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The backyard lights twinkle in a soft pace like the blinking stars in the night sky. He always loved to look at the sky, to count all the stars he could see in Texas firmament, to ask for some wishes, to feel mesmerized by them. Also blinking, the shiny ring Eddie keeps caressing inside his pocket —although he can't see it right now, he's been analyzing it for the past month, thinking if it was perfect enough for Buck, if it was the right size or the right diamond, until Christopher had to tell him that Buck would say yes even if he proposed with a ring pop.
They love Buck's backyard, so big, tranquil and full of plants Eddie loves to take care of. He's got a green thumb, after all, one he never encountered before moving in with Buck, too fast for anyone but not for them.
Eddie has one hand on the ring box and the other tangled with Buck's. He loves hearing him talking non-stop, especially now when he's so lost in what he knows his eyes sparkle. Buck's thumb lingers on his palm, moving around still intertwining their fingers together. His chairs are as close as they can physically manage and Eddie keeps his ankle plastered to Buck's leg, needing one more touch.
They are both wearing light clothes. The summer heat takes no mercy, only a bit with a nice night like this with just a bit of wind that moves the dark leaves and the pink flowers Eddie has grown. Their black matching shorts leave their legs bare and Eddie is grateful each time they move only a bit because his heart skips a beat with those contacts, skin-to-skin. He has known every inch of Buck's body for years, long before he had his heart too. It doesn't relieve the heat on his chest or the way his stomach flips when he touches him, unexpectedly. Nor when he looks at him so fondly he doesn't understand how he didn't notice earlier the shape their love had taken.
"You know I've never seen the stars so clearly here", Buck keeps talking, like he was reading Eddie's mind. "It's probably because of the rain last night. And oh, look, the moon phase is helping us too". Eddie needs him to shut up, so he squeezes Buck's hand, but he only takes it as an encouragement. "It's- It's a new moon. With a full moon it would be so much harder".
"Buck-".
"And- and-". Buck doesn't look at him, still fixated on the stars, like he's not even listening. "We won't ever be able to look at them so clearly here, but that's why Chris and I loved the observatory so much".
"Yeah, I know".
"Look, see those three together?" Buck moves both of their hands, without releasing them, to point at some lights in the sky Eddie can't even focus on because he's too busy trying to say something.
"Yes, Buck, and I want to-".
"If we could see more, we'd see Orion. It's my favorite even tho Chris says that's way too boring. Chris' favorite is Aquila The Eagle. I think he just loved it because it sounds cool".
"I need to ask you-".
"I wonder what's his favorite now. We haven't gone in months. We should go this week! I'm gonna ask him. Or, like, we can travel, so we can see them-".
Buck looks at him again with a light pink tint on his cheeks and a smile on his face. Eddie loves that smile so much, he'd hate to make him stop talking. But he also loves it so much, he knows it's the right time. Or if it isn't, he doesn't care. He needs to do it as sure as he is about the feather weight inside his chest, his heart growing bigger every second.
"Buck, shut up, please". He says with a slight open mouth and his fangs creating a mesmerized smile.
"Why? You love hearing this. Don't tell me you're already tired of me". Buck jokes, because they both know Eddie isn't. Also, Eddie's heart eyes on top of him can't lie.
"I need to tell you something".
"I know- maybe we can't afford it right now but I know just the perfect place to camp so we can see-".
"Buck, stop! I've been trying to ask you to marry me the whole night!"
"No, Eds, you don't get it. We can go to-". He looks up to the sky, just for one second, before coming back to Eddie's face with a surprised expression, who looks at him with pink cheeks. "Did you just… said… what I-?"
Eddie smiles, nodding like crazy and when he starts blinking rapidly, he notices his eyes are wet. As he nods, Buck shakes his head, like he doesn't believe him. Like the first time he told him he loved him and he had to clarify he meant loved him, as he confessed: "I'm in love with you in a way you feel like sunshine inside my chest".
It's going to be hard get better than that.
Buck smiles, and as he knows he loves him with all his heart, starts crying too. Eddie breaks down with a bigger smile and Buck finally lets him go, only to grab him by the sides of his neck.
"You're not kidding. You're asking to marry me".
"I'm trying. If you just let me". Eddie laughs and Buck mimics him as a tear wets his face.
Buck's laugh lights up his whole face and Eddie doesn't care about the stars anymore because his boyfriend —soon to be husband— is way more grand, way more bright, way bigger. When he was little, the stars were his favorite and now he understands nothing could ever fight against that beautiful smile —not the stars, not the sky, not the entire infinity of constellations, not the universe filled with colorful nebulae.
"Okay, we're ridiculous".
"You're ridiculous".
Buck gasps, feigning outrage. "But you wanna marry me".
"Yes, yes I do. So much. I've been practicing my speech for like, a month, and you don't even let me say it". Eddie admonishes him jokingly, moving Buck's hands from his face to take them both on his.
"So…", Buck moves nervously on his seat, looking like a big dog about to receive a treat. Fuck, Eddie loves him so much. "Ask me".
"You… You know? You know".
"Is this the great speech you were telling me about?" Buck's shoulders move with the laughter bubbling outside of him and Eddie just wants to hear him saying yes and kiss him already.
"Stop!" Eddie cracks a silent laugh, shaking the nervousness out. "It was a stupid speech anyways, I don't-".
"Eddie, breathe. You know what I'm going to say, no matter what".
Eddie breathes in, breathes out, as Buck follows every movement like if he blinks, he could miss something important. Maybe he doesn't want to stop looking at Eddie's face, the way he's pouting his lips, the way his eyes look so big and so deep, knowing what's about to come is something he doesn't want to forget.
"I can't believe I'm nervous because… I always thought…" Eddie blinks away a few tears and Buck nods with encouragement. "I always thought it was going to be easy. You know I thought about this the first morning we woke up together? It was a lifetime ago and I saw you like that- you were asleep on my chest, your hair was a mess, you were drooling a little".
"Okay, okay, lets re-route". Buck clicks his tongue, squeezing Eddie's hand. It's insane how much they are still laughing with each pause, but the happiness is so much they can't have it guarded inside.
"You were the most gorgeous sight I have ever seen. And I was… I was so sure, that was the sight I wanted to have every day of my life. I am sure. So it's easy. I thought I wasn't going to be nervous because everything about loving you is so easy. I did it ever since the first time I saw you, even when I didn't know".
"Me too, baby. Me too".
"You know that, sometimes, when I was younger I thought I understood what it was like- being in love, I mean. I wanted to think that it was only chemical reactions inside our brains and logical explanations so I… I'd understand why it felt so wrong".
"You'd never think that forever. You're too romantic".
"Ha, yes. I couldn't. But nothing felt into place until- until I knew it with you, Buck. I thought what I felt, it would evolve. Into something less intense, something more mature, more… less like a fairytale, I guess. Because I thought that was normal. But every time I look at you, my heart grows bigger. You keep taking my breath away, you still make me shake with excitement. I still walk into a room only looking for you, knowing you're already watching me first. I still feel every ray of sunshine every time you touch me. I know you're the kindest, the best person I know who could love Chris as much as I do. I know you're where I feel most safe. I know you're my home. I know I'll keep choosing you one day and the next, and the next, and the next". Eddie releases his hands to go to his pocket again, finally searching for the ring box. He opens it in front of Buck and Buck takes a wet glance to the ring, but it lasts only a second before coming back to Eddie's eyes with the biggest smile he has ever seen. "I love you. I'm so in love with you and I'm so happy to be at your side, to be your best friend, to be chosen by you, as well. So, Evan Buckley, will you marry me?"
"Yes, Eddie, yes. God". Buck wipes a tear in his face and puts his left hand in front of him, so Eddie can put the silver and sparkly ring on his finger. Buck lets out a bubbly, unstable laugh as he does and manages to steal a short kiss from Eddie's lips, breathing heavily. "Thank you, I- I love you so much. You- I wanted to have this with you since that first day too. I woke up, I kissed your chest and you were looking at me- like I was something precious. Like I was worth everything at all. And after that… or well, I guess it was always like that, I started to find you everywhere, Eddie. You are around me so much that you have started to fill each part of me. I'm in the cereal aisle and I'm grabbing your favorite before anything else, I'm waiting for you at home and I put the thermostat down because I know you and Chris run hot, I try to stay awake at night so I can help you with your last crossword of the day, I cook something sweet every day so I know you'll have a happy day, I'm at work missing you like a lost limb when I know you're at the other side of the emergency probably doing something dangerous. I look at our kitchen and it feels like our first kiss. I look at our bed and it smells like that first night. I look at you and- and- my heart grows bigger too". Buck breathes out. "And I can't believe you beat me to it because I have your ring hidden in my bedside table".
Eddie's not sure how his body reacts anymore and his brain is even less sure. He just loves Buck and he wants to tell him, and kiss him, and kiss him, and he loves him. And he does —he kisses him, and tells him, and kisses him, and Buck sighs in his lips and they both are telling each other I love you, I love you, between kisses in the most beautiful echoes of the city and their voices merge, so they don't know who's saying it now, like they were one person and not two.
The last kiss of the night is less frantic. It's sweet and soft and Eddie's voice lowers within the realization of how much he still needs to tell him: "I love you, Buck".
"I love you too".
"I'm competitive", he says, with his hand covering Buck's cheek, with only an inch of air being the distance between them. "That's why I asked you first. And Chris got too tired of hearing me so he told me I needed to do it ASAP".
"Man, I thought he was just helping me".
Like that, the night ends. Eddie feels at ease. They go back to their bedroom, holding hands and it's easy, quiet, so calm that it reminds them of a lullaby. It should feel weird, because they are the opposite. But every time they are together, it feels peaceful. It's the ocean waves going back and forth to the shore, it's the smell of Buck's favorite coffee for the first time in the morning, it's falling asleep on each other's arms after a long shift, it's waking up being showered by sunshine and kisses everywhere. Their love is serenity, it's as beautiful as what Eddie felt that first time they promised to have each others' back.
Before falling asleep, Buck searches for the ring hidden in the bedside table. Eddie looks at it with his mouth slightly open with surprise and Buck has to erase that expression out of him with a kiss.