Banana Split
- Bananas Foster
- Bear Claw
- Big Daddy
- Black Cherry
- Black Currant
- Black Forrest
- Black Liquorice
- Blackberry
- Blackberry-Banana
- Blackberry Cobbler
- Blood Orange
- Blueberry
- Blueberry Cheesecake
- Blueberry Muffin
- Boston Brown Bread
- Boston Cream Pie
- Boysenberry
- Breakfast Blend
- Brownie
- Bubble Gum
- Butterfinger
- Butter Pecan
- Butter Rum
- Butterscotch
- Candy Bar
- Candy Cane
- Cantaloupe
- Cappuccino
- Captain Crunch
- Caramel
- Caramel Apple
- Caramel Banana
- Caramel Corn
- Caramel Frap
- Caramel Turtle Cheesecake
- Carrot Cake
- Carrot Ginger
- Champagne Cake
- Cheesecake
- Cherry
- Cherry 4 Berry
- Cherry Cheesecake
- Cherry Pie
- Cherry Lime Frz.
- Cherry Pepsi Frz.
- Chic `o’ Stick
- Choco. Covered Banana
- Choco. Covered Strawberry
- Chocolate
- Chocolate Banana
- Chocolate Bacon
- Chocolate Chip
- Choco. Covered Cherry
- Choco. Covered Pretzel
- Chocolate Creme Pie
- Chocolate Milano
- Chocolate Mint
- Chocolate-Strawberry
- Choco.-Raspberry
- Chocolate Peanut Butter
- Chunky Monkey
- Cinnamon Roll
- Cinnamon Toast Crunch
- Cloud `9’
- Coco Pebbles
- Coconut
- Coconut Chip
- Coconut Creme Pie
- Coffee
- Coffee Cake
- Cookie Crumb
- Cookie Dough
- Cookies + Milk
- Cookie Monster
- Cosmic Brownie
- Cotton Candy
- Cupcake
- Cranberry
- Cranberry-Orange
- Cran-Pomegranate
- Cran-Raspberry
- Creamy Chai
- Creme Brulé
- Crunch Berry
- Cream Sickle
- Cucumber-Lime
- Custard Donut
- Dark Chocolate
- DK. Choco. Lavender
- Date
- Date Nut
- Dr. Pepper Frz.
- Death By Chocolate
- Eggnog
- Fireball
- Dutch Apple
- Fatboy Favorite
- Fig
- Fig Newton
- Fluffernutter
- For the Love of Jim
- Frere Roche
- Fruity Pebbles
- Fudgesicle
- German Choco. Cake
- Ginger Ale
- Ginger Bread
- Girl Scout Cookie
- Golden Eagle
- Golden Oreo
- Grape
- Granola
- Grapefruit
- Green Machine
- Guava
- Hazelnut
- Heathchip
- Hibiscus
- Horchata
- Hot Fudge
- Huckleberry
- Irish Creme
- Kahalua
- Key Lime Pie
- Kit Kat
- Kiwi
- Kiwi Strawberry
- Lavender
- Leche
- Lemon Cheesecake
- Lemon Frz.
- Lemon Meringue Pie
- Lemonade
- Lemonhead
- Lime Frz.
- Loganberry
- M+M Minis
- M+M Pretzel Chuck
- Macadamia Nut
- Macaroon
- Mai-tai Frz.
- Mango
- Mango Madness
- Mango-Passion
- Maple
- Maple-Bacon
- Maple-Donut
- Maple Nut
- Marshmallow
- Mexican Chocolate
- Mint Choco-Chip
- Mocha
The menu began to wrap under the counter, so Lance crouched to continue reading.
- Peppermint Patty
- Pepsi Frz.
- Pineapple
- Pineapple-Apricot
- Pineapple-Chipotle
- Pineapple-Coconut
- Pineapple-Upside Down Cake
- Pistachio
- Plum
- POG
- Pomegranate
- Pomegranate Orange Frz.
- Prickley Pear
- Pumpkin
- Pumpkin Bread
- Pumpkin Chai
- Quince
- Rainbow Sherbet
- Rasp. White Choco. Cheescake
- Raspberry
- Rasp.-Brownie
- Rasp.-Chip
- Rasp. Lemonade
- Red Velet
- Red, White, + Blue
- Rice Crispy Treat
- Rocky Road
- Rootbeer Frz.
- Rose
- Rose Chip
- Reese’s Pieces
- Macha Green Tea
- Molasses Cookie
- Mt. Dew Frz.
- Mud Pie
- Neopolitan
- Ninja Turtle
- Nutella
- Oatmeal Cream Pie
- Old Fashion Chocolate
- Orange Chip
- Orange Frz.
- Orange Marmalade
- Oreo
- Oreo Banana
- Ovaltine
- Pancake
- Papaya
- Passion Fruit
- Peach
- Peach Cobbler
- Peanut Butter
- PB+Jelly
- PB Apple
- PB Banana
- PB Choco-Chip
- PB Crunch
- PB M+M’s
- PB Twix
- Pear
- Pecan Praline
- Peppermint Bark
- Tigers Blood
- Tiramisu
- Tony’s Temtation
- Tootsie Roll
- Tres Leche
- Tropical Twister
- Tuxedo
- Twinkie
- Twist Shake
- Twix
- Vanilla
- Vanilla Frap
- Warhead
- Wasabi
- Watermelon
- White Choco Mac-Nut
- White Chocolate
- White Choco.-Raspberry
- White Mocha
- Whopper
- Worms + Dirt
- Nerds
- Lingonberry
- Flan
- Mojito
- Raspberry Milano
- Rum Raisin
- Sneaky Snacky
- Sarah’s Childhood
- Shark Bite
- The Sweetheart
- S’moores
- Salted Caramel Pretzel
- Samoa
- Shamrock
- Shirley Temple
- Skadoodle
- Slice of Pumpkin Pie
- Snicker Doodle
- Snickers
- Sour Apple
- Spearmint
- Spicy Chocolate
- Spicy Mango
- Spumoni
- Straw,Mango, Cherry Blast
- Strawberry
- Straw.-Balsamic
- Straw.-Banana
- Straw. Cheesecake
- Straw. Lemonade
- Straw. Shortcake
- Streusel Cake
- Sunflower
- Sunny Delight
- Sweet Mess
- Swiss Roll
- Tahini
- Tamarind
- Tang
- Tapioca
- Tayor Punch
- Nutter Butter
- Orange Cream Cake
- Peanut Brittle
- Peanut Butter Pretzel
- Pineapple Banana
- Pumpkin Cheesecake
- Touch of Honey
- Reese’s PB Cups
- The Californian
- Sesame Sunburst
- San Diego
- Siracha
- Blackberry Sangria
- Cherry Lemonhead
- Elderflower
- Smoked Pineapple Chipotle
- Ant Hill
- Dave’s Delight
- Gator Power
- Grape Ape
- Habanero Lime
- Hawaiian Salted Caramel
- Jelly Donut
- Lemon Grass
- Acai Bowl
- Blue Hawaiian
- Cherry Dr. Pepper
- Fuzzy Navel
- Heaven
- Holiday Cheer
- Huckleberry Shortcake
- Mango Green Tea
- Peach Tea
- Berry Sherbet
- Black Walnut
- Blue Raspberry
- Kindergarten
- Lemon Cooler
- Mandarin
- Peach Margarita
- Roy Rogers
- Straw. Margarita
- Apple Butter
- Apricot Danish
- Cherries Jubilee
- Dragon Fruit
- Nectarine
- Purple Rain
Lance glanced at Hunk then back to the menu to read through it again.
"What are you getti-- wait they serve other food here, too?" Lance had finally noticed the rest of the menu that wrapped above the counter. He read it, beginning with the end closest to the list of flavors:
Sandwiches & Wraps
- Classic BLT
- Club Sandwich
- Wraps - Ham OR Turkey
- Chicken Wrap
- Chicken Strip Sandwich
- Grilled Cheese Sandwich
- Grilled Ham + Cheese Sandwich
- Fish Sandwich
- Patty Melt
- Hot Pastrami Sandwich
- Reuben Sandwich
- Firemen’s Special
On The Side
- Taylor Chips
- French Fries
- Onion Rings
- Green Beans
- Mozzarella Cheese Sticks (4)
- Chili-Cheese Fries
- Chicken Strips
- Zucchini Sticks
- Sidewinder Fries
- Cup `o’ Chili
- Buffalo Bleu Cheese Fries
- Garlic Fries Eagle Fries
- Fried Pickles
- Macaroni & Cheese Bites
- (Redneck Caviar)
Seafood
- Clam Strip Basket
- Shrimp & Fries Basket
- Fish & Fry Basket
Kids Meals
- Chicken Strips
- Grilled Cheese Sandwich
- Corn Dog Meal
- P.B. & J.
w/ Fries & Sm. Soda/ Juice
Burgers
- Hamburger •Hot & Spicy
- Cheeseburger
- Dbl. Cheeseburger
- Bacon-Cheeseburger
- Dbl. Bacon-Cheeseburger
- Chili-Cheeseburger
- Cheddar Bacon-BBQ
- Swiss Mushroom-Burger
- Boca-Burger (vegetarian)
- Turkey Burger •Teriyaki Burger
Hot * •Hot Dog
* Dogs •Chili-Dog w/ cheese
- Corn Dog
- Vegetarian Dog
- (add sauerkraut)
Sundaes
- Hot Fudge Caramel
- Brownie Pineapple
- Butterscotch Chocolate
- Strawberry Blackberry
- Blueberry
-------------
- Banana Split
ICE CREAM •Vanilla
CUP or CONE •Chocolate
•Twist
•Dipped
•Kids Cone
Breakfast
- Taylor’s Breakfast Burrito
- Scrambled Eggs, Potatoes, gravy, Cheese, Ham, Bacon & Mushrooms
- Pancake Stack
- Pancakes, Bacon & Eggs
- Croissant Sandwich (Ham or Bacon)
- Side of Tots
- Cinnammon Roll
By the time Lance finished reading the menu, Hunk was wrapping up his order with the cashier and stepping to the main counter to wait for his shake.
"I ordered us some sidewinder fries to share," Hunk mentioned, "you've gotta try 'em. Crispy perfection."
Lance nodded and stepped forward to place his order. The cashier was around his height and looked about his age. His hair was dark and kinda long, and he was wearing a name tag that read "Keith".
"What would you like to order?" Keith asked.
Lance leaned back to glance once more at the menu before turning back to the register.
"I'll just have a chocolate shake."