Work Text:
· · ─ ·⊹ ࣪ ˖· ─ · ·
The soft breeze of late-spring crept through the half-open balcony door. — Enough to let the scent of alcohol out of the apartment and spare him a visit of the janitor to check if he was still alive. —
Leon rested half laid and half sitting on his couch, in sweats and a black compression shirt that had seen better days.
Despite being 37 he looked like he had aged 10 years in the past month or so, his hand was wrapped around the neck of a whiskey bottle, pouring himself another glass of the golden liquid – even though he might as well just drink straight from the bottle now.
The coffee table was cluttered by empty whiskey bottles, carelessly tossed there and some still open, serving to fill the apartment with the scent of alcohol and regret to linger in every corner.
Leon sipped on the glass of whiskey again, the bitter taste burning its way down its throat and failing to numb the weight of every trauma and failed mission he carried — He wiped his lips with the back of his hand, feeling the messy stubble he had let grow over his face.
The breeze of the balcony entered the apartment in a soft whoosh when Ada stepped in like a ghost. Tipped by someone to rely on, she heard that Leon had gone... dark, to say the least. She hadn't seen him for longer than usual — Not by her own will. — Their lives, work and her own walls had gotten in the way more than they'd like.
Her brown eyes scanned the surroundings for a brief second, the space known but cluttered now. Then finally she landed on him – messy stuble, dark circles under his eyes that mixed with the sight of what reminded her of an emo eyeliner, smeared slightly in the corner of his right eye.
Seeing him like this made her chest tighten more than she acknowledged.
He sipped on his glass again, finishing it before he noticed the shadow standing gracefully before the balcony window. He squinted his eyes through the haze before a bitter and crooked grin appeared in his face. "Well if it isn't the hottest ghost in the business." He said, his voice slightly rough with the haze of drunkness he was in, yet it carried equal parts of anger and aching want — The same he had carried with himself since 1998. —
Noticing her silence he shook his head with a bitter chuckle. "Great. Now the hallucinations are getting fancy." He muttered as he set his glass aside, instead reaching for the neck of the half-empty bourbon bottle and taking another swing of it. "Here to watch the show and haunt me properly? Or just checking if I'm still breathing."
"You're drunk." Ada stated calmly, though she crossed her eyes over her chest for the slightest second. — Her eyes traced the bottles again, recounting them quietly before adding; "And apparently trying to set a new record." — Her voice carried a faint bit of humor, masking the concern underneath.
"Observant as ever, hallucination-Ada." Leon replied bitterly, then took another swing of his bottle before watching how Ada approached him, listening to the faint click of her heels on the floor. Warched her push the bottles of the coffee table away. "Fuck off, I earnt this." He argued, though his voice carried no actual heat, just a lingering anger that was as thin as a candle flame in the wind.
Ada watched as Leon held the neck of the bottle and with a graceful and fast movement she snatched the bottle from Leon's hand before he could react. — Leon lurched up with a clumsy growl, nearly stumbling over his own feet as he reached for it. "Give it back." He snarled, his voice rather a growl than even proper words. "You don't get to show up after ghosting me and play savior." He added, his voice still rough as his blurry gaze tried to focus on Ada.
"I'm not playing anything. You're destroying yourself." Ada replied as she moved the bottle away from his reach. "So what if I am?" Leon spat again as he leaned forward and his hand grazed Ada's arm, his movements were slow, his gaze didn't help. He felt the light pressure of Ada's hand against his chest, pushing him back with ease until he flopped again into the couch with a thud.
He swiped to reach her hand again, his fingers brushed her wrist before she twisted away. — Leon's hand flopped down onto the couch cushion a beat later, his unfocused eyes following Ada's figure around the living room, along with the soft clinking of empty bottles. "Pathetic." Leon muttered to himself, barely earning a brief look from Ada. "Can't even win a fight against my own ghost. What a fucking hero." He murmured, mostly to himself, his words slurred slightly.
Ada didn't argue back – she figured it would be a waste of time. One by one she collected the empty bottles scattered around the coffee table and part of the floor. She took them all to the kitchen, tossing them in the trash while she felt Leon's glassy furious eyes on her. She glanced at the last open bottle, resting on the small dining table, still filled a little over halfway through. Leon tried to stand again, managed three stumbling steps towards it before Ada snatched it from the table and walked back into the kitchen.
Leon could only watch helplessly as Ada carried the bottle towards the kitchen sink. "Don't–" His voice were cut short by the sound of the expensive Whiskey pouring down the drain and echoing like a death knell.
His face crumpled as he let out an exhausted groan. "Goddamnit, Ada..." he muttered, his voice cracked slightly. "That was all I had left." He added as he stumbled slightly, catching himself on the armrest of his couch.
Ada turned to toss the last empty bottle on the trash along with the others, then wiped her hands and gave Leon a small glance. "You had me once. You still do, if you stop trying to kill yourself." She clarified, as if it was a matter-of-fact, though her voice had a slightly sweet edge, worry maybe — Leon was far too drunk to tell. —
He laughed in reply, it was hollow, broken if anything, a dull sound that faded quickly, as he pushed himself up again. "Me? With you? Yeah, right, I'm a walking corpse." He started saying, his words slightly slurred as he took slow steps towards Ada, signaling to himself, as if he needed to prove his words. "Look at me, pathetic, washed up government lapdog who can't even keep his shit together." He spat again, his words carried contempt only ever directed to himself.
Then he felt it, that familiar and uncomfortable churn in his stomach, that seemed to find this was the perfect moment to rebel, he stumbled towards the kitchen, moving past Ada and barely making it into the trash before doubling over and vomiting.
When his head lifted again, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes were wet with unshed tears and shame. "Shit... if you were real, I'd be so fucking embarassed right now." He murmured as he had enough decency to wash his hands, probably because he could still feel Ada's gaze on him. "Hallucination's probably judging me too, hm?" He tried to joke, as he scrubbed his hands and dried them carelessly on his sweat pants — When he gathered enough courage to look into what he expected to be eyes full of judgement, all he found was... worry.
Ada's expression had softened, the tension of their small argument sobered up from the room, seemingly having escaped through the small gap in the balcony door the same way the whiskey had slipped down the drain.
Ada stepped closer to him then, one hand gently caught his chin and tilted his face towards the dim light of a lamp along with the silver moonlight. Up close he looked even worse; pale, stinking of sweat and booze, eyeliner on his eyes that was smudged at the corner.
She scrunched her nose slightly. "You smell like a distillery that caught fire." She said, her voice almost a wince, yet her thumb traced his jawline very softly, then lifted until brushing the smudged eyeliner. "Is this... eyeliner?" She asked, looking rather surprised about that last detail.
Leon leaned into her touch, his eyes were heavy-lidded, he let out a tired hum. "Wanted to look pretty for my imaginary... situationship. How'm I doing?" He joked, his voice carried a hint of self-deprecation.
Ada huffed a soft laugh. "Terrible." She replied simply, but her words carried no bite. Instead, she reached into her bag, small — Leon barely noticed it now. — She pulled out a small pack of makeup remover wipes, ready as always and pulled out one.
She didn't need to order for him not to move, he seemed to have read the order before it was spoken – with careful and tender strokes, she began cleaning the smudges around his eyes. The eyeliner came away slowly, revealing the eyes beneath it. — Ada paused at the sight.
The silence lingered for a moment in the kitchen, it wasn't heavy at all though, not like the silence when Leon was alone. — Without the black lines his eyes looked... different, more like him, if anything. He looked softer, tired. Exhausted in a way that made Ada's chest tighten and her heart ache.
But still... those kind blue eyes she had met nearly over a decade and a half ago. The ones that had met hers with all the hope in the world, saying he'd do anything to save the world that would harden him into this later.
"Is it that bad?" Leon humored, noticing the long silence. Instead, his breath hitched when Ada's touch lingered, and her teasing mask, the one he was used to see, faded away to let him see the sweetest look in her brown eyes. Her fingers brushed a lock of hair from his face as she smiled. "There you are." She murmured, almost imperceptibly and mostly to herself.
Leon watched her through his wavering drunk haze, noticing the small shift in her gaze. "Ada... if you're not real..." He hesitated, his brain struggled to find words. "If this is a hallucination it has to be the cruelest one yet." He finally rephrased, then his hand came up to gently touch Ada's cheek, slowly, afraid, as if his touch alone could make her vanish. "You're still so fucking pretty it hurts."
Ada let out a soft, fond, huff, then tossed the used wipe in the trash and her hand found Leon's cheek once more. He tried to lean into her touch, his steps were clumsy, he stumbled and caught himself on the counter. "Shit... sorry. Jesus Christ. I'm disgusting." He muttered again. "Maybe you should leave, before you see more of the mess I've become." Leon said, defeated. Just as he was about to mention something else about the "hallucination" standing before him, Ada caressed his cheek with her thumb again. "I'm not leaving." She stated, then traced her hand down and held Leon's hand in hers. "Not tonight." She added, almost so subtly that Leon wouldn't have heard it.
He leaned into her, following her steps mindlessly and mumbling incoherent stuff almost the entire way. "You're not the real Ada... are you?" He mumbled again. Once in the bathroom, under the bright light, he wasn't of much help, so Ada's hands peeled of his stained shirt, then continued to undress him, ignoring quite a little the way his body reacted to her proximity – not like his body could work as fine as he did when he was sober.
Leon's hands traced Ada's hips slowly, he leaned in for a kiss, and Ada knew what he wanted, she gently grabbed his hands and guided them back. "Not tonight." She stated, gently, pushing him back softly into the bathtub.
"You can barely stand, let alone fuck me properly." She mentioned, while she undressed herself, and stepped into the shower with him, letting the hot spray of the shower fall over both of them, before she gently guided him to sit down. "First we'll get you clean and sober enough, so that then you can remember it." She added then, watching with a soft smile how Leon's eyes filled with the slightest spark of understanding.
She took her time under the warm spray of the shower, working shampoo through his hair with careful hands, her body pressed lightly over Leon's back; soaping away sweat and massaging away some of the stress that remained on his shoulders from the weight of many missions and too much to bear. When she was done with that, she let Leon lean his body over her a little, he murmured some incoherent stuff and repeated Ada's name as a lifeline. — His body, though half numbed by the amount of drinks, reacted to her touch, but Ada didn't intend to take it any further. Instead rinsing him clean until the water finally ran clear.
Upon stepping out of the shower and each being wrapped with a towel, Ada made Leon sit on top of the toilet lid, to then plug in his hair dryer — The same he'd bought for her the first time she stayed over for longer than a week. — Its low hum filled the small bathroom as she threaded her fingers through his hair, combing through the damp strands with the same tenderness she always had for him. It made his chest tighten, god he missed that.
She then dried her own hair, quick and efficient, as she was already used to doing.
Leon fumbled into a new pair of sweatpants and an old loose t-shirt, while Ada disappeared into his bedroom, only to be greeted by his mess of a bed.
She stripped the soiled sheets and replaced them with the spare set she'd bought the last time she was there – after insisting that Leon needed "real bedsheets" for his bed.
By the time he shuffled in, already with a hand in the back of his neck after having realized how badly his bedroom must've looked, the bed looked almost inviting. Ada had just finished puffing the pillows, and smiled softly as she watched Leon walk over.
They both climbed into bed together, Ada sat on the left side of the bed, wearing her underwear and a shirt she borrowed from Leon, insisting that was more comfortable. — Leon had never questioned her about it. —
Leon sat on the right side and hesitated for a moment before he lowered himself down to her lap, resting her head there as a remorseful dog seeking forgiveness. Yet his arms wrapped around her waist as though she might vanish if he didn't do so.
Ada stared down at him, quite surprised for a moment even though her expression showed she was amused by this.
" 'M sorry." Leon finally spoke, his voice was thick, still a little rough. "For all the shit I said tonight... for calling you a ghost... for telling you to fuck off, I didn't mean all of that." He mumbled again, before his arms wrapped slightly tighter around her. "I'm so fucking sorry Ada." He murmured again.
His words spilled like a quiet stream, followed by him pressing his face into Ada's stomach and murmuring some more apologies for every bitter, hurtful and nonsense thing he had said while drunk. And though he didn't cry, his breath hitched and his eyes glistened with a trace of sadness and something else.
"Sorry for the bottles, and puking and... for being such a pathetic mess infront of you." His words stumbled out between more apologies, though the slight slur in some of them made it obvious that he was still tipsy at best. "I'm just so fucking tired... Ada. And so angry at myself. I'm sorry." He added again, letting out a heavy sigh.
Ada's hand lifted softly and landed into Leon's hair, threading through his now soft hair, slow and soothing strokes that didn't stop or vanish. "Shh... I know." She whispered softly, her eyes flickered with a hint of sadness as she saw him like that. "I'm not mad, Leon. I know you didn't mean it." She added then. "I know you're hurting." She added finally, her voice faded but her touch didn't.
"You're still as stubborn as when I met you." She teased then, though her voice only remained warm and caring. "And you're still mine to deal with." She added before she leaned down to press a soft kiss to Leon's forehead.
He could just keep his slightly tight grip around her waist for a little longer, his breath still trembled lightly. Ada's hands continued to trace soft patterns on Leon's scalp, combing her fingers through his hair softly and letting her nails scratch him lightly in the way she knew he liked.
Slowly, his murmured apologies faded into silence, and the tension in his body started easing. Ada shifted down slightly until she was beside him, then pulled the clean sheets over them both. Leon curled on her side instinctively – his head tucked now against her chest — Close enough to listen to her heartbeat — and his arm slung over Ada's waist.
She wrapped her arms around him, holding him as close as she could while his breathing evened out.
For the first time in months — Even though for Leon it had felt like an eternity — The apartment felt less empty.
Ada stayed awake a while longer, listening to his relaxed breaths, while her fingers still idly played with his hair. Then, with a quiet sigh of her own, she let sleep pull her under too—tangled up with Leon and leaning into his warmth for the first time in a good while.
Somewhere between exhaustion and sleep, Leon's grip around her waist loosened—not because he feared she'd disappear anymore, but because, for once, he believed she'd still be there when morning came.
· · ─ ·⊹ ࣪ ˖· ─ · ·